The Lost Human
by awesomesauce4
Summary: What happens when a human teenager meets a pony? What happens when both of them have gone through war, and seen it all? And what happens when they form a bond for eachother? Rated M for language, romance, and pony/human smut. You have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

9-09-13, 9:07 P.M.

Jeremy got in his black, clunky car and headed home from his school. It had been a long week, and he was insanely glad it was all over. Pausing a moment to wipe the blood and gunpowder off of his face, he didn't look forward to what awaited him at his house. The memories might be relatively fresh, but that didn't make them any less traumatizing. Well, at least he got the job done in the end. As he drove down the road, he noticed that the military had disappeared, presumably out of shame. In addition, yet more spectators were watching him drive away, presumably to victory. Some were taking pictures, and yet more were pointing and staring – Jeremy would simply have to learn to live with it. He was going to be some sort of celebrity now, whether he wanted to be or not. He waited for the light of the underpass to turn green, and sped off into the night.

As he was driving, Jeremy noticed how dark it was – typical for a September night, but still annoying because he had only recently graduated from driving school. He turned up the hill to his house, and sped off into the even darker, forested confines of his neighborhood.

Suddenly, there was a bright blue light in front of him, and a THUMP! Swearing profusely, Jeremy quickly got out of his car, and went to see what he had hit. What had caused the light, anyway? Searching in the dark, he finally came across a quadruped mammal – much more than that, he couldn't tell in the low light. He felt its body, trying to determine what it was. As he passed his hand over the side of the thing, his fingers hit soft, fluffy appendages. Shocked, Jeremy jerked his hand away, brushing against the neck of the creature and causing it to moan with pain. Grimacing, Jeremy decided to take it back to his house and see what he could do there. He picked it up, and dragged it over to his car, placing a towel on top of the seat so it didn't get blood over the upholstery – not that there wasn't enough blood on it already from when he entered. As he did, the inside light of the car flicked on, and he could finally see what it was.

Jeremy stared.

This was not what he had expected.

To start with, Jeremy had recently come into the My Little Pony fandom, watching most of the episodes and discussing them with the friend that had gotten him interested. He did enjoy the show, but he certainly wasn't enjoying what he saw here. Was he dreaming? Had he passed out in the car for some reason, and was now hallucinating or even asleep? Jeremy shook such thoughts from his head – if he were asleep, he wouldn't be in such pain. The medication must be wearing off, he thought to himself. Got to get home, and fix this thing and myself. Jeremy drove off into the night, slower this time.

Just a few minutes later, he arrived at his house, and pressed the button for the garage door. The sound caused both him and the pony to groan with pain – it was like a hangover, but so much worse. Not that Jeremy knew how a hangover felt, but he'd been dehydrated plenty of times. This was that plus being stabbed in several places, plus an all-over ache and fatigue that could have only come from strenuous exertion and lack of sleep. Jeremy dragged the pony into the kitchen, and rubbed his eyes one more time to make sure he wasn't just dreaming.

It was most definitely Princess Luna.

She was bleeding dark red from a gash in her side, and it looked like she had several bruised ribs. Thankfully, due to his recent actions, Jeremy had plenty of morphine sulfate on hand – he'd meant to turn it in to some police station or other, but had ended up using it out of necessity. He took out one of the pre-measured hypodermic needles, and briefly considered how much she should need. He needed about one and a half the last time he had to overcome injuries like this, which was about three days ago. However, she was lighter than he was, so he decided to just use one. Positioning the needle tip over the nearest vein he could find, he gently inserted it and pressed the plunger. The drug, as usual, quickly took effect, and Luna sighed and stilled, giving over to a deep sleep.

Jeremy then took out the other medical supplies he had raided from the medic and bandaged her multiple wounds, only pausing when he came across what appeared to be a bullet wound. Unless there had been hair-trigger shotguns attached to his front bumper, he had definitely not shot her. So where the hell did the bullet wounds come from? He found a pair of tweezers and cleaned them off, and attempted to poke around gently for any sort of bullet. To his half-surprise, he found one – but definitely not any bullet he had ever seen. It was spherical, for a start, and about the size of a BB pellet – but made of the usual lead. He went and found a vial in his garage lab – the perk of being a home chemist was that you always had plenty of scientific apparatus on hand.

Every time he found a bullet hole, he would dig out the strange bullets and place them in the vial. Soon, it was full – it was only a 10mL vial, but the amount of bullets was concerning to him. Maybe when she woke up, he'd ask her. After he was satisfied that he couldn't make her condition any better, Jeremy considered his options. Calling the police, hospital, or veterinarian would be a huge no-no, as they would most likely get the media… more involved than they already were. Calling his friends would do nothing to help his situation, as being an Eagle Scout he had more medical knowledge than any of them. Determining that no one could help him but himself, he decided to treat his own wounds. He was halfway through when Luna began to stir, and move around. Jeremy didn't know much medical training past what he had already done, but he was fairly certain it was not good to move around when you had such severe injuries. He found some rope, and with some difficulty, tied her to the ottoman she was currently situated on. He then went back to tending his own wounds, and zoned out a bit.

Jeremy completely failed to notice as Luna broke free of her bonds. Unsteadily, she got to her feet, and began using magic to patch herself up. The effort caused her to fall back into unconsciousness, shocking Jeremy out of his trance as she hit the floor again. Looking up, he noted with some surprise that she had gotten four feet away from her makeshift bed before collapsing again. Examining her further, he found to his surprise that she had managed to heal all of her injuries. Shrugging, he tied her to the ottoman again, more securely so she wouldn't break free and hurt herself again so easily. He then went up to his own bed, and drifted into a deep, morphine-aided sleep.

His dreams were filled with images of Luna, some real, some fake in the way only dream logic could distinguish them as such. It seemed she was in just as much of a haze as he was, and the minimally lucid part of his brain wondered what she had been through. She disappeared halfway through, and he fell even further down into mental oblivion.

9-10-13, 2:34 P.M.

When Jeremy woke up, sunlight was streaming through the windows and it was clearly late afternoon. He was sore all over, but feeling well enough to get up in his opinion. This thought was neatly shattered when he attempted to stand and a tidal wave of pain crashed over him. His stomach chose that exact moment to remind him how little he had eaten recently, so he decided that he needed to get downstairs to the kitchen, whether he liked it or not. Carefully hugging the wall so as not to pass out, he made his way to the stairs. He literally slid down – he had done this sometimes as a little kid, and while it was jarringly bumpy, it was not so painful as attempting to put his weight fully on either one of his feet. Once at the bottom, he slowly picked himself up and grabbed the wall again, only to be distracted by the sight of Luna standing in the hallway to the kitchen. She looked furious.

"THOU." She spoke. It wasn't her usual shouting voice, most likely due to her own recent injuries, but it was loud enough to cause instant headache all the same. Jeremy groaned in response, not feeling nearly well enough to speak.

"Thou art a carnivore – I looked in thy cooling device! Were thou to tie me up and eat me?!" Jeremy violently shook his head. "Speak, knave! Or face – are you bleeding?"

Confused by the sudden change of subject, Jeremy looked up to see her examining his many injuries. She was still saying something, but all he heard was a vague buzzing. At this time, his legs finally gave out and he slumped to the floor, passing out.

When he woke up, Jeremy felt a whole lot better – he wasn't hungry, or tired, or even in any pain. What the hell? Was he on morphine again? He looked around – he was back in his bed, and there was an empty tray that looked like it had contained food and drink. He decided not to get up just yet – the pain before had made him forget how nice it was to be in a comfy bed, and forget about the world. Luna came in, glaring at him as soon as he looked at her.

"Can thou speak? I am never sure." Luna queried.

"Yes," Jeremy whispered. He cleared his throat and tried again, almost too nervous to continue. "Yes, I can speak."

Luna stared for a bit before answering. "Then explain. I have woken up twice now restrained and sedated, and there was the flesh of other animals in your steel cooling chamber."

Jeremy grimaced – how best to explain? "I tied you up because you were injured," he finally managed to reply. "As for the meat, humans are omnivores – it's part of our culture."

This caused Luna to stare at him with even more intensity than before, enough to make Jeremy look away awkwardly. "Truly, thou art human? I have never seen one of your kind before… you are presumed to be mythical." To that piece of irony, Jeremy could only chuckle. "Have I said something amusing?" Luna asked, clearly somewhat offended.

"Well, yes. In this world, pretty much every sentient species of your world is mythical. So, it's ironic…" Jeremy trailed off. It had just now occurred to him that he was talking to a fictitious member of a mythical species from an alien planet. Well, this was an interesting turn in his life – and certainly a much better one than the previous week of hell he'd been through. Meanwhile, Luna was looking perplexed, almost as though she could read his mind.

"Fictitious…?" She whispered, confused and dismayed. "Are we… not real?" She finally asked, finding no other way to state her question. Jeremy thought about his answer.

"No," he said. "You're real – as far as I can tell. But… oh, how to explain this…" Jeremy suddenly had an idea. "You know Daring Do?" he asked. Luna slowly nodded, suspiciously.

"Of course we do… but how do _you_?" Jeremy rolled over to face her completely.

"The character she writes about is to you, as you are to us. A fictional tale, meant to instruct or amuse as the episode dictates." Blushing, Jeremy wished that a) His method of speech didn't sound so maddeningly smug and informed and b) that he could promptly disappear from the universe for revealing the existence of the so-called Fourth Wall. Luna was still in shock and a little bit angry from being told that she was essentially a children's storybook character, but it didn't look like she was about to shout at him again. Jeremy decided to show her his proof.

He got up, noticing how easy it was to do so, and slowly walked over to his desktop computer in the next room, noticing that all his wounds were now just pink scars. "Did you heal me, by the way?" he asked Luna, who was following him curiously and a little bit impatiently. She nodded. He booted up his desktop, which was a somewhat old model and thus a little slow to start.

Luna appraised the technology. "We have machines somewhat like this, but not approaching this level of complexity…" she commented as she examined the computer with what appeared to be X-ray vision. Jeremy fascinatedly stared at the innards of his computer – not that he hadn't seen them plenty of times when his Dad took the PC apart to upgrade or repair it, but it was still interesting, and he still didn't want to think about his dad.

Once he had finally signed in to his account, he waited the required 30 seconds for the desktop icons to load, and opened Google Chrome. He searched for the first episode of the first season of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic, and was rewarded after some searching with the full episode, in moderate quality. Luna watched as the opening scene unfolded and the music started. Jeremy couldn't keep a straight face, but was unsure whether to laugh or blush with embarrassment. They watched in silence for the full 20-ish minutes, and when it was done Jeremy looked at Luna for her reaction. She was slack-jawed in astonishment. "That was exactly how it happened, down to the most minute detail…" she exclaimed.

"So, there you have it." Jeremy replied, unsure of what else to say. He showed her how to find and watch more episodes, and left to eat more and clean the various blood spatters around the house.

It was late at night when he finished, and he came back upstairs to find Luna still perusing episodes. "Don't forget to sleep, or something," he commented in her direction, some of his old sarcastic humor beginning to resurface. She vaguely nodded and continued watching. Jeremy rolled his eyes, but thought better of his unspoken criticism. After all, he had reacted the same way when he had first gotten into the show. Jeremy went to bed, and slept normally for the first time in a long while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

9-11-13, 9:30 A.M.

When Jeremy woke up, the first thing he was aware of was that he couldn't hear the muffled sounds of the My Little Pony episodes in the next room. He dragged himself out of bed, got dressed, and slowly and silently headed downstairs to breakfast – he was not a morning person. To his surprise, Luna was also there, eating toast and jam. Jeremy raised an eyebrow as he approached. "Aren't you nocturnal, anyway?"

Luna finished her mouthful before answering. "We are, yes. But night for us is day for you, so this felt right." Jeremy shrugged and prepared a morning quesadilla.

"We noticed bullet wounds on your person when we… healed you… Didst thou engage in a gunfight?" Luna asked curiously. Jeremy's mood darkened slightly.

"Yes, you could say that. I don't want to talk about it." Luna nodded, understanding, and went back to eating. However, she couldn't seem to forget about it, brow furrowed in thought.

Jeremy, waiting for her to ask, finally opened with a question of his own. "So, you finished all the episodes, huh?" Luna nodded.

Jeremy, finishing his quesadilla, went back upstairs to his computer, and flicked through some websites. He could hear Luna rummaging around downstairs, but wasn't too concerned until he heard a shotgun blast right outside his house. He immediately ran out, foregoing shoes in favor of his bare feet, to find Luna with a rectangular bruise on her face in the backyard.

"We tried to use it, and it swung up and hit us!" Luna said angrily.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "It's a shotgun, it always does that. For humans, what you do is you hold it right between the arm and the shoulder, where there's a gap between the two bones. That way, you don't break yourself every time you shoot." Luna nodded, interested. Jeremy went on to process his second thought. "Why do you even have this?"

Luna blushed a little, looking guilty. "We found it in your car, and wanted to use it for our own purposes…"

Jeremy looked at her askance, one eyebrow raised in semi-mock horror. "Who the hell do you need to shoot? And wait, is this related to the bullet wounds I saw on you earlier?" Luna shifted her glance away from his eyes before responding.

"Perhaps now is a good time to tell you why and how I arrived on this strange world."

They headed inside first, as Luna claimed the story was somewhat lengthy. Jeremy unloaded the shotgun and placed it on the table, and sat down to hear Luna's tale.

"By now, we are certain you are aware of the existence of the changelings, insectoid creatures who can take the form of any they see. A short while ago, the queen Chrysalis was defeated by the combined efforts of the Elements of Harmony, Princess Mi Amore de Cadenza, and her groom Shining Armor. She has since gathered her forces, preparing for a new attack." Jeremy nodded, intrigued. "This time, Chrysalis has amassed enough changeling troops for a direct invasion, starting in Ponyville as it was the closest town to where she lives."

Jeremy looked up. "Incidentally, where does she live?" Luna thought about it. "As far as we can tell, inside the Everfree Forest. No one has ventured near enough to the changeling lair and returned alive to confirm this." Jeremy nodded, and waved a hand for her to keep going.

"Her first invasion took a day, and she has taken over Ponyville, placing most of the inhabitants in the local prison and directly imprisoning Twilight Sparkle and her friends using her changelings' abilities. She has since began spreading out her army, mainly heading for Canterlot to reclaim the throne and thus take over Equestria completely. I was heading down to Ponyville to battle, when I was stopped by a squadron of changelings with similar weapons," she said as she pointed at the shotgun. "I barely escaped with my life, and just as they were about to retake me, I cast a spell to take me anywhere else. And thus, I ended up here."

Jeremy winced. "And was promptly hit by a car. Sorry about that." Luna graciously accepted the apology.

"Equestria has never seen extensive use of these 'guns' – ponies could not use them, due to our lack of additional appendages. Thus, we need someone who knows how to use them, and knows how to use them well, in a large-scale battle. And judging by your own scars and memories, we need you."

Jeremy quickly shook his head. "Oh, hell no. Once was enough – I am not fighting an army again."

Luna took his hands in her hooves. "Jeremy, if thou refuse to help us, our nation will surely die. These are innocent, civilian lives at stake – and if anyone can save them, by all rights it could be you. After all… the shot-gun was not the only gun we saw in the back of your car."

Jeremy glared at her. "Fine. But after this, assuming I even survive, I'm through." Luna smiled, straightened up, and shook his hand with her hoof before leaving to test more of the weapons. Jeremy just hoped the neighbors didn't think something was up – typically his house was relatively silent. He was surprised the police hadn't come yet, much less the military – or were they both scared of him now?

9-11-13, 1:07 P.M.

Was Jeremy a hero for his actions, or a mass murderer? It was hard to say – and worse, it all came down to public perception. Sure, he'd been there the day the mysterious, terrorist-style group attacked his high school. Sure, he'd grabbed a piece of steel pipe and fought back, later switching it out for an amassment of guns he had looted from various corpses. And yes, after a long and protracted series of battles up and down the halls of his school and sometimes in the outside parking lots and recreational areas, he'd killed enough of them to turn the tide in his favor, all without a single student death due to the combined efforts of him and his erstwhile teachers. For just coming back to school, they were surprisingly prepared – most knew how to fire a gun, lock doors, hide, and everything else they would need to survive. His parents attempted to enter the building to rescue him, only to be shot by a man who was immediately thereafter shot by Jeremy – another one of his regrets is that he hadn't done that seven seconds sooner.

Eventually, the military arrived at the scene, only to attempt to negotiate with the hostile party: Jeremy's life for their leaving without taking a single life. Jeremy didn't take too kindly to that, and after a few tossed grenades, Squad 15 and the negotiating party was only so many body parts. That in particular was one of his most regretted actions – it would have been far better to kill only the original terrorists, without harming a member of the military. Of course, after that, it was a simple game of rounding up the rest of the group, and leaving none alive. After a week of running, shooting, and desperately clinging on to life by the tips of his fingers, Jeremy had finally managed to come out alive and relatively unscathed. The rest of the students, trapped in the facility until his intervention, only escaped at the very end, when he lured all the remaining terrorists into a rooftop battle which he only barely survived and won. Thankfully, all of the terrorists had stayed in the high school buildings until the very end, trying desperately to scrounge a victory and kill Jeremy as he managed to kill more and more of them. Were they terrorists? Jeremy had always been unsure of their goals, and simply presumed that they wanted to kill children to show the world they could.

Jeremy ruminated on this often, now that he was left to his own devices. Another thing that struck him was that he didn't feel any grief, either for the deaths of his parents or the slaughter he had already committed. This was certainly inhuman, as Jeremy was under the impression that he was supposed to be crying his eyes out – all he could feel was a dull ache every time he thought about it. Was this post-traumatic stress disorder? He didn't know enough, and he certainly wasn't going to ask – after what he had been through, he was almost definitely a unique case. Still, once in a while he tried to feel sad for their deaths, and every time he simply could not manage to do it. It wasn't sadness or guilt that defined his feelings, Jeremy decided. It was emptiness. He'd been bled dry of guilt, sorrow and grief, and all that was left was a dull ache where his heart should be telling him to stop, slow down, maybe shed a few tears for all that had happened. Anger, too, was gone: Initially he had been blazing with fury at the newcomers, terrorist and military alike, and had cut them down without a second thought.

He looked down at his backpack, stained with blood and emptied of textbooks and papers in favor of ammunition cartridges and medical supplies (most of which had been used last night). Was it possible to clean it? No, he'd simply have to switch to a new backpack, as this one had been ripped and torn from its extensive use anyway. He went and found another backpack, this one usually only for day trips and vacations. He neatly packed all the ammunition he had in the new backpack, as well as the remaining morphine ampoules and gauze. He then went outside to gather the rest of the ammunition for the shotgun and the other large guns, which for obvious reasons couldn't be stored in the backpack. Luna was still out back, but he wasn't hearing anything. He went around to the backyard to investigate, to find her still firing guns – but with no sound, evidently the result of magic on her part. She looked tired, but satisfied.

As Jeremy entered her vicinity, she stopped, pausing a moment to disable the spell and wipe the sweat from her face. "So, we're just straight-up murdering a bunch of changelings?" Jeremy asked to confirm his thoughts. Luna nodded her head by way of greeting, and then thought about it.

"Actually, we are not sure they would die from such weapons – their form is already so amorphous that a bullet would do little more than irritate them in the long run. Still, they do feel pain when it penetrates their exoskeletons, so if thou can hit them with thy bullets enough times, they should pass out from the pain alone. We have been attempting to use these weapons, but we are not accurate enough to face the tasks ahead." Jeremy considered this. On the one hand, he wasn't committing mass murder again, which could only be a good thing. On the other, wow that would hurt them – most humans died after a short burst of rounds due to organ failure, whereas changelings would apparently keep going until the pain cut them off from consciousness. Luna went inside to wipe the gunpowder and sweat off of herself, and Jeremy followed, finding a towel for her. Then, they discussed a battle plan over dinner.

9-11-13, 8:37 P.M.

"Would that it would be possible to modify the weapon to only affect changelings," Luna sadly remarked as she stared at an assault rifle laid on the table.

"What about armor?" Jeremy queried. Luna shook her head.

"We have tried. Steel armor is simply punched through by these bullets, and we have no other material which can withstand their force, never having needed any."

Jeremy smirked. "Thankfully, we've had to deal with firearms for over a thousand years, so humans have made some good steps in modern armor. First, multiple layers of nano-ceramic plates linked together like chain mail is the current bulletproofing used by our military, and it's more effective than Kevlar – a similarly designed fabric that dampens the shock if thick enough." Luna took notes on a notepad she had managed to find. "As for melee weapons, simple rubber padding is enough to stop most of that, and we recently invented a sweet new material called sorbothane – a derivative of polyurethane that absorbs shock insanely well."

Luna looked up. "But what of cutting weapons? Surely a material designed for shock and impact would not withstand stabbing?" Jeremy brought over a laptop and entered a Google search.

"I once researched this as part of a pipe dream for a suit of armor. Stabproof fabric is possible too – but I'm thinking it has to be a separate layer." He pulled up a site, and together they read about nano-silicon dioxide particles mixed with a shear thickening fluid such as polyethylene glycol, and applied to a fabric such as Kevlar or even nylon.

"So… what we could do to tie these all together is alternate a few layers of each, until we have a thick, padded layer of armor – plus, each one is relatively lightweight. It'll be like wearing a particularly heavy shirt," Jeremy mused.

"Where would we get all of this?" Luna wondered.

"I can definitely pick up some polyethylene glycol as antifreeze, and after a distillation it should be free enough of water to use. We already have the nanoparticles of silicon dioxide – it's used as a spill cleanup, and it's soft enough to put in the coffee grinder to pulverize it. As for the sorbothane, Kevlar and nanoceramic, those we might have to create magically – even if I placed an order for them online, it might take days or even weeks, which we don't have. Speaking of which, how long do we have?" Luna considered this for a few solid minutes.

"Given that Shining Armor has been reinstated as commander, and his troops are battling the changelings in the streets of Canterlot as we speak, and my own sister has been directly engaging the troops and knows of their weapons, we estimate we have two more days before they will presumably overrun us. As for creating those items magically, if thou can show us how they are made than we will make them – we have recovered greatly after healing." Jeremy nodded.

"Then let's spend tomorrow getting all of this ready, and get back there as soon as possible. You do know how to get back, right?" Luna nodded.

"We can send both of us back at any point, but we will be exhausted for a short while afterwards." Jeremy grimaced.

"Then you'll have to teleport us a distance away from any actual battle, so we can find you a place to recuperate while I go clean house." Luna agreed, and they went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Jeremy decided to play some first-person shooter video games, to better get himself in the mood for the upcoming fight. Luna fascinatedly watched as he shot his way through scores of virtual enemies. "Can thou replicate such performance in the real world?" she asked.

"I wish I couldn't," Jeremy replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: In this chapter, I'm going to introduce a new mechanic. Unfortunately, FIMFiction doesn't do this the way I would hope, so you're all going to have to use your imaginations and a little creative YouTube searching to get the job done appropriately. The mechanic will be signified by a /{content}.**

**Chapter 3**

9-12-13, 7:00 A.M.

As soon as he woke up, Jeremy drove off to the nearest auto shop to get some polyethylene glycol to distill. Luna, who quickly learned how to use a computer, did research on the structures of sorbothane, nanoceramics, and Kevlar. Jeremy got home an hour later, jugs of polyethylene glycol in hand, and set about distilling it as quickly and efficiently as possible. Thankfully, he had a distillation rig that could fit the amount he needed.

9-12-13, 9:17 A.M.

"How much have you gotten?" Luna asked, reading a bunch of articles on polyurethane.

"About 100 milliliters of water taken off? Distillation is such a slow process," Jeremy replied. Making sure that the rig could be left alone safely, he studied along with Luna. He had also brought down some various, unwanted articles of clothing and a printout of the chemical structure of Kevlar, so that Luna could alter them at the molecular level to make them Kevlar fabric. By the time she was finished, and satisfied with her results, three more hours had passed. Luna ate lunch, and Jeremy breakfast. When they finished with their meals, the distillation was done, and Jeremy left the flask of newly purified ethylene glycol to cool.

9-12-13, 1:34 P.M.

Jeremy had since gotten some broken pottery and silica particles, which they were transforming into the final parts of the armor. "I can't believe this thing is almost done already," Jeremy commented. "Guess that's magic for you – efficient and above all, quick." Luna nodded, and then looked over at him.

"Thou dost not have magic in thy world… at all?" Jeremy shook his head.

"All the stuff we have is science," he said.

9-12-13, 3:32 P.M.

They had taken the burlap-like armor out for a test run. So far, it was stabproof, and bulletproof. The tiny lead shells the changelings were presumably using were about as effective as BB pellets. "Now, could we get about a thousand of these for our military?" Luna joked.

"Hey, that's an unfair advantage. Arms races are supposed to be one step up from each side, not like two or three," Jeremy just as jokingly replied. Luna chuckled. Finally, Jeremy got to put on the jumpsuit-shaped armor for the first time.

"How does it feel?" Luna asked as he slid into the skintight fabric.

"Like I'm putting on a snorkeling suit. Not heavy at all." Jeremy replied, pleased. Luna then took out a piece of steel pipe and gave him a quick whack with it. Jeremy winced, but then stared at his shoulder.

"There would definitely be a bruise there," he commented.

"And what did happen?" Luna asked, with clinical curiosity.

"Nothing at all," he responded enthusiastically.

Luna grinned. "It's ready."

Jeremy raised a finger. "I still need a helmet, right? If they're shooting at me, they'll probably be aiming for the head." Luna thought a while, then marched off. She came back with the bag of powdered silica they had made earlier. Using her magic, she melted it, then shaped it into a roughly dome-shaped, transparent helmet, with some holes in the back so he could breathe. "Quartz helmet. Nice," Jeremy complimented.

"I'd like to see the bullet that could get through this," she responded. She then enchanted the suit to hold his weapons and ammunition without him having to carry them, and enchanted his ammunition to self-repair so he could fire indefinitely. At the end, Luna was exhausted, but before them stood a one-man army.

After checking over the suit one final time to make sure it was spotless, Jeremy and Luna had one more thing to do. "How am I going to know which ponies to shoot and which to protect, if the changelings start transforming?" Jeremy asked. Luna frowned.

"It's long been a point of research to try and figure out a means of telling. Unfortunately, the only thing we have is that they are much colder than any pony could be."

Jeremy brightened. "If we can make an infrared camera and attach it to my glasses, I'd be able to see how hot things were." Luna looked it up, and quickly made the tiny circuitboard and camera necessary. Jeremy messily hot-glued it onto the left eye of his glasses, where he could already see well enough.

After that, they took the evening off. Jeremy decided to introduce Luna to his favorite bits of pop culture, and Luna happily complied as they made their way through his soundtrack. "Best video game sound track," Jeremy commented. "Joel Nielsen is amazing."

Luna nodded, eyes wide and headphones on. "We should put this in the suit somehow," she remarked.

"Do you seriously want to? Because we can," Jeremy answered. He went and found a small speaker and amplifier circuit he rarely used, and tried to determine the best place to put it inside the suit until Luna placed it in the front, just below the helmet. "That works too," Jeremy thought aloud. They tested it, and the sound emanated perfectly from the speaker, reverberating in the helmet as well.

After the video game soundtracks, Jeremy moved on to actual mainstream music. As it turned out, Luna had some of the same musical interests he did, but laughed at others. "Art thou quite sure this is popular?" she chuckled.

"Yes! They were top of the world in 1997!" Jeremy angrily responded. He chuckled a bit as well, to show he didn't hold any actual enmity towards her. From that, they moved back to video games, as Jeremy played through a few more he liked. This continued for most of the night, only stopping for dinner (yet more quesadillas). After a few hours, Luna leaned on Jeremy's shoulder, half asleep and half out of contentment. Jeremy, after a few uncomfortable minutes of his inner shy and antisocial voice screaming at him to do something, decided to allow it.

9-13-13, 9:02 P.M.

Before they went to bed, Jeremy approached Luna for one final request. "Hey… can I touch your hair for a bit?" he asked, then blushed furiously at the nature of his question. Jeremy hated himself for blushing, as normally as he was untouchably emotionless unless around friends. Luna blushed as well, but allowed it. Jeremy examined her hair, which at first sight appeared to simply be a cloud of stars. He poked it with a finger, to find that it parted just like normal hair, and was otherwise regular hair – aside from the fact that it floated and blew as if in some unseen breeze, and stars twinkled in its depths. Luna appeared pleased at the attention. "So, why exactly is your hair like this?" he asked.

"We use this style to fit our role as the princess of the night – Celestia adopted a similar style upon adulthood. My original hair was a light blue, as you may have seen, and hers was a light pink." Jeremy nodded interestingly, and gave her hair one final, gentle tousling before heading to bed.

9-14-13, 5:14 A.M.

Jeremy woke up to a muffled scuffling and screaming of his name. "Jeremy! Help! He-" Luna shouted, but was quickly silenced. He quickly got up and rushed downstairs, only to see that changelings had arrived through a green portal of their own. All he could think was _oh god it's happening it's happening again what do I do_ until it occurred to him that in their time, it was the middle of the day. He hurriedly slipped into his armor, stuffing it over his pajamas. Grabbing his armor and all of his weapons, he shouldered his assault rifle and stepped through the green hole in space.

The transmission appeared to be instantaneous for Jeremy. He arrived in the sunlit square of Ponyville, where changelings were still running rampant. Luna, obviously, was long gone – the five minutes it had taken him to haul his ass over here had cost him any chance of immediately recovering her. Well, he did have a job to do anyway. Jeremy shouldered the assault rifle again.

When he was finished, Jeremy was surprised at the ease at which changelings went down. They had fired back at him, but it mildly stung as opposed to being actual bullet wounds. Of course, he had not counted on them having heavier weaponry, so he'd have to still be careful. He quickly found the jail, going off of Luna's earlier instructions, and opened the door to find a literal wall of green sludge that immediately spread out into the square. Once he had let the room clear out a bit, he wandered through the classic-style dungeon, examining barred cells for occupants. Finding none, he continued on. The jail was relatively small, perhaps the size of his house. As he came to the back end of the jail, crammed into just 2 cells were perhaps a hundred green, bulging sacks, each containing a pony. Thankfully, the cells were open – evidently the changelings had planned for many more ponies to be 'stored' here. Jeremy took out his steel pipe, and began to swing.

The shock of falling six inches to the floor woke most ponies, who had been asleep, possibly due to some effect of the fluids inside the viscous green cocoons. Twilight in particular was fast to wake, stretching her wings and beginning to thank her savior when she noticed who he was. She immediately shrank back to the wall in fear, as Jeremy stared on. When she had confirmed that he wasn't hostile, she shakily extended a hoof in greeting. Jeremy, meanwhile, could not think of a single opening word to say – just what did you say to the main character of the story? After a second or two of thinking, he decided to remain mute and shook her hoof, gently gripping so as to not cause her any discomfort.

Some changelings picked that moment to burst into the room, guns drawn. Jeremy almost automatically whipped out his own assault rifle and mowed them down before they could fire a single shot – unfortunately, the other ponies winced from the loud noise. Jeremy frowned. He'd have to be careful about using guns indoors – didn't want anyone to go deaf, after all. He motioned for the ponies to stay where they were, and gave them the guns of the two changelings he had just rendered unconscious. Twilight hesitantly grabbed one, and with that, Jeremy walked out of the room.

9-14-13, 6:02 P.M.* (* = Equestrian time)

/{Black Mesa OST – Forget About Freeman}

A few minutes later, Jeremy was moving through Ponyville, gunning down any changelings he happened upon. Despite his innumerable advantages, the numbers of changelings and the wide open spaces were starting to wear him down – another thing he had forgotten to mention was that he was no track runner. In fact, he had had an ingrown toenail before the school incident, right up until Luna healed it somehow. He could run now, but not for very long.

As he alternately jogged and walked along, changelings seemed to pour out of every house and tree he came across, to the point where he was battling six or seven at once. His arms began to ache with the familiar pain of firing a gun for extended periods of time, and his whole body was stinging irritatingly from the small arms fire they were sending his way. Also, he was hungry.

It was a spectacularly green bloodbath. Twenty or so had decided to engage him at once, and he had to teach them the hard way that he was not to be messed with. Nineteen lay twitching on the floor, and the last remaining one had dropped his weapon and was backing against the wall. For a fraction of a second, Jeremy felt he should let this one go. A fraction of a second later, he decided against it and pumped the changeling full of lead. No mercy. Not today, not ever. And so it went. On and on, Jeremy shot more and more changelings as the music looped to compensate – another enchantment on Luna's part, Jeremy supposed. He'd have to thank her assuming he made it to her.

/{end}

9-14-13, 7:08 P.M.*

Finally, he came to a train station at the very edge of town, and the music ended. One train was still there, the rest having departed and never returned. Jeremy examined the train route – it was pointed directly towards the mountain leading up to Canterlot. But how to get it working? He examined the front compartment. Some changelings were there, but already unconscious and bleeding in multiple places. "Well, you sure don't look like any bug I've seen today," a gruff and vaguely Texan accent greeted him. He looked up to see an earth pony in a leather apron, crowbar in hand. Jeremy nodded mutely, and pointed up at Canterlot.

"Well, newcomer, I ain't takin ya. It's a warzone up there, and while I ain't no coward, I'm not dumb enough to walk inta that," the pony explained. "If'n ya want to go yourself, I can start the train up for you, but I ain't taggin' along." Jeremy nodded again in agreement. The pony set about starting up the train, which was coal-powered to his dismay. When it started, there was no sooty smoke to his surprise – perhaps magic had found a way to make the combustion more efficient. The point was, he was on his way that much faster.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

9-14-13, 8:55 P.M.

As much as Jeremy was committing senseless violence, he still felt he was holding back a bit. There was one time during the school incident where he had let go of all inhibitions and reservations towards killing… He was unsure what had happened next, but there were more than a few fresh corpses around where he had found himself standing. Hopefully, he could refrain from that – protecting Luna and the ponies was one thing, but scaring them was quite another. Not that he wasn't already terrifying, according to some reports he overheard. The train was nearing Canterlot, and soon he would have to go back into the fray of battle.

Another thing he noticed was that the sun hadn't gone down yet – having the sun stay where it was in the sky was weird enough, but it was almost 9 P.M. according to his watch (which he had adjusted earlier on the train to account for the 12-hour time discrepancy) and the sun was still blazing overhead as if it were high noon. He avoided shooting any changelings he found along the way, if only because he didn't want to attract attention to where he was headed. Things were going to be hard enough on the center stage even if he had the advantage of surprise.

9-14-13, 9:17 P.M.

As Jeremy stepped off the train, he considered the chain of events that had lead him to this. Luna only asked twice, and he had agreed to commit senseless slaughter. Was it because he wanted to protect the ponies? No, as much as he had some sort of fatherly instinct towards them, he hardly knew them. Was it because it was Luna asking? While Jeremy considered them friends at this point, he didn't know what to think beyond that – and was unsure what Luna felt about him. Besides, it wasn't like he was guaranteed to win or even survive - he was just as likely to die here as in the school incident, if only because sooner or later, someone would figure out how to rip off his suit. Jeremy shrugged and got out his shotgun. Maybe he just wanted to die a hero.

The Canterlot streets, much to his surprise, were empty of ponies and changelings alike. Many of the shops interested him, having never been indoctrinated to Equestrian culture where things like 'Alchemy' were real business practices. As he passed the streets, several windows opened and then quickly closed, despite no breeze being present. Jeremy would almost have smiled at their tactlessness, but decided to leave the hiding civilians alone.

As he walked onward towards the castle, he became aware of a commotion to his left, the sound of gunfire permeating the air. Jeremy was faced with a choice: Continue to the direct objective, or investigate this? His decision was made for him as he was physically pulled over into the shadow of the alley, to be greeted by what appeared to be Shining Armor. Jeremy checked with his infrared camera – yes, this was indeed Shining Armor. "I've heard reports of a lone fighter in Ponyville, and you fit the bill. What are you?" Shining asked. Jeremy decided to remain silent – he didn't know exactly why, but if humans were mythical in this world, a conversation as such would be a distraction. "Never mind. It doesn't matter, as long as you're with us. A large group of changelings has taken that building and every occupant hostage, and is threatening to kill them if we don't surrender." Jeremy looked out towards the building. On the cobblestone exterior, he could make out the words "Canterlot Day Care." Fresh rage ignited inside of him, and before he knew it, he had shouldered aside Shining Armor and ran straight at the changeling horde, assault rifle blazing.

/{Black Mesa OST – Questionable Ethics 1}

It was insanity. Jeremy didn't even feel the bullet impacts, he was so furious. Every single changeling attacked at once, and he didn't even feel fear as he punched, shot and hit them off, steel pipe swinging from the hand that wasn't gripping his assault rifle. The part of him that was still remotely sane wondered if despite the sorbothane padding on his shoulders he would get a bruise in the morning. Still, the changelings were being cut down faster than Jeremy had time to pay attention to. Moreover, his vision was beginning to tunnel, and his hearing began to sound tinny and fuzzy. He guessed he was going to pass out if he kept this up. What a fine way to get yourself killed – get so angry, you pass out right in the middle of a fight. Jeremy attempted to take stock of his surroundings through the haze. There were only a few changelings left, running for their lives as he came after them. As he caught up to the first, he picked it up and slammed it against the nearest wall, instantly knocking it out. He gave the second a blow to the head, continuing with the momentum of his fist until this changeling too was driven to the ground, then shot it up for good measure. The final runner was picked up by the legs, and in true Hulk-style, smashed into the ground on either side of Jeremy – it had gone limp a while ago, whether from fear or unconsciousness.

/{end}

"Holy Celestia," Shining Armor exclaimed as he came upon the battlefield that used to be the front of the daycare. At least the kids couldn't see this – the windows had been boarded up prior to the changelings' invasion, when it became clear they would reach Canterlot. Changelings were strewn about, some looking as though they had been through a trash compactor. Honorable fights were one thing, but this was pure brutality. Shining Armor considered the earlier reports his own sister had given him via teleportation before running off to see how she could help – according to her, this thing had remained perfectly calm before.

_Oh my God, they were going to kill little kids_, Jeremy thought. It was the only thought his brain could process, for though he was beginning to come out of the white fuzz that accompanied his unbridled, psychopathic bloodlust, he was still out of it mentally. He was only interrupted from this train of thought when his infrared camera picked up something strange. A symbol had appeared on a door – a crescent moon of cold blue, surrounded by a splotch of warmer yellow-red. Compared with the yellow-green of his current surroundings, it made quite a stark contrast on the camera –and Jeremy was sure it hadn't been there before. He cautiously entered the building.

As soon as he entered, a counter of the shop lit up blue. An object appeared on the tabletop, and Jeremy quickly switched to infrared version. It was room temperature, and didn't look too odd. In fact… it looked just like a laser-guided rocket launcher. A very _familiar_ rocket launcher. "Oh man, thanks a million," Jeremy said as he appraised Luna's gift, flicking on the laser sights. He stowed it in his suit and moved on.

An odd thing about Jeremy's metabolism, in his opinion, was that his weight stayed relatively constant at a lightweight 135 pounds, no matter what or how much he ate. Nonetheless, he was hungry. He might eat something from one of the kitchens, but would have no way to pay for it. It was about 10 A.M. back home, and he would have certainly eaten something by now. Maybe he could nick something from a food store? He came back to Shining Armor, who was eyeing him apprehensively. "You're… different. Where did you come from?" he commented. Jeremy, true to form, remained silent. No sense shocking anyone with his ability to speak. Even though that didn't really make much sense, Jeremy was going to roll with being silent as long as he could.

Shining was about to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of a siren nearby. "Under cover! NOW!" he screamed to his troops and a few ponies who had strayed out of their homes to view the carnage. Jeremy followed him to the shelter of a nearby building. "Stranger, stay down. The changelings have sent a gunship over here – and these are much worse than the soldiers. They're impenetrable, and can fire bullets from afar – we can't combat these things, only hide as they pass over."

To Jeremy, that sounded like a hunter-chopper. He looked outside. Sure enough, it was helicopter-shaped, although the exterior was covered with the usual brittle, carbonized and pockmarked texture of the changelings._Well_, Jeremy thought as he took out the rocket launcher and grimly strode outside. _Looks like Luna knows a bit more than me_.

/{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 1}

As soon as it saw him, the chopper made a beeline for him. Jeremy grinned. Good – this would give anyone else a chance to escape while he showed this chopper a good time. He was beginning to get overconfident in his abilities, and thus was very surprised when it unloosed a hail of bullets. These were bigger than the usual projectiles – these ones very seriously hurt. He shot a rocket back to it, using the targeting laser to guide it around the chopper. After stumbling backwards from the amazing kick of such a weapon, he shouldered it in what he assumed was a better position and continued leading the chopper away from Shining and his group.

Jeremy was concerned. Despite the infinite ammo (which was surely tiring Luna out something fierce), he had given this thing 4 rockets and it still hadn't exploded. At least the music hadn't had to loop yet – in fact, this whole exchange was going relatively quickly. How to end this quickly? Jeremy had an idea. He fired another rocket, and after going through the usual crazy trail as the ship attempted to shoot it down, brought it up towards the chopper blades. It was a direct hit, and without anything to keep it aloft, the gunship quickly fell towards the Earth, crashing in a spectacular explosion of flying debris. Shining Armor was visibly flabbergasted from his position inside the safety of the nearest building – the citizens were gone, presumably having been evacuated to another safe point, but the military was still there. Somewhat randomly, Jeremy noticed they were all armed with bows and swords – a few guns were present on their persons, but it looked like they weren't being used.

Just as Shining was about to step out and congratulate him, the siren sounded again – two short bursts instead of one. Jeremy looked up to see two ominous shadows on the horizon, and now he was concerned for his safety. He couldn't distract both of them with the rockets, as when he shot at one the other would attack him. Plus, with bullets of this caliber, he couldn't be invulnerable forever – eventually they'd break through. It vaguely reminded him of chess. Another thought came to him, no doubt born of an unhealthy liking for gaming. He couldn't use his rocket launcher to blast himself up there, as that was just stupid. _Do it_, a voice said in his mind._What have you got to lose?_ My life, Jeremy answered mentally. _Trust me_, the voice replied, and Jeremy thought it sounded vaguely like Luna. Almost as if to prove a point, the rocket launcher lit up blue again. Jeremy considered this in the second before the choppers arrived. Well, he _did_ have seriously thick sorbothane padding on his shoes. Oh, what the hell - "If I die, I blame you," Jeremy muttered as he pointed the rocket launcher at the ground. In what he thought was the right timing, he jumped onto it like a pogo stick, aimed the back end at the ship, and pressed the trigger.

The explosion sent him flying, and part of Jeremy was amazed he hadn't just exploded himself. The shrapnel from the exploding rocket bounced off of his suit (thanks to the stabproof fabric embedded within), but he could feel the heat wave – another thing to take care of after this would be first-degree burns. Unfortunately, he had timed his attack incorrectly – instead of overshooting and landing on top as he had planned, he got hit in the stomach by a blade of the helicopter. The suit prevented him from getting anything more than the wind knocked out of him, but he had better recover fast – a fall from this height was almost certainly fatal. Partially out of instinct and partially for convenience, Jeremy grabbed on to the spinning chopper blade, riding it around. He let go, and was flung onto the far end of the ship, just out of the blades' reach. To his surprise, the second chopper began shooting at the first, with him on top – either these changelings were very stupid, or very anxious to see him dead. As the bullets hit his legs, he yelled in pain. In an even worse change of plans than riding the chopper to victory, Jeremy decided to use the rocket launcher while still on top of the first, scoring a direct hit on the blade rotor. The second chopper crashed to the ground, coming dangerously close to the first, which unsuccessfully attempted to avoid it. Jeremy casually stepped onto the second chopper, re-aimed his rocket launcher, and shot at the rotor of the first, missing the first time. The second time, he hit it just enough to bend one of the blades downward, thus stopping the rotor from moving and breaking it. Both gunships fell to the earth in a stream of flaming debris.

/{end}

As they hit the ground, Jeremy unlocked his knees and braced for impact. It wasn't bone-breaking, but it still hurt like hell. He checked for another gunship, searching the skies, and was startled when Shining tapped him on the back. "You just… you… that was all three. They had three gunships, and…" Shining stammered, evidently at a loss for words. Back to playing cool, even though on the inside he was rattled at the stupidity of his actions, Jeremy dropped him a nod. "Sir, now that the gunships are gone, we can attempt to retake Canterlot," a guard said. "Well…" Shining Armor replied as he considered the possibilities. "With this one on our side, how could we fail?" he answered brightly. Jeremy rolled his eyes and followed them to Canterlot Castle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

9-14-13, 11:32 P.M.

/{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 2}

In Jeremy's opinion, the war was now going pretty well. They slowly fought their way through the streets of Canterlot, and each time a changeling dropped Jeremy stole the gun and gave it to one of the soldiers. They learned how to use them fairly quickly, and after a bit of practice were more or less hitting what they aimed at – although no one would give them awards for marksmanship just yet. Jeremy's only complaint was that the streets of Canterlot were tiny for him – he was barely keeping march with the rest of the entourage, and often found himself shunted to the front or back. They did seem to enjoy the music, though. Changelings came around a corner, guns drawn and voices hissing. To Jeremy's satisfaction, they were taken out by the guards.

They came upon a particularly devastated street, that had a single path through – single-file for the ponies, impossible for Jeremy. "This is our only way through, and we don't have time to look for another one. I'm sorry, stranger, but you're going to have to find your own way through – we need to see if the royalty has been compromised as soon as possible," Shining informed Jeremy. Jeremy nodded. Shining put a hoof on his chest, to make sure Jeremy's attention was fixed on him – a meaningless gesture to Jeremy, as he was already listening. "One last thing – if you see my wife, do what you can to protect her. She's pink, with the mark of a crystal heart, and has purple and yellow hair. Last I saw of her, changelings were carrying her off to the caves underneath Canterlot. Got it?" Jeremy nodded once more. With that, Shining's group sped off, presumably straight to the castle, while Jeremy scouted an alternate route for himself.

/{end}

He found one in the form of a lone, intact building. The building was fairly low, perhaps 20 feet high. What's more, it had plenty of available handholds and footholds in the form of steel decorations. Jeremy was unsure what kind of building this used to be, but at the moment didn't really care. He climbed on top of it without too much difficulty, and looked at the next street over, which was significantly more open – and devoid of anything living. Did he hear something? Jeremy was almost sure something just grunted in the distance. It'd have to be pretty far off to make such a noise without him seeing it. Besides, he had guns. He'd be fine.

9-15-13, 12:07 A.M.

/{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 3}

Jeremy carefully climbed down the building, noting the music playing from his speakers. Wasn't this one of the calmer, wandering tracks? It wasn't like he selected the music – it just seemed to know when to start, stop and loop. He was almost to the ground when he felt a sudden, small shake, as though a minor earthquake had just occurred. Concerned, he looked around, and nervously returned to climbing down. He was quickly interrupted by a second vibration, and then more. As he dropped to the ground, he heard a massive, earthshaking roar, and fearfully looked up. A single changeling, easily the size of the building he'd just climbed down, had spotted him and was now running at him. After being paralyzed in terror for a full second, Jeremy's survival instincts kicked in and he started doing just about the only thing he could – run like hell.

As he ran, Jeremy was being extremely distracted. He was hungry. Tired. Yes, scared. Terrified, even, which was an emotion he'd had experience with before but not on this level. He ducked through alleyways, small streets, through shops – anything he could find to slow the monster that was after him. Finding an open space, he quickly turned around, pulled out his rocket launcher, and fired at the thing. To his relief, it was a direct hit – but the thing shook it off and then continued running after him. _What the hell?!_ Jeremy thought. _What kind of organism shrugs off a rocket launcher blast_?

Jeremy had been sprinting for quite some time now. The music was not at all a song for wandering – it had quickly shifted over after the first minute to a very actiony-sounding beat, full of heavy drums and bass. It certainly helped with his adrenaline levels, at any rate. As he ran, not stopping despite the pounding in his chest and the fatigue in his sides, he considered if it was even possible to kill this thing. Certainly it didn't seem to do much, aside from roar and attempt to crush him with a massive hoof every time it got close. He came to the outskirts of the city – he was running out of room to run, and while the giant changeling didn't have wings, it could probably improvise. And suddenly, the answer came to him. Strangely enough, it came in the form of a Disney movie – an impossible adversary, and only one viable weapon. Mulan, the time she faced an army of Mongolians, and defeated them all by causing an avalanche. Jeremy looked around. Well, he _was_ on a mountain…

Jeremy pulled out his rocket launcher. Would one rocket even do it? He didn't know anything about the weak points of a mountain, or how to go about specifically causing avalanches. His deal was chemistry, video games, and guns. Not… this. As he ran up and down the winding cliffsides of the back of Canterlot Mountain, he looked around. Nothing to either side of him. The changeling was right behind him now, and probably about to corner him. Jeremy certainly couldn't use any part of the mountain below where he was, he knew that much. The giant slowed its pace, presumably closing in for the kill. Jeremy did the only thing he could, and looked up. Initially finding nothing, he desperately scoured the mountaintop with his eyes for something, anything that could help him. To his amazement, there was something there. An overhang of rock, almost directly above them. Some yellow caution tape, old and fading, was fluttering in a mild breeze. Jeremy took aim and fired. The changeling, thinking Jeremy was attempting to hit him, sprang backward, and out of the way. The rocket hit, and at first nothing happened. Jeremy closed his eyes – he didn't want to watch himself die. But then, he heard an enormous, rumbling crack – and the overhang dropped. The giant changeling looked up, almost stupidly fascinated by the tons of rock bearing down on it, and was promptly smacked in the face by a decently sized chunk. Dazed, it stumbled backwards.

Right off the cliff.

/{end}

Jeremy looked over the edge of the precipice, hardly believing his luck. The changeling was down there, alright – buried under a few tons of freshly broken mountain. It didn't look like it was getting up soon, possibly ever. Jeremy swallowed, and sat down, taking a few deep breaths. He was interrupted after a minute by another huge boulder crashing down next to him, reminding him that this area was no longer safe. He looked up to see if there were any more coming – and then promptly looked left, puzzled. The boulder that had just landed right next to him had gone straight through the ground, and evidently opened an entrance to some cave or something. He was about to leave, and simply note the interesting occurrence, when a familiar hiss came echoing out of the cave mouth. Jeremy looked back at the city, then back into the cave. He took out his rifle, biting his lip and trying to decide. Well, he did make a promise… Reluctantly, he started climbing down into the cave opening.

9-15-13, 12:56 A.M.

/{Black Mesa OST – Surface Tension 4}

As Jeremy climbed down, his eyes slowly adjusted, and he became aware of a vast expanse of crystal. In fact, the entire cave itself seemed to be a never-ending network of semi-reflective, translucent facets. The music from his speakers filled the cave, echoing curiously – and to Jeremy, unwantedly. Surprise attacks didn't work when you can be located by the music you're listening to. Thankfully, the echoes were so omnipresent they nearly obscured the original source – although he couldn't count on that. There were a few changelings around the next corner – easily taken care of. Thankfully, the cave didn't branch off in all directions – in fact, it was fairly linear, as though some unseen force had taken great care to carve out a perfectly faceted crystal path, just for him. Odd.

Jeremy reflected on how common all the gems and gold were here. So far, the quality seemed good, and he was tempted to take some of the smaller pieces that had chipped or broken off over the centuries. However, utility won out over fascination, and he decided to leave them be. Perhaps he'd come back for them later. Then again, maybe not – he'd probably forget. His train of thought was interrupted when a changeling shot him in the back of the head, the bullet getting stuck in one of the many air holes drilled out the backside of the quartz dome. Aggravated at this distraction, Jeremy returned fire, and the changeling went down quickly. He then turned around to where he had been facing, and kept walking.

This continued for a short while – changelings would attempt to 'surprise' him, only to find that ambushes didn't work very well when one had a bulletproof suit. One even tried to bite him – after it latched on, Jeremy hurriedly shook it off. The suit was resistant to biting due to the anti-tear fabric, but what else were you supposed to do when something that big tries to take a chunk out of you? He examined the suit for puncture marks. Finding none, he winced at the twin quarter-inch bruises he'd be adding to his collection and moved on. Just as the music was finishing up, Jeremy heard a voice monologuing to itself. Due to the echoes, he couldn't quite place who it was. He walked towards the area of the cave where it was coming from, seemingly no different than the rest of the place.

/end

"Hello? Is someone there?" The voice asked falteringly. It sounded though she had been crying for hours. In response, Jeremy knocked on the cave wall three times, partly to give her a signal and partly to check if it was fake or some other such trick. To his dismay, it was solid stone. "Are you a friend?" Cadance asked – he could tell who it was now that he was this close, and was relieved to have actually found her. One more promise to mark off the list.

Should he talk? Sure, why not – it'd sound weird considering the sound could only vibrate out the back end of his helmet, but she would probably hear him – plus, there was no one around. "Hi." Jeremy answered. "Yes, I'm a friend. Can you hear me?" he asked in return.

"Yes, of course – the stone between us is porous. Can you get me out of here?" Cadance pleaded. Jeremy considered. He took out his metal pipe, which had been unused in quite a while and was now covered in dry, flaking changeling blood, and whacked the stone wall as hard as he could. Unsurprisingly, the crystalline wall was unaffected. He puzzled over how to get her free for a short while. "Are you still there?" Cadance questioned.

"Yes, just… figuring this out. Is there a space for you to get out of the way of this stone wall?" He listened as Cadance sounded as if she was shuffling around her confinement.

"Yes, there's a small niche that I can crawl into. Are you going to break the door down?" she asked.

"Not quite," Jeremy answered, taking out his rocket launcher.

He fired, and Cadance briefly screamed in terror as the odd crystal wall was blown to pieces, right into her room. Finding herself unhurt, she walked out and bowed to him. "Thank you, kind… stranger?" She had evidently noticed his alien appearance, from his bubble-head and burlap-like suit to his human characteristics.

Jeremy sighed, noticing her discomfort. "Can we just move past the fact that I'm an alien?" he irritatedly asked. After a moment, Cadance regained her composure.

"Of course. Lead on, then." Jeremy laughed and continued down the direction he had been taking.

"I have no idea where I'm headed, just so you know," he commented. Cadance smirked and followed.

A few moments later, they came to an unpassable drop. "I can fly across this. What about you, do you have wings?" Cadance thought aloud. Jeremy shook his head, looking around for some kind of solution.

"I'm definitely too heavy for you to carry," he muttered. "And I don't have anything to cross with… wait! I might have an idea," he exclaimed while looking up at the roof of the cave. Stalactites littered the ceiling, huge and dripping occasionally. Taking out his rocket launcher again, he attempted to hit one right above them. It fell down, and the tip snapped off when it hit their ledge. Jeremy hurriedly went over to it, and pushed with all his might – after a split second's hesitation, Cadance helped. Together, they had just enough strength to push it towards the pit – only to find that it was just barely too short. It toppled down the hole, and Jeremy glared down. "Damn," he swore. "Thought that would work."

Cadance searched the ceiling. "Try that one," she said, pointing it out – it was the biggest one on the ceiling.

"You sure? We could barely manage the last one," Jeremy noted. Cadance frowned, considering this. While she thought, Jeremy went over to the nearest wall and slid down it. All this lack of eating and exercise was starting to catch up to him… he felt a bit lightheaded.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

9-15-13, 1:32 A.M.

After zoning out for a bit, Jeremy achingly got up and looked over at Cadance to find her still puzzling how to get him across. Jeremy looked around – maybe stalactites weren't the answer. Was he sure there was nothing else to get across? He looked over the edge. A few feet down, there was another ledge which led to a wall, thinning out considerably. Patches were missing entirely, gone from years of friction and gravity taking their toll. Jeremy shuddered – it would be instant death if he were to make one mistake there. He looked elsewhere. Nothing of use. "I have an idea, but it's risky, and you might get a little hurt," Cadance said, catching his attention.

"Pain is nothing new for me, at this point. What's your idea?" Jeremy asked, curious.

"While I can't fly or teleport you across, it would take significantly less magic to launch you across. However, if I aim wrong… you might end up with a broken bone. …Say, do you even have bones?" Jeremy, taken by surprise, chuckled.

"Yeah, we have an endoskeleton. Pretty similar to yours, I'd wager." Cadance smiled at this answer.

Jeremy curled up into a ball, evidently ready to be thrown. With some effort, Cadance levitated him into the air, and almost passing out herself, managed to launch him. Unfortunately, she had put a bit more into the spell than she needed – Jeremy would smack into the far wall at this rate. He quickly uncurled and twisted around, so that his padded back would hit the wall rather than his slightly less padded front. Thankfully, human backs had significantly fewer nerve endings than human fronts, and all he felt was a jarring thump. He slid down the wall, and rolled as he got to the bottom. After a moment of shock, he stood up. "Good throw!" he yelled across the chasm. Cadance, seemingly exhausted, picked herself up and weakly smiled. She jumped out into the pit, and spreading her wings, easily flew across. After she landed, they looked for an exit.

Cadance looked over at Jeremy. "Hey, are you okay? You look a bit paler than when I saw you first." Jeremy, zoned out again, took a moment to respond.

"Yeah… I haven't eaten in a while…" he answered. Cadance immediately looked sympathetic.

"I'll find you something when we get up there," Cadance asserted. Jeremy grinned weakly in thanks. He could feel a migraine coming on, and the hunger pangs just wouldn't leave. "Say, what _do_ you eat?" Cadance asked.

"Normally, both plants and animals," Jeremy said, but when he saw the shocked look on her face he quickly backpedaled. "But I'd be perfectly okay with just plants. Whatever you can find, really – I'm not too picky at the moment." Cadance agreed, and they went back to searching for an exit.

9-15-13, 1:47 A.M.

"Hey, is that a hole in the ceiling, or a trick of the light?" Jeremy asked, pointing at a shining pinprick among the scattered, smaller stalactites that made up this side of the roof of the cave. Cadance examined it.

"Maybe. But how would we get up there? We had enough trouble getting across a pit, let alone through the ceiling," she responded.

Jeremy frowned. "What if we piled rubble up to the hole entrance?" Cadance shook her head.

"One slip or misfire of that weapon of yours and we're both buried alive or worse." She casted about for other potential solutions. "Hey, there's an old abandoned mining cart track here," she called over. Jeremy went over to look at it. He examined the track – it was relatively straight.

"You think we could rip this off the floor?" he asked. Cadance nodded, and used her magic to easily lift a section of it off.

"They just come right off, for maintenance," she explained.

"How do you know?" Jeremy asked curiously.

"I run an empire made out of crystals – mining's a big part of our economy," Cadance answered.

They began piling up pieces of track, Cadance lifting them out of their places and levitating them over to Jeremy, who pieced them together on the floor again. Eventually, they had a ladder that was just a bit longer than they needed. Jeremy used a rocket to blast the hole a little wider, and Cadance propped the impromptu ladder up against one corner of the cave floor and the newly created hole in the ceiling. After checking that it was stable, Jeremy quickly scampered up the ladder, and Cadance flew up to join him in the sunshine.

9-15-13, 2:00 A.M.

They looked around. They were just outside the castle wall, in a rocky area. The castle doors were closed, and changelings were audibly inside. Jeremy nodded at Cadance. "Go find Shining Armor," he said.

"We still have to get you some food!" Cadance reminded him. Oh yeah, Jeremy thought. He had been sufficiently distracted by the ladder-building to temporarily forget his hunger pangs. Thankfully, the area just outside the castle walls was such prime real estate that it was almost entirely devoted to restaurants and shops, so Cadance and Jeremy wandered into the first one they saw – a bakery.

"Sugar, just what I needed," Jeremy happily commented as he loaded up on cookies and pastries. Cadance raised an eyebrow.

"You seem to have quite the sweet tooth," she remarked.

"Oh, yeah – these are better than the ones on Earth," he replied, lost in chocolate chip heaven.

They then gathered some vegetables and fruits from the other assorted shops, Cadance promising to pay for them, until Jeremy was satisfied he had made up for the 2 mealtimes (and sleep) he had missed. The whole process took about 5 minutes, as Jeremy was still pretty hungry and both recognized that they were in a hurry. "Thanks for that," Jeremy said as he finished.

"You're quite welcome – I have the feeling you're going to need the energy," Cadance said as she left. "I'm off to find my husband – best of luck in your future endeavors!" Jeremy nodded in reply and put his plate back on the counter. He took out his rifle, and strode off in the opposite direction, towards the castle wall.

How the hell was he going to get past this? So far he'd been pretty lax with the rocket launcher, and it occurred to him that it was probably difficult to regenerate the ammo – laser tracking circuits were kind of complex. Plus, it was vandalism – so, no on the rocket launcher. He came up to the wall itself, and examined it closely. It was a solid, smooth wall, so climbing was also not an option. He looked back towards the hole he'd crawled out of. The ladder was still visible, a foot or so poking out of the ground. Jeremy walked over to it, and attempted to pull it over. He gave up after a few tries, panting – way too heavy, and he had a terrible vantage point. Plus, the ground here was starting to cave in from his earlier enthusiasm with the rockets – he quickly stepped off the rocks and back onto the much safer grass. He decided to go over to the door. There was a massive stone door here, also unsuitable for climbing. Jeremy reflected on how difficult it was to invade castles.

So now what? He was pretty much out of options – nothing he could do was safe or stood a decent chance of succeeding. He circled around the wall, annoyed._ I didn't come this far to be stopped by a stupid stone wall_, he thought angrily. Still circling around, he came across some trebuchets, easily half the size of the wall. He looked at them. A plan formed in his mind…

Of course, it would have been tempting to launch himself into the air with the trebuchet – but whether he would survive such an impact, he was inclined to doubt. Instead, he grabbed a jagged stone from nearby and used it to hack at the rope attaching the arm to the body, eventually severing it. Grunting with effort, he then pushed the wheels of the trebuchet so that it was right up against the wall. Finally, he pushed the arm so that it touched the very top of the wall, and stopped a moment to sweat ._So, that solves getting up_, he thought. _But how am I to get down_? _Maybe they have stairs_? He got up again and started climbing up the trebuchet.

As Jeremy finally reached the top, he was greeted by two changelings pointing their guns at him and hissing. Jeremy grinned, and gestured for them to go ahead and fire. Without waiting for an answer, he shoved them aside and ran, taking out his rifle. Turning back, he gave them a sarcastic wave before shooting both of them to the ground. He then strode off along the top of the wall.

He didn't get far before something hit his helmet – this time with enough force to jar it. Jeremy looked around to see a changeling with a long-barreled rifle aiming at him… a sniper! He ducked and wove, seeking cover – it looked like his helmet had a few cracks in it from that last one. A few more rounds came his way, but thankfully didn't hit him. Finally, there were stairs to the ground, and Jeremy took them three at a time. He sprinted towards the sniper, still weaving and ducking until he was right below them. Taking out his rifle, he greeted the barrel pointing straight down at him with a hail of bullets, causing the sniper to jerk back – and drop his weapon. The sniper rifle clattered down to the floor. Jeremy glanced up at the changeling, who raised his front hooves shakingly in a gesture of surrender. Jeremy neatly picked up the sniper rifle and shot the changeling in the forehead – an easy shot, considering its window was only ten feet up. It slumped halfway out the window, unmoving, and Jeremy shot it again for good measure. He then stashed the sniper rifle in his extradimensional pocket – he wasn't too good with scoped rifles, but the extra firepower could come in handy – plus, this way the changelings wouldn't get it back.

His trek through the castle was uneventful – he wandered the castle hallways, shooting any changelings he found. The infrared glasses helped immensely here, for the changelings were almost always disguising themselves as random high-society ponies when they weren't trying to shoot him. As he wandered about, Jeremy became aware of the similarity between what he was doing now and what he had done – these corridors were beginning to look like his high school. Shaking his head to clear it, he strode onward, his suit covered in a fresh coat of greenish changeling blood.

A particular corridor was deserted entirely, with a piece of paper taped to the wall. Jeremy read it, frowning as he did so. It read "_This way! ~Luna_", and was stamped with her mark. He shrugged and walked down the corridor, wondering if it was simply directions to where she was or another cool new weapon. He was therefore actually surprised when changelings swarmed in from all directions – perhaps forty or so were occupying the corridor, from both ends. Without waiting, they immediately unleashed a hailstorm of bullets, and after a moment's panic, Jeremy returned fire. The bullets quickly started stinging, and the mob of changelings pressed forward. Furious at being ambushed, Jeremy put away his rifle and took out his steel pipe as they pressed closer and closer…

When he was done, he had a pile of beaten changelings almost halfway up the wall. Many were moaning in pain, and he kicked them until they stopped. He was reluctant to keep hurting them, but he was pretty angry that they'd manage to trick him so stupidly. Also, it was important he show them no mercy, as it might make them think they could exploit his sympathy. He had also gone back to being mute, as he had an idea for when he faced Chrysalis.

Unsurprisingly, the long hallway he had picked led to a dead end. Jeremy took out his rifle once more, this time prepared. As he walked back, his eye was caught by a sign saying "Kitchen". More food? He could always use a bit more. He walked in, and was surprised by the spacious accommodation. Clearly, this was meant to be staffed by a few tens of people – ponies, he mentally corrected. It had also been abandoned before being used, and to his dismay most of the food stores had been ransacked and ruined already.

He discovered a loaf of bread that was untouched, and bit into it, looking around the room. He found a small, cabinet-shaped indentation in the wall, almost like a chimney with a compartment inside of it and no flue vent. What was this? It was something important, he thought. He looked around, and found what appeared to be an order list from yesterday. He read down the list. "_Deliver marzipan cake directly up dumbwaiter to throne room._" That was it – it was a dumbwaiter! They used to be used in old-fashioned houses to escort items and food around the house conveniently – and this one was just barely big enough for him to fit inside of. Good thing he was pretty scrawny. Plus, he could reach and use the rope from here… But wait, there was a lever just outside of it. Maybe it was automatic? Jeremy crammed himself into the tight space and began readying himself for the throne room – that had to be where Chrysalis was.

Jeremy took the time to reload all of his weapons with full clips, brush off the dust, dirt and blood from his suit, and arrange himself into a comfortable position – he needed to be able to get out quickly. He fidgeted and shoved, until he was in a very cramped but suitable position, and finished the loaf of bread. For a moment, he was tempted to just go to sleep, but he firmly and angrily reminded himself that he had a job to finish. Jeremy pulled the lever, and the dumbwaiter's cabinet began slowly rising, silently traversing up the secret chimney.

**A/N: An entire chapter without any music? Don't worry, I'll make up for it in the next one.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

9-15-13, 2:34 A.M.

/{Black Mesa OST – We've Got Hostiles}

Well, here he was. Final battle – unless something else came up. It'd be hilarious if this didn't open into the throne room, for instance, or if the throne room was not where Celestia and Luna were being kept. Jeremy briefly reflected on this, readying himself anyway. This was not going to be easy...

As soon as the doors open, he burst out and quickly began shooting changelings, the muzzle fire echoing loudly in the spacious chamber. Chrysalis, immediately noticing him, shouted at her changelings inside the room to attack. Celestia, Luna, Twilight and her friends were all trapped in the green sacs he had first seen, unable to move. Plenty of high-society ponies were trapped as well, presumably to be Chrysalis' first victims. Thankfully, all the changelings were at the door, guarding it, so he didn't have to worry much about aiming until they started flying around the place. He was sure he hit the stained-glass windows once or twice, but they seemed to hold – probably enchanted. Seeing that he was too accurate for flying tactics to work, the changelings instead decided to swarm him up close. Switching to his metal pipe, Jeremy began bashing their heads in – and because this was his last fight, he was executing some truly forceful swipes at their heads and spinal areas. He didn't even notice the bullets anymore – his entire body had become such a stinging mass of bruises that he doubted he'd ever notice pain again. All he concentrated on was destroying every changeling within reach.

Finally, they had all slumped to the ground, unconscious. Chrysalis sprang off Celestia's throne and stalked forward, furious. Jeremy remained silent, took out his shotgun, and began firing at her. To his surprise, a green sphere of energy deflected the bullets. Chrysalis grinned in satisfaction, and began firing what seemed like bolts of energy at him. Jeremy was now on the defensive. He ducked and rolled until one finally connected with his foot, and he was blown backwards to the opposite wall. Choking a bit due to having the wind knocked out of him, he ignored the signals from his spine and front and charged forward again, a double-barrel blast exploding out the shotgun and once again hitting the energy sphere. Was it just him, or did it seem to flicker a bit this time? As Jeremy reloaded, Chrysalis managed to connect another bolt of energy, this time directly to the chest, and Jeremy flew backward again, hitting a pillar.

Quickly reorienting himself, he sprang forward off the pillar and issued another double report directly on top of the sphere, which seemed to crack before breaking. He then switched to his metal pipe once more. Chrysalis, visibly furious at losing her protection, grabbed him – she was way stronger than her looks suggested! – and threw him behind her, turning around to face him. Glasses half off, Jeremy didn't get up, only barely conscious. Chrysalis grinned again and moved in, presumably for the kill. Jeremy jerked his head up. "Hey _love-bug_!" he yelled.

Shocked, Chrysalis stepped back. "…You can _speak_?" she falteringly stuttered.

"Yep." Jeremy answered as he sprang up and delivered three quick blows to the head with his pipe – one to the left of her face, one to her right, and a final one straight down the middle. Chrysalis tottered backwards a little, before finally slumping backwards, down for the count.

/{end}

Jeremy stood there for a moment, his brain still processing what he had just done – and finally processing what he'd been doing for the past 6 hours. Then, he snapped back to reality and noticed the green sacs attached to the ceiling and walls – these he set about removing. As soon as he shot Luna's off the ceiling, she broke free, and flew down. "Thou hast done it!" she happily exclaimed. With a well-placed rifle shot, Celestia flew down as well, merely nodding at him. Jeremy nodded back, and used his pipe to break open Twilight and her friends' imprisoning spheres of green gel. Just as he broke the last one, his body suddenly decided to remind him that he was exhausted, severely injured, and shaking from adrenaline. All at once. Jeremy slumped forward, blacking out.

9-16-13, 4:22 P.M.

Jeremy woke up in a hospital bed. He looked down at himself. His suit was off, and aside from his dark green pajama pants and white bedshirt, he wasn't attached to or wearing anything else. Briefly checking, it appeared he was once again fully healed – no bruises, bite marks, blood or otherwise. He slowly got up, his spine cracking like an artillery cannon, and swung his legs over the side of the bed, surprising himself when he found the floor was only a foot down. Jeremy got up, groaning, and opened the door.

Outside the hospital, he could see Canterlot. Ponies were out and about, repairing the damage from the invasion or simply socializing outside the destroyed remains of their favorite restaurants or shops. Jeremy briefly wondered what insurance was like here. He stared outside for a little while, and then headed down the hospital corridor to find someone to talk to. He figured he was free to roam, as he hadn't been hooked up to an IV or saline drip or anything (not that they would have similar enough blood to give him). Venturing downstairs and ducking to avoid the low ceiling, he found a cafeteria with various ponies who immediately stared up at him. Jeremy gave them a tired smile and a brief wave before moving on. He got a fruit salad and peanut butter sandwich before heading over to the lone unoccupied table. This was a common habit for him, unless his best friends were there – talking and eating didn't mix in his opinion, nor did casual icebreakers with either of the two. To his satisfaction, not a single pony had the courage to head back to his table. After he finished eating, he headed to the front office and asked to check out, as he felt fine. After some reluctance, the pony at the desk agreed, and he walked out the front door.

Jeremy's new plan was to leave – he'd probably be arrested or vilified for mass violence and slaughter if he stayed, and he didn't want to be missing from his home planet for extended periods of time – he had crimes to answer for there as well. There would be international media attention to the killing sprees he had committed, and he had better face the music rather than disappearing. Plus, there was the show to consider. That all of Twilight and her friends had been in the same place at once almost guaranteed attention from the fourth wall – though he had no idea if they would allow the episode to be aired. Best not to risk any more surprise appearances. Thus, he set off for Ponyville.

Ordinarily, Jeremy wouldn't venture out into public in his pajamas – but then again, ponies here didn't seem to wear clothes at all, except out of fashion. He walked down the streets of Canterlot, thanking the hospital for leaving his shoes on. As he went, he picked out all the landmarks of the previous day. The hole to the caves. The street where he had fought off the changeling. The street where he had fought off the gunships. The day care he had mercilessly defended. It seemed he was going through the battle in reverse order. Finally, he came to the trainstation.

Feeling very out of place, he attempted to board a train. Initially, the pony handing out tickets was very reluctant to give him one, especially for free. However, they were interrupted in their haggling when a familiar train conductor ran over and paid for him. Jeremy thanked him, and got on the train, surprised that everyone was being so generous. On the train, he immediately went out onto the back balcony so he could watch Canterlot recede into the distance.

The train ride was uneventful – nobody came out to talk to him, and that was just the way he liked it. Jeremy was heavily asocial – not antisocial. He simply wasn't very interested in going out of his way to make a bunch of friends, instead preferring to keep a close-knit circle of best friends and a few others. He got off the train, and realized he'd left all the guns with the suit. Oh well – birthday present for Luna. He felt bad for leaving Luna without any kind of note or anything, but figured she probably didn't want to actually get to know him, having just befriended him for use in that war. Or maybe that was just a justification? Jeremy didn't know. She hadn't been hanging around the hospital, so she couldn't have been all that interested.

/{Black Mesa OST – Unforeseen Consequences}

He traveled the streets of Ponyville, noting that the green, slimy substance that was the hallmark of changeling occupation was still being carted out of the town jail. The sun had gone down a few minutes ago, causing Jeremy to jump at the sudden lack of light. He shook it off and continued. Not far now…

He traipsed out into the square, searching for the green portal. It took a few seconds for him to realize that it would probably have been taken down. Well. Shoot… what now? He aimlessly wandered around the square, trying to think.

/{end}

Jeremy jumped about a foot when Luna's voice sounded out right behind him. "And what art thou doing out in the night?" He turned around to see her casually leaning on a floating dark cloud.

"I… uh… Jeremy stammered, all the reasons in his head unable to make their way to his vocal cords.

Luna cocked an eyebrow. "We suppose we should 'come clean' – we have been reading your mind for quite some time now," she stated. That shut him up quickly. "Do not worry, we did not pry. We only ever listened to what thou had been thinking at the time." Luna explained. Jeremy relaxed. There were some things he didn't want anyone to know, let alone Princess Luna.

"So… how did you know where I was when you sent me that rocket launcher?" Jeremy asked in return, as they walked back to the train station.

Luna blushed a little. "We… _may_ have also turned your helmet into a makeshift crystal ball, with recording properties… We hope you do not mind?"

Jeremy thought a bit. "Does this mean you have a video recording of the whole thing?" Luna nodded. "Well, at least I won't forget anything…" Jeremy grumbled.

"Why didst thou run, anyway?" Luna queried, having teleported them both in front of the castle.

"A few reasons…" Jeremy mumbled. When Luna merely raised an eyebrow at him, he explained. "First, I was afraid I'd be arrested for violence if I stayed – ponies don't really see what I did all that often. Second, I've got unfinished business back home. Third…" He lowered his voice. "I very seriously do not want to be seen on the show." Luna nodded, understanding.

"We think now would be a good time to inform you that you are largely considered a hero amongst the general populace." Jeremy was surprised enough to raise both eyebrows.

"Really? Everyone's been avoiding me all day, except for a few." Luna laughed.

"They were not _afraid_ of thou – or at least, not in the way thou were thinking of. They were _shy_, because thou were such a hero!"

Jeremy blushed. "Come on, I wasn't _that_ good."

Luna rolled her eyes as they went through a network of towers, all very grandiose with flags and gold- and silver-burnished rooftops. She stopped at one labeled '907'. "We have decided to accommodate thou in these quarters… if thou art willing to stay?" she asked. Jeremy reconsidered.

"Would it be possible to send me back in time or something if I ever need to return home? I don't want to have 'disappeared' for a while…"

Luna nodded. "Certainly."

Jeremy smiled. "Then sure, I guess I can hang around for a while."

Luna returned his smile. "Excellent. In that case… We would very much like to invite you to a special ball tomorrow night. Wouldst thou be interested?" She pulled a brochure out of seemingly thin air and handed it to him. Jeremy took it and read.

"Hmm. Sure, I guess – I hope it's not too 'high-society' like that Gala."

Luna chuckled. "It is much less formal that that – it's a night for ponies to 'let their hair down', so to speak. Jeremy looked up at Luna's hair as they climbed up the stairs to his suite.

"So, does that mean you're going to make your hair obey the laws of gravity?" He was rewarded by Luna's delighted laughter.

As they stepped into his room, Jeremy noticed the lack of a lock. "What, no security?" Luna nodded.

"We do not have much crime, and it is almost never petty theft." Jeremy shrugged, and checked out his bed. It was very posh, and the mattress was huge. He sat down on it, and was surprised when it was cool and soft.

"Wow. This is… way better than the beds back home," he appraised.

"Pegasus down," Luna explained. Jeremy smiled appreciatively.

"One more thing: Where do I get some clothes? I can't go around in the same pair of pajamas all day," he asked.

"What are 'pajamas'?" Luna asked, and Jeremy quickly explained. "Ah. It should not be too hard to commission new clothing for you – I will do so immediately. Incidentally… do your kind wear clothes constantly?"

Jeremy nodded. "Another cultural thing. I could go into the meanings behind it, but that would be really boring. Also, don't ask Rarity about the clothes – you remember why, right?" Luna nodded, and left to go find a tailor.

As Jeremy took off his clothes and got into the shower, he started humming. Finally, as the hot water crashed over him, the humming gave way to singing "Fireflies" by Owl City – one of the few songs that didn't make him want to punch anyone. Then again, Owl City was particularly good at calming him down. As he sang, he became aware that he was perfectly on pitch, tone, and harmony – in fact, he was singing as though he were in choir. Jeremy was tempted to stop and question this, but decided to roll with it – he didn't want to spoil it if it was a one-time thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

By the time Jeremy woke up and went outside, he noticed a fresh stack of clothes had been deposited at his front door. Skipping breakfast, he tried them on, noticing that they fit extremely well, on top of being comfortable and easy to wear. At around noon, he went down to find some lunch. To his surprise, the stores refused payment. "On us," they would often claim. He politely thanked them, and went on his way.

As he walked along, he wondered about hanging out with Luna, now that he intended to stay in Equestria for some unknown amount of time. She was evidently only awake during the night, so would he have to adjust his sleep schedule? Hmm. If he slept from midnight to noon, that would give him an equal time for each day, as Luna officially raised the moon around 6 P.M., and lowered it around 6 A.M. Of course, it wasn't like he was busy. Jeremy decided to change that.

9-17-13, 8:42 P.M.

When next Luna visited Jeremy's apartment, he was clearly busy. The skritch-skratch of a pencil on paper could be heard, and the desk he was sitting at was cluttered with drawings and notes. She walked over and examined some of them. "Those aren't current," Jeremy pointed out.

As Luna studied the diagrams, she smirked. "Thou art drawing up thy video games' weapons?"

Jeremy nodded. "I might as well do something while I'm here, and I like to build things."

Luna seemed to consider this. "Well, these are certainly… interesting… although I don't think even a miniature black hole could be contained like this."

Jeremy frowned. "Yeah, I know. It'd take some serious magic, and even then, what would prevent it from simply collapsing? It'd have to be fed something… Not to mention that it would have to shoot bits of itself." Luna studied the diagram.

"We believe there may be some related research at the Royal Canterlot Library in the Physics section – why don't thou look there?"

Jeremy was about to agree, then stopped himself. "Don't I need permission to be in there?" he asked.

Luna laughed. "And who would give permission?"

Jeremy blushed. "Right. Well, I'll check it out."

As Luna was about to leave, Jeremy remembered something. "Hey, Luna?"

She turned around. "Yes?" Jeremy thought about how best to ask.

"I was wondering… do you know where I could get a job? I'd like to not be a freeloader, if that's at all possible."

Luna considered for a while. "We think we have just the one. Give us a day or so to confirm with our sister, but we think thou will like it." With that, she trotted away. Jeremy wondered what the job could be, but decided to worry about it later – he had some blueprints to draw.

9-17-13, 9:34 P.M.

The library, at least, was easy to find. It was inside the castle walls, up a few staircases, easily marked by its large glass ceiling. As Jeremy walked in, he nodded at the librarian, who after a moment's hesitation nodded back. It was nighttime, so while the library was still very active, it was not crowded. Jeremy made his way over to the nonfiction section, and searched up and down the aisles until he came to a physics section. From there, he found a book on black holes, another on teleportation, and a third on alternative methods of magical transportation. Satisfied for now, he checked the books out and left.

Given that the ball was at 10:00, he had just enough time to speedwalk back to his apartment, drop off the books, and set off again. He slowly made his way to the location, and once he got there he saw that it was easily the busiest place around. He got into the line, and when he got to the front, the bouncer asked him for a ticket. "I was not given one," Jeremy said slowly.

"Wait… you're the human, right?" the bouncer asked. Jeremy nodded.

"My mistake, go right ahead," the bouncer replied smoothly, and Jeremy shrugged and walked in. As he went, he noticed that the place had been decked out to give a sense of romanticism – heart-shaped pillows, pink and red light fixtures, and so on. He found the stage, and noted that the audience area included what appeared to be a bar. He took a seat at the bar, feeling distinctly out of place _and _underage, and examined the menu posted behind the counter on the wall. To his surprise, it was fairly tame stuff, such as bagels and grape juice. Jeremy still wanted to pay for things, so he refused to order.

It was only when a sibylline male voice pushed a glass of fruit punch at him, apparently on them, that he reluctantly accepted. Jeremy then did a double take – _Discord_ was sitting next to him. "Why are you here?" Jeremy asked warily.

"Oh, so you've heard of me! Good, good. As for why I'm here… well, surely you know what this night is_for_?" Discord asked, with the air of one about to drop the nuclear bombshell of a lifetime. Jeremy shook his head, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Oh my, Luna told you nothing? Well, I don't see any harm in spoiling it prematurely – this is a _couple's night_ karaoke. You know, the style where one _asks out _the other in song?" Jeremy began blushing furiously – why did Luna invite him to this? "And, my, who could be on the singing list?" Jeremy seriously hoped it wasn't him – he was _not_ prepared for this. "Why, good old Princess Luna!" Discord continued mercilessly. "Of course, she hasn't sung for anypony in a thousand years or so due to that whole Nightmare Moon debacle, but hey, maybe she'll finally pick somepony. Ta ta, enjoy the punch!" And with that, Discord disappeared in a flash of pink, choking smoke.

Surely, Discord had been kidding. He and Luna hardly knew eachother! Sure, they were developing friends, but Jeremy felt this would be going a little too fast. As he waved away the smoke, Princess Cadance took a seat next to him. "What was that all about?" she asked.

"Discord," Jeremy coughed by way of explanation. Cadance wisely nodded and blew away the rest of the smoke with a flap of wings. "So…" Jeremy casted about for some form of conversation. "You must have thought me pretty gluttonous last time we met," he nervously laughed.

Cadance giggled. "Not really. Luna told me how long it'd been since you last ate, it's perfectly understandable."

Jeremy chuckled. "Yeah… probably should've packed some _food_ instead of the medical supplies."

From there, they discussed the various aspects of cleaning up after the war. "The cleanup effort seems to be going pretty well, and I've stayed behind to help, as well as for this night. It's my favorite night of the season!" Cadance excitedly proclaimed. This only confirmed Jeremy's half-dread, half-anticipation.

"…Say, whatever did happen to Chrysalis?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Oh,_ she's_ in the dungeon. She'll have a trial, and be appropriately punished." Cadance said. From the look on her face at the mention of Queen Chrysalis, Jeremy didn't really want to press the matter further.

"So, why is this your favorite night?" Jeremy asked.

"Because, all these ponies falling in love, and I don't even have to help them along. It's great!" Cadance said, beaming.

"How even does your magic work? I know how love works in the brain, but does your spell excite just the right neuroreceptors, or what?" Jeremy asked, scientifically interested.

Cadance thought for a while. "That's one way of putting it – as far as I know, I just mix the love in my own body with a little magic and send it out." Jeremy nodded appreciatively, as this knowledge might come in handy later. He was about to say something else, but at that moment the lights dimmed and the stage brightened. A very formally dressed mare slowly walked out, picking up the microphone.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the two hundred and twenty-fifth annual Couples' Night Karaoke, Day One. Joining us today are…" she pulled out a list of names and read down, without once stopping for breath. Thankfully, the list was fairly short, but Princess Luna was near the end of the list. So Discord wasn't kidding, Jeremy thought. Does she really mean something by this, or am I just reading too far into it?

The first singer went up on stage, a colt with a brown coat, yellow hair and blue eyes. Jeremy examined the line of ponies waiting to sing – Luna was curiously missing from her place. On the other hand, this pony had a beautiful voice as he sang lustily about a certain fair maiden – who, judging from the teary-eyes and cheering, was somewhere in the middle. Cadance was watching with a faraway expression on her face.

As the list progressed, Jeremy got more and more concerned. _All_ the ponies had great singing voices – yet they surely couldn't all be professional singers. He reflected back to the times he had hummed and sang while he was here – he'd been nothing short of perfect, each time. What was up with that? He'd ask Cadance or Luna after the performances were finished.

Finally, it was Luna's turn to sing. Luna walked on from backstage, and Jeremy skipped a beat. She was wearing her hair in a classic ponytail – still not quite normal for hair, but it was certainly obeying the laws of gravity – and he could tell she did that just to mess with him. Jeremy adopted a casual expression and began to take a sip of the fruit punch.

_"__I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me – I'll never tell…"_

Jeremy's hand froze halfway to his mouth. No way. _No way_. Was he hearing right? Luna caught his eyes, and winked at him. Next thing he knew, he was sitting right at the front as she continued to sing. Jeremy watched, unsure of how to react. On one side of his brain, his sarcastic demeanor was more vitriolic than ever. _Of course you should have seen this coming_. _You're a_ hero, _her new best friend, and all that_. On the other, his realism was kicking him something fierce. _Her? Wanting_ you? _Ridiculous_. _She's a _princess. _She has anyone on the planet to choose from – what are the odds of her choosing a violent alien who happened to help her once_? Luna continued singing as ever, but seemed to be glancing concernedly at him every once in a while. Jeremy, after quieting his inner voices, went back to paying attention and gave her the thumbs up. At the very least, he could rate her performance truthfully – if he were blind, he'd swear on oath that Carly Rae herself was right in front of him.

Luna finished her serenade, and stepped right off the stage in front of him. "So, how was that?" she asked._Do it_, his sarcastic voice prompted. _Don't do it!_ his realistic one pleaded. Ah, to hell with it, Jeremy decided, and immediately hugged her. "That was the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life," he said to the audience at large, who burst into applause.

Luna returned the hug, and to his shock, kissed him on the cheek. "We're glad you enjoyed it…" she said.

Jeremy looked around at the crowd, who was watching them expectantly. _Oh, right. This is the part where you ask._ Jeremy cleared his throat. "Luna… would you like to be my girlfriend?" A few hollers were quickly quieted.

Luna looked up at him, eye-to-eye. "Yes… we have decided. You are the one we want." Once again, the entire audience burst into applause, in the traditional pony way of stamping their hooves, and Jeremy was reminded of how odd this was for high society.

As Luna had been near the bottom of the list, the rest of the songs went quickly. As Luna and Jeremy filed out of the seating area, Cadance gave them a wink and a nod, and Jeremy, after some hesitation, returned the nod. "So… art thou in the mood for a surprise?" Luna asked. Jeremy raised an eyebrow and nodded.

Luna led Jeremy to an office complex, inside a door that was labeled "Research and Development". For the first time, there was a lock on the door. Luna took out a very old-fashioned key, and unlocked it. Pulling on the light switch, on a single table in the center, surrounded by various experiments, was a computer. "Whoa…" Jeremy whispered. The monitor was, of course, gold-plated, and as big as a desk drawer. The computer itself was almost as big, but Jeremy put this off – this was probably the first computer ever built, after all. Luna turned it on, and Jeremy was once again surprised – it was currently signed in to his accounts.

"No Internet – we couldn't establish any kind of connection without having a constantly open interdimensional portal nearby," Luna explained.

Jeremy nodded. "Understandable," he said. "This is clearly the best gift I have ever received."

Luna blushed at the compliment. "Before you leave, we would examine the desk." Jeremy, still wanting to play around with the computer, reluctantly left to study the desk.

The silver placard caught his eye. "Head of Experimental Design – Jeremy", he read. And then read it again.

"Design away – and we'll find the materials that can do the job." Luna said, smirking. Jeremy's hand shook. All the weapons. _All of them_. He thought of something to say, some small parlance that could express his tidal wave of gratitude.

Fortunately, Luna seemed to get it. "Thy pay rate is determined by how much thou do – so don't feel too grateful…" Jeremy chuckled.

Luna left shortly after, to attend to royal business. As Jeremy walked home, he noticed ponies were staring and pointing even more, if that was possible. True to form, he ignored it.

9-17-13, 11:04 P.M.

Jeremy slumped down on his bed – it had been a hell of a night. Tucking himself into bed, he turned on the small lamp next to the bed and opened the first book. For the rest of the night, he was lost in the intrigue of theoretical and magical physics – taking notes, drawing new diagrams, and crossing those out and drawing newer diagrams. He hardly noticed when his head hit the pillow and he sunk into dreamland…

**A/N: Song was 'Call Me Maybe', by Carly Rae Jepsen.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

9-18-13, 12:37 P.M.

Jeremy woke up in a pile of papers, glasses still askew on his face. His pencil had slipped to the floor, and he adjusted his glasses and rubbed his eyes. As he looked at what he had been sleeping in, his mouth cracked in a faint smile.

Lunch was served in the castle, which was a short walk from where he lived. Thankfully, Equestrian concept of distance was a lot shorter than the human version – which made sense, considering the average adult pony only came up to his waist. Lunch today was, as usual, a myriad of vegetarian offerings of potatoes, fruits, and grains. Jeremy accepted a pancake without comment, and loaded up on various other things.

He returned to his room to find a package, addressed to him. It was large, perhaps two feet in length by one foot square. Who would send him something, and what on Earth was it? He picked it up and walked inside, noticing that his room had been tidied up and his papers had been misplaced. Whatever it was, it was _heavy_ – easily the weight of a shotgun, and about as long. It just then occurred to Jeremy that he could find out what the object was by looking at the label – and that he probably shouldn't be opening the package if it didn't have one. After some searching, he found a small square of sticky paper bearing a wax seal with a sun and moon coat of arms on it. "To Jeremy – from Luna and the R&D department" was written in extremely fancy, dark purple ink around the sides of the wax seal. Now less suspicious and more intrigued, Jeremy went and found a kitchen knife, and slit the box down the middle and sides so he could fold it open. He opened the box, and for a moment he could only stare. It was perfect, down to the sleek black-and-white glossy finish. Grunting, he lifted it out of the box and inspected it. The black was seemingly very heavy, but in all other aspects similar to carbon. The white was obviously thick sheet metal, although it was in turn very light. Aluminum? All in all, the gun was disproportionately heavy – then again, he reminded himself, containing a miniature quantum singularity was by no means without its gravitational drawbacks. Smiling at the thought he just had, he examined the handle.

This was the only part of the portal gun that was clearly modified – it had been tailored to actually fit smoothly into his hand. Was that in the blueprints? He wasn't sure – the worldmodels he had looked at featured a simple rod, bent twice to form a sort of square "U" shape. He'd have to check – maybe Luna noticed something he didn't. After all, the key to the computer she built was shared by both of them – it stood to reason she had tried her hoof at some of the games. Moving on… There were two triggers where the index finger would be, and a small button below that. Jeremy guessed that these controlled the portals and the levitation, respectively. Finally, on the opposite side in the middle of the face of the tube part, there was a small slide switch. Was this the 'on' switch? Again, Jeremy wasn't sure. Oh well – best to try it out anyway. He carefully pressed the lone switch, and the gun flickered to life, claws sliding out from their inward-bent positions and red lights switching on.

So far, so good. Now, to find a surface… Jeremy walked around the room, looking for a roughly human-sized, blank part of the wall. He found it in his own bedroom, just above his bed – a bit of a tough fit, but he could climb if he had to. He took careful aim, and fired the gun. The kick was amazing – it very nearly flew out of his hands. Almost too fast to see, a blue ball of energy fired out the front end, and hit the wall. In the split second following, Jeremy found himself desperately hoping that it would work. To his relief, the blue portal spread out, even making the appropriate sound before beginning the standard routine of swirling and glowing. Shakingly, Jeremy reached out and touched it. To his surprise, the membrane across the portal entrance _gave_ somewhat – he could press it beyond the confines of his bedroom wall, ever so slightly. Something to mention to the build team, then. Now, to find a second surface…

The apartment, both on the inside and outside, was too decorated with differing surfaces to accommodate a second portal. So, he looked elsewhere. From here, he could see the castle – ponies were going about their business. There was a small patch of marble that was unadorned, just on the outside of the castle wall under a window. That would be perfect – it was right above the ground. Taking aim again, he fired. The portal hit the grass, a good distance away from where he'd intended to place it. It took him a few tries, and a few near-misses of the milling populace, but he finally got a second portal placed. He couldn't quite make out from here if it had opened, though, so he'd have to go back inside.

Walking into his bedroom, he noticed that the portal had indeed opened – and the passersby were staring through it. "Don't mind me, just testing this out," he called out by way of greeting. Most shrugged and continued on, but a few stayed to watch. Carefully, Jeremy climbed through the portal. The temperature difference was the most striking – that and he seemed to break some sort of invisible barrier, like a giant soap bubble but a bit thicker, when he passed through. His apartment was fairly well cooled, though Jeremy didn't know how – there was no A/C, so he was inclined to suspect magic. Here, he had stepped outside directly into the heat of the afternoon. Jeremy looked back through the portal. His bedroom was visible. He put an arm through the portal, shivering at the odd sensation of once again breaking that mysterious barrier. He could only tell it was there because of the odd feeling it caused and a slight light distortion whenever something traveled through. He grabbed the candle-light lamp off of his bed and pulled it through. The lamp traveled through without a problem, and he examined it for any kind of obvious visual defects. Finding none, he pulled the box of matches from the space next to where the lamp was, and lit it. Again, nothing presented itself as obviously wrong, so he snuffed the flame and put both the matches and the lamp back where they were.

The final thing he had to do was – wait. _Wait._ He heard a very familiar voice… and immediately ran around the castle to stay out of sight. Twilight Sparkle and her usual entourage were walking up the steps to the castle doors, animatedly talking. What was _she_ doing here? Shouldn't she be back in Ponyville, learning stuff about friendship? Jeremy racked his brains for any reason she would be here. He never did ask Luna what the timeline was – maybe she had seen future episodes? The last episode he knew of was the one where Twilight became a princess, which had plainly already happened, considering her new wings. Speaking of which, she was evidently having trouble – crashing all over the place. Jeremy listened in. They were speaking about the Summer Sun Celebration, which Jeremy was confused by. Shouldn't that occur on the longest day of the year? On his world, the longest day of the year was usually June 21st or something, marked as the summer solstice. Another thing to ask Luna.

Evidently, Twilight was doing something in Canterlot – Jeremy didn't think she would drag her friends all the way out here just for flying practice. After her most spectacular flop yet, involving three clouds and a furrow a few feet long, the six quickly ended the practice session and went off towards the castle. Jeremy grimaced. Looks like he'd have to wait before entering the castle. Once he was sure they were gone, he stepped out into the open again, hoping the invisible camera that somehow kept track of all relatively important movements within this universe didn't pick him up. Not that he could tell. He stopped cold when he realized the orange portal was still clearly visible – he had left it open. Jeremy immediately held up the front end of his portal gun and turned it off. The portal was still active, though, and Jeremy frowned. How the hell did he reset the portals? Something else to work on… He took aim back towards his apartment, searching for any available surface to replace the portal. After a moment's searching, he remembered that he had already scoured his apartment on the inside and outside for portalable surfaces, and found none.

Jeremy had a thought – he did intend to check in to work today, so why not try for a portal there? Unfortunately, from here he was too low to get a good shot – he'd have to go back to his apartment anyway, so he stepped through the orange portal into his bedroom. Jeremy then walked outside and aimed at the office complex. Nope, still too low – he couldn't get a shot close enough to the ground to land safely, and didn't want to risk breaking his legs – his suit with all its sorbothane padding was inconveniently located at the very office he was attempting to reach. He stepped outside his door and walked up the stairs to the next suite – the door was closed, so he didn't have to worry about any awkward conversations about what he was doing. Finding a suitable spot that he could just barely make out, Jeremy took careful aim, lining up the portal gun as though it were a sniper rifle, and fired. To his satisfaction, he hit about where he had aimed at, although the portal was a few feet up from the ground. Oh well – a few feet was tolerable. Jeremy quickly went down the stairs and through to his bedroom, and stepped through the portal.

Jeremy made his way to his office, and entered. The worktables were strewn with what appeared to be trial experiments for the portal gun – Luna and the rest of the development had evidently been busy. He went to his desk, where the computer had been moved to. There was nobody present, for some reason. Logging in, he supposed he might as well attempt to get some better drawings for some of the game models. Picking a game at random, he found a spot in the map with decent lighting and began to draw…

9-18-13, 9:07 P.M.

It was night when he looked up again. To his surprise, no one had come and gone while he was preoccupied – the lab was exactly as he left it. He left his copious drawings by the computer, logged out, and placed the Portal Gun next to the computer before locking the door. Things had been looking up for him – by all rights, he should have been depressed and PTSD'd out of his mind given recent events. However, he had the best girlfriend, a steady job, and people thought he was a hero. Oh, and the magical devices certainly helped too. Life literally couldn't get much better for him. That being said, Jeremy still wondered if there were things he could've done better. Like, for instance, forgive Chrysalis – by all accounts, she was serving her country. Plus, he had to admire her way of doing things: Using guns against Equestrians worked very well, considering they'd never seen a firearm before. Where'd she even get a gun, anyway? And turret-mounted helicopters – what? Where did those even come from? Jeremy suspected he should have a chat with her. Having nothing better to do, he made his way over to do just that.

Jeremy heard she was in the dungeons, but had no idea where to look – the only listing he could find was "High Security Prisoners", in the west wing. There was no one at the desk to help him – where was everypony? So, assuming that Chrysalis was important enough to deserve such a classification, he went that way.

It took him a few minutes of searching, but he finally found her cell. She was spacing out, staring at the wall until he arrived – she snapped to attention the moment she saw him. "Come to kill me?" she plainly asked. Jeremy just shook his head.

"I was just curious to know," he started. "Where did you get all of those guns and helicopters and stuff?" Chrysalis, for a moment, looked unsure how to answer.

Then she gave a truly devilish grin. "From _you_, of course – or more specifically, your kind."

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Of… course. Why did I expect any different."

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. "Is your kind exceptionally warlike?"

Jeremy nodded. "Yep, pretty much."

"That explains a lot," Chrysalis muttered.

"Not really – most of the general populace is pretty tame, it's only our military which does any actual fighting," Jeremy explained.

"What about you?" Chrysalis asked, her voice dripping with contempt on the _you_.

Jeremy shrugged, a capricious smile coming to his face. "Mm, I don't know… magic?" he replied, much to Chrysalis' infuriation.

She muttered darkly. "Have you heard? I'm scheduled to have a trial tomorrow," she bitterly informed him.

"Good – I'm sure the punishment will be fair," Jeremy said offhandedly. This was partially on purpose – if she thought he was uncaring, he would be. To his consternation, Chrysalis laughed.

"You don't understand how things work here, do you?" Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I won't spoil the surprise – but I know what they have in store for me, and it isn't pleasant." Jeremy attempted to think of any possible punishment the Equestrian government could give that Queen Chrysalis would dread.

"…Death?" he guessed. Chrysalis shook her head. "Community service?" he half-joked. Chrysalis' mouth twitched up in an attempt at a smile, but she quickly suppressed it.

"No. Now run along, human… I have eternity to think about," Chrysalis sullenly replied, dismissing him. Jeremy frowned, and left.

As he opened his door, got into his pajamas (which had been freshly washed), and climbed into bed, Jeremy couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Before he could process what it was, he fell fast asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

9-19-13, 3:02 A.M.

Jeremy wandered through the high school, looking perhaps for a new gun or some morphine. Was he hurt? He didn't remember getting hurt. In fact, he'd had the strangest dream about My Little Pony. He opened a closet door, and walked out into his bedroom, which quickly changed between his Canterlot bedroom and his Earth one. He walked over to his desk and opened a book, which read "Come Outside" in the middle of a bunch of text on physics. Jeremy was suddenly standing outside, and Luna was beside him. She reached out a hoof, and promptly hit him across the face.

"Ow… what… huh?" Jeremy spluttered as he staggered away.

"We need you conscious in this dream, this is important," Luna explained.

"I… um… I'm dreaming?" Jeremy asked to confirm his thoughts. Luna nodded, and he looked around. "So, now that I'm conscious…" Luna gestured to his house and the void surrounding it.

"Until thou wake up, thou have full control of thy dream world. But that is not why we are here!" Jeremy frowned.

"Why even are you here? I mean, it was nice to visit, even if I'm asleep, but…" Luna shushed him with a hoof.

"Our sister has been captured by some sort of sentient plant. We are going to see if we can rescue her." Jeremy whirled around in alarm.

"So, shouldn't I be waking up? I can't rescue her if I'm asleep!" Luna motioned for him to let her continue, and he reluctantly did so.

"That is exactly what we are _not_ asking," she replied. "Do _not_ rescue our sister, or us if it should come to that. Twilight Sparkle should have things well in hoof. We can't afford thou getting seen, not after what we discussed." Jeremy shifted from one foot to the other anxiously.

"Are you sure there isn't _anything_ I can do to help?" he asked. Luna thought for a moment and then shook her head.

"Too risky. Stay in Canterlot, as we are sure Twilight will venture to Ponyville the moment she learns." Jeremy didn't like it, but it was sound advice. "We thank thou, this takes quite a load of worry off!" Luna stated, relieved. Jeremy raised an eyebrow – clearly she understood the gravity of the situation… or maybe she was just concerned about him? Luna, obviously reading his thoughts, replied "A little of both. Now, if thou will excuse us, we must attend to the sun and moon in our sister's absence." Jeremy shrugged in agreement, and she exited the dream world in a flash of light.

Unsure of what to do, Jeremy wandered around his own dream. He could make things appear and disappear, but if he wasn't concentrating they went back to what they were doing. The oddest part was, now that he was 'awake', it all felt so real. What to do? Jeremy decided to try flying. He took a running leap, and jumped, soaring off into the sky above his home town. Rapidly, the surface below him flickered between suburbs and what appeared to be a cold, gray surface – that was new. As Jeremy came closer to the ground, it flickered again and settled on the other place. He landed perfectly, wondering how he knew how to do so. Where was this? Jeremy inspected the rocky terrain – it appeared devoid of just about everything, except for gray rocks and lighter gray rocks. He looked upward, and his eyes widened.

He was staring at a vague facsimile of Earth – but something was missing. The continents were smaller, the planet seemed either too close or too large, and the shapes of the continents were less defined than in the NASA photos he'd seen. It was clear that he was on the Moon – but what was up with the Earth? Jeremy had thought that dreams were only influenced by his own memories, but these weren't his. As he looked around, he had a thought – these were _Luna's_ memories. Somehow, he'd gained access to her memory of banishment on the moon.

As fascinating as being on a moon was, after a few hours Jeremy had to admit he could understand why this was a hell of a punishment. The moon was, after the first few minutes, _boring_. It wasn't like he could take soil samples or anything interesting like that, and now that he was in Luna's memory instead of his own, he didn't seem to be able to leave – would he have to wake up? Or would he simply never wake up at all? The one fun thing to note was that gravity, like the moon back home, was lower here – Jeremy could jump over tall ledges if he so wished. As he jumped over one such crevasse, the world around him suddenly turned to white.

9-19-13, 7:30 A.M.

Jeremy woke up with a start. What the hell? Unlike his usual dreams, he remembered everything – a side effect of being 'awakened', he supposed. He got on his clothes, and stepped outside. And stared.

The sky was split in two – the moon on one side, the sun on the other. Fittingly, the backdrop of the sky was also split between day and night. Ponies who were just waking up were also glancing confusedly, while guards ran around trying to reassure the populace that everything was going to be alright.

Jeremy went back inside to wait until lunch, as well as to stay out of any potential cameras' sightlines. So what happened? Luna said she was going to raise the sun, and then lower the moon, in that order. Then, Jeremy thought, she must have successfully raised the sun, but was unable to lower the moon before being interrupted and most likely captured. Jeremy gripped the sides of the table. God _dammit_. He was going to take Luna's advice and stay put, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He had to do something! He looked out the window towards the thorny mass of black-and bluish-green vines advancing on Ponyville. They looked oddly familiar, like a plant version of a changeling. Hey… that was something to do! He could interrogate Chrysalis as to whether she knew anything or was responsible. It wouldn't surprise Jeremy if this was some kind of revenge.

He walked off towards the prison, being sure to take back alleys and avoid the streets as much as possible. After taking a few roundabout routes, he arrived, and carefully walked inside. He quickly found Chrysalis' cell, where she was staring out the barred window. "Oh, it's you again," she said without turning around.

"Yep, me," Jeremy said by way of greeting.

"Did you know Equestria's being invaded by vines?" Chrysalis asked with the air of one discussing the weather.

"Yeah. Came up here to see if you knew anything, because the vines look _awfully_ familiar," Jeremy inquired. Chrysalis shook her head.

"No relation to us, or anything we've made – although you shouldn't take my word on it." Jeremy had to agree with that statement. Chrysalis, as though just realizing something, turned around to look at him.

"…Why do you keep visiting me?" she asked bluntly. Jeremy wasn't sure how to answer.

"I get bored easily, and your conversations are interesting," he replied. Hey, it was mostly the truth. Chrysalis grinned.

"Really? Perhaps you'd find me more interesting if you got to know me," she smoothly remarked.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "As if I'm that stupid – who's to say you won't hypnotize me the moment I'm off guard? No, I prefer you behind bars."

Chrysalis angrily looked back towards the window, and Jeremy casted about for another topic. He found one that would work. "So, I did some research on love," he casually announced.

Chrysalis slowly turned back, glaring. "And?" Jeremy inwardly smiled; he could tell she was secretly interested.

"Turns out, love magic can be synthesized. You just need the chemical formula for the compounds that send the brain the right signal." Chrysalis slapped a hoof to her face, an overdramatic response in Jeremy's opinion.

"You idiot – no one's ever managed to pin that down, and we probably never will. One of the many, many reasons my changelings are hungry." Jeremy laughed, and this time it was he who got to drop the bombshell – an extremely pleasant feeling.

"Guess what I know?" he taunted in a singsong voice. To his delight, this shocked Chrysalis into silence.

"You _can't_ be serious… You're just a child among your race, how could you possibly know?" she asked disbelievingly. Jeremy smirked.

"We have something called the Internet – among other things, it's the largest information database available to the public. I was bored one day, looked it up, and found out. Plus, chemistry is one of my many hobbies – so I know the molecular structures as well." Chrysalis seemed unsure of how to respond. Finally, she hung her head.

"Alright… what do I have to do?"

Jeremy was confused. "For what?" Chrysalis placed her hooves against the bars so her face was only a few inches away from him.

"To get those compounds, you…!" She seemed to be restraining herself from hurling insults at him.

"Well…" Jeremy thought out loud. What _did_ he want from her? He wasn't the right person to be exploiting others – he didn't have the stomach or the cleverness for it. Was there something she could do, or should he just give them to her? Oh. No, wait, he had the perfect idea.

"I want you… to do the following," he started. Chrysalis listened attentively. "One, never invade any other country, ever again."

Chrysalis raised a hoof like she was in a classroom. "What if some hapless nation invades us?"

Jeremy shrugged. "Then, it's your call. Rule number two: Changelings are never to drain the love or whatever of other sentient beings – after all, you shouldn't need to." Chrysalis nodded in agreement.

"Fair enough – anything else?" she asked, with the air of one who wanted the conversation to end quickly.

"Third? Form an alliance with Equestria, or at the very least a peaceful truce," he finished. Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.

"…Why?" she asked – not belligerently, but curiously. "You know how Equestria _never_ loses a fight? They're basically invincible – fate is on _their_ side," he said. It wasn't all of the truth, but it was the truth she needed to know.

"So you're saying it's best to never fight them? They can do anything they want?" Chrysalis demanded. Jeremy smiled.

"Not quite – but it's best to let them know that as long as they keep doing what they're doing, you're with them."

Chrysalis frowned in thought. "For a larvae, you're awfully prescient about politics," she observed. Jeremy laughed.

"Please, this is hardly politics. Throw in a few more nations and non-governmental organizations, economic sanctions and civil unrest, and then you'll have an idea of what we think goes for 'politics' back on my home planet."

Chrysalis chuckled, and then collected herself. "I agree to all of those terms – but what of Equestria's plans for me? It looks like I'm going to be here for a while, and my changeling army has undoubtedly regrouped at the hive by now." Jeremy thought.

"Equestrian prison shouldn't be that bad – I mean, look at this place. Ignoring the bars, you have a comfortable bed, free food, and amenities. Do they even call you trash daily?" Chrysalis confusedly shook her head.

"Ha. See? It can't be that bad," Jeremy continued jokingly.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Regardless… when do I get those formulas? A deal's a deal, after all," she demanded.

"I'll give you more than just formulas – if you go through with all that, I'll build you the machine to do it," Jeremy proudly announced.

Chrysalis' eyes widened. "You would do that for me? You are confusing – scant days ago, you were terrorizing my army with a length of pipe and a smile."

Jeremy shrugged. "As far as enemies go, you aren't the worst I've fought – morally, at least. Strategically, you were really, really bad."

They were interrupted by a royal guard coming through. Catching Jeremy's eye, she coolly nodded before unlocking Chrysalis' door and magically clamping chains around her wings and horn. "What's going on?" Jeremy asked.

"Our royal princesses have just gotten back, and Celestia wants to see her immediately," the guard stated professionally. Jeremy nodded – so Twilight came through. He hadn't seriously doubted her, but some small part of him always wondered. "Celestia also invited you to this meeting as well – she thought you might be interested," the guard continued. Jeremy nodded and walked along with them, Chrysalis darkly muttering to herself before getting a jab in the ribcage by the guard.

They entered what appeared to be a conference room, where Celestia and Luna sat. Celestia looked furious; she snarled the moment Chrysalis entered the room. "You must have thought you were pretty clever," she spat. Chrysalis looked at Jeremy, and he shrugged – he had no idea what was going on. Luna noticed, and looked at him, to which he remained impassive. Celestia used her magic to lift a small paper bag on the table. Taking it out, she revealed a fragment of vine and passed it to Chrysalis. Now that they were side by side, the texture similarities were striking to Jeremy: If he hadn't known better, he'd say that the vine could have been a severed limb of a changeling. "I'll ask you once, and only once: Where did you get these, and what did Discord give you for them?" Celestia imperiously demanded.

Chrysalis looked up at her, cold fury in her eyes. "I don't know what these are. They look similar, that is true, but surely you cannot judge by-" She was interrupted by Celestia slamming her hooves on the table.

"Do not play games with me! I know you were behind this. _Where did you get these?!_"

Now Chrysalis was truly frightened. "I swear, I do not know!" This obviously didn't convince Celestia. Luna looked nervous at Celestia's behavior, but wasn't saying anything. Chrysalis was silent, in fear of inciting Celestia's retribution. In fact, Jeremy realized, the only one in the room with a free tongue was_ him_.

But as he was about to speak, Celestia pulled out an official-looking scroll. "For royal treason and kidnapping of two princesses, we the royal judge sentence the defendant to Tartarus for eternity in solitary confinement." She leaned over the table. "Last chance to back out, _changeling_." This spurred Jeremy to action, and he interrupted Chrysalis this time.

"What are you _doing_?" he asked furiously. Celestia looked at him in surprise, and he continued. "This isn't a fair trial – this is you throwing a temper tantrum and making a mockery of logical conclusions. I will not stand for this, relationship with Luna or no – this isn't you, Celestia. Come on, Chrysalis – you're going home, and that will be that." At the end of his speech, Celestia was openmouthed in shock.

"But you – you were the one who defeated her in the first place! Surely you must hate her?!" Jeremy turned back to look at her, shooing Chrysalis out of the room with one hand.

"At least I hated her for a _reason_," he coldly replied. "Luna, I'll be seeing you later tonight – it appears I have to do Celestia's job and make peace for a change."

With that, he departed from the room, Chrysalis in tow.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

As they walked through the streets of Canterlot, ponies were unsure how to react to Jeremy leading Chrysalis along. Some whistled, catcalled and jeered; to these Jeremy gave a furious glare until they fell silent. A few royal guards walked by, did double takes, and then walked on – sometimes giving him a conspiratorial wink or smile. What was all that about? Jeremy wondered.

Finally, they came into the office complex. Jeremy reluctantly had Chrysalis enter – if she waited outside, she might well be snatched up again, this time without hope of escape. Chrysalis was silent the whole time, though she was evidently drinking in the sights of the research and development building. He pulled the portal gun off of its place on the desk, still struggling with the weight. "What is that?" Chrysalis asked when he brought it out.

"A shortcut," Jeremy cryptically answered. He walked out to the nearest cliffside and took aim at the furthest structure he could – Fluttershy's cottage. He pressed the trigger, and a bolt of orange streaked away. Jeremy thought he saw the orange circle open, and was satisfied when the device lit up orange.

"What did you just fire? Looked like a ball of magic to me," Chrysalis commented curiously. Jeremy smiled, turning around to aim at the office complex. He fired the other trigger, and the blue portal almost instantaneously expanded on a wall. Chrysalis stared, openmouthed.

"Like I said; a shortcut," Jeremy replied to her unspoken question.

9-19-13, 12:32 P.M.

Through the blue portal, a brown bunny viewed them, startled for a moment before hopping away. They stepped through, and Jeremy gestured for Chrysalis to lead the way. To his surprise, she began simply walking down the path that led to the forest – maybe they would stray off the path later? He followed, striding down the path to catch up with Chrysalis.

They strolled down the sunlit path, the forest slowly encroaching on the light overhead. Chrysalis looked at him as though trying to hold back something, and then finally burst out "You took out nearly my entire changeling army, all by yourself. You aren't even affected by our guns, even though they're supposed to be enormously deadly weapons – on _your_ planet! You even defeated _Chitin_, the single biggest changeling alive, and now you're_rescuing_ me? Who _are_ you? _What_ are you?" Chrysalis exclaimed in a confused paroxysm of rage and relief.

Jeremy looked at her. Quick, he had to think of a witty response. Aaugh, he couldn't think of anything! The one time he had an opportunity for a sick one-liner handed to him on a silver platter, and he couldn't think of a response. Jeremy decided to answer truthfully. "Just some guy… who's been through a lot," he replied. Chrysalis grumbled, unsure of how to respond to this.

"So… You mentioned something about a relationship with Luna?" Chrysalis asked, looking at him slyly while changing the topic. "Yeah, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now – or marefriend and coltfriend? Screw it, we're boyfriend and marefriend," Jeremy answered at length.

Chrysalis smiled. "You don't care about the species gap?" Jeremy vigorously shook his head. "The species gap doesn't make any sense in this context. Who cares if we look different? We're both sentient, we both consent to the relationship, and really that's all that matters."

She was evidently amused by this. "What does your culture think of this?" she asked. Jeremy rolled his eyes. "They'd think it would be "wrong" – because she looks different. Then again, they do have a reason – humans are the only sentient species on our planet, although a lot of others come close. This leads to us taking a rather supremacist view of our sentience – our species is even named '_Homo sapiens_'."

Once again, Chrysalis laughed - Jeremy didn't really think it was funny, but hey, maybe it was just his cultural gap. "So what would you think of a relationship with me?" she asked.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow, unamused. "I already have a marefriend, so I don't need more," he bluntly stated. Chrysalis looked a little put off by this. They walked on for some time, and even though it was the middle of the day, it was dark enough to be evening. Finally, Chrysalis turned off the path, motioning for Jeremy to follow.

The shade of the trees made Jeremy notice that Chrysalis' eyes glowed in the dark. He'd once learned the scientific name for this odd feature – _tapetus lucidium_, it was called, though Jeremy had no idea what the literal translation of that was. Whatever, as long as the path was easy to navigate. Jeremy cautiously stepped out of the way of thorns, nettles, and odd-looking leaves. Chrysalis walked straight through, her exoskeleton leaving her impervious to any of the sharper flora. She was obviously amused by his struggle, and continued to lead him through the thick of the forest.

Finally, they came upon a massive cave. "Here we are, hive sweet hive," Chrysalis said happily. Jeremy admired the cave: It was remarkably unremarkable, a perfect hiding place for a changeling hive.

"So, where your hive at?" Jeremy asked, peering inside.

"It's much further in – hope you like the dark," Chrysalis commented evilly. Jeremy hefted his portal gun, still giving off bright blue light.

"Nah, I'm good," he drily replied. With that, Chrysalis turned around and walked into the cave.

The cyan light gave the cave an eerie blue glow. As they went further in, the blue was slowly replaced with green, until they came upon a massive expanse, what looked to Jeremy like an entire mountain had been hollowed out. "Damn," he breathed. "This place is huge…" He didn't notice until he looked down again that an entire horde of changelings had gathered towards him, hissing angrily. He looked at Chrysalis. She looked back, smug as ever, with an "I don't know what you expected" look in her eyes. Jeremy jerked a thumb at Chrysalis. "Who do you think rescued her, idiots?" This caused stirring and confusion in the gathering, most of which were staring at Chrysalis for answers.

"Yes, it's true. It seems he had a change of heart, and is now helping us solve our food problem." Jeremy nodded. Though the changelings still regarded him with suspicion and in some cases open hostility, they no longer made as though they were about to kill him, which was appreciated – Jeremy had left his suit back at the office complex. He continued examining the hive.

Great drips of green hung from the ceiling, seemingly housing the general populace. Changelings could be seen flying from drop-shaped area to drop-shaped area, carrying various items Jeremy couldn't make out from where he was standing. Closer to eye level, a number of caves led to more housing – possibly for the upper echelons of changeling society. The cave also extended deep below the surface – but no changelings were occupied down there. In fact, the only thing Jeremy could see down below was a sulfurous yellow cloud of smoke that occupied the whole bottom of the cavern. Vaguely, he wondered what was down there. Perhaps he'd ask sometime.

Jeremy whipped out the portal gun, and tried to find an adequate wall to point it at. Unfortunately, the cave walls were too sloped to allow a portal, and he unsuccessfully tried a few locations before Chrysalis motioned for him to follow her. He did so, and they walked into a cave almost equivalent to a small, modern house back in Equestria or on Earth. The walls had been carved perfectly flat, and there was an open-ended cocoon in one corner. The room was littered with newspaper articles, most depicting dates and times of important Equestrian events.

Jeremy placed an orange portal on the far wall, over by Chrysalis' bed, opening to the office complex. "Alright, so I'll get started on your thing, and try not to get arrested myself. In the meantime, lay low here – according to what I've been told, no one quite knows where you live."

He was about to step in the portal when Chrysalis called out "Wait!" He looked back. "Don't you want to stay, look around a bit?" she asked.

"Maybe later – this place does seem pretty interesting. For now, I've got to go see how many ponies I've managed to tick off – I'll be back some time tomorrow." Chrysalis nodded, and Jeremy stepped through the portal.

He quickly made his way back to his office, unlocked it, and slipped inside, replacing the blue portal right beside his desk. "Also, post a guard here if you can," he commented to Chrysalis, who had noticed.

"I already have," she replied, and a changeling with a gun peeked around the interdimensional hole, glaring at Jeremy when it saw him. "Alright, good," Jeremy remarked, and continued his search.

Finally, he found his suit – a bit rumpled, but it would still work. He struggled his way into one leg, and then the other, finally stretching the top around his head. He neglected to put the helmet on, as he didn't feel he needed it. Chrysalis raised an eyebrow in surprise at his appearance. "Just in case," he offhandedly remarked.

With that, he locked the door and walked out into the warm Equestrian evening. He wouldn't know if it were evening except his rough guess of time – after all, he'd started his trip to the hive around noon, and they had spent quite some time hiking. Jeremy headed back to his room, only to find guards posted around the entrances. Oh, please, he thought to himself. Thankfully, all his weapons were still in the dimensional pocket that came with the suit, so he took out his double-barreled shotgun. Walking out into the open, he gave a smile and a wave to the guards. One, after a moment's hesitation, trotted over. "You are summoned to the royal chamber for a private conversation," he read off of a scroll, and the rest of the guards circled around him.

Jeremy sighed. "Of course I am," he tiredly said. "After all, making peace is _clearly_ illegal." Some of the guards exchanged looks of mild confusion. Jeremy decided to take advantage of the moment. "Oh – did your royal monarch neglect to tell you? My crime is establishing peace between two nations permanently. _Such_ an offense – it must _really_ get her blood boiling." If there was one thing Jeremy considered himself good at, it was sarcasm. Without bothering to hear a reply, he confidently walked in the direction of the castle, unloaded shotgun swinging carelessly in his right hand.

9-19-13, 7:06 P.M.

Of course, it was the same meeting room as last time – except Luna was not present. "What happened to Luna?" Jeremy asked.

"She was biased in your favor, so she could not attend," Celestia sternly answered.

"Fair enough. What am I here to 'discuss', then?" Jeremy inquired politely. Celestia stood up and walked over to him intimidatingly – a difficult feat when she was slightly shorter than he was, but she managed to pull it off.

"For a stunt like that, ordinarily you would have been shipped off to Tartarus yourself. But it seems you are rather… resourceful," she claimed, putting careful emphasis on the last word. "I'll allow you to try your little love project – but the second it goes wrong, and I am sure it will, the blame will rest squarely on your shoulders."

Jeremy laughed._ That_ was her threat? "When hasn't it? Calm down, Celestia – if they try anything, I'll be the one to stop them personally." Celestia nodded once in agreement, and pointed a hoof at the door, signaling his dismissal.

Humming cheerfully, Jeremy walked out the door, straight into Luna. Luna dismissed his apologies, instead asking "How did it go?"

Jeremy shrugged. "She said if I mess up it's on me – nothing I didn't already know," he grumbled. Luna wasn't sure what to say to that, so instead she asked for him to follow her. He did so, and she went up to what appeared to be her private quarters – the door here was marked with a crescent moon, while the door next to it was marked with a sun. Jeremy waited outside until Luna came back with a brochure – the same one she had showed him for that event two nights ago. Jeremy still felt joyfully happy about that night. "What about it? I thought I read it already…" Luna pointed out a part of the text that he had clearly not read enough. "Second Night will take place three nights after the first, and is usually reserved for the partner who didn't sing last time. I have to sing?" Jeremy asked worriedly. Luna laughed.

"Only if thou want to. Besides, thou art fine at singing." Jeremy looked at her shrewdly.

"How do you know?"

Luna blushed. "Remember how we can read your mind?" Jeremy still couldn't get over that.

"Uugh. Was it in the _shower_?" Luna nodded.

"We noticed you seemed surprised at the time. Art thou not normally that good?"

Jeremy shook his head. "No, that was very odd. Was that some sort of magic?"

Luna shrugged. "We do not know – it seems there are some enchantments that have been made in our absence," she replied.

"Hmm. Well, if I can repeat that level of singing quality, I guess I'd be up for it. What about music?" he asked.

"Try wearing your suit to the performance – you'll find it does more than just soundtracks," she remarked.

"Works for me," Jeremy replied. They wandered around the hall for a bit, talking about anything from love magic to plans for magical engineering. From there, the topic turned to the games themselves.

"We have been finding that each of your games has a story – are all games like this?" Luna asked curiously.

"They're supposed to be, so all the good ones are," Jeremy replied. "Games _are_ stories – they're just more real than the words on a piece of paper could ever be, and more fun for the listeners than television could ever accomplish." Luna thoughtfully appraised this.

"We are interested in finding more – perhaps when thou return to Earth, thou can send some our way," she teased. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

Luna went off to raise the moon, and Jeremy was left alone in the castle. He reviewed the brochure Luna had left with him, as he had managed to misplace the original. As he read down the brochure, he considered what to sing. He had plenty of love songs to pick from, but only one that he truly liked – and hey, the symbolism fit. Choice in mind, Jeremy walked back to his apartment.

Once there, he took out a piece of paper and a pencil. At the top, he wrote "Love Generator v1", and began to sketch a rough outline. He started with all the components, listed on the left with labels. He drew these in, and made a rough container around them. Finally, he worked on connecting everything up – this was the hardest part. Once he was satisfied he had accomplished something, he wrote "Work in Progress" across the page in light pencil in case someone attempted to take the papers again. With that, he put them on his bedside table, put the pencil next to them, doused the lamp, and drifted off into sleep.

**A/N: Chitin the changeling is property of .com, and was used with permission.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

9-20-13, 11:54 A.M.

As Jeremy woke up, he looked over to see that the papers were still there, untouched. He got some clothes on, and headed over for work, taking the papers with him.

His day at the office was fairly uneventful. Occasionally, a changeling would wander through the portal to stare at his work. Meanwhile, he worked on some possible designs for the love machine, focusing mainly on the emitter and the power source.

To be honest, he still didn't trust Chrysalis – her surprisingly honest and straightforward manner with him might be nothing but another ploy to lull him into a sense of false security. Jeremy needed some kind of trump card – something he could pull out and Chrysalis couldn't outwit. With that in mind, he checked the portal to the changeling hive. Evidently, Chrysalis and the others were out – her personal hive was empty. Good – although mightn't they be invisible? Jeremy turned on the infrared camera on his glasses and looked around. Nothing, so they likely were out. Just to make sure, he checked under his desk, around the room in the various hiding corners and blind spots, and for good measure he poked his head through the portal to check there.

He was entirely alone. Excellent. Jeremy pulled out a new sheet of paper and began drawing a rough sketch of the same blueprint as before. However, he began messing with the wires, wiring them to all sides of the chassis and insulating each face of the cuboid design from the others. He then placed all of the inner components on the bottom of the device, leaving a significant empty space in the top. This was soon taken up by a rough drawing of a powdery substance, and a small notation "2 Al + Fe2O3" over it. Into this powdery area, he put a long strip which he labeled "Mg" connected to a wire labeled "NiCr", and connected this to the power source and a magical receiver – it was basically an infrared receiver, but much more long-distance, although the nature of the device prevented it from transmitting any serious power. That was okay, as Jeremy only needed a binary switch. After making a few technical edits for completeness, Jeremy thought about where to hide this blueprint, so that Chrysalis wouldn't find it. In a drawer? No, that was easily searched. How about his suit – it was looking pretty inconspicuous over there in the corner… Hmm. No, this wouldn't work – there was no location here that was protected enough. Jeremy did a quick check around for any changelings that might have invisibly wandered into his room, and of course found none. He was beginning to be a little too paranoid…

Just then, he had the perfect idea. He scribbled a note on a folded-in-half piece of paper, saying "Out for errand – be back soon! (Do not touch anything while I'm gone)". Next, he went back to the first blueprint for the love device, and altered it to not work – easy enough, he just had to change a few wires. Most ponies, and changelings included, had no working knowledge of electronics – magic was far more versatile. Finally, he set off towards the castle.

It was a rare event to see Jeremy outside of his defined quarters – ordinarily he only ventured out for mealtimes and to enter and leave the office complex. Even rarer, he actually entered the castle this time, checking the front door to see if Twilight and her friends were around. Satisfied that they were not, he headed up the stairs to the royal quarters. This was done in full view of Princess Celestia, who's throne was right inside the front door. Apart from looking at him curiously, she did nothing, and Jeremy gave a casual nod to her as he went upstairs.

It was easy enough to find Luna's door – all but hers and Celestia's had numbers on them. He slipped the correct blueprints under the door, and calmly left.

To disguise the true intent of his mission, Jeremy next stopped at a small eatery to pick up a snack – just a small chocolate chip cookie. He had received his first pay from Luna a short while earlier, consisting of an enormously heavy sack of gold coins dropped on his front step. For a while, Jeremy had wondered why no one had stolen it yet – after a cup of cold water and breakfast, he had quickly remembered that theft was pretty much nonexistent in Equestria. Thankfully, food and other such consumable goods were cheap – even so, he was an unusually conservative spender. Long teenage years of having to earn only a few tens of dollars had taught him to save whatever money he had, and he hated asking favors.

Munching contentedly on the chocolate chip cookie, he noticed it was evening – Luna was probably already up and preparing to raise the moon. He was distracted from this by a soft mental laughter. _Luna?_ he mentally queried.

_Yes? _she answered, surprising him.

_…__How are we using telepathy? I certainly don't have that power_, Jeremy commented.

_But we do_, she reminded him. _We saw thy blueprint – it is good. We were at first afraid that thou had been taken unawares by Chrysalis's spell, but we are now assured thou art still thyself_. Jeremy wasn't sure what to say to that – clearly a whole lotta mistrust was going on between parties.

_Yeah, I was meaning to ask you about that at dinner. Is there a way to hide my memories of that from outside parties? After all, if you can read my mind, _she_ almost definitely can as well._ In response, he got a vague feeling of surprise – on Luna's end, presumably. Telepathy was weird – he was having a hard time distinguishing her emotions from his.

After a pause, Luna answered. _Yes, we can_, she affirmed. Jeremy felt a vague tingling in his head – a bit like something was either tickling or mildly electrocuting his frontal lobes. _There. Now, no one else but us can access thy mind – not without some serious magical power._

Jeremy smiled slightly, and replied _Good. Hey, how long-distance does this connection get?_ Luna appeared to think for a while.

_We do not think there is a limit_, she answered. Jeremy noted this in mild surprise, and continued walking back to his office.

To his surprise, when he got back, Chrysalis was lounging about. "Oh, hey Chrysalis," he greeted as he sat down and opened a game to play. Thankfully, a few years of drama class and an additional few years of high school had rendered him so blasé in attitude that Chrysalis didn't even notice anything was wrong.

"Hello. So, this is the finished thing, hmm?" Chrysalis said while examining the fake blueprint.

"Yep," Jeremy affirmed indifferently. He stopped at a particularly well-lit screenshot and began to draw, making careful and light strokes across the blank sheet of paper.

"Pretty well-done… now, if only they'd been willing to give us this technology _before_," Chrysalis angrily spat.

"I don't think they knew it was there themselves – even though they had all the pieces, I don't think anyone would have ever thought to put them together." Chrysalis considered this, but her lip quickly went back to curling in disgust.

"More likely they did, and didn't do anything – with all those Cutie Marks, somepony was bound to have the idea."

Jeremy looked up at her, glaring slightly. "Girl, you need to _move on_. We're giving you what you want, and letting you off the hook in the bargain – one would think you'd be grateful!"

Slightly taken aback, Chrysalis stared at him for a moment. Then she finally dropped her eyes. "Right," she muttered darkly. Jeremy grimaced, and paused for a moment to get some particularly specific details down.

"It's not good to hold grudges," he finally said. Chrysalis looked at him disbelievingly. "Yeah, I know. Everyone hears that, all the time. But I know from experience. You think your army were the first casualties I ever made?" he asked Chrysalis. Confused by the change of subject, she slowly shook her head. "Right. Before you guys, I had to deal with a bunch of idiot terrorists who thought it'd be a good idea to raid a school. And… I killed all of them." It had only been a short time, perhaps a week or so since the Incident, but talking about it was still hard for Jeremy. It was probably going to be hard for a long time – maybe even the rest of his life.

Chrysalis was looking at him in an expression of shock. "You humans kill your own?" Jeremy nodded.

"No one else to kill, really – with us being the only sentient species on our planet, eventually someone's going to want someone else dead. And we made a lot of dumb excuses – the color of your skin, your sexual preference, or even your religion – even though religion's not really a thing here, so maybe you wouldn't know what that is? Anyway, getting off topic. Point is, yeah, we've been killing each other since our beginnings. Back to the story. So, I killed a lot of people in that week. I don't even know the full count – I know it was somewhere over 50, and probably closer to 100 – they were evidently expecting full national attention, holding out for weeks or months, or something like that. Heh. Guess they weren't expecting me." At that, Chrysalis could only smile. "But at the end of the day, now that I'm home, and safe, and alive – I don't really hate them. Sure, they tried to kill me, and my friends. And, yeah, at a lot of points they nearly succeeded. But really, they weren't the ones at fault. Their upbringing was probably at fault – they believed we were evil, and the enemy, and we were responsible or were going to be responsible for the death of something they loved – I didn't pay too much attention. And, hell, maybe they were right – as far as countries go, America isn't as high and moral out in the international arena as the civilians think it is. But they were fighting for their ideals, and I was fighting for mine – and I just happened to win."

Chrysalis thoughtfully considered this, and Jeremy mentally cringed at the thought of what she must be thinking of his long and esoteric tangent. "So… are you saying I shouldn't blame them for not thinking of it, because they weren't taught to?" she clarified.

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. All these ponies have been taught to think of changelings as the enemy, as nothing more than love-sucking monsters. So it's no surprise that they didn't want to help – they probably thought you would just eat them or something." Chrysalis made a disgusted face, and Jeremy chuckled. "So, we're going to change that," he said. "Give them something to think about – maybe if changelings weren't so hung up with stealing love, they'd actually be cool to hang with, hmm?"

Chrysalis smiled appreciatively. "And you think this will work?" Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Please. They forgave Princess Luna for the Nightmare Moon incident, they forgave Discord for his shenanigans… I think you'll do just fine." Chrysalis' smile turned into a joyful grin, and in that moment Jeremy truly felt terrible for deceiving her.

9-20-13, 7:02 P.M.

Chrysalis left shortly thereafter, to attend to her "queenly duties". Jeremy packed up his stuff and took an early leave – he had a bit of time before dinner to practice singing. He could always opt out – but he felt he owed it to Luna to at least try. Suit in hand, he headed for his own home.

When he reached his apartment, he closed the door. He went into the bathroom, and slipped the suit on. Wondering how to switch it to the appropriate song, and then how to generate an instrumental from that, he was surprised when it began doing it on its own. He began to sing along, quietly at first – barely a whisper, really. Then louder. Then, as a smile broke out onto his face, louder.

At dinner, hardly a word was exchanged between him and any other person at the table – business as usual. Besides, the grilled vegetables were delicious and he would not hear a word otherwise. As he put his plates away, Luna approached him. "So, before we submit thy name, art thou in or not?"

Jeremy nodded enthusiastically. "Unless something goes stupidly wrong, I think I got it!"

9-20-13, 10:07 P.M.

The place was just as he remembered it – red, pink and all. He was let in first, along with the rest of the singers, and one such nudged him excitedly. "You giving her a response? Alright, good. Me, I'm pretty nervous, but I think I can pull it off," he chattered. Jeremy wasn't exactly calm himself, but he looked the pony straight in the eye.

"Relax, you'll do fine," he said, and the pony visibly calmed down. To his surprise, it looked like there were some reporters hanging around the entrance to the stage area – and they were pressing for interviews. A yellow mare in a fancy suit trotted up to him.

"Hi, I'm Starshine," she said breathlessly. "We'd love to put you in for an interview in the Manehattan Times – are you interested?"

Jeremy was a bit taken aback by her excited manner, and frankly more than a little confused. "…Sure?" he said, not really conscious of what he had just signed up for.

"Great, I'll see you right here at six o' clock tomorrow!" she said, and sped off again. Jeremy frowned. He would have to make a note of that. Also, did he just agree to an interview? Ugh. Jeremy really hoped it wasn't too sensationalist.

Cadance was there, and she smiled at him as he went backstage to wait with the others. Discord gave him an enthusiastic cheering from the middle of the crowd, and just before he stepped out of view, Jeremy mockingly blew him a kiss, to which Discord pretended to blush and fall over. Two could play at that game. Sitting backstage with the others, Jeremy waited.

Finally, it was his turn. Jeremy confidently walked on stage, and right on time, his suit started playing. Jeremy started singing, and caught the eye of Luna, who was so far backstage as to be almost invisible. For a while, all he could perceive was the sound of his own voice and the look on her face – it was almost like the bloodlust he had demonstrated earlier, except this felt really good, and he didn't feel like he was about to pass out. "Tell me again, was it love at first sight? When I 'walked by', and you caught my eye… Didn't you know love could shine this _bright_? Well, smile because you're the deer in the headlights!" As he looked on, Luna was visibly sniffling – hopefully out of joy, or something. He decided to put it out of his mind and keep singing, and it was as perfect as he could hope for.

**A/N: Song was "Deer in the Headlights", by Owl City.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: IMPORTANT: This is the NSFW chapter (there will be human/pony sex). If you aren't into that sort of thing, skip this now and a rough chapter summary will be provided in Chapter 14. You have now been warned twice, and will only be warned if it happens again.**

**Chapter 13**

9-20-13, 10:42 P.M.

Jeremy stepped off the stage, and Luna was there instantaneously, returning the hug he had given just a few days earlier. "That was a beautiful choice of song," she said.

Jeremy grinned, blushing slightly. "Thanks," he replied awkwardly.

Luna cocked an eyebrow at him. "'Pepper spray'?" Jeremy laughed.

"Hey, you weren't exactly raring to make friends when we first met!"

Luna chuckled to that. "What about the last part – something about you being sorry you ever tried?"

Jeremy nervously kicked at the ground. "Well, the meaning behind that is… well… you live for a few thousand years, right?" Luna nodded uncertainly. "Well, I'm going to live for probably about 70 or so more years – and I'm not sure I want you to see me get old and… die, I guess."

Luna bowed her head. "It has long been a curse of alicornhood, that any partner not of our own cannot outlive us. Well…" Luna appeared to want to continue, but stopped herself.

"…Yes?" Jeremy asked after a pause.

"Nothing," Luna answered unconvincingly. Jeremy suspected she was hiding something – he'd ask later, when they weren't in public. As it was, they were standing outside the stage doors, getting ready to leave. It was a cool fall night, and Jeremy was beginning to wish he had a jacket – winter would probably be very cold.

"Hey, you got some time to hang out later tonight?" Jeremy asked.

Luna smirked. "Depends on what thou have in mind." Jeremy thought for a while. "I don't know – I guess we could play some games together? Unless you had something better," he inquired.

Luna shrugged, and looked at him with a playful smile. "Then it's a date," she said. Jeremy was somewhat surprised – wasn't that a modern phrase? Luna smiled in response. "We have been studying," she informed him. Jeremy laughed, and Luna sauntered off, leaving him alone in the streets of Canterlot.

Jeremy made his way back to the office – he intended to stay up late tonight, so he could always do some work while he set up for two-player games. Not that he had many – most of his game titles were solo adventures, as he rarely had the time to play with others. Nonetheless, a few had co-op features, and he wondered how to reconfigure them so that the two could play on one computer, keyboard and mouse. Dammit. He needed someone with magic. Almost as if on cue, Chrysalis walked through her portal. "Hello, Jeremy," she greeted.

"Hi," Jeremy said back, and inwardly cursed himself for being so uninterested.

"Did you get mental barriers while I was out?" Chrysalis asked curiously. Jeremy nodded.

"You never know when someone might try to snoop," he remarked casually. Chrysalis glared at him.

She hung out for a while longer, occasionally making remarks on his other projects and discussing various aspects of changeling life – she was surprisingly informative on the intricacies of sociality in the hive. Chrysalis continued this way for quite a while, until she paused as if in thought. "Have you two done it yet?" she asked. Jeremy froze in the middle of sketching.

"W…_what_?" he asked. Chrysalis grinned sadistically.

"You know, had sex. Mated? Whatever the term is for procreation in your species." Jeremy blushed intensely – this was not at _all _what he was expecting.

"No, we haven't done… that… yet," he falteringly answered.

Chrysalis looked surprised. "Truly amazing, the restraint of that mare – I thought you two had done it a long time ago. I suppose it makes sense, if one considers the courting customs of a thousand years ago…" Unwilling to continue the conversation, Jeremy tried to think of something else to talk about. Unfortunately, Chrysalis was on a roll. "Say, how does procreation even work amongst your kind? I'd assume it works the same as every other mammal, but hey, you're an alien. Do you even know what a vagina _is_? Are you maybe a hermaphrodite? Or-"

Jeremy held up a hand. "Stop!" he said loudly. Chrysalis immediately clammed up. "First things first: Yes, I'm a mammal. Same rules as every other mammal, and I'm biologically male. Second, why are we _discussing_this?"

Chrysalis laughed uproariously. "I knew I'd get you to crack eventually. Looks like the stone-cold, emotionless alien does have a few conversational weak points…" Jeremy grimaced and slapped a hand to his forehead. The whole thing was Chrysalis trolling him, and he fell for it hook, line and sinker.

"Auuugh. Can you not?" he asked, glaring.

Chrysalis seemed to consider for a while. "Oh, alright – I won't tease you about it."

Jeremy issued a terse "Thank you", and went back to drawing.

Chrysalis suddenly seemed rather uncertain. "Are you… angry at me?" she asked.

"Yeah, a little. I wasn't expecting that, all right? Plus, I'm still trying to work through the whole 'sexual relationship' thing myself," he mumbled.

"Sorry. It's just – you two are a _fascinating_ couple, you know that?" she remarked.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. It's probably all over the tabloids – don't remind me." Chrysalis chuckled darkly.

"You think Equestria's the only nation interested in your love life? My entire hive has been clamoring to hear news of what you two are up to." Jeremy looked at her, alarmed. "Oh, don't worry – I haven't been telling them any stories." He relaxed a bit, and began drawing a dark outline of the sketch, carefully tracing over the lines.

Say, wasn't he supposed to be figuring out how to do two-player? "Hey, change of subject. You see this keyboard, mouse and computer setup?" he asked. Chrysalis nodded. "Would you have enough magic in you to copy that?" To his surprise, Chrysalis nodded. Her horn lit up green, and a second later there was another computer sitting on the table. Jeremy narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Where did you get that kind of magic? That was a pretty complex object…" Chrysalis pawed the ground guiltily.

"I… _may_ have hung around that karaoke place you keep going to. Please don't hate me?" she pleaded. Jeremy smiled. For a queen that was almost as dangerous as she was vain, Chrysalis sure was trying hard to stay on his good side.

"Well, as long as you didn't feed too much, I'll consider Rule 2 still intact," he compromised. Chrysalis smiled. Jeremy thought about what he had to do next, and the obvious social convention presented itself. "Thanks, though," he continued. "That's going to be really useful in a short while."

Chrysalis smirked. "Oh, yes. Your date. I should probably leave you to enjoy that – goodbye!" she replied as she stepped through the portal, out of sight. Jeremy sighed deeply, and went back to drawing.

9-21-13, 3:03 A.M.

A few more hours had passed by, and Luna was due to show up any minute. Jeremy kept nervously glancing out the window, wondering when she would arrive. Just then, it began to rain, and a few scant minutes later thunder and lightning arrived on the scene, so loud that Jeremy could have sworn his own building was being electrocuted. There was a knock on the door…

Jeremy walked over and opened the door. There stood Princess Luna, draped in a soaked overcoat and grinning. Jeremy looked outside – the rain was still coming down by the bucket, and an arc of lightning split the sky every few seconds. He looked back at Luna nonchalantly. "You just had to go for the dramatic entrance, right?" he asked teasingly. Luna walked inside, and levitated her coat onto a nearby table.

"No, this was scheduled – and we forgot until we were amidst it. No matter, we are here and that is all that matters," she promptly answered. Luna walked into his office, and was startled by the second computer.

"Yeah, Chrysalis whipped that up. Did you know she's been hanging around the karaoke place for free love?" Jeremy inquired. Luna's eyes narrowed.

"Is she expecting more of us? We are, after all, providing her entire kind with a means of food…" Jeremy shrugged.

"According to her, she didn't feed too seriously – but you're right, we should keep an eye on that." Luna nodded somberly. Jeremy sat down in front of the second computer, and began making an online account for Luna – but he was quickly stumped by the fact that he needed Internet to confirm the account.

He mentioned this to Luna, who smiled and used magic on the computer. Nothing obviously changed, so Jeremy looked at Luna confusedly. "Sign in with thine own account," she prompted. Rolling with it, Jeremy quickly typed his username and password, and after a moment of working, it signed in. He then checked the original computer, to see if it had auto-logged out the way he expected it to – and to his surprise, it hadn't. Luna motioned for him to move, so she could sit down. "We edited the code so thou could be logged in two places at once," she explained.

"That sounds difficult," Jeremy remarked, and Luna laughed.

"Not at all – we had to disable a few lines, nothing more." Jeremy shrugged, and started a game. Immersed in the loading screen, he looked up and was surprised to find that they had switched places – he was now sitting on the edge of Luna's bed, in her room in the castle. Luna sat next to him, smiling. "I will never get used to that," Jeremy muttered, earning a chuckle from Luna. He then stretched into a more comfortable position on the bed, and Luna did the same. Finally, the game was ready to go.

They played for at least an hour – Jeremy walking Luna through the more difficult parts, and Luna quickly learning the mechanics of the game until she was able to find the solution faster than he was. Throughout the game, Jeremy couldn't stop thinking of the conversation he had had earlier with Chrysalis – and judging by the looks Luna was giving him, he wasn't being exactly subtle with his thoughts either. Finally, after finishing her part of the puzzle, she put down her controller and looked at him. "Art thou a virgin?" she asked bluntly, and part of Jeremy wished once again that he could just vanish from the universe. Unfortunately, whatever cardinal forces ruled this one were rather obstinate towards his desire, and he remained existent.

"I, uh… yes?" he answered. Luna rolled over.

"Wouldst thou like us to… fix that?" she asked seductively, flicking her tail. Jeremy blushed intensely, and thought of what to say. There was no possible way to say no – he couldn't let her down like that. At the same time, though, for all the airs of nonchalance he put up, for all the calm and collected attitude he possessed, Jeremy was still squeamish about the thought of sex with her – or anybody, for that matter. Oh, to hell with it, he decided. Nobody could think worse of him than they did already.

"Y – yes," he answered, mumbling with embarrassment.

Luna smiled, and her horn lit up. A second later, all his clothes were gone, and Jeremy felt himself blush even deeper – at this rate, one could probably fry an egg on his face. Luna placed a hoof on his stomach, and trailed it down towards his groin – he was already ready to go, judging by the looks of things. Luna blushed as she saw his erection. "Thou art very… _gifted_ in this area," she said, giggling slightly.

This more than anything snapped Jeremy back to semi-coherency. "Really? I thought all the stallions would be so much bigger than I am," he commented.

"Their proportions make your size acceptable, and if we say so, slightly on the big end," Luna mused. "Still…" she began rubbing her hoof up and down the length, beginning to blush herself. Jeremy stayed perfectly still, unsure if he should move. It occurred to him that he should probably reciprocate, and so he began reaching towards her hind legs, stopping when he felt her labia. Luna looked at him, now blushing almost as furiously as he was. Jeremy gave a weak smile.

"I really don't know what I'm doing…" he said, and gave the area a soft, gentle rub. Luna, shocked, gave out a quiet moan of pleasure and gave herself over to enjoying his touch. "Wait a minute…" Jeremy said, snapping his infrared camera onto his glasses and looking around the room.

"What?" Luna asked, concerned.

"I thought Chrysalis might be snooping around – it would be just like her, and she _did_ know we had a date…" he remarked. "Oh well, back to… what we were doing…"

He laid down again, and Luna bit her lip as he resumed stroking her. He stopped when something poked him from down there, and he looked at her vagina, confused. A small, pink something was popping in and out from between the folds – the clitoris, Jeremy presumed. His suspicion was confirmed when he gave it a small rub and Luna cried out in ecstasy. Jeremy raised both his eyebrows. "Wow. I guess I'm doing something right, huh?" he commented, and Luna nodded eagerly. Time to take it to the next step, he supposed. Carefully, so as not to hurt her, he slipped two fingers inside of her. Luna moaned, and twitched ever so slightly.

"This is much better than our hooves…" she panted as Jeremy moved his fingers in and out of her. It was tighter than he expected – her inner walls were clenching around him fiercely. Jeremy grinned, and continued, until Luna squirmed her way off. Jeremy looked at her, confused, and she spread her legs open. "We are… ready for thou…" she whispered, and looked almost as embarrassed as he felt. Jeremy positioned himself at her entrance, and vaguely remembered that this was his last chance to keep his virginity. What an idiotic idea – if there was anyone he loved, it was her, and he wanted her to know it.

Jeremy gently pushed his way inside, eliciting a gasp from Luna despite his attempts to take it slow. As he made his way inside her, her insides clenched and unclenched, and he was tempted to just stay like that – but she needed to feel good too. Jeremy began moving in and out, and he moaned a little himself – he felt like a flood of happiness was dulling his ability to think. "Luna, I… won't be able to hold out… much longer…" he said haltingly. Luna sat up and kissed him on the lips, and Jeremy was surprised by his first real kiss – her tongue exploring his own with a rigor no amount of battle adrenaline could ever provide. She broke away, smiling.

"Then finish, my love," she purred, and Jeremy nodded. A feeling of white-hot pleasure roared through him as he came inside her, and they laid on the bed together for a while, simply hugging and enjoying each other's company. After a good half hour of resting there, Luna sleepily whispered "Jeremy?" Jeremy looked at her – he honestly couldn't tell if she was awake or not.

"Yes?" he quietly replied.

"Don't ever leave me," she begged.

Jeremy smiled, and hugged her close to him. "Not ever," he promised.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: LAST CHAPTER, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MISSED IT: Jeremy and Luna schedule a gaming date. Jeremy goes back to the office and works on stuff, and Chrysalis trolls him about his sexual preferences. Luna arrives, and teleports them both to her bedroom where they continued playing games. AND THEN THEY SEXED.**

**By the way, there will be more NSFW chapters. You have been warned.**

**Chapter 14**

9-21-13, 1:07 P.M

When Jeremy woke up, Luna was still next to him. She had evidently gotten up and moved, presumably to lower the moon, but was trying to make it look like she hadn't. Jeremy grinned and hugged her closer, and then blushed furiously at the events of the night before. Part of him couldn't believe he went through with it, but part of him was so glad he did. Luna shifted so that she could hug him back – she might be dreaming, but it didn't make it any less of an adorable moment. They stayed like that for a while, and then Jeremy remembered he had work to do. He carefully and gently wriggled his way out of Luna's embrace, tucking the bedsheets further up for her before putting his clothes on – they were in a pile in the corner. Well, at least they weren't gone _entirely_, Jeremy mused. That would have been bad.

Jeremy left via the front door – Celestia once again said nothing, but was she glaring at him? She was just far enough away that Jeremy couldn't quite make it out. Oh well, he thought, and left the castle.

The blustery fall air was refreshing to Jeremy, who had been getting sick of the hot summer days. He headed over to his office, joyfully speedwalking up the stairs into his room. Putting on clean clothes, he took the stairs two at a time and speedwalked his way over to the office.

Chrysalis was waiting, and so was a small, nondescript gray cube on the table. "Finally!" she exclaimed. "What kept you wai-" To Jeremy's discomfort, she sniffed the air.

Chrysalis then laughed, long and hard. "By the hive, you actually went through with it!" Jeremy was by now fairly alarmed.

"How the hell do you know?" he asked, irritated already. Once she finished laughing, Chrysalis wiped a tear from her eye.

"I can smell all that love on you – it's positively intoxicating," she breathed. Unsure what to make of this, Jeremy tugged at his shirt and went over to the love machine.

"So, anyway… might as well explain how this works," he started. Chrysalis stopped giggling and paid attention.

"Dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are synthesized and mixed together in the right ratio. This is then combined with an artificial magic synthesizer – not anything specific, mind you, just raw magical energy – and the whole thing can be either sprayed as an aerosol, or dispensed as a much more powerful liquid. The feedstock for the synthesis can be anything that contains carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and sulfur – so, air works pretty well for everything but the sulfur, which I bet can be found in that awful-looking cloud at the bottom of the hive," Jeremy explained. He picked up the device, and stepped through the portal to her hive.

As soon as he arrived, Jeremy became aware of the stench of hydrogen sulfide – perhaps he hadn't noticed it last time, but the hive had quite a lot of the toxic gas. He went over to the edge of the cave, overlooking the strange pit of yellow-brown gas, and set up the love machine. It occurred to him that he might need a hose – though the synthesis mechanism sucked in gases and solids on its own, the pit was too far down. "Hold on, I need a rubber hose or something," he said to the gathering crowd of changelings, quickly walking back to the portal. Searching around the room, he finally found a suitable length of rubber tubing, and attached it to the synthesis port. The other end was dropped over the edge, swinging gently just above the sulfurous yellow haze. Jeremy then placed the battery – a special design involving nuclear fusion and water – in its compartment, and turned the machine on. As it began to spew pink vapor into the air, many changelings took a few steps forward.

Chrysalis in particular was entranced, and took a cautious whiff of the substance. "It's love, all right!" she happily called back to the rest of the crowd, and they surged forward. Jeremy stayed well back, trying to not breathe too deeply. After she had had her fill, Chrysalis walked over. "Why the reservation? Come join us," she urged. Jeremy shook his head.

"Can't – at those concentrations, I'd either keel over from ecstasy, or just overdose and die. This stuff's toxic in large quantities for us," he explained.

Chrysalis looked at him curiously, and then shrugged. "Your loss, I suppose." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Now, I believe we had a deal?" he asked. Chrysalis nodded, and gave some sort of signal – something like a quiet screech? – to a few changelings who had already gorged themselves. Jeremy went and got his suit on, and a piece of parchment he had drafted up containing the same rules he had outlined to Chrysalis, who was now staring at his suit.

"Why do you need that?" Chrysalis asked. Jeremy shrugged.

"I don't know, doesn't hurt to have it." With that, the group left the changelings to feed themselves.

The group headed out through the portal, and out of Jeremy's office into the streets. Several ponies gasped and shied away, and after noticing Jeremy at the head of the group, the royal guards who were patrolling nervously watched them. Smiling, Jeremy led Chrysalis towards the castle, her entourage guarding her from all directions.

The trip to the castle was, as usual, a short one. Celestia immediately jumped off her throne, ready to fight the moment she saw Chrysalis, but Jeremy quickly got between them, shotgun in hand. "Enough. Don't you remember why we're here?"

Celestia glared at him, and Jeremy glared right back. "I still think this is a horrible idea," she stated.

"Since when was peace ever a bad idea? Whatever reservations you might have are based on fantasy and conjecture," Jeremy retorted. The various ponies who had been mulling about their business in the throne room had by now stopped to watch. Celestia grimaced – most of the ponies were nodding in agreement, much to Jeremy's pleasure.

"Fine, I will hear your terms," she replied begrudgingly, and Jeremy handed the scroll to her. "These are… interesting. Very well, I accept," Celestia stated, and signed with a white quill. Chrysalis accepted the scroll back, and summoned an acid-green quill of her own, signing as dramatically as she could.

And with that, it was done. The two rulers shook hooves, each looking the other in the eye and hoping to find weakness. Jeremy stood off to one side, satisfied – it might be a cautious peace, but it was a victory nonetheless.

9-21-13, 5:37 P.M.

Word spread quickly that Chrysalis had agreed to a peace treaty. Strangely enough, word spread just as quickly that Jeremy was involved, and he hoped this wouldn't reach Ponyville. The last thing he needed was Twilight coming down on him. He grabbed a quick dinner, and headed back to the karaoke place – he did have an interview or something to do, right?

To his surprise, he found that in its off time, the karaoke place was a regular bar. They didn't serve any alcohol, but they did serve a variety of fruit juices, some of which seemed to be intoxicative on their own. Maybe they were fermented? Jeremy didn't know, and he didn't want to try.

The pony showed up quickly, and an additional journalist was there as well. "Glad you made it!" she called out as she approached, and Jeremy nodded in response. "So, as you know, we're going to ask you some questions, and just try to answer them honestly." Jeremy nodded again – sounded legit, he thought. He hoped the questions weren't biased.

They took a seat at the bar, and waved off the bartender. "Alright, question number one: What is your home planet like?" she asked, and Jeremy was surprised by the straightforward nature of the question.

"Er…" he said, unsure of how to answer. Suddenly, he was gripped by an overwhelming surge of anger at his home. "Awful," he responded.

The interviewer quirked an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

"Well, on our planet, humans are the only sentient species – other species can make tools, communicate both audibly and inaudibly, and some other higher-thinking traits. But we're the only ones who have all of that. So, what did we do with that advantage?" Jeremy asked rhetorically. "We took over the Earth, made it our own. The population exploded, and in fact, unless we don't do something soon we'll be overpopulated. This wouldn't be so bad, but that's just the beginning. We also invented the money system… and it was promptly abused by royalty and the upper echelons from a multitude of nations. Whole lotta people died because of that, both from being too poor, and then from being too rich when the poor decided they had had enough. Eventually, we reached a balance where there existed a 'middle class' – neither peasants nor lords, and that's where I come from. There were also a few wars over religion, which is basically a system of beliefs on why the world is what it is. Some people didn't like some other people's opinions, and they decided to kill each other for it. Sounds fun, right?"

The interviewing pony – he just remembered, her name was Starshine – was by now thoroughly alarmed, but Jeremy hadn't nearly had his fill. "Yeah. Religious wars alone have probably killed more people on our planet than any other social conflict. Plenty of other types of wars going on, too – mostly political. One such was over some relatively small island ruler who had amassed a lot of power – in fact, he ruled over a few continents by this point. One such continent was so far away, it was called the "New World" – and compared to the other lands, it had only been officially discovered fairly recently. After murdering quite a lot of the original inhabitants with a combination of "land ownership" claims enforced by guns, and disease, the new occupants of the New World decided they didn't want an overseas king, or really a king in general, because he was kind of being a jerk. They declared war, won, and that was the beginning of our country, the United States of America." Starshine was furiously scribbling notes. "It was a great idea at first – a democratic constitution, that could be changed by voting that was equalized both between states and population. If we had stuck to the letter of the law, that would've been a pretty sweet place to live." Jeremy stared wistfully for a while.

"But no, once again, the people in charge had to have their little bonuses. I'm not going to go into all the details of what they did and are doing, but I will tell you what I think is one of the worst. It's called "gerrymandering" – and it means this: Politicians can _redraw the districts that vote for them,_ to only include their favored voters. They stay on their political perches forever because of this. And no one cares, or even really knows this is happening." Starshine frowned. "Wow. That does sound terrible." Jeremy waved a finger. "Believe it or not, I'm still not even done with how horrible our planet is. You see, when America was just starting out, it needed an economy. Turned out growing plants like tobacco and cultivating corn worked pretty well, so they did that. But they didn't have enough people to do it themselves – well, okay, they did, but not efficiently. So, naturally, the only solution was to exploit the labor of another continent, called Africa. We took hundreds and hundreds of their population, against their will, and imprisoned them to work for life without pay – the birth of the slave industry."

Starshine was horrified, and Jeremy grimly pressed on. "As if this weren't bad enough, justifications started to pop up – our darker-skinned brothers were 'inferior', or 'born of the devil' because their skin color was different. Even after our nation had a civil war that temporarily tore the country in half before the anti-slavery side won, that prejudice lasted through to just a few decades ago, when someone finally protested these ideas. Even then, racism is still around today – but we Americans love to claim that we support 'liberty and justice for all', it's even in our pledge we make to our flag every morning. Not only that, we also held the notion that males were somehow superior – they owned all the property, could punish their wives as they saw fit, and were masters of the house. Girls couldn't be educated on practical manners until just a hundred years ago, as at the time, what they needed to learn was cooking and cleaning. Only in the past fifty years or so has any progress been made in _that_direction." Starshine twirled a quill nervously. "Please tell me that's everything," she replied. Jeremy solemnly shook his head. "Nope, although we're getting there. Let's see, I've covered wealth, race, war, gender… oh yeah, sexuality. How could I forget?"

Starshine was confused. "What's wrong with your sexuality?" Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Remember that 'religion' thing I mentioned a while back? One of the more popular one's book got misinterpreted in a certain spot to say that if someone was gay, or preferred same-sex relationships, they should be killed." Starshine clapped a hoof to her mouth. "Yep. So, that was what they did up until just a few decades ago, when someone had the brilliant idea that maybe we shouldn't kill someone for their type of love, and that religion really shouldn't be enforcing these kinds of rules anyway – as it's supposed to be about love and tolerance? Not only that, recently we discovered that sexuality wasn't just limited to gay and straight – there's a whole spectrum. Now we include bisexuals, who prefer male or female, transsexuals, who don't identify as the gender they were born with, asexuals, who don't do sex at all, pansexuals, who have no sexual preferences whatsoever, and a few others that I don't remember. And of course, some people refuse to accept they exist too – which is an insult in itself." Jeremy sighed, and breathed deeply. "Okay, I'm done."

Starshine finished her notes. "Wow. So, I guess you aren't too happy about all this, hmm?"

Jeremy narrowed his eyes. "No. No, I'm not." Starshine closed up her papers, and slid off the stool.

"Well, that alone oughta keep us busy writing for a while – can I see you next week too? We didn't get to discuss any other questions – I wasn't expecting quite a long answer…."

Jeremy grinned, slightly embarrassed by his vitriolic tangent, true though it was. "Yeah, sure."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

9-22-13, 3:06 P.M.

Jeremy relaxed in his office, reading the Manehattan Times. His interview had made it into the paper immediately, and he was pleased with the results: They didn't make assumptions, they didn't speak for him – it was pretty clean journalism, all in all. Luna had quickly checked in last night to make sure the changeling escapade went well, and he assured her that all was going smoothly. After that, she teleported a single computer back to its original location and left to do her own thing. Frankly, Jeremy couldn't believe he had just reconciled two bitter enemy nations – then again, a lot of stuff he had done recently was unbelievable. Folding up the newspaper, he cast about for something else to read – the game was still loading, and he needed something to do. His eye fell on the karaoke brochure – not exactly new material, but maybe he missed something? He was beginning to develop an awful habit of not reading important documents.

Much to his dismay, he had indeed missed something – there was to be a third night, where a most-popular newly formed couple would sing a closing song for the crowd. Jeremy rolled his eyes – he wasn't arrogant, but if he and Luna weren't the most popular couple, he would be very surprised. Plus, of course the third night was tonight – when else? So, time to think of a song…

Jeremy scrolled through the list of songs he knew – thankfully, Luna had copied over his music files as well. When he or Luna had sang before, the songs had _meant_ something – some subtle symbolism that only they would understand. So, what would compliment her Carly Rae impression and his Owl City? Oh. _Oh_. Jeremy scrolled down, grinning. Perfect.

The game loaded, and he took out another weapon and began drawing it, pausing a moment to fight off some enemies that had spawned. Jeremy liked drawing weapons, almost as much as he liked making replicas of them. A thought occurred to him: Why didn't he ever see the design team? Maybe they worked in the morning? He'd have to ask Luna when she showed up – she had promised to meet him tonight, presumably to break the news about the third night. Jeremy sighed, somewhat displeased with his sketch, and set it to the side before starting a new one.

He vaguely remembered he had another interview scheduled – again at six. Then, he had to go to dinner and meet up with Luna, who he'd hang out with until about ten o'clock, when they had to be at the karaoke place. Not only that, he had to finish this drawing – and he was just _not_ getting this goddamn perspective right. Jeremy groaned in frustration, erasing yet more lines.

9-22-13, 5:54 P.M.

A few hours later, he headed back to the karaoke bar for another interview. Starshine was already waiting, ready to go – she led him inside as soon as he arrived. "Wow, our article yesterday was really popular!" gushed Starfire. Jeremy wished he could emulate that enthusiasm – truly, it was something to behold. He smiled in response.

"Yeah, I read it too. Good job." Starfire beamed.

"Thanks. Okay, so, next question: What do you think of Equestria so far?"

Jeremy smiled – finally, an easy question. "Oh, man. Don't even get me started – this place is too great to quantize." Starshine grinned, and Jeremy continued. "The monarchs are nice, they care about the civilians, there's basically no crime, the education system looks great, the economy isn't exploited, there isn't any prejudice, just… I think this qualifies as a utopia back home. It's amazing!" Jeremy finished, by now openly smiling.

"And yet, there's plenty of evil along with that good," Starshine reminded him. Jeremy grimaced.

"Sure. But all the good and evil is so well separated. Back on Earth, there's almost no one you can point at and say 'They're good' or 'They're bad' because everyone is just so morally gray. They have some good morals, some bad ones, and a whole lot of neutral ones. Here, you can tell when someone's evil – it's really obvious."

Starshine searched her papers for another question to ask, evidently pleased by his answer. "Okay, last question for the day. What do you think of Princess Luna?" Jeremy laughed.

"Is this a setup? Is she going to burst down the door if I don't answer correctly?" he joked. Starshine laughed along with him. After settling down, Jeremy actually answered the question. "She's… intelligent, funny, cute, everything I could possibly ask for in a girl and so much more."

Starshine smiled at this, writing more notes. "Nice. Anything else you want to say?"

Jeremy considered for a while. "Not really." And with that, Starshine and her assistant gathered up their notes.

"That's all we have for a while – if we find any other questions, we'll find you." Jeremy nodded, and the two groups left.

Jeremy walked over to the castle for dinner. He was rather pleased about this interview – it wasn't so harsh as the last one. He took a seat in the royal dining hall, and waited for the meal to be served. Luna quickly arrived, and sat next to him – this was unusual, as typically the princesses were situated at the end of the table. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hello," Luna jovially replied. The course was served – it appeared to be some sort of cooked salad? Jeremy shrugged and tried it. It was good, as always – the cuisine here defied all his expectations. Ordinarily he was a bit nervous about eating with the upper echelons of society – all that stereotyping about the plethora of utensils was true here. However, Jeremy was usually able to guess what each one was for, and asked if he had no idea. As for manners, he did try somewhat, though he rarely thought others were impressed with his table skills.

They finished dinner, and Jeremy and Luna walked out, heading up to her room. "Welp, we've got time to kill before the third karaoke night," Jeremy mentioned. Luna looked at him askance.

"So thou actually read about that. Good, we were hoping not to break the news a third time." Jeremy chuckled.

"I plan ahead. Sometimes." Luna laughed in response, and opened her door.

They relaxed on the bed, playing through a singleplayer campaign. Although his job was fun, Jeremy reflected, it was nice to actually just play games every once in a while. Luna seemed utterly at ease, stretching and watching the screen. As the next level loaded, Jeremy handed the keyboard over to Luna, as they were switching every level. Jeremy watched for a while, sleepy, and put his hand on Luna's side, gently rubbing it. She seemed a bit startled, but a moment later allowed him to continue. A moment later, she had paused the game and was laying on her back, evidently in ecstasy. "How are you _doing_ that?" she asked. Jeremy very seriously wanted to laugh – it seemed ponies were especially weak to belly rubs. It was so cute.

"No, I'm not continuing, I've been doing this for an hour now, my hands are tired," Jeremy said as he stopped.

Luna pouted. "But it felt so _good_!" Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"I'd better stop before you get addicted." They continued playing the game for a short while, both blushing slightly.

"So… what would you think about marriage?" Luna prompted out of nowhere. After taking a moment to make sure he had heard correctly, Jeremy adopted a more serious look.

"Girl, I'm like, sixteen years old – way too young for that. Humans usually don't marry until they're nineteen to twenty-one years old, if I remember right." Luna looked upset.

"Does that mean we have to wait three years at least?" Jeremy shrugged.

"If I ever decide to go home, I'll look it up. Besides, I'd be… uncomfortable with marriage this early on." Luna reluctantly nodded, and Jeremy gave her a small hug. "Relax, the answer isn't 'no'." She smiled and returned the hug. "Hey, I got an idea for the song we could sing tonight," Jeremy mentioned.

"Do tell," Luna replied, interested. Jeremy clicked on a file in his music folder, and Luna listened attentively. Then she smiled. "Perfect," Luna complimented.

Jeremy nodded. "I thought it'd be nice for a closing song." Luna agreed, and left for a short while to rummage through the workshop.

Jeremy watched, curious, as she pulled out what appeared to be a second copy of the love machine. "We had the idea that the changelings should be allowed to attend – under the promise that they only fed from here."

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "Gonna be hard to resist all the love in the air, don't you think?" Luna grinned.

"And therein lies the challenge – let's see if they can resist the temptation." Jeremy gave her a devilish smile. This was going to be good.

He stepped through the portal, greeting a surprised Chrysalis. "What do you want?" she snapped, before realizing it was him. "Oh, my mistake. I thought you were someone else," she amended hastily.

Jeremy waved a hand, dismissing her apology. "Yeah, that's fine. Hey, listen – you know that couples' karaoke thing? You and a few changeling friends are invited."

Chrysalis stared at him. "By who?" she finally asked.

"Me and Luna, who else?" Jeremy impatiently replied. "Anyway, we have to go soon, but you guys can show up at the normal time. There'll be a love machine there, so don't feed off the ponies. See you there, I hope!" And with that, he stepped back through the portal.

A short time later, they headed out for the third and final night of karaoke. Jeremy took the infrared camera attachment for his glasses, and his suit. He and Luna chatted animatedly along the way, to the interest of passersby – though Jeremy could tell they were trying to hide it.

As they arrived, Jeremy clipped on the infrared camera to his glasses, and began looking around. No sign of Chrysalis yet, but he thought she would show up later. Carrying the love machine, Jeremy stepped inside and walked over to a refreshments table, placing the machine in the drinks section and hastily scribbling a sign that this was for changelings only, and for the other ponies to keep out. Just to make sure, he drew a biohazard logo on the sign and his signature, and made sure it was well away from the other drinks. Finally, he took out a small vial of sulfur that Luna had picked up along with the machine, and inserted it into a collection nozzle.

The audience began to pile in. Some were regular ponies, a significant portion were disguised changelings, and a rare few were undisguised changelings, making the hall surprisingly crowded. Chrysalis herself was undisguised, regally striding along before taking her seat at the front of the seats. To Jeremy's surprise, Celestia had attended as well, glaring at Chrysalis when she thought no one was looking. She caught Jeremy's eye, and he stared at her, one eyebrow raised. She turned around, not acknowledging his presence. Jeremy frowned – was she actually still angry at him? This seemed to be going well, in his opinion. Maybe he should meet with her and apologize later – perhaps this was all too sudden of a turn of events for her, or something like that.

The same announcer as from the previous two events walked onto the stage. "Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the two hundred and twenty-fifth annual Couples' Night Karaoke, Day Three. It has been my great honor to observe our newly formed romantic partners, and it is now my privilege to announce the most popular, so that they may sing a closing song." She opened a wax-sealed envelope, and after pausing for a moment to turn it right side up, she read "Would Princess Luna and the human Jeremy come onto the stage?" Jeremy and Luna got up from their seats to tumultuous applause – and Jeremy was surprised to notice that a significant portion of that applause was coming from the changelings.

Finally, all were quieted down, and Jeremy took the microphone. "This is a song that I thought fit rather well for Closing Night, and I'm glad I get to sing it. Feel free to join in on the chorus!" And with that, his suit started to play the music. He and Luna took their respective positions, and he began to sing. "Woke up on the right side of the bed – what's up with this prince song inside my head? Hands up, if you're down to get down tonight~!"

The song was very upbeat and cheery, and the audience reflected this – Jeremy couldn't spy a single frown. Even Celestia was smiling and nodding her head to the beat, if only slightly. They joined in perfectly on the second chorus, and were silent when they needed to be – Jeremy presumed this was what a music studio's dream come true would be. Was there some magic in the air that only affected singing? Jeremy decided he would have to look into it before shouting out another "It's always a good time!", Luna joining in enthusiastically.

The audience gave them a standing ovation, although it was odd for Jeremy because there was no clapping, only hoof-stomping. Still, it made the place shake – they evidently liked the choice of song. Jeremy paused for a second, and then gave an overdramatic bow, to even more applause, while Luna did the same in her royal manner. With that, they stepped down into the audience.

Chrysalis walked up, sipping a cup of frothing, glowing pink liquid. She gave a sigh of satisfaction. "This is like a candy store," she commented. "So much love… I might have to invade Equestria again just to hold nights like this every night!"

Jeremy lightly punched her in the shoulder. "You do that and Tartarus will be the least of your worries – this is way too tiring to do every night." Chrysalis laughed, and filed out, her changelings in tow.

Jeremy walked up to Celestia, who looked at him expectantly. "Hey, can we schedule some time to talk? I want to go over some stuff," he mentioned.

Celestia looked at him, as if trying to decide his motives. "Absolutely – come in any time tomorrow," she answered, and Jeremy nodded before packing up the love machine and leaving.

**A/N: And that's the last of those karaoke nights. The song is "Good Time", by Owl City ft. Carly Rae Jepsen. I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

9-23-13, 3:07 P.M.

Jeremy relaxed in his office, trying to find a comfortable position. He was bored out of his mind, and quickly running out of things to draw. He had exhausted the available supply of weapons to draw – if he didn't come up with something new soon, he would most likely be out of a job. But what to do? He lounged about for a while, attempting to come up with something and failing miserably. The fact was, he simply didn't have enough cultural experience to draw on for much longer – and while he certainly had a few ideas for original weapons, they were all pipe dreams. He decided to take a break, and checked the portal to the changeling hive – it was still open. Which reminded him – he needed to design a way to turn the portals off. He began drawing on a new sheet of paper, already satisfied that he had found something to do.

He had barely started when there was a knock on the door. Jeremy frowned – he wasn't expecting anyone. He opened the door to find a lime green pony with mint-colored hair, and a beige pony with blue and pink hair – obviously Lyra and Bonbon. "Er… hello," he greeted them. Lyra gave a squeal of joy and held out a hoof. "Hi, my name is Lyra and this is Bonbon! I can't believe I'm meeting a real human!" Oh yeah, Jeremy remembered. This was the background pony, who many believed had an obsession with humans for some reason.

Odd how we predicted that, he thought as he shook her hoof. "I'm Jeremy, nice to meet you." He invited them inside, and they sat down at an unused worktable. "So, what brings you here?" Jeremy asked.

Bonbon rolled her eyes at Lyra. "She's a big fan of humans – no offense, but they're presumed mythical." Jeremy chuckled.

"You know what's ironic? I haven't met a single intelligent species here that wasn't mythical back on our planet." Lyra nodded, eager for more information, so Jeremy continued. "Unicorns? Fictional. Pegasi? Nope, don't exist either. You can guess about alicorns. Ponies do exist, but they're… different. They don't talk, or anything – kind of like how pets are here. Let's see… Dragons are mythical, gryphons too, and I never even heard of draconequii until I started researching this place."

He steepled his fingers, and thought about what to say. "So… what about you? Are there any cool legends about humans I should know about?"

Lyra blushed, and Bonbon laughed. "She's written most of the current works on humans," Bonbon explained. Lyra blushed even harder. "Just a few… stories I wrote," she mumbled.

Jeremy chuckled. "I'd actually like to read those someday, if you don't mind," he responded. Lyra promised she would mail copies over, and shook his hand once more before leaving.

For a moment, he sat at his desk before resuming his drawing. Well, that was… fascinating, Jeremy reflected. It seemed some non-canon interpretations of ponies were actually affecting their personality. Or was it the other way around? Maybe some psychic influence whispered to the viewers about personality traits not yet revealed on the show. Jeremy groaned and attempted to stave off his rising temporal headache by drinking some water. If he was thinking such metaphysical thoughts, it was fairly clear that he was back to being bored. He decided to build something random, and began rummaging through the parts bin in the main work area. A few minutes later, he had pulled out a coil of wire, some huge capacitors, a trigger mechanism, and a small adjustable nuclear power source. Jeremy stared at the fusion battery for a moment – if Earth had even one of these, their energy problems would be solved. Then again, if Earth had a lot of the stuff Equestria had… they would probably just use it to kill each other even faster, wouldn't they.

He went over to the workstation. One in particular was used for prototyping models, as the user could draw a three-dimensional hologram and have it printed out in any material they wanted, provided they inserted the material or its components into a tray. He drew up a simple tube, with both ends open and a handle on one end. While it printed, he went over to the newly formed electronics station – evidently Luna had been looking into more than just his surface thoughts. Or maybe she had done some research of her own – Jeremy did seem to remember that she was the one who built the circuit for the infrared camera. Either way, he began soldering together his pet project. It was fairly simple – the capacitors got wired in parallel, and hooked up to the coil and the trigger, which in turn were hooked up to the battery. When he clicked the trigger, the metal contacts shorted, creating a quick but very strong magnetic field – it was like a coilgun on steroids. The power supply could be adjusted to output any current he wished, so he set it to one amp for testing. Grabbing a nail from the parts bins, he placed it to the side before walking over and grabbing the freshly printed 'gun' part. The plastic was lightweight, but durable. Jeremy walked over to the glue station, and grabbing a tube of industrial strength, fast-setting glue, went outside and used the heat of the sun to evaporate the glue solvent and attach everything that much quicker. Ten minutes later, it was dry and ready for testing. Jeremy walked back inside, grabbed the nail, and placed it down the barrel before puzzling over where to aim. In the end, he decided on the ground – it was better than shooting holes in the walls. He aimed the barrel just a little downward so the nail wouldn't fall out, and clicked the trigger. The nail shot out much faster than his eye could follow, and he concernedly looked for where it had landed. To his surprise, he found only a small hole in the ground, angled about where he shot from – the nail had dug right through the earth. Jeremy didn't want to dig it up, so he placed the gun on an empty workstation and labeled it before going back to drawing.

9-23-13, 6:47 P.M.

Dinner had been nice – he had grabbed a grilled vegetable sandwich, and had been pleasantly surprised at the flavor combination. As he walked back into the office, he noticed another box waiting for him, right next to the coilgun. Next to that was a note. "This 'coilgun' is very intriguing – it is such a simple weapon… Keep up the good work! I hope you like your present – we only just got around to boxing it. Love, Luna," Jeremy read aloud. Aw yeah, a present. He grabbed a knife and tore the box open, noting that the package was much longer than it was wide. In the box were a pair of white boots, with black heel braces bent into an upside-down question mark. Jeremy was inordinately pleased – he had to start making up for these ridiculously amazing presents to Luna somehow. Inside was another note, so before he put them on, Jeremy picked that up and read it. "Maybe try these out with the suit?" was written in Luna's typical dark blue, cursive writing. One of the many things Jeremy was embarrassed about was his writing – it looked like chicken scratch compared to hers. Oh well. He went over and got on the suit, and then slipped the boots on over that. It was a little difficult to walk using just the balls of his feet, but the brace in the back certainly helped – it was sturdy and almost inflexible, made of what could have been rubber. Just then, Jeremy remembered he had to go talk to Celestia – he didn't have time to undress, so he immediately set off for the castle. It was a short walk, but there were plenty of stairs and places to jump, so he got some practice in with the boots. As expected, he felt not a single jolt of shock from landing – it was like he was taking steps, only his feet were both off the ground. As soon as he entered the castle grounds, the sun lowered and the moon rose. At this point, Jeremy was used to the sudden change. He headed towards the throne room, noting that less ponies were out and about in the castle at night. He vaguely wondered if Luna had enough company, but remembered she had her own guards.

Celestia greeted him with a small smile when he entered. "Greetings, Jeremy," she stated, then waited for him to approach. Jeremy did so, feeling like he was about to enter on a noble quest or something.

"So, yeah, I wanted to talk to you about the whole changeling business. I know I was being rash, but I saw a solution I thought worked for everybody, and I made it happen before you made it impossible to happen," Jeremy explained. Celestia nodded serenely.

"I suppose that makes sense, but next time give me a little heads-up when you think of something like that – until Luna told me about your interesting design for the love machine, I could have sworn you were under Queen Chrysalis' spell." Jeremy nodded – understandable. Celestia appeared to be examining his getup. "Say, where did you get those boots?" she noted.

"Oh, these? I just got them today. Luna made them for me, and they are amazing." Oddly, Celestia's expression darkened somewhat upon hearing her sister's name – but only for a moment, before returning to normal.

"I suppose Luna makes a lot of things for you?" she asked, her tone carefully modulated to sound serene and wise as usual.

Jeremy had the distinct feeling he had done something wrong, but wasn't entirely sure what. "Yeah, we make a lot of stuff together – I do the drawing, she does the building, and then I do the testing," he mentioned casually. Clearly this was the wrong thing to say, as Celestia once again twitched with anger, not quite fast enough to be a spasm but not slow enough to be easily noticeable.

"You must really care for her," Celestia noted.

"Yes… I do," Jeremy replied, by now thoroughly uncertain where this conversation was going.

"Could you care for me in the same way?" Celestia asked, a hint of seduction creeping into her voice. Jeremy was officially alarmed – was Celestia_ hitting on him_?

"I… appreciate the offer… but I'm already boyfriend to Luna, so I'm gonna have to say no," he answered. This time, Celestia's fury stayed on her expression.

"Is she better than me? How? I am the protector and ruler of this land – there is none better than I!" Her expression wild, she sprang off her throne and faced him, wings outstretched threateningly. "How dare you reject me for her!"

Jeremy decided that now would be an excellent time to run. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but those are my feelings, and I am outta here," Jeremy said, backing away. Celestia almost looked as though she would follow through and attack him, but then her wings and head drooped down, and she adopted an expression that suggested she was about to cry. Jeremy, unsure of how sincere she was being, continued backing out the door, and as soon as he was out booked it into the night, heading for the office.

What the hell? What the actual _hell_? was the only thought Jeremy could process as he slowed his pace to a jog. Clearly he had made some social misstep – but what? As far as he knew, Jeremy was within his rights not to leave Luna for Celestia. That was the point of romantic love – together for life, right? He was so confused. It occurred to him that if there was anyone who could help him with his romance problem, it was Chrysalis – and she was right around the corner, so to speak. Jeremy checked her room – Chrysalis still wasn't there. He ventured out into the changeling hive, still not seeing her. He noticed that less changelings were gathered around the love machine – some were clustered around the edge of the chasm, looking down. Jeremy walked over and joined them, looking down himself. To his surprise, Chrysalis was on a lower ledge about thirty feet down, speaking with a larger, male changeling, who appeared to be holding a changeling baby. This Jeremy had to see, so he decided to put his newly made Long Fall Boots to a more serious test, and jumped down. He landed with a small thump, once again feeling nothing. Now that he was down here, he could hear the conversation.

"But Chrysalis - !" the male changeling protested.

"Silence, drone! I will be obeyed. You know the rules – we must curtail production of larvae. We are no longer at war." The drone lowered his head in submission, and flew off.

Chrysalis turned around, noticing Jeremy leaning against a cave. "Hello again. What brings you all the way down here?" she asked.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "It wasn't that far down. Anyway, I was hoping I could get your advice on something." Chrysalis smirked.

"Romantic problems?" Jeremy tentatively nodded, and Chrysalis laughed. "You're asking the queen of changelings on love advice! This is rich. Very well, I'll help you." She flew up to the ground-level ledge, and Jeremy looked up, stupidly remembering that he couldn't get back up easily. Well, there were convenient handholds from the odd ovoid holes that pockmarked the hive walls. He cracked his knuckles, and began climbing up the wall. A few minutes later, he was on top, panting from the effort.

"You know… you could have… teleported me… to save time…" he panted. Chrysalis chuckled.

"But then I wouldn't get to watch you be so landlocked – it's hilarious!" Jeremy groaned, and followed her to her personal hive.

Chrysalis took an extremely suggestive pose on the floor, almost mockingly seductive in nature. "So, my little romantic grub, what's the problem?" Jeremy, after hesitating for a moment, took a seat in front of her and began to explain.

"…And then I got the hell out of there," he finished. Chrysalis considered his words for a moment.

"And you said the reason you couldn't be with her was because you were already with Luna?" Jeremy nodded. "Interesting… I can see what you did wrong, but her response wasn't right either…" Chrysalis mused.

"Okay, so what did I do?" Jeremy asked, putting aside his apparently shared reservations towards Celestia's personality towards him.

"To put it one way, you were being very rude by rejecting her at all – though… Hmm. How many marefriends do humans normally have back home?" Chrysalis asked seriously.

Jeremy darkly chuckled. "The legal limit on marefriends on Earth is zero – remember we talked about the whole 'sentient-species-only' thing? As for girlfriends, the human term, the limit is one – any more and it's a crime, or something."

Chrysalis nodded understandingly. "And there's your problem – here, there's no such limit," she revealed. Jeremy was visibly surprised by this.

"You can have as many partners as you want?" he asked, alarmed.

"Yes," Chrysalis affirmed.

"Why? I've never seen any evidence of this," he noted.

Chrysalis sat up in a more serious pose. "The population of Equestria is so low, they don't need such limits – the only reason I know of them is observing them in other species. Gryphons, for example, only take one life partner."

Jeremy nodded, semi-interested. "So, when I turned her down, she thought I was being a prude instead of the other way around?" Jeremy asked, to confirm his thoughts. Chrysalis nodded.

"Actually, I was wondering the same thing when you turned me down, a few days ago." Jeremy looked at her.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Anyway, now you know why, and… Sorry, I guess?"

Chrysalis waved a hoof in dismissal. "That's alright. So, with that settled… what are you going to do now?"

Jeremy thought a while. "I suppose I should go explain, again, to Celestia, and apologize… again. And… try not to get incinerated by sun powers? That's pretty high on the list." Chrysalis laughed.

"I know the feeling. All I can say is… tread carefully." Jeremy nodded, and got up and left the cave.

He didn't stick around in the office, instead immediately heading back to his apartment. There, he got on his pajamas, and climbed into bed. Instead of sleeping, he stared at the ceiling, still a little in shock at what he had just learned. Jeremy hoped he was still alive by the end of tomorrow – he had been through a lot, but right now nothing scared him more than talking to Celestia again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

For a moment, when he woke up, Jeremy was still dreaming enough to have forgotten yesterday's events. But as he pulled on his pants, it all came rushing back. Jeremy grimaced. He was _not_ looking forward to talking with Celestia again. Also… polygamy. What. Just _what_. Did that mean he could start taking multiple marefriends? Did he even _want_ to do that? So confusing. Having gotten dressed, he wandered off for lunch.

Lunch was a relatively short affair – a simple peanut butter sandwich was sufficient for him on most days. As he ate, Jeremy considered what to do for the day. Well, he still had to talk to Celestia, obviously. And then there was work… He should probably also visit the hive to check up on the machine… Should probably also meet up with Luna, because it had been a while… Hmm. This day had already turned out to be busier than he had anticipated.

Jeremy headed back to his office, to find that the portal-reset field was ready for testing. In addition, two large, thin stone panels were sitting on a table, a small button jutting out on top. Jeremy pressed one, and a new lime-green portal opened on it, the membrane of the closed portal gently pulsing. He opened the other one, to find that this portal was a more bluish-green. Evidently, the colors meant something, and Jeremy rolled his eyes once he had figured it out. He carried the still-open lime green portal through the original portal set to the hive, and placed it against the wall. Jeremy then propped the teal portal against a wall of the office, and then got to work on the field.

It was relatively simple, consisting of two oblong, gray emitters. Jeremy set them up right in front of the door, and turned it on. The field flickered to life, a sort of web-like pattern slowly moving across it. Jeremy smiled in satisfaction, and went to find the portal gun. It took some searching, but finally he remembered it was under his desk. Grabbing it, he cautiously stuck just the gun through the field. As soon as it reached the back of the gun, his hand felt tingly. As soon as he pulled it out, it stopped, so unless he had just been irradiated, Jeremy felt he was probably fine. He stepped through, and the portal gun flickered, the blue portal on his end disappearing. "Nice," he said, still warming up his voice after sleeping.

Well, he didn't have anything else to do but draw, and he had made enough progress on that yesterday that he felt he should take a few hours off. Jeremy put on his suit and boots, and wandered through the portal to the hive.

The changeling guard was different today – bulkier, and with larger fangs. Jeremy dropped him a nod as he went by, and after some hesitation the guard returned it. Walking out of Chrysalis' room, he noticed that most of the changelings were clustered around the love machine again. Was it good for them to feed constantly like that? he wondered. They didn't seem to be impaired in any way, so he dismissed his concerns. Chrysalis was nowhere to be found – on the ground level, at least. Jeremy spotted what he thought might be her, far above. Jogging back to grab the portal gun, he shot a portal in the space it had been before he had tested the Emancipation Grid and shot another one roughly where she was.

Thankfully, he was getting better at aiming – and the higher walls of the cave were relatively flat. Chrysalis stared at him in surprise as he slowly approached her from the thinner ledge that he had gotten himself onto. She looked rather indignant. "Hey! Wasn't that your only way back?" she asked.

"No, we got a new set of portals specifically for that," Jeremy informed her. At this, she seemed less irritated than before, and went back to her discussion with a regal-looking, presumably male changeling.

"If your… _king _wants to submit a challenge, I'm afraid he'll have to send more than an official notice. After all, what's a threat without proof? Empty. Come back with your finest fighters, and maybe we'll talk." With that, the disgruntled silver-shelled changeling left, and Chrysalis turned to face him again.

"Sorry about that," she apologized politely.

"More political difficulties?" Jeremy asked.

Chrysalis seemed unsure of whether to tell him, then slowly nodded. "After your little… _episode_… our changeling army has effectively disbanded. What we didn't count on was that the other hives have been wanting to challenge me for a while, and have been challenging the throne."

Jeremy sighed. "Great. Just what we needed, more politics." Chrysalis nodded her head.

"Without our changeling army, the hive is worried that we may not be able to sustain my position as queen. If I don't find a suitable replacement in time, I will be dead, and both of our efforts will be for naught."

Jeremy groaned in frustration – what choice did he have now? "Fine, I'll fight for you," he answered.

Chrysalis gave him a joyful grin. "Really? Thank you!"

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "I just don't want to have to go through all that again…" he started explaining, and Chrysalis looked hurt. "Plus, how could I lose my changeling friend?" he finished, chuckling.

Chrysalis semi-indignantly smacked him with a wing. But soon after her expression changed, and she looked almost… relieved? Huh. Jeremy decided to ignore this.

After a short round of small talk, in which Chrysalis assured him that aside from the previous difficulties the hive was doing fine, Jeremy decided to leave. He jumped down to the ground floor – his heart in his throat as he fell what seemed to be over a hundred feet, and promptly landed without so much as a jolt. Jeremy shook his head, and after a second of calming the adrenaline in his legs, strode off for the portal to his office.

When he returned, yet another package was waiting for him – but it was far too small to be anything from the R&D team. He opened it cautiously, to find a stack of papers. Inside was a note reading "From: Lyra – To: Jeremy". Jeremy set the heavy bundle on top of his desk, next to his drawings.

In addition, a note was attached to his computer monitor, this time from Luna. "Please come back to the office after hours – the R&D team wants to say hello," he read aloud. "Okay," he replied to no one in particular, and set this aside as well. He grabbed the first page of Lyra's story, and began to read.

Halfway through the first page, Jeremy was staring openmouthed. It was a completely modern story, though the main character most likely didn't exist in his world. Maybe. At least, he hoped so – it would put quite the metaphysical spin on things if Lyra turned out to be responsible for their universe just as they had been responsible for hers. With that headache-inducing thought in mind, Jeremy continued reading.

He read on, but couldn't stop thinking about his upcoming meeting with Celestia. She had flipped her lid at him last time they spoke – what would she do now? He put down the story, too irritated and apprehensive to read. What now? It was an hour until dinnertime, so he might as well get it over with. Sighing in frustration, he left, locking the door.

With each step he took approaching the castle, an inner voice was screaming at him to stop. Fortunately, it was his own and not Luna's, so Jeremy didn't have to worry about her misgivings, instead focusing on his own. What if she attacked him? Jeremy wished he remembered his suit, but that would've probably also been a bad idea – he didn't want to put the idea across that he was afraid of her. This was supposed to be a confident and assertive refusal. And it was a refusal – he wasn't willing to put the time and effort into being with such an unstable person, no matter how wise they seemed on the outside.

Finally, he was outside the doors. _Last chance to back out_, he thought to himself. Steeling himself, he opened the door.

Celestia seemed surprised to see him, and she put down some paper she had been writing on. "And what do you want today, Jeremy?" she said, her voice bitter and laced with traces of fury.

"I wanted to explain a bit more about our conversation last night." Jeremy answered calmly. Inside, he was quaking in his shoes.

"Well?" Celestia prompted.

"The thing is, our culture back home is entirely monogamous – I didn't know yours was polygamous until after we spoke, so I was a little shocked you would be asking me such a question," Jeremy explained.

Celestia visibly brightened. "So it's all right then?" Jeremy grimaced. Here came the hardest part.

"No," he stated flatly. Celestia appeared shocked. "You're a bit too… unstable for my tastes. I thought something was up when you attempted to interrogate Chrysalis, but your outburst last night basically proved it. Until you calm yourself down, I'm not going to associate with you." With that, he turned around and quickly left, noting the look of shock and hurt on Celestia's face.

What had he gotten himself into now? Jeremy reflected over a plate of fries and grilled vegetables. Should he go back and apologize? No, that would seem weak. But what else could he do? Maybe he'd get lucky, and she would actually calm herself down or something. Jeremy smirked. Yeah right. He knew all about psychotic girlfriends from some of his relatives' past experiences – they could pretend like no others. Well… damn. Jeremy supposed he would just wait and see how this played out.

He headed back to the office to find a few night pony guards waiting for him. "Oh, hello," Jeremy greeted. To his surprise, they saluted him, and one opened the door for him. Smiling slightly and now very confused, Jeremy went inside.

He found his coilgun propped up on a table, with a box of nails beside it. No one else was in the room. Just then, the sky switched from day to night, and the guards filed in, taking seats opposite him. One, with more elaborate armor than the others, cleared her throat. "We're the research and development team. Nice to finally meet you, human." The others chimed in with their assent.

"Oh. Nice to meet you too, then," Jeremy responded back, just beginning to understand what was going on.

Luna chose that moment to teleport in right next to Jeremy, nearly startling him off his chair. She chuckled at his reaction. "We would like you to demonstrate this 'coilgun'," she informed him.

"Ah. Okay… I guess I can do that," Jeremy replied, picking up the weapon in question and pointing at various parts. "It uses a rapid pulse of electromagnetic energy, generated by these capacitors, to accelerate any ferromagnetic projectile placed in the barrel. The power source is this fusion battery, and it can probably fire a few thousand times before needing a recharge." He took a nail and placed it in the barrel, flicking on the switch and waiting for the capacitors to charge. "Anything you want me to hit?" he asked Luna, who shrugged.

"Why don't thou try there," she asked, pointing at a table at the other end of the room. Jeremy aimed carefully, and pressed the button. The nail made a small nosie as it exited the barrel in a blur, embedding itself deeply into the aforementioned table. This delighted the guards, as they began excitedly muttering.

"So, there you go. It can fire anything made of iron or steel, and doesn't require any maintenance besides recharging," Jeremy finished, placing the coilgun on the desk. "Any questions?"

One guard raised his hoof, and Jeremy looked at him. "Do you use these back on your planet?" the guard asked. Jeremy shook his head dejectedly.

"Unfortunately, we don't have infinite energy or magic – this fusion battery here is a pipe dream for us," he answered. There were no more questions, so he put the coilgun away and the R&D team filed out, claiming they had to eat. Finally, it was just Jeremy and Luna, alone in the office once again.

Luna looked at him devilishly. "So, what is new with thou?"

Jeremy anxiously frowned. "Well, Celestia's really, really ticked off at me, because I spurned her advances."

Luna was openmouthed for a second. "She attempted to seduce you?"

Jeremy chuckled nervously. "Not quite… She said she wanted to pursue a relationship with me as well, and when I said I was already with you, she started having some sort of tantrum. Then I learned from Chrysalis that polygamy is the thing here, and went to talk to her again. I turned her down again, because I don't think I want to be with her if she's that unstable. And that's everything." Jeremy stared apprehensively at Luna, waiting for her reaction.

"And she… 'flipped out'?" Luna queried, reading his thoughts.

"Yeah – if I hadn't left, I seriously think she would have attacked me," Jeremy clarified.

Luna appeared to be deep in thought. "We will speak with her – surely there is some alternative cause than your conduct," Luna thought aloud.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it," Jeremy said, relieved she wasn't angry with him.

"Now… We believe we owe thou something for that stomach rub thou gave us last night," Luna mentioned seductively. Jeremy nervously tugged at his shirt collar.

"Ehehe…" his voice trailed off, unsure of her intent.

"We recently had a massage, and wanted to see if thou would like one," Luna informed him.

"Oh. Sure?" Jeremy answered, and an instant later, they were once again transported to Luna's bedroom.

"Now lie on thy stomach, and relax," Luna instructed him. Jeremy complied, unsure what she was going to do until he felt her digging her hooves into his back, almost enough to hurt but not quite.

"What are you- Oooohhh yessss," Jeremy interrupted himself as a sensation of pure, relaxed bliss settled throughout his spine. He hadn't felt this good in years. Half asleep, he allowed Luna to continue, and she was evidently enjoying his comfort.

A loud crack snapped him back to reality, and Luna jerked away, staring at him. "Art thou alright? Did we break something?" she worriedly asked.

Jeremy dismissed her concerns. "It's fine, my joints do that a lot. Keep going, please." After a moment's hesitation, Luna resumed her massage, and Jeremy settled back into utter, calm relaxation.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

9-25-13, 12:47 P.M.

Jeremy woke up in his own bed, which was confusing. He still felt so _good_ from the massage yesterday. In fact, as Jeremy rotated his joints and spine, not a single crack was heard – evidently he was as flexible as could be right now. Hell yes, he thought, and sprang out of bed.

It was a quiet Wednesday as Jeremy read more of Lyra's script. He kept being surprised at the little details she had gotten – although she seemed to use "technology" as some sort of catch-all noun or adjective, rather like the use of 'magic' back home. Feeling slightly unsettled, Jeremy put away the stack of paper, saving his place.

With no more inventions to develop for the day, he lazed about, before deciding to go to the hive. Why not? He could have some fun with the portal gun, and also check up on Chrysalis and her political troubles. Really, he just wanted something to do. Man, he was bored.

Changelings had gotten used to the sight of him – they no longer looked at him like they wanted to bite him to death, or flee in terror. It was actually kind of relieving, Jeremy reflected as he traversed a ledge along the upper walls, searching for Chrysalis. Some even waved a wing or hoof in greeting. He waved back, smiling, and continued on.

He finally found Chrysalis inside one of the glowing green, gigantic pustules attached to the ceiling. She was cradling a baby changeling, singing what appeared to be a lullaby to it in a language of hissing and sibylline whispering. Jeremy watched for a moment, giving Chrysalis a small smile when she looked up. Chrysalis gently laid the murmuring infant back inside a hole in the wall, half taken up by a small cocoon. "Cute," Jeremy mentioned, and Chrysalis returned his smile.

"As queen, I personally oversee every wriggler we hatch," she replied.

"Anyway, I got bored, and decided to hang out here," Jeremy offhandedly informed her.

"Huh – Equestria must be pretty boring if you want to hang out here," said Chrysalis, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, this place is pretty interesting, and I get tired of Canterlot easily," Jeremy answered.

They made their way down to the ground floor. "So, looks like you and Luna have a steady relationship going," commented Chrysalis.

"What makes you say that?" Jeremy replied curiously.

"Please – as if I can't tell. You're still giving off a scent of happiness," Chrysalis answered.

Jeremy blushed. "Oh. No, she gave me a massage last night – a _real_ massage, not the other kind."

Chrysalis looked at him in surprise. "Really? That's sweet of her."

Jeremy nodded. "Well, I did give her a belly rub a while ago, so apparently she wanted to return the favor."

Chrysalis laughed. "A belly rub. Really, you two are just adorable sometimes!" Jeremy blushed even further, causing Chrysalis to laugh harder.

They reached her room, and Jeremy leaned against the wall. "So what about Celestia? Evidently she's pretty mad at you," Chrysalis remarked.

"Yeah… I don't know what to do about that. No way I'm hooking up with her at this rate – she's way too crazy." Chrysalis nodded.

"It isn't like her," she remarked, and Jeremy agreed. Chrysalis appeared to be in thought. "She is beautiful, though…" Chrysalis commented, not without a hint of jealousy.

"Meaning what?" Jeremy asked.

"Well, if I had to pick which one of us you'd be most likely to date for looks alone, it wouldn't be me," Chrysalis answered.

Jeremy glared at her. "I don't hook up with someone just for looks," he angrily answered.

Chrysalis looked at him, this time in consternation. "What do you look for in a romantic partner, then?"

Jeremy thought for a bit. "They've got to be smart – not the empty cultural shells that are everywhere back home. They should also be willing to put up with my shenanigans, unless it's hurtful to them. Uh… They should also be funny? I guess…" Jeremy trailed off, lost in thought.

"So what about me?" Chrysalis asked – and for the first time, it sounded like a genuine question. Jeremy looked up at her.

"I tried to_ kill you_ the first time we met. I also… what was it? Took out your entire army, defeated that giant changeling, and am currently helping you? Whatever you ranted about earlier." Chrysalis chuckled. "Point is, it's complicated," Jeremy answered. "Like, I would date you, but I have no idea of the potential implications of that, plus… I don't know. Still getting over the whole polygamy thing. And what would Luna think?"

Chrysalis nodded sagely, and answered. "First, we can take it as slow as you like – I won't be pressing you for anything. Second, dating a changeling would be unheard of – so there are no implications to speak of. Last, polygamy is easy, because you've already been doing it – you just hang out with both of us fairly regularly. As for Luna, why don't you ask her?"

Jeremy thought about it. "Sure, I guess."

Chrysalis relaxed into laying on her stomach, while Jeremy took a seat against the wall he had been leaning on. "Speaking of Luna, how's she doing?" Jeremy smiled.

"Pretty good – I did a demonstration for a gun I made recently, and we sang the closing song for that karaoke festival thing." Chrysalis laughed, and then got serious.

"Say, do they have the concept of different sexuality on Earth?" Jeremy was confused by the change of topic.

"Yeah, we have a bunch of different types. Why?"

Chrysalis looked at him, grinning. "I was just thinking about how you're technically bisexual for Luna, that's all."

Jeremy looked at her, even more confused. "…What?" he queried.

Chrysalis looked at him openmouthed for a second, and then closed it. "I suggest you ask her – I won't be the one to break it to you." Jeremy's mind raced through all the possibilities of what that could imply, coming up with a blank.

"Uh… Alright then," he answered, still very wrong-footed.

From that, the conversation turned back to mild as they discussed various aspects of their day lives. Jeremy was interested to hear that the changelings had very nearly started worshipping him until Chrysalis put a stop to it, and she was just as interested to hear about his escapades with the various devices he was making. They talked for a few hours, until they heard a commotion outside. Perplexed, Jeremy and Chrysalis ventured outside.

9-25-13, 8:57 P.M.

Royal guards were attempting to enter the hive, and a horde of changelings were holding them back. After spending a short moment taking in the scene, Jeremy ran forward to assist, pushing aside royal guards as he made his way to the front. To his surprise, it was nighttime already, and both Celestia and Luna were there, Celestia looking furious and Luna looking not at all happy to be there. Chrysalis made her way out as well, and upon seeing her, the guards stopped attempting to get in, and clustered around them. Jeremy glared at them, readying himself for a potential fight.

"I knew it – look at him, he's already fighting for her!" Celestia spat to Luna.

Jeremy faced her, a vitriolic snarl on his face. "Is that a problem? You do seem to be encroaching on her territory, after all." Celestia glared at him, coldly unamused.

"You are no judge of her character – or mine, for that matter."

Jeremy gave her a humorless smile. "So says the royal hypocrite. What makes you a better judge?"

Celestia took a step forward. "How _dare_ you!" Jeremy simply crossed his arms, too angry to acknowledge his fear.

"So, what brings you to the Hive? I doubt it's for pleasantries, judging by the ridiculous excess of law enforcement," he continued, glaring at the guards surrounding them.

Celestia ignored him, and turned to Chrysalis. "So, this is where you live. Not exactly a palace, but then you changelings never were civilized, were you?"

Jeremy looked at Luna, who worriedly looked back. _The hell is going on here_? He thought in her direction. She gave no answer, possibly due to her sister's proximity. Right. Looks like he'd have to figure this out on his own.

Chrysalis, to his surprise, turned around and began to walk back into the Hive. "I'll not consort so rudely. After all, any _real _royalty doesn't act like such a spoiled wriggler. Come along, Jeremy." Torn, Jeremy looked between Luna and Chrysalis, who looked back at him, surprised. "You can't seriously want to continue this travesty of a conversation?" Chrysalis asked. Jeremy considered what to do.

"I'll see what they want. If it's anything good, I'll hear them out – but I doubt it." Chrysalis nodded grimly and went inside, and the changelings allowed her through before resuming their blockade.

Jeremy turned back towards Celestia and Luna, adopting an almost bored look. "Well? You heard her. We do this calmly and politely, or not at all." Celestia looked at him with utter disdain.

"In fact, I'm here for you. Not her – she can keep her little queendom." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Is this about yesterday?"

Celestia nodded. "Luna spoke with me, and explained your views in further detail. If you're monogamous, I can respect that." Jeremy cleared his throat.

"Luna, we'll have to talk about that later."

Celestia looked at him in surprise. "You mean you're open to being with multiple lovers? Well, that was sudden." Jeremy nodded.

"Chrysalis explained the deal to me, and I feel like I could manage it."

Celestia smiled. "So that works out fine, then. I'll see you tomorrow morning!"

Jeremy looked at her. "…What?"

Celestia looked confused. "Well, you said you were up for polyamorous relationships, right? So, there should be no problem with us being together."

Jeremy slapped a hand to his face. "Were you not paying attention to what I told you yesterday? I didn't reject you just because I already had Luna – I rejected you because you're crazy!" Luna made a sudden motion forward, as though she were going to object. Jeremy glared at her, which was a new and unpleasant experience. "Don't try to defend her! Or is this normal behavior?"

Luna now looked torn between him and Celestia, before lowering her head. "We think… we will go and speak with Queen Chrysalis," she said. To their surprise, the changelings let her through, possibly out of confusion.

Celestia watched her leave furiously. "Not you too! Sister, come back!" she shouted after Luna, to no reply. Jeremy also watched her leave apprehensively. When he looked back, Celestia was glaring at him. "Now look what you did!" she accused.

Jeremy looked at her, indifferent. "If she chose to hang out with Chrysalis over you, I don't think that's my fault," he taunted. Celestia looked at him as though she wanted nothing more than to incinerate him on the spot. Her hair seemed to turn a shade redder than normal, and her eyes glowed slightly in the darkness. Then, she seemed to relax, and gave him an unnervingly sincere smile.

"Well, if you want me to be calm, then I will be. You only had to ask, after all," she laughed. Jeremy stared at her, now somewhat afraid, and knowing what he was going to say next made that fear so much worse. "So, now that I'm calmed down, how about it? We don't even have to have a serious romantic date – just a drink would be nice," Celestia continued.

"Yeah, no. I don't trust you," Jeremy replied.

Celestia looked hurt. "What do you mean? I'm calm, and content – what more do you want?" Jeremy went back to slapping a hand to his forehead.

"How dumb do you think I am? You're pretty obviously faking it just to appease me. And no amount of kissing up, or apologies, or anything like that is going to make me reconsider. You made your bed, Celestia – now live with it."

Celestia stared at him for a second. "Fine," she whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear. "On your own head be it," she added, a little louder. Celestia then walked way, attempting a dignified poise.

"As if I haven't heard that before," Jeremy replied to her receding form. The guards, after some hesitation, followed.

Jeremy staggered into Chrysalis' room, and leaned against the wall, his adrenaline wearing off. "My god, that was terrifying. Anyone got a drink?"

Luna, who had been anxiously watching him, looked surprised. "Thou partake in intoxicative drinks? We never knew." Jeremy, after staring at her for a second, laughed.

"Heh. No, I meant water – although now that you mention it, I could live with not remembering this night. Urgh." He slumped against the wall. Luna went over beside him, and Jeremy placed a comforting hand on her. "I'm fine," he answered to her unspoken question. "She just tried to seduce me again, and then left when it didn't work."

Chrysalis, who had gotten up to check outside, came back in and took a seat on the floor. "So much for diplomacy," she commented, and Jeremy gave her a weak smile.

"For what it's worth, you have my full support if she decides to attack," he remarked to her, and Chrysalis nodded solemnly. Luna seemed torn, before getting a resolute look in her eyes.

"We support you as well," she added. Both Jeremy and Chrysalis stared at her in shock.

"…Are you _sure_ about that?" Jeremy asked after a moment.

"Yes," Luna firmly answered. "Our sister is not well… We think she is giving herself over to jealousy and bitterness… like… well, you know. Me." Jeremy stared at her. It was the first time she had abandoned her royal "we", and it was strange to hear.

Chrysalis was still staring, intrigued, before clearing her throat and speaking. "So… do we call the Elements of Harmony into this? That's what happened last time, right?" Jeremy briefly considered this.

"Well, I don't think that's going to work. Firstly… I don't want to involve Twilight or her friends, if at all possible. Luna, you know why. Second… I don't think Twilight could raise a hoof against her. After all, Celestia mentored her for most of her life – I don't think Sparkle could bring herself to fight her idol."

Chrysalis looked down, frowning in thought, and both Luna and Jeremy did as well. "I guess we should just be careful for now, and not initiate a confrontation," Jeremy finally mentioned aloud.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

9-25-13, 10:32 P.M.

"So, not accusing you of anything, but why did you tag along with your sister, Luna?" Jeremy inquired, still a bit jittery due to his recent adrenaline high.

"Well, I was wondering where you were – we didn't see you at the office," Luna mentioned. Jeremy stopped cold.

"Oh no – I forgot I had stuff to do today!" he exclaimed. He got up, but Luna forced him down with a hoof.

"It's fine, really!" she replied. "I assumed when you weren't there that extenuating circumstances were the cause, and when I found you, I was assured that that was in fact the case." Jeremy turned to face her anxiously.

"No, I was just hanging out with Chrysalis. We weren't doing anything important!" Luna rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, it's fine. Thou haven't taken a single day off, even on weekends. Frankly, I was starting to get a little worried." Jeremy looked at her. "What?" Luna asked.

"Nothing, it's just – it's weird hearing you speak in first-person," Jeremy muttered. Luna frowned.

"Now that I've sided against my sister, I cannot use the royal 'we' – it would be facetious to imply that we were still in complete agreement with each other on all issues." Jeremy nodded – it made sense to him.

Chrysalis cleared her throat again, with the air of a clinical psychologist or teacher. "Now, Jeremy, didn't you have something to ask?" she reminded him.

"Oh yeah…" Jeremy replied. Luna looked at him nervously. "So, Chrysalis mentioned wanting to be in a relationship with me, and I wanted to see what you think. Personally, I'm okay with it," he explained to her. Luna looked at Chrysalis, who nervously smiled back.

"Absolutely," she answered, startling both of them.

"Wait… really?" Jeremy asked. Luna nodded.

"I don't see any reason against it – she's been good to you, judging by what you've told me and what I am picking up." Chrysalis broke into a full smile, and Jeremy noticed a few changelings at the mouth of her cave evidently listening in.

"Hey, you out there! Stop that, it's rude to eavesdrop," he called out, and they scattered.

"So, Luna, I had something else to ask you…" he continued nervously. Luna looked back at him, and he took a moment to calm himself before asking. "Chrysalis told me that I should technically be bisexual for you… what's that about?"

Luna appeared shocked for a moment before looking away, embarrassed. "…Promise you won't hate me?" she finally asked in return.

To answer, Jeremy pulled her into a hug. "I'm not sure that's possible," he replied. Chrysalis looked on, and as soon as Jeremy caught her eye she looked away.

Luna finally shifted a bit before answering. "You remember our night together?" she asked him.

"I don't think I can forget," Jeremy answered, smiling slightly.

Chrysalis made a noise, and scooted away from them. Jeremy and Luna looked at her, disconcerted. "I just – you said not to feed on others' love, and it's kind of hard!" Chrysalis exclaimed.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "You need to leave?" he asked. Chrysalis took a moment to calm herself down and relax.

"I… no, I think… I'm good," she said between deep breaths.

"Anyway…" Jeremy prompted.

Luna looked at him. "I… well… I'm a hermaphrodite!" Luna blurted.

Jeremy stared at her. "As in… you have both sets," he clarified. She nodded, too embarrassed to speak. For a moment, Jeremy was unsure how to reply. Then his self-critical side kicked in, after days of not being used. "That's okay," he said. Luna looked up at him, shocked.

"But… I'm a biological freak! Celestia said this was unnatural, that it doesn't normally happen!" In response, Jeremy hugged her tighter.

"Luna, I don't love you for your body, although it is a sweet bonus. I love you for _you_ – and nothing you were born with can change that." Chrysalis coughed slightly, and Jeremy ignored her. Luna looked at him for a moment before squirming around to return his hug.

"Can I have a hug?" Chrysalis asked, half-jokingly.

"Get over here and join in, then," Jeremy equally jokingly replied. Chrysalis got up and walked over, and Jeremy opened an arm for her. For a while, they stayed like that, Jeremy blushing more and more.

Finally, Chrysalis moved out of his embrace, and Luna took this as a cue to sit up as well. "So… I'm thinking I need to start protecting myself," Jeremy mentioned.

Chrysalis nodded. "No way I'm letting Celestia get you – you're my ticket to free love forever," she answered. Luna nodded. Jeremy had a thought.

"What if you guys enchanted my suit so that it couldn't be taken off?" Chrysalis frowned.

"But what if I want to take your suit off?" she asked. Jeremy looked at her, pretending to be unamused before bursting into laughter.

"Okay, well, how about if you guys enchant the suit so that only I can take it off?" he amended.

"That seems reasonable – she can't hurt you if you're wearing it. What about the helmet?" Luna asked.

"Going to say yes on the helmet – it's going to make it hard to sleep, but it'll probably be worth it in the long run," Jeremy answered. He went and got the suit, and Luna and Chrysalis' horns both lit up, the bright blue and acidic green casting colorful shadows on the walls. The suit lit up in a sort of teal medley of their two colors, and then ceased glowing. Looking a little tired, both Luna and Chrysalis slumped on the floor. "You two okay?" Jeremy concernedly asked.

"Yes, we'll be fine," Luna replied, sounding exhausted.

"We used a whole lot of magic – that's the strongest enchantment we can do," Chrysalis added, also sounding as if she were about to drop.

"Thanks… that means a lot," Jeremy replied.

"Oh, don't start again with the sentimentality," Chrysalis replied, yawning. Jeremy smiled slightly.

"Luna, will you be returning to the castle?" Jeremy asked. Luna considered this.

"No, I don't think I will," she answered. "Celestia would probably not take it well, after I left her." Jeremy nodded.

"Staying here with Chrysalis then?" he said.

"Yes, that would probably be best," Luna mentioned before falling asleep. Jeremy went into the office and found a jacket of his, which he draped over her as a makeshift blanket.

Chrysalis looked down at her sleeping figure. "I'm tempted to put her in my cocoon…" she thought aloud.

"Don't, she'd probably freak out when she woke up," Jeremy replied.

"I have to go back to my room," he told Chrysalis. "There's some stuff there that I don't want falling into her hooves." Chrysalis nodded, biting her lip.

"Don't get caught," she reminded him.

"I know, jeez," Jeremy answered sarcastically.

9-26-13, 1:02 A.M.

Jeremy swiftly traveled through the back alleyways, staying out of sight. There were no royal guards about, not even night guards – a fact he found disconcerting. Finally, he found his apartment. _Funny_, Jeremy thought. _I'm probably visiting this place for the last time_. He cautiously opened the door, cringing at the sound it made, and stepped inside.

Of course, it was dark. He lit a match, and used this to light the lamp. Looking around, there was no one in the room. He attached the infrared chip to his glasses, and checked again. Still nothing. Somewhat more relaxed, he found his quartz helmet, and put it on.

Checking around, he didn't find anything else – the suit still had all of his guns, including the portal gun. The coilgun was missing, but Jeremy wasn't too fussed – he didn't think it would be too useful considering he still had infinite bullets.

Just as he was about to leave, he started to feel sleepy. He heard a noise behind him, and attempted to whirl around, feeling like he was moving through water. All he caught was a glimpse of white as he fell to the floor, losing consciousness.

It seemed to him that he had woken up instantaneously. He appeared to be confined in a small room by chains, and Celestia was standing in front of him. Jeremy was still too sleepy, but the ramifications of this quickly hit him. "How long have I been out?" he asked, trying to keep himself from panicking.

"A few hours. It's morning, by the way." Celestia answered, businesslike. She started pacing. "Now, I'm afraid there's going to be some changes in how you and I treat each other. After all, you are now under my command. You will not do anything unless I say so, and in turn I will allow you such privileges as eating and breathing. You will also provide me with any sexual favors I desire – such is only fitting for royalty." Jeremy looked at her, regaining his higher-order functions – and with them, his fear.

"And what if I disagree?" he asked.

"Then you'll die, of course. So, what'll it be?" Celestia asked, looking at him as though she had just won.

Jeremy grinned darkly. "Looks like you're gonna have to kill me, then. Ain't no way I'm doing any of that for you, you pathetic waste of –" He was cut off by Celestia. She stopped pacing and looked at him.

"Really? You'd sacrifice your life, just to secure your dignity? And they said my problem was pride," she mused. Jeremy looked at her, confused. No one had ever said Celestia was proud, either here or on Earth. Really, pride was something he had never expected in her. "Well," Celestia continued, "maybe a few days in here will make you talk. I can wait."

Before she left, Jeremy struggled for a moment before calling "Wait!" She turned back towards him, expectantly.

"What's so important about me? Why are you doing this?" he asked. Celestia smirked.

"It isn't really about you. I just have to show that idiot moon princess that I've beaten her in every way, even after she thought she won over me." With that, she left, and a horrible suspicion began to take root in Jeremy's mind.

Jeremy breathed deeply, attempting to calm himself. He had to find a way out of here. The chains were secured by rope – he should be able to remove that if he could find a sharp surface. Unfortunately, he couldn't bite it off, as he was blocked by the helmet. He looked around the room, also trying to feel what he was laying on. It appeared that he was on two tables, end-to-end, designed to secure a pony in place. But not a human, Jeremy reminded himself, and kept looking for an escape. As he struggled to look around, one of his restraints lengthened itself just a little longer than the other. Jeremy looked at it in surprise – he couldn't see where it attached to the table, but he felt certain that it was coming out. He pulled harder, straining with the effort, until his arm finally came free. It hurt like hell, but he couldn't concentrate on that now. He didn't know how long he had until Celestia dropped by again to check on him…

He leaned over, and pulled with all his might on the other arm, and the rope snapped with an unfortunately loud crack. Scared by this, Jeremy hurried even faster. Leaning forward, he flipped over, crossing the ropes, and pushed his legs apart, snapping both ropes. The sound of two ropes snapping was loud enough that he was sure Celestia had heard, and sure enough he heard footsteps approaching his cell. Hurriedly, he whipped out the portal gun – thankfully, the room was smooth concrete – and aimed at a nearby building, and then placed another portal on the floor, falling through just as Celestia burst in furiously.

/{Portal 2 OST – An Accent Beyond}

The chase was on, and Jeremy didn't stop for a second as he landed on the ground, thanking whatever powers existed that he had remembered his boots. He ran for the edge of the cliff, and without hesitation, jumped off, to land in the outer district of Canterlot. Celestia was right behind him, flying after him with a look of utmost rage. Still running, he jumped off the main cliff of Canterlot, and flew down the mountain.

The wind rushing by him obscured all other sounds, and he approached the steep side of the mountain from above, finally beginning to slide on it before jumping off again. As he fell, he saw Celestia frantically attempting to catch up with him, apparently unwilling to execute a freefall herself. Finally, he approached the ground – there was an opening for a train, and a horn sounded. Jeremy gulped – he'd have to time this pretty perfectly. He once again hit the side of the mountain, and used the overlooking lip of the cave mouth as a slide, converting his vertical momentum into horizontal momentum. He flew out over the ground, and the train, being much faster than him, quickly sped out the cave opening and below him. He landed on top, and quickly got into a space between two train cars, hoping Celestia hadn't seen him.

Apparently, she hadn't, but after a moment's hesitation, she started to fly after the train – evidently she was tracking him. Jeremy's heart sank. He tried with all his might to send a message to Luna. _Celestia after me – just escaped. Need help!_

To his relief, she responded almost instantly. _You're okay! Keep running – I'll help speed you up. Head for the Hive!_ Jeremy nodded grimly, as the train came to a stop in Ponyville Square.

Ignoring the shouts of alarm, he jumped off the train before it stopped completely, and continued running, Celestia close behind. To his surprise, he found that he was running amazingly fast – in fact, he appeared to be gliding along the floor. He looked down to find that his boots were coated in orange – it looked like it had been teleported on in a hurry. Jeremy smiled, grateful, and sped on.

As he ran, he sped right past a bewildered Twilight Sparkle, and grimaced. That would almost certainly come back to bite him. Not stopping, he headed for the forest, also passing Fluttershy and Applejack, who stared at him, confused and more than a little frightened.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

9-26-13, 4:44 A.M.

/continue{Portal 2 OST – An Accent Beyond}

Jeremy reflected on how he was probably about to die. His suit didn't do anything against heat except a slight insulation due to the sorbothane and ceramic, and really all that did was make him feel hot in the blazing sun. Thankfully, the Everfree Forest was shady. He ran past Fluttershy's cottage, trying to remember the path to the Hive. Celestia was still after him, flying over the treetops. He crashed through the undergrowth, trying desperately to avoid trees. This was the right path, right? Just then, he felt Luna trying to reach him. _Change of plans!_ she informed him. _Head to the old royal castle, the one we saw in the first episode! It's right along the main path from Fluttershy's cottage, you can't miss it!_ Jeremy nodded uncertainly, and sped back towards the path, narrowly missing a squirrel.

Jeremy rapidly approached the bridge to the old castle, which was evidently still out. Still running, he jumped at the last second, slamming into the edge of the cliff and scrabbling desperately for a hold. He finally picked himself up, and kept running. The old castle was now in sight, and he saw some royal guards of the sun hauling Chrysalis and Luna inside. Not stopping for a moment, he barreled right into them, grabbing the two captives. He then set about with a flurry of punches and kicks, dispatching all the guards before they had a chance to recover, and brought Chrysalis and Luna into the old castle.

/{end}

Jeremy looked around – the place was evidently in worse disrepair than the show had made him think. Banners of the sun and moon were strewn about, some ripped. He hurriedly untied them. "I can't believe you escaped!" Chrysalis exclaimed, pleased to see him. Jeremy smiled at her. "It wasn't that hard – I just pulled on the ropes hard enough to snap them," he explained briefly.

Celestia burst in, blazing with a burning magical energy. "NO!" she shouted, and Jeremy was thrown back from Luna and Chrysalis. With another burst of magical energy, they were flung against the wall, which grew stone shackles to keep them from moving. Jeremy got up and whipped around, taking out his assault rifle. "I will NOT let you be with them! You're MINE, human, MINE FOREVER!" Celestia screamed.

Jeremy leveled the rifle at her. "We settle this_ now_, Celestia." To his surprise, Celestia laughed.

"You think you can beat me with your simple guns? I am not Celestia, foal!" Her bright magic swirled around her, coalescing until Jeremy couldn't look. A dark shape sprang free, and Celestia slumped to the floor, unconscious.

Nightmare Moon surveyed the room, sparkling with both dark and light energy. "You!" Luna shouted. Nightmare once again enchanted the stone wall imprisoning her, this time to cover her mouth.

"Me! And this time, I won't let anyone stop me – I own the night AND the day!" she arrogantly announced. Jeremy fired off a burst of rounds, but they were quickly deflected by Nightmare Moon's magical energy. _Now would be a great time for the Elements of Harmony to burst in here, he thought desperately_. "Jeremy, you will _SUBMIT_," she intoned, her voice laced with power. Strangely, nothing happened – Jeremy felt the same.

Nightmare Moon appeared surprised, before returning to her usual furious look. "It didn't work? Very well then – I'LL BEAT YOU INTO SUBMISSION!" she roared, springing forward.

/{Portal 2 OST – Bombs for Throwing at You}

Jeremy ducked at the first assault of magical energy, and rolled to a different position. He seemed to remember that the shotgun worked well on magical shields, so he switched to that and fired both barrels, his arm wildly swinging from the kick. It appeared to do nothing, so he switched to the rocket launcher. This caused Nightmare Moon to stagger, her shield temporarily fading, but she put it back up again, determination in her eyes. Jeremy reloaded, and as he did so, she fired a bolt of energy at him, hitting him square in the chest and sending him flying back towards the far wall. He hit it with his back, and landed on the floor again using his boots, somewhat winded. Glaring, he shot another rocket at her, and she dodged. Jeremy grinned, and redirected the laser, and the rocket whipped around to hit her from behind, once again breaking the shield and causing her to stagger forward. Before she could react, Jeremy sprang forward and hit her with his steel pipe, using the T-shaped attachment on the end to grab hold of her horn and swing her around into a decorative stone pole.

Shakingly, Nightmare Moon got up. "How are you beating me?" she asked in dismay. Then she shook her head. "No matter – I'll have you yet!" Lighting up her horn with an electric blue, she issued a bolt in the middle of both of them, blasting Jeremy backward with an explosion that rang through his ears. The building shook, and a portion of the ceiling opened, revealing that the sky had been split into day and night once again. But didn't the sun and moon look closer? Jeremy looked again, and his dread was confirmed. Nightmare Moon was using Celestia's magic to move the two celestial bodies closer together, into a collision trajectory. "Still willing to fight? I'll kill everyone unless you give in!" Nightmare Moon raged. Jeremy looked at her – by moving the two huge objects, she was evidently tiring herself out even further. She didn't even have her blue magical shield up.

"I'll just have to kill you faster, then!" Jeremy retorted, and whipped out the portal gun.

Aiming at the wall some distance away, he fired a blue portal and rapidly aimed at Nightmare Moon, firing an orange portal under her hooves. She fell through, and was momentarily distracted enough for him to whip out the shotgun, scoring a direct hit to her side and causing blue blood to fly everywhere. Nightmare Moon gasped for a while, before regaining her footing unsteadily. "I'll murder you for that!" she screamed, and forgetting about her magic, launched herself forward, her hoof connecting with his chest. Jeremy skidded backward, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain. He had to keep going.

Jeremy gave Nightmare Moon a vicious uppercut, noting the satisfactory feeling of having his fist slam into someone's jaw. Nightmare Moon jerked back, and issued another magical bolt of energy – clearly she was faking having run out of magic. Jeremy was blown high, high up into the air, slamming against the ceiling. As he fell, he took out his assault rifle and issued a stream of bullets towards her, most of them connecting. As he landed, he noted that Nightmare Moon's injuries were eerily in the exact same place as Luna's – not important. He had to concentrate on winning. He pulled out the shotgun again, and aimed at her face, hoping to end it quickly.

He was disappointed, however, when she simply bowed her head, and her blue armored helmet absorbed the shock, the bullets harmlessly clattering off of it. "Your bullets are as weak as you are!" Nightmare Moon taunted, blasting energy all around him. In the confusion, the stone walls began to turn to dust, and Jeremy was quickly blinded. He couldn't afford to start shooting everywhere, as he might hit Luna, Celestia or Chrysalis. Speaking of which, where was Celestia? Oh, there she was – chained to the wall, like everyone else. God _dammit_.

As the dust cleared, Jeremy spotted Nightmare Moon on the opposite side of the room. She looked as exhausted as Jeremy felt, but the sun and moon looked as though they were almost touching – he didn't have much time to spare. He took another shot with the shotgun, and a few pellets connected, spinning her around. He sprang forward, as she tried to regain her senses, and starting hitting her in the back with the steel pipe, noting with a grim pleasure the screams of pain coming from her lips. Gone was any sense of honor, or decency in battle – either he killed her, or everyone died.

/{end}

/{Portal 2 OST – Your Precious Moon}

Nightmare Moon swayed for a moment, before collapsing. Jeremy watched her anxiously, as she struggled to get up, before giving up, exhausted. To his dismay, she began to laugh. "Foal! My spell is still in effect – even if I die, you'll never avert the sun and moon from their course! If I can't have you, NO ONE CAN!" Jeremy looked up to find that the sun and moon looked as though they were in fact touching – and he became aware of the music that was pumping through his speakers. He looked at Luna, unsure. She sadly nodded, tears streaming down her face. Shakingly, Jeremy aimed a portal at the ground between him and Nightmare Moon, grateful that the surface here allowed a portal. "Wait. What are you doing? What is that music? _What did she just tell you_?!" Nightmare Moon demanded.

"Jeremy!" Celestia screamed at him, and he stopped what he was doing to look at her. "I'm so, so sorry," she said to him, her look conveying all the words her apology never could.

Jeremy gave her a calm, casual smile. "It's alright," he said.

As he aimed at the ceiling, right towards the middle of the colliding spheres, Jeremy took a moment to pray to whatever gods existed in this once-happy world. He prayed that his shot would land in the right place. He prayed his crazy plan would work. But most of all? He prayed that Luna, Chrysalis, and Celestia would forget him, and move on. He was not important. What was important was that they were happy. With this in mind, he pulled the trigger, and the portal's sound seemed to echo around the room as the orange ball disappeared off into the distance. As soon as it opened, Jeremy felt the pressure drop, and both he and Nightmare Moon were sucked through.

Thankfully, Luna, Celestia and Chrysalis were still chained to the wall, so they were saved. As he flew from the moon, towards the sun, Jeremy could only concentrate on two things. One, it was getting really hot, really fast – he estimated he had seconds before he burned up. Two, he had to do what he got here to do. Gripping the portal gun tightly in both hands, he brought up his knee, and slammed the gun down on it. It didn't do anything, so he tried again. _Break it_! He thought to Luna, and she gave him a feeling of utter sadness. He tried again, and it cracked. "You idiot!" Nightmare Moon screamed, the sound traveling through space somehow. "We'll both die!"

Jeremy looked up at her, somehow managing to speak in the vacuum. "That's the plan," he replied, grinning like a madman, and brought the portal gun down again on his knee, one last time. It broke in half, and the black hole hidden within began to glow and emit light. Jeremy stared, entranced, as it rapidly expanded, engulfing him and the screaming, terrified Nightmare Moon. For a moment, he felt utterly at peace. And then Jeremy stopped feeling anything at all.

/{end}

Jeremy slowly became aware that he was still there, somehow, as if his consciousness still held itself together. He opened his eyes – when had he closed them? and found that he was in some part of space, the stars twinkling all around him. Screens lined an invisible hallway stretching off into the distance, and Jeremy noticed they depicted scenes of his recent adventure. Some were of him singing, or laughing. Some were him fighting – Jeremy noted the furious, determined look in his eyes. Was he really that angry? And some were just of him drawing, calmly sketching out his latest ideas onto a sheet of blank paper.

"You did it!" a voice said, causing him to spin around, looking for the source. Finding none, he cautiously looked at the far end of the corridor, in case the source was out of sight.

"…Hello?" he ventured, noting that his voice still worked somehow. A shining figure appeared – like Celestia, but older somehow. "Celestia? Is that you?" he asked.

The figure laughed. "No. I hate to disappoint, but I am in fact Celestia's mother – my name is Queen Solaris." A deeper, male voice chuckled, and a midnight blue alicorn walked into view, his mane and beard a rich, royal blue.

"And I am King Orion, Luna's father." Jeremy found he could move, and walked forward.

"…Am I dead?" he asked. Solaris laughed.

"All in all, I think not. After all, we would know – wouldn't we, dear?" she asked Orion, who chuckled again.

"After our daughters took over the sun and the moon, we became guardians of Fate – as alicorns, we could choose between this or death." Jeremy took a moment to collect his thoughts.

"So… you're sort of dead, I'm still alive somehow, and what about Nightmare Moon?" he asked. Orion looked at Solaris, and they both looked grim.

"She is most definitely dead." Orion answered.

"Ah. Okay then. So… can I… go back?" Jeremy asked. To his dismay, Orion shook his head.

"We have knowledge of future events, and I'm sorry to inform you that you will be returning to Earth." Jeremy looked down forlornly.

"Can I at least… say goodbye?" Orion looked at Solaris again, who nodded once.

"We think that would be alright. Say, how about you do it in the form of a song? I did rather enjoy those karaoke nights – first time I've seen my daughter that happy since she was a tiny little filly." Jeremy gave him a small smile – he knew which song to sing. He found the strange dimension around him fading, and readied himself.

Celestia, Luna, and Chrysalis were in the Canterlot throne room, gathered for a funeral. Luna was evidently crying, and so was Celestia. Chrysalis looked as though she were about to cry, and Cadance, surprisingly enough, was comforting her. How many days had it been since he had sacrificed himself? he wondered. There was no eulogy being told – perhaps it had already been given. Well, now was as good a time to start as any. He strode forward, slowly fading into view, and the music started. Luna and Celestia looked up in shock, and Chrysalis toppled over from her chair.

"Switch on the sky, and the stars glow for you," he sang, and reached over to hug Luna. To his delight, he physically felt her, and she him. "Go see the world, 'cause it's all so brand-new! Don't close your eyes, 'cause your future's ready to shine, it's just a matter of time – before we learn how to _fly_! Welcome to the rhythm of the_night_! There's something in the air you can't deny…" he continued, and kissed her on the lips, savoring the kiss like nothing else.

"It's been fun but now I've got to go! Life is way too short to take it slow! But before I go and hit the road; I've gotta know! Till then? When can I see you again?" He sang loudly, spinning her around in a classic and very old-fashioned style of dance.

As he sang, Jeremy went to each pony he had known – first Luna, then Celestia, then Chrysalis, and Cadance too, and hugged them, punctuating each heartfelt goodbye with a chorus of "When can I see you again?" It felt like he was going through all the emotions he had never got to express, all the things he had never got around to doing. It felt so good. And it felt so bad. Jeremy started crying about halfway through – he didn't really know whether they were tears of joy or sorrow, but it certainly didn't affect the mood.

Finally, he finished, quietly echoing a sentiment of a song he knew to reflect his deepest fears and desires, all in one. "Tell me when~? When can I see you again…" he finished, whispering. To his sorrow, he began to once again fade, and Luna rushed forward, tackling him for one final hug and sobbing. Jeremy returned the hug – if he actually died right now, he would almost be okay with it.

As he faded from existence, he tried to hold on to the feeling of Luna's embrace, but was met only with empty air. And… a feeling of falling?

Jeremy woke up in his own bed, instantly springing into a sitting position. He looked around. This was his room, back on Earth. He was wearing pajamas, and soaked with sweat. "Oh, hell_ no_," Jeremy angrily exclaimed. Like hell it was all a dream! He got up, and strode forward to his computer to write a message to his friend, only stopping when he noticed his backpack. It was filled with morphine and medical supplies – he had forgotten to take it, back when all of this started. "Okay, so the school incident wasn't a dream," he muttered darkly.

Continuing to his computer, which was only in the next room over, he found that his chair was occupied by a folded set of clothing, too dark to see. He went over and flipped the light switch, and it was revealed to be his nanoarmored suit, complete with speakers and severe damage. As he watched, the damage to the suit fixed itself, and he picked it up. A small square of paper fell out, and he reached down and picked it up, shaking with nerves. It was a photograph of Luna, holding the portal gun in a heroic pose, with two portals in the background. '"Enjoy your gift!" ~Luna' was written on the back. Evidently, she had meant to give this to him, and Jeremy clutched the photo to his chest, drinking in the feeling that it had all been real.

**A/N: And so ends this tale – for now. Song is "When Can I See You Again?", by Owl City.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

12-19-13, 4:07 P.M.

Jeremy strolled along the edge of the pool, drinking in the sights and sounds of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. The hotel here was absolutely ridiculous – 7 or so pools, one with a miniature slide and another with a bar, a hot, sunny beach just a minute's walk away, and all the relaxation he could ever hope for. Things were pretty nice here – well worth what he had been going through in the past few months.

To start with, he had been feeling severely depressed. When he had returned from Equestria after sacrificing his life to save the world, he had found that Luna and Celestia's mysterious alicorn parents had honored the agreement between him and Luna. He had returned the very night after leaving, so effectively no time had passed at all in the human world.

Of course, the very next day he was pestered by reporters, who all lined up to get a look at 'the teenage hero'. Jeremy merely grimaced, closed the blinds and doors, and stayed inside for the remainder of that day, getting back in touch with all the friends he had left behind via online contact. After he went through the motions of discussing the School Incident, there wasn't much to talk about with them – they too were recuperating from it, but they had families to recuperate with. Speaking of which, according to a few questions hurled his way, his fresh lack of parental guardians was a point of major confusion among the vigorous discussions pertaining to his killing spree at the high school.

He had spent most of that September, as well as the majority of October answering trial summons, getting a lawyer, and listening to a jury debate on whether he should be tried for mass murder or not. Unsurprisingly, due to the nature of the incident, he was quickly acquitted of all charges, and as with all one-time celebrities, left to fade into obscurity. This was just how Jeremy preferred things, so he kept a low profile online, staying in contact only with his closest circles of friends. The following months, he had gone back to school to finish his high school diploma. There was the usual congratulations and such for defending the school, but Jeremy wasn't feeling any of it – though he really did try his hardest to act enthusiastic that he had accomplished such a feat. Eventually, people caught on and left him alone, although there was still whispering and pointing in the corridors when he walked by, headphones in and ignoring everyone else as he walked to his next class. The whispers never ceased, no matter where he went.

Jeremy missed Luna, Chrysalis, and even Celestia so much, it was like an ache in his chest. Of course, he kept up on the episodes, hoping for a glimpse of any of them – though Luna was rarely featured at best, and Chrysalis seemed unlikely to ever make a reappearance. To his surprise, the second season had started in late November, featuring the scene with Twilight Sparkle that he narrowly missed appearing in, weeks before. How did time work between their two universes? He often wondered. Had it been days since Luna last saw him? Weeks, months, years even? How would he know? He spent weeks attempting to research some sort of chronological establishment, only to be frustrated again and again.

He was therefore very surprised when Hasbro Studios contacted him for a private meeting. They provided a plane to Los Angeles and a hotel for him to stay in, which Jeremy thought was generous – while all his parents' money was in the process of being transferred to him, he had no idea how to reserve a plane or hotel. Yet another thing he should have learned.

When he entered the meeting room, the table was covered with half-finished sketches and attempts at animation scenes, always with him somewhere in the background. Some Jeremy recognized immediately, such as a scene of him in a gruesome, acidic green bath of changeling blood, firing off shots into some unseen foe. More were parts he would never have recognized had he not been paying attention – a shot of him walking to his apartment, a sketch of him speaking with Luna in the background of some other ponies. He stared at that one for a while – a relic of a time he wanted both to forget and remember for as long as he lived.

Hasbro informed him that they had been trying to draw up episodes again and again, and he kept appearing. Evidently, they knew about some of the changeling war, but not all of it, so Jeremy remained silent on that particular matter. He politely thanked them for their time and effort, and apologized that he couldn't say any more on the matter, lying through his teeth that he didn't know what could possibly have occurred. With nothing more to say, they sent him home, and after that attempted to trick him via email into divulging details. While he very nearly slipped up on more than a few occasions, Jeremy thought he had done a rather good job of not breaking the news to them.

Months passed, and the ache in his chest dulled to a cold twinge. The media made a resurgence of his affairs all of a sudden, and after a few days of being pestered he went outside and tiredly pleaded with them to stop, and go home. To his dismay, he was ignored, and eventually a call to the police solved the situation.

Checking online sites, he was equally dismayed to find that some of those same sketches Hasbro showed him had been leaked, but was relieved when they were dismissed as particularly good fanart. Jeremy reviewed the vitriolic comments 'debunking' his presence with a grim satisfaction; evidently living in a world of skeptical fans paid off sometimes.

He was also extremely surprised to learn that he had quite the following dedicated to him. Having heard that he was refusing media attention, and being generally depressed and reclusive, a couple intrepid fans had started a crowdfunding approach to get him to an unspecified vacation spot – apparently he could choose. Initially, Jeremy was skeptical of the merits of a vacation – after all, he did want to keep up with his homework, but over time he warmed up to the idea, even contacting the leaders of the attempt to express his gratitude. When the money was raised, he found a check in the mail addressed to him. Thankfully, he had since learned how to charter plane flights and reserve hotels, and he picked winter break as a good time to take a week off. His teachers were supportive as well, refusing to accept his doing homework over the vacation and insisting that he simply enjoy himself.

So, he was here – Cabo San Lucas. He had picked this location after reviewing a few of his parents' documents – they were a planning sort when it came to vacations and getaways, and this was their most-researched destination, implying that they had intended to take him here. Jeremy could see why: This was a really good vacation site. Here, the tourists only had a vague knowledge of his stunts up north, and while the check-in lady recognized his name, she merely held a finger to her lips and smiled. For the first time in months, Jeremy had smiled back.

It wasn't that he was crying, or sad, or even angry. Depression was a different feeling – as though there was a void inside you, something physically missing from your state of being that ate at the core of your self-identity. Jeremy was constantly spending his waking hours tormented by things he should have done better, and his dreaming hours were consumed by thoughts of the past. All the psychologists online said he had to make an effort to move on, and find something new, but it was hard, so much harder than he had anticipated.

He dedicated his time nowadays to leisure – reading up on the latest online comics, or manga, or just gaming with a few random strangers over the Internet. More emails from Hasbro employees came, and they were starting to get to him. Eventually, after one particularly smug one informing him that he had to be involved somehow, using all sorts of proofs that he thought tangential at best but verifiable at worst, he responded with a simple "Please stop. It's over, and it'll never happen again. I'm sorry." The emails stopped for a few days after that.

One day, he was feeling particularly brave, and ordered food while still on the beach, like he saw others doing. It was an odd feeling to eat on the beach, but pretty enjoyable, he reflected as he eagerly finished off his plate of fries. He was tempted to order seconds, but felt it would be a waste of money, and instead decided to simply lay back and enjoy the sunshine.

He sat up with a jolt as someone called his name, far off in the distance. Looking around, he didn't see anyone looking at him or making any obvious cues, so he laid back down, attempting to resume his relaxed position. Unfortunately, some sand had decided to make its way into his bathing suit, and he simply could not get comfortable. Grimacing with irritation, he headed up the many stairs, elevators and sunlit concrete walkways to his personal hotel room.

It was spacious, comprised of two adjoined rooms. One was host to simply two beds and a bathroom, while the other had the rest of the trappings of a modern hotel room – wide-open kitchen, TV, and another bedroom and bathroom. He opened a carton of a passionfruit-orange-guava drink mix – it was easily his favorite part about being here, though he was careful not to drink too much at once to avoid running out. Checking his email, he found a curious apology note from a Hasbro employee. Opening it, he read that they had evidently figured it out – he was depressed at the thought of never seeing Equestria again. While they apologized, saying they didn't know how to get him back or even if they could, they informed him that if he did make any more cameo appearances they would announce him as a character, or some other such coverup. Well, it was a generous offer, he thought, but unlikely to ever actually happen. He sent back a short "thank you", and added that his guess was as good as theirs on the interuniversal logistics of attempting to "write him in". It occurred to Jeremy that he could ask Hasbro to write in the changelings and their happy ending, but he dismissed this. The last thing Chrysalis would want was more attention from the show – it didn't have a chance of ending well. He vaguely attempted to play some games before quickly giving up, not finding any fun in them. Jeremy went through the motions of checking the few social sites he attended regularly, and after smiling at some of the funnier posts he closed his browser and went off to find dinner.

His plate was stocked with an odd combination of both vegetarian and meat-containing dishes – a curious side effect of returning to the meat-imbued culture of America after a month-long vegetarian isolation from the substance had rendered him able to enjoy both types of food. He did feel a little bit guilty about eating meat when he had gone back to the cafeteria food, but reminded himself that anyone who could have criticized him for it had no way of doing so.

This was also another point of wonder for him: Luna had clearly had the ability to enter his universe. Therefore, why hadn't she tracked him down yet? A memory flashed in his mind of her explaining that she had entered his universe and planet by pure, random chance. Jeremy gave a slight smile – he had long since learned that the odds of that were truly astronomically against, assuming most universes were comprised mostly of the endless vacuum of space. Luck, or design? was another thing he thought about, but the circular logic loops he found himself entrenched in often left him with a pounding headache, so he tried not to think about that one too much.

Heading home from the diner, he felt different: An insistent buzz reverberated through his brain, reminiscent of an oncoming migraine but strangely painless. Jeremy simply assumed he was experiencing the first stages of the aforementioned migraine, and quickly drained the rest of his water in an effort to stay hydrated.

12-19-13, 12:06 A.M.

A few short hours later, he was lying in bed, attempting to sleep. The buzz was back, and it sure as hell wasn't leaving him alone. In an effort to distract himself, Jeremy messed with the bedside radio, finally coming up with an oddly soothing underwater sound loop that could also be mistaken for the sounds of dark caverns and tunnels. With this playing softly next to him, it was a little more bearable, but something in him still didn't want to go to sleep.

Resigning himself to a sleepless night, he lay back in bed and opened his eyes, adjusting the bedsheets so he wouldn't be so hot. Not that it helped – he was not used to such warm climates. The TV certainly wouldn't help, either – nothing he was interested in was on at such a late time of night, and he wasn't really all that enamored of TV anyway.

Jeremy gradually became aware that someone was shining a light down in the courtyard, where all the pools were. The entire hotel was in a "U" shape around the pools, so anyone crossing through them was visible from all angles. He rolled over, but it only got brighter – in fact, he realized as he looked back, the light was pointing directly at his window. As he noticed, it moved away – and then tentatively came back. Now truly annoyed, he swung his legs over and hopped out of bed, opening the glass screen to examine his erstwhile grievance. He could just barely make out…

Jeremy rubbed his eyes and looked again.

Princess Celestia was staring up at him, seven stories down, her horn emitting the cone of light that had irritated him so.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

After so many months spent agonizing, Jeremy simply stared at Celestia, and she stared back. For a minute, they didn't break eye contact. Jeremy couldn't believe it. She was back – she'd come back for him. Part of him refused to accept that it was real, that this was all clearly just a dream. A second later, she had teleported right in front of him, causing him to silently stumble back into the darkness of his room. They spent another moment just staring at each other, Jeremy noticing that Celestia looked tired. In turn, she appeared to be examining his physical differences – a slight change in height, as well as the beginnings of a beard.

"…Jeremy? Is it really you?" Celestia finally spoke, still looking at him. Apparently his thoughts were answer enough, because she immediately hugged him, head on his shoulder and tears streaming down her face. "I am so, so sorry for how I treated you," she frantically apologized.

"No… really, it's alright," Jeremy said, patting her hair in an attempt to console her, and still extremely shocked by her sudden return. She was apparently unconvinced, and continued gently sobbing into his shoulder.

"I was selfish, and wrong, and I want to make it up to you. But… if you don't want to, that's fine. I can respect that," she hurriedly amended. Jeremy briefly considered the merits of adding Celestia to his growing list of love interests. He then berated himself for even having to make the decision.

"You seem good to me," he remarked, smiling, and Celestia looked up. "Why don't we give it a shot?" After giving him a watery smile in return, Celestia hugged him once more, and Jeremy felt as though he were having the life crushed out of his ribcage – and yet, he was infused with a feeling that something was being created down there – as though the void in his chest had finally begun to fill.

Sensing this, Celestia stepped back, apologizing with a quick "Sorry!" Jeremy rolled his eyes and gave her an even tighter hug.

He led her through his hotel room to the kitchen, and poured her a cup of the sweet passionfruit-orange-guava nectar. He just had to ask the first question on his mind. "How long?" he quietly asked her as he set her cup down on the table. Celestia seemed confused for a short moment, but quickly understood.

"Not long. Just a few days, really. But… you look so different… how long has it been for you?" Jeremy sighed deeply, partially relieved but even more saddened by the time gap.

"It's been a few months," he informed her, and Celestia clapped a hoof to her mouth, shocked.

"I – I'm so sorry, I had no idea," she sympathized. Jeremy turned on the light, and Celestia's brilliant white coat temporarily blinded him, causing him to look away while his eyes adjusted.

Jeremy decided to give her a more exact estimate. "It's been around three months, give or take a few days – I left your world in late September, and right now it's late December." Celestia almost looked as though she were about to start crying again, and Jeremy sat down heavily next to her, all thought of sleep gone.

"How did you find me? Were you seen? And… where's Luna?" he asked, almost dreading the answers.

Celestia hesitated for a moment before answering. "I found you by use of a simple tracking spell, combined with the use of one of your ingenious 'portals'. I arrived at your house, to find it empty. Another tracking spell slowly led me down here – you may have heard a buzzing when I got close," she explained. "I made sure to be invisible for almost all of the trip, and apart from a few close misses with some strange giant flying metal devices, made it here just fine. As for Luna… she insisted that I go find you. I believe her reasoning was to prove that she trusted me once again… and you can too."

Jeremy smiled. "So she's alright? And Chrysalis too?" Celestia returned his smile, sipping from her cup and apparently enjoying the taste.

"Well, Luna seemed about as sad as you were when I last left her. Though she agreed to ruling in my absence, and to our duties of the sun and moon, she will only truly begin to heal when you return to her. As for Chrysalis…" here Celestia's smile turned to a frown, but one of concern rather than disgust or hatred.

"Chrysalis too mourns your loss, but she is also concerned with her state as queen. She claimed you were to support her position by force, but died before you could do such a thing. Is this true?" Celestia asked, and Jeremy nodded.

"One of my biggest regrets was that I couldn't follow through with that – is there still time to do so?" To his relief, Celestia nodded.

"Whatever event takes place between the hives, it does not occur for a week or more. We have sent guards to the hive to assist her, but Chrysalis has refused all help from us – maybe you could help convince her." Jeremy nodded once more.

"So, the portal to Equestria's still at my house?" he asked.

Celestia shook her head. "I closed it after arriving, so no one could enter while I was absent. I'll re-open it when we get back – that shouldn't be too hard now." Jeremy nodded appreciatively. Then a thought occurred to him.

"Hey… Could we stay here for a while? I like this place." Celestia nodded. "It does look rather nice. How'd you manage to stay here?" Jeremy briefly explained, and she looked surprised.

"So humans can be generous after all," she mused.

"Rarely," Jeremy replied, back to frowning. He was grateful, but that wouldn't stop his cynical side any day of the week.

They retired to bed, Celestia respectfully choosing the bed next to him. And for the first time in a long time, Jeremy slept peacefully.

12-20-13, 9:44 A.M.

When Jeremy woke up, he heard the sounds of cooking in the next room, instantly quieting any fears that the event last night had merely been the result of some fever dream. True enough, Celestia was standing in the kitchen over a sliced cantaloupe and a few quesadillas. She smiled as he came in. "I got up to raise the sun, but forgot I didn't have to do that here," she laughed by way of greeting. Jeremy also chuckled – and as he did, he began to remember how much he missed this feeling. The feeling that everything was right with the world… A guy could get addicted to this.

"So… I don't think people would react too well if you were seen in public as an alicorn. Maybe we could transform you into a convincing human?" Jeremy mused. Celestia looked at him.

"Why would I need to be seen in public?" she asked, confused. Jeremy grinned.

"If we're going to stick around here for a few days, I think you should get to enjoy some time off too – it's only fair." Celestia smiled back. Lighting up her horn, she transformed into a form halfway between human and pony – the feet and hands, as well as the peculiar head shape and breasts were there. She had also kept her height, being slightly shorter than he was. However… "Humans aren't normally that white – probably want a shade of tan, or even brown," Jeremy commented, examining her appearance more thoroughly.

After a few more trivial details, Celestia resembled a passable human. She tottered around on her legs for a bit, and Jeremy demonstrated walking for her. A few minutes of stumbling around passed, and Jeremy had to catch her more than once before she got the hang of it. "Alright, ready?" he asked. Celestia had created a fiery orange bathing suit for the day, and the effect on her skin was striking.

They slowly passed through the crowds of tourists and the occasional staff. Finally, they found the stairs down to the beach, which Celestia had some trouble with. She noted the vendors who haggled their various items up and down the beach. Jeremy, having long since gotten used to their presence, simply ignored them – they were already quite busy. They traipsed across the hot sand, Jeremy thanking himself for remembering to wear flip-flops – he'd burned himself on the hot sand just a day ago, and had no desire to repeat the experience.

12-20-13, 2:00 P.M.

It had been a pretty relaxing day, as Jeremy and Celestia enjoyed the smooth, clear ocean, and sunbathed on the pool chairs that had been placed in neat rows, with large umbrellas providing shade. Jeremy couldn't get over how good he felt now that the ponies were back in his life – the past few months seemed like a distant memory, another person, even. As they were relaxing in the shade after a particularly playful swim, Celestia turned to look at Jeremy, distracting him from his book. "…How is it so sunny here, anyway?" she asked.

Jeremy was glad to remember the answer. "We're near the middle of the planet. Here, the temperature's pretty much like this for quite a lot of the year, because the Earth is tilted and heats up based on where light from the Sun hits it. Since we're so close to the middle, this place gets light almost all the time." Celestia nodded thoughtfully.

After a short lunch, they lounged about in the hotel room, Jeremy finishing his book and Celestia starting one he had finished the day before. "You have quite the voracious literary appetite," she commented. Jeremy chuckled as he turned the page.

"Yeah, I'm a bit of a speedreader. I miss details sometimes, but it's still fun to read so much." Celestia gave him a slight smile as she opened her novel, and the two simply read for a while, Celestia occasionally asking questions about the book series.

12-20-13, 8:42 P.M.

"So, looks like I'm missing Christmas again," Jeremy commented again as he flicked through online sites, taking a renewed pleasure in showing Celestia how each one worked.

"What's Christmas?" Celestia asked curiously. Jeremy tried to remember the name of the equivalent Equestrian holiday.

"Like… Hearth's Warming Eve, but with gifts and pine trees," he explained. Celestia nodded, intrigued. "We decorate the pine tree with ornaments – a family tradition for us was to pick out a single ornament and mark our name and the year on it, so we could keep a running tally," Jeremy continued. "Then, each family member gets at least one gift for someone else – I was kind of bad at that part," he muttered. "Mom and Dad were always providing the most gifts to everyone. Anyway, the mascot is this guy called 'Santa' – legend says he delivers all the presents to the kids who've been good, and only gives sacks of coal to the bad kids. Although, I could use a sack of coal…" Jeremy finished, now lost in thought.

Celestia smirked. "I'm sure we could dig something up," she joked, and Jeremy laughed.

Jeremy began to walk Celestia through gaming – she wasn't quite as interested as he seemed to remember Luna had been, but she listened nonetheless. Trying her hoof at some of the games, she seemed to be quite good at the simple puzzle games, but flat-out refused the ones involving killing. "I'm sorry, I'm just too squeamish for that sort of thing," she apologized.

"That's okay, I've got plenty of games that are less bloody," Jeremy replied.

They spent another few days like this, and Celestia expressed the desire to actually 'ride' a plane, having since learned what they were. Jeremy agreed, though he cautioned her that the experience was quite boring in between takeoff and landing.

Finally, it was time to leave Mexico in favor of the significantly colder and windier outskirts of Seattle. Celestia had transformed into a human for the journey, and Jeremy bought a last-minute ticket for her on the flight. She was startled by the sudden acceleration of takeoff, and Jeremy avidly stared out the window seat as they rose off the ground, the airport quickly shrinking. Finally, they reached cruising altitude, and passengers were free to move around.

Celestia looked around her. "So… we have to sit here for six hours?" she asked.

"Yep. Told you it was boring," Jeremy reminded her.

After managing to re-read every single book he had brought along, they landed in the Seattle-Tacoma airport, where they took a shuttle to Jeremy's car. "God, I hate this thing," he mentioned. Celestia examined the black model, clearly old and with one side mirror only hanging on by a few wires and some duct tape. He started it up, remembering gratefully that he had filled it up before departing.

12-24-13, 11:37 P.M.

The drive was long, but eventually they made it home. Thankfully, the driveway was devoid of anyone, reporters or otherwise. Jeremy appreciated the gray exterior of his house, before unloading his luggage and opening the garage door. Celestia helped him move the luggage in, and Jeremy simply shoved it off to the side of the door before heading upstairs. "I'd use the guest bedroom if I were you - the other bedrooms might still have some... bloodstains," he mentioned to Celestia, who nodded. Jeremy went to his own bedroom, getting into pajamas and brushing his teeth before remembering that he had to do something very important. He started up his computer at home, and after waiting a full ten minutes for it to go through all the software checks, opened his email. He paged through the usual spam, marking all of it as 'read' before scrolling down. He found the latest email from Hasbro, and clicked 'Reply'. Frowning in concentration as he stared at the text, Jeremy began to type. "Looks like I might have to take you up on that," he typed, and added in a smiley face for good measure.

With that sent, he powered the computer down and climbed into bed. "Goodnight, Jeremy," Celestia's voice called from across the room and down a hallway.

"G'night, Celestia," he sleepily responded, before sinking back onto his cool pillow, and slipping off into dreams.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

12-25-13, 8:22 A.M.

Jeremy woke up, an odd twinge in his heart. _Today's the day_, he thought. _Finally going back_. He grinned, and pulled on a pair of long pants and a t-shirt, grabbing a heavy winter jacket.

Celestia, of course, was already up by the time he got downstairs. "Ready?" she asked.

"I still have to pack some things," Jeremy answered, and she politely nodded. They ate breakfast in silence, and Jeremy went up to hurriedly pack a few comforts – toothbrush and toothpaste, music player, and of course his ever-present armor suit. Before he left, he logged in to his computer, and checked his email. Unsurprisingly, the response had come just a few minutes after he had turned it off, consisting of a simple smiley-face emoticon. Jeremy smiled slightly and turned his computer back off.

Celestia was waiting downstairs, an orange portal swirling on a wall. Jeremy shouldered his backpack, and nodded to her. She gestured for him to enter first, and he did so.

12-25-13, 9:15 A.M.

Jeremy once again marveled at the seemingly instant transportation across universes. He stepped out into what appeared to be Celestia's private room – it was surprisingly clean. Celestia came through a moment later, closing the portal with her magic just after she came through. "Alright, so where's Luna?" Jeremy asked her.

Celestia checked a clock on the wall before answering. "She should currently be in the throne room. I hope she isn't too sleepy – ruling over both the sun and the moon can be hard." Jeremy understandingly nodded and made his way out the door, Celestia following behind.

As Jeremy got closer and closer to where he remembered the throne room to be, he kept getting these odd twinges of dread. What if she found someone else? What if something and happened, and they could no longer be together? The rational part of his brain argued that these thoughts didn't make sense, but that didn't stop Jeremy from having them.

He opened the door out onto the throne room, and Luna was sitting on the throne, evidently addressing royal business. Writing a letter, she hardly looked up as he approached, so he walked directly in front of the throne and casually leaned over. Annoyed, Luna looked up, but her expression changed to that of shock when she saw it was him. Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "Merry Christmas," he joked. After a second of just staring, Luna dropped the letter and quill and tackled him, hugging him with all the might she could muster – which was evidently quite a lot. "Ow – okay, _okay_, get off, I can't breathe!" Jeremy laughed.

Luna reluctantly let go, and sized him up. "Thou hast grown," she commented. "But thou could not have attained even such a small change of height in just a few days – and is that facial hair on thy chin?" Jeremy chuckled, and nodded.

"It's been a few months for me." Luna looked horrified, and Jeremy quickly thought of something better to say. "But it's fine, really, I'm fine. Point is, I'm back. And Celestia and I are friends now, so that's cool!" Luna smiled appreciatively.

"We hoped by sending her first, the two of you would have the chance to bond. Glad to see that is the case."

With that, Celestia quickly took back over her position as ruler of the day, and Luna retired to bed. Jeremy followed her up, discussing what he had been up to over the past few months, and leaving out the parts that were particularly depressing. Luna knew he wasn't telling her everything, but apparently decided not to press it. They arrived at her room shortly, and Luna looked around before rearing up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "Go see Chrysalis – and when thou get back, we've got some catching up to do," she whispered in his ear. Jeremy nodded once to show he understood, and Luna gently closed the door on him.

So, was his office still open for business? Walking along the snowy streets of Canterlot, he noticed that ponies were back to pointing and whispering. Jeremy smiled, by now long used to it, and walked on.

His office was locked, so he supposed he'd be taking the long way. Heading back to his apartment, he stopped a moment to take in how alien this room felt. The last time he had been here, he had been kidnapped by a possessed Celestia. A stack of papers was sitting on the table – evidently Lyra's old script. In the closet, he discovered his Long Fall Boots, cleaned and polished. To his satisfaction, he also discovered his office key in a drawer, and slipped it into his pocket. Dropping off his backpack, he set off into the wintry air towards his office again.

The walk back to his office seemed shorter than he had remembered, but he kept reminding himself that everything was smaller here. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, and was shocked to see changelings milling about, working on various projects. One looked up at him and smirked. "Nice try, Keratin. You almost had me going for a moment there."

Jeremy looked at him confusedly. "Who's Keratin?" he asked. The changeling stared for a moment, then ducked out of the room. Jeremy looked after it as it headed for the lime-green portal he remembered setting up, quickly vanishing into the dark Hive. After a moment's hesitation, Jeremy followed.

Chrysalis was hard at work, viciously fighting another changeling with a shell the color of rust. Deciding not to interfere, he watched as she gave him a quick bite to the neck, followed by a kick to the head. The other changeling dropped like a stone, and she hissed in triumph. The changeling from the office earlier skittered up as soon as the fight was done, and using the changelings' unintelligible language spoke to Chrysalis, pointing at him. Chrysalis whipped around and stared. "Sup," Jeremy greeted casually, only to find himself on the floor a second later as Chrysalis furiously shook him by the shoulders.

"I've been mourning you for days, and you're not dead? What have you been doing? _Where have you been_?" she screeched before collapsing on top of him. Jeremy, by now thoroughly confused and scared, tentatively wrapped his arms around her.

"I came down with a bad case of death, but I got better," he explained in view of the surrounding changelings, who muttered nervously.

Chrysalis quickly led him back to her room, and forced him to sit. "You are going to tell me everything," she demanded. Jeremy frowned.

"Not everything," he argued. "Some things no one but me should know." Specifically, he was thinking of both the presence of Orion and Solaris, and his depression – two useless details that would only complicate the story. So, he told her what had happened, making it sound like he simply woke up back on Earth, and spent some months there. Chrysalis was quiet for a moment.

"Are you… okay?" she finally asked.

"How so?" Jeremy replied cautiously.

"I can smell the emptiness in your heart – and you said you'd been gone for _months_? No, you're not okay," she rhetorically answered.

Jeremy frowned. "Okay, yes, I went through some rough times. But that's not important! What's important is that I'm back, and you're still here."

Chrysalis gave him a smirk. "What, you think I would have died without you?" Jeremy grimaced.

"No, that's not what I-" he was cut off as Chrysalis pulled him into a kiss, her fangs gently pressing down on his bottom lip.

"Because you're completely right," she answered as she pulled away. Jeremy was still for a moment as he attempted to process that, and Chrysalis softly laughed at his discomfort.

"So… anyway… how's it going?" Jeremy asked. Chrysalis went back to frowning.

"Not good – the other hives are not backing down on their claims, no matter how many of their ambassadors I defeat. At this rate… we won't be able to hold out much longer."

Jeremy sighed. "Well, it's a good thing I was only gone for a few days in your time," he mentioned. "Now I can start helping." Chrysalis brightened.

"You remembered!" she happily exclaimed. Jeremy nodded, smiling slightly. He then remembered another reason he was here.

"Hey, what's with not accepting Celestia's help?" he asked. Chrysalis' lip curled into a disdainful frown.

"If I were to accept such a thing as an entire outside army, I wouldn't be able to be queen. I'd be seen as weak. But a lone fighter from an outside race… I think I can get away with that," she mused.

"Okay, good. I don't want to have to turn into a changeling just to help," Jeremy mentioned, and Chrysalis looked somewhat hurt.

"What's wrong with becoming a changeling?" she asked indignantly. Jeremy, embarrassed, scuffed the floor with his shoe.

"Well… I don't know, I'd like to keep this body." Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.

"So if say, Luna asked you to become a pony… you wouldn't go through with it?" Jeremy shook his head, then looked at her suspiciously.

"Is there something you know that I don't?" he asked. To his surprise, Chrysalis denied this.

"While I know more than you about a number of things, that was purely conjecture." Accepting this, Jeremy moved on to a different topic.

"So… I don't know if you know, but Celestia and I have been hanging out for a short while," he mentioned. Chrysalis looked up, interested.

"Really? I would've thought you'd have murdered her on sight," she remarked. Jeremy was almost hurt.

"Hey! She was possessed, I don't hate her!" Chrysalis made a calming motion with her front hoof.

"Relax, I was only teasing. Really, you seem unusually sensitive today," she noted. Jeremy made a short groan of frustration.

"Sorry, it's just – I had to go back and listen to twelve people try to decide if I was a hero or a murderer. Then, I had to go back to school, where I heard no end of murder jokes. They're getting a little tiring," he finished.

Chrysalis nodded sympathetically. "I'll be sure not to make them, then," she concluded, and Jeremy tiredly thanked her.

"Anyway, do you think you're going to be Celestia's lover?" Chrysalis asked. Jeremy nodded.

"Looks like it. She's not so bad, but she keeps trying to apologize to me every half-sentence," he mock-complained.

Chrysalis smirked at him. "Two princesses and the reigning queen of every hive in the land are in love with you – why are you complaining?" Jeremy frowned at her, and she laughed.

"Yeah, well… Hopefully the list doesn't get any longer," he muttered.

Chrysalis seemed confused by this, but amended her expression a second later. "Right, right, you're supposed to be monogamous," she thought out loud. Jeremy nodded.

"Even if all three of you are perfect, it just feels weird to be with three different lovers – not to mention the whole 'alien' thing."

They made small talk for the rest of the evening, and finally Jeremy departed, promising to see Chrysalis early tomorrow. He headed through the office, stopping to say hello to a few changelings who were still working. They seemed surprised at his appearance, but otherwise said nothing. Jeremy headed for the castle – after all, he had no reason to stay away from there anymore.

Of course, the pointing and whispering was back with a vengeance. He ignored them, and opened the front doors of the castle. Finding that Luna was still embroiled in official business, and Celestia was alos there, he took a seat on the floor beside her throne and waited. Most of the stuff was pretty boring, but he looked up as a letter appeared out of thin air in a puff of green smoke, and Celestia opened the scroll and read it. "Oh! Twilight sent me her latest picture," Celestia informed Luna, and Jeremy instantly froze in shock. Luna also looked at her in alarm. "…Did I do something wrong?" Celestia asked, noticing their discomfort. After taking a moment to compose himself, Jeremy leaned into view.

"No, nothing's… nothing's wrong," he falteringly answered. Well, at least he had the cold comfort that that scene was a bare second of screen time – but it was going to feature in at least an entire season. Dammit.

Celestia got off her throne, and motioned for Jeremy to follow her. Talk to you later, he thought in Luna's direction, and she responded with a practiced nod, staring straight ahead. Celestia led him to her personal room, before sitting down on her bed. "Is there something you should be telling me?" she asked.

Jeremy frustratedly took a seat as well. Not this again, he thought. "Okay, yes. But you'll have to promise to not be mad, and hear me out until the end," he forewarned. Celestia agreed, and Jeremy began.

When he finished, Celestia looked shocked and dismayed. "Our entire world is a story?" Jeremy made a so-so motion with his hand.

"I recently discovered that my world might have similar origins." He told her the story of Lyra's script, commenting on the many parallels and corollaries to his world. Celestia appeared to think for a moment.

"And you said the reason you and Luna reacted was because I was shown opening that letter in the beginning of every episode?"

Jeremy nodded. "So, now someone might notice that there's a human on the show, and people might start asking questions. I did strike a deal with Hasbro in case this happened, though…" he remarked, thinking hard to himself.

"So is this 'Hasbro' in complete control of our universe, and Lyra is in control of yours?" Celestia thought out loud.

Jeremy shook his head. "I don't think so, because they contacted me, and said that they tried to write some episodes earlier on, only to find that I mysteriously appeared in their drawings." Celestia frowned, and went back to thinking.

"Plus, there's the time gap to consider," Jeremy remarked. Celestia looked up.

"Ah, yes. You say that you didn't see the invasion of the Everfree Forest for about a month after it happened, correct?" Jeremy nodded.

"I wonder how that works – does time pass slower here than there, or something?" he mused. Celestia shrugged.

"The nature of time is not something I have much experience with – it usually gives me a headache just to think about it," she confessed. Jeremy agreed, and they went back to thinking.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

12-25-13, 9:12 P.M.

"Well, one thing's obvious enough," Jeremy remarked.

Celestia looked over at him. "What's that?" He moved to a more comfortable position.

"I've gotta stay away from Twilight Sparkle. Meeting her is pretty much guaranteeing visibility, after all." Celestia nodded.

"I used to wonder if you simply weren't interested in her – but that does make more sense." Jeremy glumly nodded.

Luna walked in, informing them that she had assigned an advisor to official duty for the night while they spent time together. "Isn't that shirking your job?" Jeremy asked curiously.

"Not really – we're typically allowed to take as much time off as we need for personal duties, and romance certainly counts," Celestia answered. Jeremy shrugged.

"So, Jeremy… what hast thou been up to?" Luna asked. Jeremy uncomfortably shifted, and explained once more, this time not leaving out the bit about Orion and Solaris. Luna's eyes widened. "We had presumed them missing…" Celestia too was interested, but made no comment.

"So, then Celestia found me, we hung out for a few days at the beach, and then headed back," Jeremy finished. Luna had since laid down next to him, and he casually stroked her hair, once again noting its odd properties.

"So, anyway… here's what I was thinking," Jeremy continued. "I'd like to leave a portal open to Earth, well-hidden of course, so that I can come and go, and keep track of things both here and there." Celestia and Luna considered this for a moment.

"We think… that would be possible… but aren't thou worried about even the possibility of discovery? Surely if your race is as terrifying as you say, they would not hesitate to take advantage of a situation," admonished Luna. Jeremy nodded grimly.

"We'd have to make it so well hidden that only I could access it – whatever that would entail. On our end, a simple spell would probably do it – not even the best technician on our planet could crack magic." Celestia nodded thoughtfully.

"And with stronger protection on this end, I could certainly see this happening. Perhaps vocal, willing authorization from you would allow others to pass through?" Jeremy agreed.

"This would also allow for Internet on this side," he mentioned to Luna, who nodded thoughtfully.

They stayed like that for a few hours, with Jeremy sleepily holding Luna, Celestia serenely watching them. Apart from occasionally moving into more comfortable spots, or adjusting the position of his hands, Luna stayed perfectly still. Jeremy suspected she was having a secret conversation with Celestia, as Celestia would periodically glance at Luna as though she had just said something funny. This was confirmed when Celestia looked at him, asking "So… could I get a belly rub?" Jeremy blushed with the force of a thousand blast furnaces, and Luna burst out laughing. Jeremy looked at her, unamused, and finally groaned and stood up.

"Alright, just this once. And not for an hour this time." Celestia rolled over, and Jeremy carefully began to rub up and down her belly, eliciting a hum of satisfaction from Celestia.

"Oh, this _is_ as good as you said, Luna…" she gasped as he continued. Jeremy attempted to hold back a giggle at her reaction.

A few minutes later, Celestia was arching her back, holding back a moan as Jeremy continued. Luna watched, grinning with satisfaction. "What even is the attraction of a belly rub, anyway?" Jeremy asked.

Luna laughed. "It is like getting a massage – and we think thou have Celestia hooked," she added with a devilish grin at her sister. Celestia certainly wasn't denying it, Jeremy noted as he continued rubbing her gently.

Ten minutes later, Jeremy took his hand off, and Celestia reluctantly settled back down into her original position. "That was… something…" she commented, blushing heavily and still smiling.

Jeremy held back laughter at her reaction. "Yep. Glad you enjoyed it," he replied, uncertain of what else to say for such an odd moment as this.

Finding nothing else to do, Jeremy headed home for the night, hugging both princesses once more as he set off for his old apartment. While he walked, he thought about how violent his last time here was. Sure, there was a whole lot of bloodshed, but he kind of missed opportunities like that to take his anger out on something. Hmm. Did he enjoy hurting others? Jeremy seriously wanted to say no, but a part of him insistently whispered that yes, he did. Ignoring such concerns, he opened his door, and pulled a pair of pajamas and his cellphone out of his backpack. Climbing into bed, he set his cellphone's alarm, and stayed awake for a few hours before finally dropping off into unconsciousness.

12-26-13, 7:30 A.M.

The soft but insistent buzz of the alarm clock roused him from semi-consciousness. Jeremy estimated he had only had a few hours of sleep – business as usual on a school day. He blearily got dressed, and headed off into the Canterlot morning.

Although the air was cold as ever, and the snow was still out, the sun was out too. Thankfully, he had remembered to pack a jacket, although it was a bit too thin for the cold air, and Jeremy shivered slightly as he treaded through the city streets.

As he approached the office, he heard scuffling inside. Quickening his pace, he wrenched open the door to find a few of Chrysalis' changelings and one from a different breed, sporting a lilac shell, having a tussle on the lab floor. As soon as they saw him, all three froze. Jeremy looked down at them furiously, before picking the intruder up, an ugly expression on his face. Walking over to the portal, he found Chrysalis dispatching another group of changelings of the same color, and joined in with vigor. After kicking the changeling he had caught into Chrysalis' path, he picked up a purple changeling skulking around the edges of the fray, and raising it high above his head, bodily slammed it into the floor, repeating this a few times until it seemed to pass out. Yet another interloper was trying to escape the rolling ball of insectoid fury that was Chrysalis, so Jeremy neatly planted a knee in its face and forced it back in. _Damn, that felt good_, he reflected. What was _wrong_ with him?

The fight was over pretty soon, and Chrysalis panted. "Thanks for the help," she tiredly commented in his direction, before walking over to the love machine and sitting for a while. Jeremy didn't dare approach due to the toxic effects of the chemicals it was outputting, and stayed at a respectable distance until Chrysalis finished. As she walked over, there was a new spring in her step and a satisfied grin on her face, although she still looked tired. "If it weren't for that machine, I'd have been dead long ago. As it stands… thank the Hive the official trials start in just a few days," she remarked, leading him back into her room.

"So, what's the plan? You said there was an official trial?" Jeremy asked as they sat down, Chrysalis taking a moment to breathe deeply.

"Yes… How it works is as follows. Each hive takes their strongest contestants, and all of them gather at a previously set location. The contestants are all trapped within the area, and forced to fight to the death for supremacy. Whichever team survives to the end crowns the new changeling ruler."

Jeremy winced. "That sounds extremely bloody and unnecessary." Chrysalis frowned.

"It keeps other hives working towards a common cause – overthrowing the current monarch. Plus, it keeps population levels down, as the other hives' available love is diverted to those who are preparing to fight." Jeremy nodded.

He didn't like it, not in the least because it reminded him of the war-economy strategy that had worked so unbearably well back home. Jeremy sighed. "Alright, so I have to actually kill some more changelings. Even though I said I wouldn't…" he muttered.

Chrysalis looked at him. "What, are you having reservations about killing? It's a little late for that," she pointed out. Jeremy put his head in his hands. "I'm trying to not be a murderer! You know, move past that, become a peaceful member of society?" Chrysalis hissed at him.

"You agreed to this! It's too late to back out now, you're fighting for me whether you like it or not!" Jeremy furiously slammed his hand against the ground.

"When I agreed to this idiocy, I was still shell-shocked from being in Equestria! I thought it'd be like before, where they'd just pass out from the pain or something!" For a moment, they glared at each other, before Jeremy looked away. "Fine. _Fine_. You want me to fight, I'll fight. I hope you enjoy the bloodbath," he spat as he stood up and left.

"Hey, wait!" Chrysalis' voice called out, but he stalked into the labs and closed the portal behind him.

Jeremy sat down at his computer desk, and briefly considered slamming his head into the desk – it would certainly be distracting enough to direct his attention away from his shame. He had just tried to go back on his word – and he'd never live it down. For a while he stayed like that, simply sitting there, head down on the desk, and thinking about how he could have made the conversation go differently. He didn't cry, although he knew he probably should. Jeremy hadn't cried in a long time, partially due to the flip-flopping series of events that was his life, and partly because… well. Jeremy supposed he had been undergoing shock ever since the School Incident – he didn't feel anything but a pounding numbness whenever he tried to think about how many had died at his hands. His recent realization that the blood train wasn't going to stop there certainly didn't help, and neither did the fact that he had just alienated one of his few friends on this side. He almost chuckled at the 'alienated' joke, but wasn't feeling up to it.

He slowly became aware of a concerned feeling in his head, and it wasn't his own. But it wasn't Luna's, either – this feeling came from a different source. _Who is this?_ He tried, wondering if he was just being stupid and the feeling really was his own. An image of Celestia's frowning face flashed in his head, and she replied, sounding as if she were a bit distracted.

_Is there something wrong?_ She queried. Jeremy sent a mental image of him shaking his head, not knowing if it had come through. _Just had an argument with Chrysalis, and I don't want to talk about it,_ he answered. A feeling of understanding reached him, and ebbed away. Jeremy concentrated for a moment in case anything else was forthcoming, and when nothing happened he sighed once more and logged in to the computer.

It was exactly as he remembered it, games and all. For once, Jeremy avoided the bloodier ones – too many associations with what he didn't want to deal with. Finding that he didn't seem to have any games where there wasn't blood of some sort, he dejectedly signed out of his computer, staring for a while at the black screen.

Getting up, he decided he'd take the day off: Surely Luna and Celestia would understand that he couldn't cope, right? Part of him was telling him off for even daring to think of skipping work, but he resolutely ignored it and set off for his apartment.

12-26-13, 8:47 A.M.

As he arrived at his apartment, he slipped his shoes off and flopped into his bed, fully dressed. Maybe he would just sleep in for the rest of the day, or something. Jeremy stared up at the ceiling for a few hours, noting every crack and texture, before sinking into oblivion.

He was once again wandering around the halls of his school, but this time he was unarmed. Armed terrorists – or were they changelings? wandered about, and he was desperately trying to avoid them, while wondering where his metal pipe had gotten off to. Without being told, he somehow knew that if one of them saw him, he would be instantly dead. He ducked into a classroom as one of them came around the corner, and instantly fell into open space.

Jeremy landed in a very old-fashioned bedroom, comprised primarily of stone bricks and ornate ironwork. He looked out a window to find Luna outside, looking younger and playing with a stick, using her magic to levitate and swish it around as though she were fencing. He decided to join her, but as he opened the door of the bedroom, it disappeared. He was now trapped in the room, until the wall suddenly vanished, and Luna looked up at him, now back to her current age. Luna teleported up to him.

"What art thou doing here? Is it not daytime?" she asked, concerned. Jeremy was strangely unable to respond until she tapped him on the chest, a breath of air entering his lungs as he seemed to regain consciousness inside the dream.

"I… headed home for the day," he shamefacedly mumbled. Luna looked at him as though he had sprouted an extra limb.

"And what would cause you to do that?" she asked, with a hint of indignation – presumably over his leaving his post.

"Chrysalis and I had an argument, and I felt terrible, okay?!" Jeremy burst out suddenly, then sat down heavily in the tall grass. Luna sat by him.

She sighed deeply, wrapping a wing around him. "We understand you're upset. But you of all beings should know that you can't run away from your problems."

Jeremy immediately objected. "I wasn't running away, I was… I…" It occurred to him that he had done exactly that: run away without solving anything. "Oh my god," he whispered. "I'm an idiot."

Luna looked at him sympathetically. "We know it's hard. What pushed you two into a fight, anyway?"

Jeremy gave a dejected hum. "It was about the whole thing about Chrysalis being challenged," he clumsily answered. "She told me I'd actually be killing this time, and I kind of flipped out. I don't want to kill anymore!" he burst out, burying his face in his hands.

Luna seemed unsure what to say. "Do what thou think is best," she told him, lifting his head up with a hoof and planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. "But first… _wake up_."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

12-26-13, 11:34 A.M.

As soon as Jeremy woke up, he flung himself out of bed and strode out of his apartment, heading back towards the office. Speedwalking, he opened the door to find no changelings in the area. Jeremy crossed the room to the portal surface, and pressed the button. With a small shudder, the portal opened to reveal Chrysalis laying in the center of her room, surrounded by tiny changeling babies. She looked up at him, surprised, and Jeremy noticed her eyes were tinged with a chlorophyllic green – was that the changeling equivalent of being red-eyed? Chrysalis looked away.

"So… do you still want to fight?" she asked, getting to the point, and sounding like she had been crying herself. Jeremy lowered his eyes, starring at a wriggler who was tugging at his pants with its mouth. He sighed deeply, sat down, and gave it a quick head rub – it butted his hand with its head, desperate for more.

"I did promise," he sullenly replied. "And… to be fair, this is kind of my fault. I should have seen this coming," he finished. Chrysalis nodded, and lifted up a baby who was struggling to walk by the neck and deposited it by her side, where it instantly snuggled up. "So… what's with all the babies, anyway?" Jeremy asked.

Chrysalis gave a small chuckle. "They always cheer me up when I'm feeling sad – although I doubt you'd agree." The corner of Jeremy's mouth quirked into a smile.

"Are you kidding? This is adorable to watch." Surprised, Chrysalis smiled back. Jeremy continued to pet the tiny baby, then shied away as it attempted to bite him. "Hey!" he exclaimed, startled.

"I don't know what you were expecting – it's trying to feed on your love," Chrysalis explained, half-laughing. Jeremy grimaced and gently pushed the baby towards her, where it gladly latched onto her, apparently feeding off of her love.

Jeremy got up, recognizing he still had to work, and Chrysalis watched him through the portal. Remembering something, he stopped and turned around. "Hey, I keep seeing your changelings working on stuff. What's that all about?" he asked.

Chrysalis embarrassedly twirled a hoof on the floor. "Some of the changelings were interested in all the stuff to do, so I gave them permission to mess around a bit. I hope you don't mind?" she asked. Jeremy shook his head.

"As long as they don't break something, I'm okay with it. You might want to ask Luna, though, as she's in charge of all the official stuff." Chrysalis nodded agreeably, and Jeremy resumed heading to his desk.

He had nearly exhausted drawings for weapons last time, but that didn't mean some couldn't use an update or rehash – occasionally drawings were rejected with statements saying that even magic couldn't provide for that level of technology. Selecting one such drawing, he began to erase the labels of components, writing in new ones.

Jeremy kept at this for a solid hour before his body reminded him that he needed food. Thankfully, lunch was still in session, so he stepped out of the office and locked the door. Celestia was usually present at lunch, so he would get the chance to update her on the situation there. Approaching the food line, he grabbed a plate and set about making a sandwich, avoiding the more species-specific ingredients such as hay and grass.

Quickly finishing, he searched up and down the area for Celestia. Lunch was held in the gardens outside the castle, so it was sometimes hard to see everyone what with the maze of hedges. Walking around, he finally found her, enjoying a donut in a corner. "Hey, Celestia," he called out as he came within earshot. Celestia looked up. "How's it going?" she casually asked, setting down her donut on a plate laying on the grass.

"Pretty good," Jeremy answered. "Got the whole situation with Chrysalis resolved… although I still don't like it." He explained his reservations about committing murder once more, and Celestia nodded wisely.

"Not to equivalate the two, but I had similar reservations when I banished my sister to the moon – I always wondered whether there wasn't some more peaceful course of action. Why don't you put all that engineering skill towards solving that problem? You might find that the politics would allow for an exception if all other combatants were unable to fight, for instance," she pointed out. Jeremy nodded thoughtfully.

"Alright, thanks. See you tonight?" he asked. Celestia nodded, smiling slightly. With that, Jeremy set off back to his office.

Jeremy opened the locked door with his key, and headed towards his desk. Taking out a new sheet of paper, he began to sketch out a few ideas for an incapacitating weapon – something that wouldn't kill or hurt a changeling in the long run, but would make them unable to fight for at least a few days. A few ideas were instantly discarded as unsafe, and a few more as impractical. Finally, Jeremy had one or two ideas he thought would work, and set about developing these into more finished weapons.

It took him two solid hours to finish drawing, and one more to label everything. Jeremy always found it harder to draw original weapons, as he was used to fitting the technology to a pre-existing container, instead of the other way around. Finally, he was done, and he laid the papers in an "Outbox" tray on his desk before logging into his computer. Selecting a particularly bloody game, he winced a little at the gore – it still reminded him of terrible things – but otherwise thought he could handle it.

Before he knew it, it was dark outside. That meant it would soon be time for dinner, so he brought his current drawing to a decent stopping point and headed out. While he walked, Jeremy reflected on his schedule – school started back up in just a few days, on January 5th. Until then, he was probably going to hang out in Equestria, as this was a hell of a lot better than most winter breaks of his.

Dinner was much the same as lunch, only the gardens were lit by lamps, adding an interesting feeling to the area. Jeremy did his usual thing – ate without talking to anyone, put his dishes away, and headed towards the castle.

Celestia was, as usual, waiting on her throne, Luna beside her. As soon as Jeremy entered, Celestia stepped off her throne and approached him. "Hello, Jeremy," she casually greeted. Celestia then led him off to her private quarters. Once more laying down on her bed, she adopted a somewhat serious pose. "As soon as Luna gets back, we have something to show you," she informed him. Jeremy nodded.

"I also brought some cool stuff," he mentioned, and Celestia raised an eyebrow.

They waited for a few minutes, with Celestia returning to her book and Jeremy simply spacing out for a moment. For once, he wasn't really thinking about anything – a welcome relief after the stressing events of earlier that day.

Luna finally walked in, settling down next to Jeremy. "Sister, thou didn't show him already, did thou?" she asked. Celestia shook her head. "Good. In that case, please proceed," Luna told her, and Celestia pulled out a small rectangle of paper – another brochure, Jeremy realized. "We made it biannual," Luna commented, and Jeremy read the brochure - another karaoke night?

"I hope that doesn't inconvenience the planners or civilians too much," Jeremy mused.

"In fact, we put it to a vote – and the answer was overwhelmingly yes. Even the management didn't complain. Apparently they'll enjoy the extra business," explained Celestia.

"So, more singing. Hmm – the last time I sang, I proposed to someone," Jeremy pretended to think out loud. "I wonder what could possibly happen this time?" Celestia looked at him, a slight smile on her face.

"Is that a yes?" she asked.

Jeremy laughed. "Yeah, well, it's pretty much tradition at this point, so why not? Still have to figure out what song to sing – gotta parse all the symbolism and all that."

Celestia looked at him, intrigued. "There was symbolism? I must have missed it." Jeremy nodded.

"I try to make all the songs I pick have hidden meanings – it's kind of fun." Celestia frowned.

"I wish I could go back over the previous songs, then…" To her evident surprise, Jeremy held up a finger for her to wait and dug around in his pocket, finally pulling out a small cyan square of metal, about an eighth of an inch thick.

"This is a music player," he explained. "I can listen to thousands of songs at any time I wish, in good quality." Celestia examined the tiny music player, fascinated. "So, this button turns it on, and you touch the screen or drag it to do stuff," Jeremy explained. He then held up his pair of earbuds. "These fit in the ears, and play the sounds – that way you can listen to music in private."

With Jeremy's help, Celestia donned the earbuds and selected a song at random. Jeremy watched the expression on her face, which looked shocked before transitioning into a delighted smile. "This is amazing!" she commented, taking out one earbud. Jeremy grinned.

"Now, I believe you wanted to hear the songs I used previously – I set up a playlist for those." He showed her how to reach the playlist, and Celestia scrolled through the action music before tapping the first song after those. Jeremy left her to it, and dug into his pocket again, this time pulling out his cellphone.

Luna appraised the device. "Is this another music player? It looks larger," she commented. Jeremy shook his head.

"This is a phone," he replied. "It's also a miniature computer, text messaging device, music player, calculator, has some very simple games, and does a bunch of other stuff that I almost never use. It's pretty much my go-to device for when I need to do stuff but can't find an actual computer." Luna stared openmouthed, then looked up at him in disbelief.

"Surely thou art joking – such a small device cannot accommodate so many functions," she declared.

Jeremy merely raised an eyebrow and smiled, entering his password into the phone and showing her each one of the functions. "Gotta love miniaturized transistors," he commented.

He handed the phone off to Luna, who promptly turned it off. "Oh. Yeah, you've gotta be careful with that button," Jeremy remarked as he turned it back on and re-entered his password. Taking care to avoid the button, Luna scrolled around the phone, mesmerized by the touch screen and its bright colors. Jeremy looked around. "Well, my work here is done – you are both now addicted to modern electronics. Have fun!" he joked.

Celestia smiled, and showed him the screen of his MP3 player. "What do you think about this one?" she asked. Jeremy examined it, and thought deeply.

"You know what? That works perfectly, let's do it," he replied.

Celestia asked to keep the music player a little while longer, and Jeremy reluctantly agreed, wishing that some of the songs on there were a little less silly. Clearly reading his thoughts, Celestia laughed. "Oh, come on, they can't be that bad," she replied as she placed the MP3 player on her bedside desk.

Luna giggled as she gave him back his phone. "So, we believe Celestia owes you a massage this time," Luna commented in Celestia's direction, eliciting a blush from her.

"Oh, we're still doing that trade agreement?" Jeremy remarked, grinning. He got up and laid on the bed next to Celestia.

"Sister, I'm unsure of what to do here…" Celestia admitted, looking at Jeremy.

"Just follow my lead," Luna said, and started. Jeremy was quickly lost in a world of pleasure – he was vaguely aware of making indistinct moaning noises in ecstasy, and Celestia and Luna were giggling in the background.

What seemed like an eternity and also a split second later, they took their hooves off of him, and Jeremy got up. "Oh, thou actually managed to stay awake this time," Luna commented. Jeremy gave a quiet laugh, and Celestia looked over at Luna.

"Did he actually fall asleep when you did this?" Luna nodded, and Jeremy blushed. Celestia chuckled, and Jeremy promptly blushed even harder.

"So… is this what you two do in your off hours?" Jeremy asked. Celestia shrugged.

"When one spends their working hours constantly answering questions, making public appearances and ruling a country, a little time off can be just what one needs." Jeremy understood this, and nodded.

"Honestly, sister, thou make us sound so boring," Luna commented. Celestia laughed.

"I swear, we're interesting!" she fake-insisted. "You sure?" Jeremy commented mockingly.

Celestia leveled her gaze at him. "Want me to prove it?" she seductively replied. Jeremy immediately shut up, and Luna burst into laughter. Jeremy joined in after a second or two.

12-27-13, 12:46 A.M.

At about this time, Jeremy realized he should probably head to bed. He excused himself politely, and headed back to his apartment. When he got there, a note was posted to his door. Pulling it off, he stepped inside and read it by the lamplight. "Get over to the Hive early tomorrow – we have to get you trained. –Queen Chrysalis", he read aloud. "Ugh. Getting up early again…" he muttered, setting his alarm. He assumed 'early' meant sunrise, so he set it to 5:30 A.M. and crawled into bed.

For a while, Jeremy lay there staring at the dark ceiling. He knew he should concentrate on going to sleep, but all he could think about was this so-called training, and the battle he was being 'trained' for. There was a notable difference between his normal style – just rushing into battle and rolling with it – as compared to actually training for things. Jeremy wondered how exactly he would be 'training' – would he be mock-fighting changelings? He didn't look forward to it – never had. Also, it occurred to him that he should probably also be working on that incapacitory weapon. He'd have to wait for the R&D team to approve the design, but it should be fairly simple – and suitably ironic.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

12-27-13, 5:35 A.M.

Jeremy was frantically looking around for his suit – where had he left it? He'd lost track of the darn thing lately, and now it was missing on the one day he needed it most. Finding nothing, he decided to head out, and to mention to Chrysalis that he'd lost it and would have to make another one.

Jeremy opened the office door, searching fruitlessly for his suit before blearily making his way over to the portal. Stepping through, he noticed that the room was suspiciously devoid of all objects; even Chrysalis' cocoon was removed. He was about to contemplate this when he felt a weight land on him from behind. Whipping around, he spotted a changeling with a yellow shell, and this snapped him out of his sleepiness. Acting quickly, he punched the changeling right on the snout, and as it reeled back, he pounced back on it, using his superior weight as the advantage. Jeremy then began to simply punch it over and over again, aiming for the windpipe, the stomach, the face, and delivering the fastest flurry of blows he had ever given – he was pretty sure he was going to die if he didn't.

After a few minutes of this, the changeling stopped struggling to escape and went limp. Jeremy picked it up distastefully, and holding it by the scruff of the neck, brought it outside of the room – to an observing Chrysalis. Jeremy was surprised by this, but the changeling he was holding suddenly decided to jerk its head up, and he immediately reacted by slamming it into the nearest wall. "Hey, knock it off, the test's over!" Chrysalis protested. Jeremy stopped slamming the changeling into the wall, and gave it another look – its shell color had changed to Chrysalis' blue-green.

"That was a test?" he asked, dropping the changeling, who hit the floor with a thud and groaned.

"Yes. Needless to say, you passed – the point was you could be ambushed at any moment," Chrysalis explained. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"I knew that," he replied irritatedly. "Now, have you seen my suit? I seem to have lost it." Chrysalis laughed, and turned around, the crowd of spectating changelings parting for her and allowing Jeremy to follow.

They came to a hole in the wall Jeremy hadn't noticed before – unlike all the other cavities in the cave, this one actually had a tunnel dug into it. Unfortunately, the tunnel was only a few feet high, and Chrysalis examined it. "Hmm. Might have to have it brought out to you, actually – forgot you weren't changeling-sized." Jeremy rolled his eyes, pushed her aside, and started crawling through the hole. It was fairly spacious, but a short while later it got much smaller – Jeremy thought even a changeling might have to crawl through this.

Flattening himself against the floor, he squeezed through, emerging into another large cavern on the other side – about twice the size of Chrysalis' room. Here, relics from an age past could be seen: parts of gunships, machine guns, and even a few sniper rifles. Chrysalis herself easily crawled through the entrance, and Jeremy surveyed the room distastefully. "You still have this?" he asked accusingly. "Well, we weren't exactly going to disassemble it," Chrysalis commented. It made sense, but Jeremy still didn't like the idea of guns being a possible contender in future events – it didn't fit with the show. Then again, _he_ didn't fit with the show.

In the middle, his suit was propped up on a tilted table, and a lamp was placed over it. Jeremy stared at the modifications. For one thing, the suit had been outfitted with what appeared to be metal enhancements – upon closer inspection, these were actually a thin layer of metal with the strange, porous material that denoted changeling architecture filling the interior – although it appeared to have a different texture, and the swiss cheese-like holes were notably smaller, maybe a half a millimeter or so at largest. All in all, the suit had taken on a very specific shape, and Jeremy grinned evilly. Turning to face Chrysalis, he swept her up into a hug, and she gasped in surprise before returning it uncertainly. Jeremy let her down after a moment, before casually slipping into the suit, noting how cool and still lightweight it was. "So, I guess you'll be wanting the list of upgrades, so here goes. By the way, this was a secret project between me and Luna – Happy Whatever-Your-Favorite-Holiday-Is." Jeremy laughed, and she flashed him a smile before continuing. "Internal cooling or heating to adjust for temperature, external non-invasive vital sign sensors, a miniature synthesizer and microneedle for medication and anti-poison, not to mention repairing organs, bones, blood and tissue. Really, you couldn't die with this thing on even if you tried," she remarked.

"What if some of this stuff breaks?" Jeremy asked, concerned – even bulletproofing only got you so far. Chrysalis looked at him with what appeared to be a hint of suspicion.

"Strangely enough, we found that we couldn't damage the suit – it repaired itself. Since you can't do magic, and your old suit was supposedly destroyed anyway by Nightmare Moon, who did this?" Jeremy knew exactly who, but he wasn't going to say it.

"I know what happened, and it happened while I was dead, and that is all I can say on the matter," he replied. Chrysalis looked at him.

"You know, someday you're going to have to tell me – I can't bear secrets." Jeremy sighed and nodded – even though it really wasn't up to him, nor was he sure he was even supposed to hide the existence of Solaris and Orion from any but their daughters in the first place.

Chrysalis pulled out a helmet, which of course was his old helmet with a few new modifications, such as what appeared to be a miniature gas filter on the breathing holes, which were now relegated to the front. "This hooks up with your suit, and we altered the infrared chip on your glasses to serve the same function in case you ever lose your helmet. Now, both can tell you when a changeling is disguised as something else – but we haven't worked out a way to tell if changelings are disguised as other changelings, and that's a problem because that's most likely what you'll be facing in the arena." Jeremy stared at her.

"Really? Even you can't tell?" Chrysalis shook her head. "Hmm… what if we used some kind of code message?" Jeremy wondered.

"No, because then any changeling who listened in or happened to overhear would know it," Chrysalis countered. Jeremy made a short groan of frustration.

"Well, I can't just go around attacking every changeling I see – I'm assuming your changelings will be on the field as well?" To his surprise, Chrysalis shook her head.

"Nope, just you out there – but occasionally one of us will come out to assist you if you should ever need help." Jeremy waved her offer away.

"Either I win, or I die – I won't need much help either way."

Chrysalis looked at him, concerned. "You sure? Even for someone who's died before, that's a little cavalier," she noted. Jeremy was indifferent.

"I'll be fine – this suit is too overpowered for me to lose." Chrysalis seemed to have her doubts, but apparently decided to not continue the conversation.

They crawled out of the secret room, Jeremy in the lead. As he slowly stood up, stretching after crouching for a while, the changelings surveyed his new armor. "Anyone got a crowbar?" Jeremy jokingly asked before putting on his helmet, and Chrysalis went around in front of him to talk to him. One drawback of the helmet, Jeremy noted, was that his peripheral vision was gone.

"Can you hear me?" she asked, and Jeremy nodded before realizing she couldn't see it.

"Yes," he replied, hoping his voice carried through the suit. Chrysalis smiled in response, and led him over to the crowd of changelings.

"Now, your training will start tomorrow – I want you to get used to the suit today. Wear it as long as possible, and try out some of the functions – but don't poison yourself," Chrysalis jokingly lectured.

Jeremy gave an amused chuckle, replying "No promises." Chrysalis laughed for a second, before becoming businesslike once more.

"Right. So, what weapons will you be using?" she asked.

"Actually, been meaning to ask about that. Do I strictly _have_ to murder all of the opponents, or is incapacitating them also okay?" Jeremy asked.

Chrysalis looked at him. "If you could incapacitate every single other opponent, I think they'd have to invent a new rule to deal with it."

Jeremy grinned. "Sounds good to me. Been developing a vapor-based tranquilizer weapon – kind of like the love machine, but it puts anyone to sleep for a few days." Chrysalis considered this, interested.

"Well, assuming they don't get up for a long while… you might be able to get your wish - but couldn't you incapacitate them with regular guns, the way you did before?" she asked. Jeremy considered this for a moment.

"Really, the point I want to make is that all this violence and pain could so easily be avoided, they aren't even necessary," he explained.

Chrysalis looked at him. "Quite the pacifist you've become. Alright, if that weapon works, I'll allow it." Jeremy raised a fist in triumph, and Chrysalis theatrically rolled her eyes.

Chrysalis retreated into her room, and Jeremy followed. From there, she adopted an extremely seductive pose. "Now, I know I said to keep the suit on, but I don't think anyone would mind if you took it off for just one moment," she suggested. Jeremy looked down at her – was she…? Yes. Yes, she was. Oh boy.

"I uh… I'm actually kind of waiting on Celestia – I felt she kind of deserved next turn after what she's been through," he falteringly replied.

After looking at him for a moment, Chrysalis sighed and stood up. "Oh. Okay then," she responded, before sitting down heavily.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Jeremy pleaded.

"Yes, I know! It's just… when do I get a turn?" she demanded. Jeremy took a moment to control his frustration – both at himself and at the world around him.

"Okay. Look. How about this. First thing after I get done with Celestia, I'll go straight over to you, no hesitation or anything. We'll do a song, because that seems to be a thing between me and everyone I love, and then I'll be down for that," Jeremy declared. "Fair?"

Chrysalis looked at him. "And you won't beat around the bush?"

Jeremy shook his head. "If I do, you have rights to smack me upside the head."

Chrysalis grinned. "It's a deal." Jeremy shook her hoof, and then exited the room.

He felt pretty bad about doing that, but Jeremy still felt like his reasoning was valid. Celestia's own bitter disappointment had led her to insanity – he couldn't do that to her again. Whereas Chrysalis understood all this, even if she wasn't willing to admit it – in fact, Jeremy supposed she understood a great deal more than he did. She was well versed in pony romance – and changeling romance too, he thought as he sat down and continued to design the new weapon. He had a paper in his inbox – his old design had been rejected, with a comment asking how he himself would avoid the soporific vapors. Jeremy frustratedly groaned – that was just stupidity on his part. Well, wait. He had an idea that might solve the problem.

Jeremy scrolled through a list of solvents for the tranquilizers he had chosen, finding a particularly viscous one and making a note of it. Chrysalis had looked over his list of compounds, crossing out a few she claimed didn't work too well on changelings. Next, he drew a rocket-launcher-esque barrel, adding a few notes at the back for a special launching mechanism. Finally, he drew a synthesizer pointing out the top, and a second synthesizer adapted to produce a membrane-like substance – like rubber, without the sulfur crosslinking, as he didn't want to have to go around looking for sulfur.

12-27-13, 9:40 A.M.

Jeremy sat back, rubbing his eyes – he had been staring at the drawing for quite a while, making sure everything was in place, worked, and everything else that constituted a successful weapon. Placing the paper in his Outbox tray and hoping that this one worked, he wandered off to get breakfast.

Finding that the castle breakfast was closed at this point, he visited a shop, buying a simple sandwich and a few sweets. Finding nothing else to do, and wondering if he should actually just go back to sleep for a while, he headed back to the office.

His paper was gone – presumably they had somehow visited while he was out to breakfast. Or maybe there was some teleportation going on? Intrigued but too lazy to test this, Jeremy settled for another round of gaming and drawing. He had to admit, this was clearly the best job – it was a bit like reverse play-testing his games, only without all the tedious glitch hunting. Plus, the sack of gold coins he got every week gave him no small thrill. It occurred to him that he should probably spend that on something, as right now it was just sort of sitting in his room and accumulating. The worst part was, it was solid gold – if he tried to spend it back home, he'd probably end up crashing the economy. However, he certainly could set some aside for a college fund – his parents' accounts had been distributed to their various relatives, leaving him significantly more wealthy but not nearly enough to get him through college without debt.

The rest of the day went uneventfully – he got used to the new features and geometry of his suit only after bumping into just about everything – the problem with the new cover armor was that his chest was much thicker than it used to be. He did notice that the suit was heated and cooled so that he was always comfortable. The sheet metal didn't weigh down on him too much, and he still had the extradimensional pocket for storing things – and it still held all of his guns. Speaking of which, Jeremy realized, it was about time he made another portal gun – the last one was currently only so many radioactive molecules drifting about in space.

Going to dinner, he found that Celestia was waiting outside the entrance to the gardens. "Ready for tomorrow?" she asked as they went inside.

"Sure am. You know the lyrics?" he inquired in return, and Celestia nodded.

As they ate, both slightly fidgeted, uncomfortable. "So… New suit, I see," Celestia commented.

"Yeah. The changelings made this, apparently – it's got a bunch of upgrades to it now." Jeremy replied as he popped a fry in his mouth.

Celestia nodded appreciatively. "How's the tranquilizer weapon coming?" she continued. Jeremy waved his hand in a so-so motion as he finished the last of his fries.

"First design got rejected, waiting on approval for the second," he explained.

They continued to have small talk for the rest of the dinner, marking the first time where Jeremy had stayed around instead of eating and immediately leaving. And despite his asocial preferences, all in all the experience wasn't that bad.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: This is another smut chapter, as denoted by the * on the chapter name. So, once again, if this is not your forte, you may skip this chapter and a summary will be provided at the start of the next one. In this case, we will most likely be having two back-to-back smut chapters, so two summaries will be provided in Chapter 29.**

**Chapter 27**

12-28-13, 6:00 A.M.

Jeremy sauntered into the hive, ready for just about anything. He was therefore surprised when Chrysalis was waiting for him outside, no attack in sight. "So, what're we doing today?" Jeremy asked. In answer, Chrysalis gestured towards an area that had a few of the larger changelings milling about. Speaking of larger changelings… "Where's that huge one? Chitin, or something?" Jeremy asked. Chrysalis gestured towards the nursery, where muffled thumps could be heard as though some giant object – presumably Chitin – was having a party.

"The wrigglers love him," Chrysalis explained, "…And it keeps him busy." Jeremy shrugged – the thought of a changeling the size of a building taking care of the adorable, tiny infant changelings only made the spectacle that much cuter.

He walked over to the larger changelings, most of whom nodded in greeting. "So… what exactly are we-" Jeremy began, but a changeling tackled him before he could finish. And judging by the dripping green fangs, this one meant business. He shifted his position so his legs were under it, and kicked it off. Jumping up, he noticed that he had been promptly surrounded. Jeremy grimly took out his metal pipe – at the sight of it, some of the changelings backed away, still hissing. The ones that still came after him stayed out of arm's reach, so after a few swings he switched to the assault rifle. This caused them to burst into action, but they didn't attack him – instead they took to the air. Jeremy grimaced – hadn't they tried this before?

He took aim, and was about to start firing when he was knocked onto his front by the recuperated changeling from earlier. "Remember where everyone is, idiot!" Chrysalis yelled from the sidelines, and the surrounding changelings snickered. Okay, now he was pissed. Jeremy began to issue bursts of hot lead into the air, and these hit a few stray changelings.

The fight went on for hours – it seemed like every single damn changeling that had fought him before was returning for a second round. Eventually, Jeremy settled into a sort of routine, and began to move around the hive instead of staying stationary. The changelings that were defeated were quickly carted off – and Jeremy didn't really care what happened to them so long as they didn't reenter the fight. He was startled out of his daze by a particularly boisterous changeling who insisted on getting close enough to where his gun wasn't working. When it tried it again, Jeremy snapped his arm out and punched it on the nose, stunning it so he could step back and dispatch it with a burst from his rifle – which still had infinite bullets. At this point, Chrysalis was openly smiling, though Jeremy did his best to ignore her and focus.

12-28-13, 12:32 P.M.

"Alright, stop," Chrysalis called out. The remaining changelings, which seemed noticeably fewer – how many had he beat? Jeremy briefly wondered – slunk off. After taking a moment to ensure the fight was actually over, he leaned against the wall, tired but twitching from adrenaline. "It took a while, but you've still got it," Chrysalis remarked.

"Why did I even use guns? The whole point is not to use them, remember?" Jeremy asked irritably.

"That was a just-in-case scenario – if you had lost the weapon, say, or it got broken. When the Equestrian research team finishes building it, you can test fighting with it all you like. Until then? More running, jumping and shooting." Jeremy groaned, and Chrysalis gave him a 'dismissed' signal with her hoof. As he left, Jeremy noticed that most of the changelings around the love machine today had bullet wounds – and were apparently just fine after they fed. Huh.

Jeremy exited the portal into his office, wiping the sweat from his brow. The adrenaline had kept him going at the time, but now that he had had a chance to slow down and stop fighting, it hit him how tired he was – he could use a nap. But, unfortunately, he did have things to do. Approaching his desk, he saw a note in his inbox. Jeremy pulled it out and read it over in his head. "Liquid-based Tranquilizer Launcher, Approved," was written across the top. Below it appeared to be a personal note from Princess Luna. "Take the day off and practice your singing – not to mention rest! Chrysalis contacted me about what you're doing, and you need to sleep more. Love, Luna", he finished. He was tempted to write an appreciative thank-you note back, but it would be a waste of time – he could just thank her in person later tonight.

He practiced his singing – effectively a useless exercise in terms of actual practice value, but it did help his confidence. As usual, it was perfect – and Jeremy was beginning to suspect why. Thankfully, his suit still provided music, although the speaker was now hidden somewhere inside the front, the sound coming out the top just below his head. Of course, because it was a duet song, it went a little oddly without Celestia actually present, but his part was just fine. Jeremy finished his lyrics, and satisfied with the results, he pulled out a book from his backpack and began reading, glad of the relaxation. Unfortunately, he had read this book quite a few times before – Jeremy didn't find much interest in new book series nowadays. He put the book down, marking his page, and casted about for something else to read or do. It occurred to him that he could revisit the Canterlot library in hopes of finding a fiction book, but he didn't feel like moving around at the moment – he was still very tired. So, what to read? Starved for ideas, he pulled out some of his drawers, vaguely remembering that he had read something while he was here. And at the bottom of the largest drawer lay a stack of heavily written-on pages – Lyra's script! Jeremy pulled it out, noting where he had left off last time. Settling down on his bed, he turned a page and began to read.

To be fair, it was a fascinating story. Plenty of romance and intrigue, even if the characters were slightly two-dimensional – and one of them seemed like a bit of a Mary Sue to Jeremy. Wait… wasn't this supposed to be the origins of his own world? Hmm. Jeremy wondered about this for a while, and then shrugged and continued reading.

12-28-13, 5:07 P.M.

After a while, he put the latest page down, blushing heavily – well. Um… He'd probably better come back to that part when he wasn't so flustered. But hey, at least he had managed to kill time. He only had an hour before dinner, and then a few more hours after that until the show. So… what to do? Jeremy was starting to get kind of bored – having a day off had its benefits, but after a while you just ran out of things to do. He was tempted to take another trip into dreamland, but he felt a little apprehensive for doing so, considering Luna had basically told him off for doing so last time.

Thankfully, he had plenty of paper, and pencils were not hard to come by. Even more luckily, he had remembered to bring a pencil sharpener from Earth. Unfortunately, either he had the worst luck in manufacturing or was just really bad at sharpening pencils – he kept snapping the point off. After Jeremy finally got a working pencil, he began to doodle. The sketches quickly turned to pictures of his friends here – Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis being prominent. From there, they turned to drawings of all the scenes he'd been through – he tried to sketch areas such as the Canterlot caves, the Ponyville town square where he had first arrived, and the final showdown with Nightmare Moon among them. Too bad he couldn't draw.

Despite Jeremy's woeful inadequacy at drawing what was so vivid in his mind, he did manage to keep himself occupied until dinner. Dinner was inside now, due to the cold weather – the dining hall was comfortably warm. Seeking out Celestia, he found her deep in conversation with Luna, the two stopping only when he approached. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked, politely concerned.

Luna shook her head. "No, we were just discussing some royal business. Care to join our table?" Jeremy accepted, taking a seat across from the two of them. It was a fairly small table, so they could still converse easily.

"Hey, Luna," Jeremy began, and Luna perked up. "Just wanted to thank you for the day off – that was nice." Luna nodded her head in polite agreement.

"We thought you might want the time off – Chrysalis tells us you've been working hard." Jeremy placed his elbow on the table, leaning into his hand in a gesture of exhaustion.

"Oh, you have no idea," he replied. To show them he wasn't actually displeased with the training, he gave a weak smile before going back to his food. The conversation wasn't too interesting after that, so he excused himself and headed back to the apartment complex.

12-28-13, 10:00 P.M.

After keeping himself somewhat entertained for a few hours, Jeremy decided he couldn't stand the boredom and headed out early, making sure his suit was still musically functioning before leaving. Satisfied that it was, he ventured towards the restaurant, only to become aware of a growing commotion.

It seemed like all of Equestria had stayed up to watch Celestia sing – Jeremy sorely reflected on Luna's comparative obscurity. The whole area was crowded to the point of impassability – he simply could not get through. Fortunately, there was a back alley he could duck through, and a few hopped fences later he was directly behind the restaurant building. He entered a back door to find the staff staring at him. "Front entrance was blocked completely," he explained, and most nodded and pointed him to a door on his right. Entering it, he exited onto the stage, and stepped down. Celestia and Luna were waiting in the audience, and looking at him curiously. "Took the back entrance," he said by way of greeting, and Luna nodded understandingly.

"Art thou ready?" she asked, and Celestia looked at him, seemingly interested in the answer.

"I, uh… didn't expect this to be so popular," he responded. Celestia blushed slightly and looked away.

"Sorry about that – I hope you aren't too nervous?" Jeremy suddenly remembered his old days as a blossoming drama student, which he had given up in favor of his other hobbies. He might have the mental fortitude to engage in street gunfights, but did he seriously have the guts to sing in front of a crowd of what looked like hundreds?

Jeremy referred back to his old standard for dealing with psychological problems, which was _Screw it, just get it over with_. He nodded grimly. "I can handle it."

The ponies started slowly filing in, and Jeremy appreciated how relatively few tables there were – that would make this somewhat easier. The other singers were lining up backstage, and he motioned for Celestia to follow as he got up and headed back towards the stage. Looks like he wasn't the only one who was nervous, Jeremy noted as he waited backstage with Celestia and the others. Most of the others had noticed the popularity of this show, and were sweating bullets. After reassuring them that they were going to be fine, he went back to taking several deep breaths of his own. He was going to enjoy singing the song, that was true… but all the same, he wished this night was already over. There were quite a few other singers, and once again he and Celestia were scheduled near the end. Jeremy watched them progress with increasing trepidation. Finding nothing else to do, he turned to Celestia, who was casually brushing her hair. "You sure you're ready?" he asked. Celestia calmly nodded. Inside, Jeremy groaned. Right. She was the princess, stuff like this was nothing new to her.

Finally, it was their turn. Feeling his heartbeat increase to what he thought might be dangerous levels, he took advantage of the lighting overhead to temporarily blind himself, thus making him unable to see the actual audience. Ah. That was better. The music started, and he calmly waited for his turn to start.

"I opened my eyes… last night… and saw you in the lowlight… Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren't there anymore… I was feeling the night, grow old, and you were looking so cold… Like an introvert, I drew my overshirt, around my arms and began to shiver violently…" As he sang, Jeremy easily relaxed – it was soothing to hear himself.

Celestia was absent for a moment, then as he finished and the music preluded her part, she walked on stage to some applause. "Turn together, it's just never quite in love~!" sang Celestia.

"When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home," Jeremy joined in.

"What will it take to make or break the scent of love?" she continued, gazing at him with an expression of utmost satisfaction.

"We need time! Only time…" Jeremy replied, grinning at her. For now, she was all he could see, and that was fine by him.

Once they finished their duet, wild applause could be heard from the audience – and from outside. In fact, Jeremy realized that their performance had probably been broadcast to the entire outside world. Celestia smiled at him once more, and Jeremy realized her eyes were watery. In fact, he was very nearly crying as well – he'd forgotten how good that felt. "So… Celestia… how would you like to be with me?" Jeremy asked while they were still on stage.

Celestia bowed her head. "Yes… I would." They hugged to raucous applause, and then exited backstage.

Jeremy wanted to wait until the other singers finished, but Celestia evidently had other plans. After a nod from Luna, Jeremy found the two of them standing in her bedroom. Jeremy blushed. "Quick on the draw, aren't you?" he asked, to which Celestia giggled. A second later, he found that all his clothes, including his suit, were once again missing. Shocked by the sudden cold, he drew his arms around himself. Celestia grinned as she gestured for him to join her on the bed. He sat down, and before he could react, she had kissed him deeply on the lips.

After spending a moment like that, he drew away, and Celestia looked at him with an element of nervousness on her facial features. "I hope you don't think I'm going too fast," she admitted, recalling both of them back to their earlier encounters. To her surprise, Jeremy pulled her back into the kiss.

"No," he said, once they had pulled away once again. "This is perfect."

Celestia smiled, and rolled onto her back, her dripping marehood present. Jeremy blushed as he looked at it – he'd never get used to the sight of that. He himself was already aroused – he had been the moment his clothes came off. "You know what to do next," Celestia said, and Jeremy nodded. He positioned himself over her, and she moaned a little as he entered. "Oh! I can see why Luna enjoyed this," she commented as he slowly started moving.

"I really think you two should reconsider – I'm not the biggest there is," he replied. Celestia, showing astonishing flexibility, leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's not like we choose our partners for their body… although that is a sweet bonus," she responded, and Jeremy remembered another conversation he had had with Chrysalis. He looked at her mock-suspiciously, and Celestia giggled.

They continued like this for a while longer, until Jeremy blushed even deeper as he said "I'm ready… you?" Celestia nodded, and Jeremy finished, hugging her tightly. For a while, they just lay there like that, panting.

Finally, Jeremy rolled over next to her, wrapping an arm around her and breathing deeply. "…You're not asleep, are you?" Celestia asked, and he gave a tired laugh.

"No… just resting." Celestia smiled and laid her head next to his.

As they laid together, Jeremy considered his luck. He'd managed to bed both of the Equestrian royalty… and apparently they both enjoyed it. Not bad for a guy who was still in high school, huh? Some part of him still wished he were older, stronger…bigger, but another part of him responded that if he was good enough here, that should be enough for him. Jeremy sighed contentedly and went back to sleep, arms around Celestia like she was his life support – which she practically was, at this point.

**Additional A/N: Due to spoilers, I couldn't place this with the rest - song is Saltwater Room, by Owl City and featuring Lights. And yes, Lights was chosen specifically for the pun.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

12-29-13, 6:02 A.M.

As Jeremy woke up, he became aware that Celestia was no longer beside him. Pushing himself up into a sitting position and pulling on his suit, he looked around, only to hear a humming noise and the sound of rushing water coming from an adjacent door. Apparently, Celestia was showering. Having mentally noticed he was awake, she sent a brief image of her smile his way telepathically before calling out "Just getting ready to raise the sun." Jeremy acknowledged this mentally. "Hey, I'm going to head back to my apartment, then. Anything you need?" he replied. Celestia exited the shower, grabbing a towel with magic and refusing his offer by shaking her head. She might have been technically naked all the time, but Jeremy still blushed at seeing her dripping wet and toweling herself off – some human psychological coding, he supposed. Plus, it was Celestia. He still couldn't get over that.

"Hey, you look a little strange. Are you feeling all right?" Celestia asked, concerned.

"Yeah, it's just… I can't believe the two of you are in love with me. You two are practically gods, right?" Jeremy mused. Celestia kissed him on the cheek.

"Just because we control the sun and moon doesn't mean we're immune to love," she replied, and left to attend to her duties. After a while, Jeremy smiled and exited the room himself, gently closing the door.

Of course, he still wanted to get the proper amount of sleep. So, he headed back into his apartment, and was about to perform the most graceful swan dive into his bed when he noticed there was a small square of paper already in it. Unfolding it, he read another official royal notice, this time stamped with both Celestia's and Luna's seals. "By the order of the two Princesses of Equestria, the human Jeremy has been officially appointed the Royal Pony-Changeling International Advisor, and may carry out all duties as such." Underneath this was a note from Luna. "Chrysalis is still waiting? You should fix that soon." Embarrassed, Jeremy grinned before setting the notes on his desk, taking off his suit and crawling into bed. _Sleep first, Chrysalis next_, he thought as he slipped away from reality.

12-29-13, 12:12 P.M.

As he woke up again, Jeremy felt pretty good. The events of earlier that morning seemed like a day ago already, but he knew they weren't – it was always weird when he took a nap. Feeling refreshed, he swung over the balcony and fell off the edge of the stairs, his boots cushioning him. Grinning at the shock absorbers, he set off for the office.

By the time he arrived, he had realized that his key was trapped in his pants pocket under the suit, and was struggling to get it out. Having finally done so by the time he got there, he inserted it and turned it, only to find that the door was already open. _Okay, that was dumb_, he thought, and stepped inside.

The office, as usual, was deserted, and he briefly considered taking off his suit – despite all its features, it was still slightly bulky to wear. However, Chrysalis would probably attack him if he did so, and Jeremy resolved to keep it on as he stepped through the portal to the hive.

As soon as he entered, his suit started playing music that he only faintly recognized. Alarmed, he looked around to find he was surrounded by changelings. They gestured him outside, and Jeremy confusedly followed to find Chrysalis, humming along to the beat before she began singing. "No more gas, in the red, can't even get it started," she began, and Jeremy immediately recognized the song. He leveled his gaze at her, half delighted and half amused – well, he _did_ say a song was required at this point. Chrysalis, noticing his expression, winked and continued. "Where are your brakelights~? You're in the city of wonder, and gon' play nice! Better think twice! Watch out, you might just go under – Better think twice, make sure you follow the altar, so if you must falter, be wise…" she sang as she circled around him. Jeremy followed her, unsure of what to do. The changelings in the back were keeping up the beat, mimicking the voice perfectly – which was one thing they were already really good at.

As Chrysalis continued singing, Jeremy slowly became aware that she had remembered his favorite thing – symbolism. Every time "city of wonder" or "city of lights" was spoken, the green sacs that covered the walls and ceiling lit up, painting the entire massive cavern in an eerie, shifting green light. Plus, the song was mostly about a mysterious affliction that had taken the singer by surprise – this was obviously love. Chrysalis finished the last of her lines – after all, it was a fairly short song – and the suit stopped playing music. She stepped towards him. "So… how was that? Not exactly a love song, but I thought it fit, don't you?" she asked.

Jeremy grinned. "That was perfect," he complimented while looking around at the group of changelings who had been helping with the singing – each of them looked away, a green tinge creeping onto their cheeks. Chrysalis chuckled and gestured back towards her room. As she and Jeremy walked towards it, the crowd of changelings who had been watching – when had so many arrived? – parted to make room for them, some cheering. Jeremy blushed furiously, and Chrysalis burst into laughter.

"Oh, you wriggler – you're going to have to get used to that _someday_," she teased him.

They entered her room, and Chrysalis lit up her horn. A single red rose appeared out of nowhere, and floated over to Jeremy, who looked at it before trying to hold back laughter. "Really? A rose? How cliché of you," he teased back. Chrysalis laughed and pounced at him, and before he knew it, they were on top of her cocoon. As far as cocoons went, it was like a cross between a bean chair and a water bed, and highly comfortable, although moving about felt odd.

"So, Mr. Changeling Ambassador," Chrysalis started mockingly, and Jeremy grinned up at her, surprised but still willing to play along. "What would you like to do with me today?" she asked, tracing a hoof along the panels of his suit.

"Oh, you know. A game of Monopoly, maybe a few card games?" Jeremy replied innocently. Chrysalis giggled, and teleported his suit off.

"You know, I'm starting to get tired of you ladies ripping my clothes off every day," Jeremy remarked. "Maybe I'd just like to take off my own clothes for once, or something." Chrysalis shook her head.

"If you don't want us taking off your clothes, maybe you should stop wearing them!" she retorted. Jeremy bit back the culturally obvious response.

Chrysalis looked down to find him already aroused just by being naked. "Well, _someone_ wants to get going," she commented as she shifted her position, stopping when her head was positioned just above the tip.

"I can't help that, it's-" Jeremy protested, but was cut off when she started caressing it with her tongue. For the first time, Jeremy noted a changeling's tongue: It was very long, prehensile, and quite thin, with a forked end. Whatever he had been about to say before, Jeremy had already forgotten it as she used her tongue to squeeze and kiss him in the oddest places. "Enjoying yourself?" Chrysalis asked, grinning evilly. Jeremy had no reply, as he was too busy trying to control his raging hormones.

"No response?" she mercilessly continued as she stopped her tongue work and switched sides, her opening ready to receive him. "Then I'll have to make you scream!" She pushed down ruthlessly, and for a moment Jeremy's pleasure gave way to shock – he gave a short grunt of pain before settling back down. Chrysalis giggled at his reaction, and began moving, straddling him atop the cocoon. Too fast for him to react, she pushed herself up and down his shaft, using her weight to stop him from moving and to keep herself steady. Finally, Jeremy couldn't take it anymore, and his back arched as he came inside her, Chrysalis surprised at the sudden motion. For a moment, she stopped and surveyed him. "That was all? I haven't nearly finished yet – I expected more from a person with such endurance," she mocked. Rising to the bait, Jeremy grabbed her hips and pushed back down, eliciting a gasp from her. He could barely handle himself after his first orgasm, but he sure as hell wasn't about to back down now. "Ooh, taking charge, I see," Chrysalis moaned as he moved for her. His only response was a grin – he had to concentrate or he would lose himself to pleasure again. After just a minute or two, Chrysalis' gasps gave way to louder and louder moans, and her inner walls clamped down on him, breaking his concentration and causing them both to finish at the same time.

They lay on top of the cocoon, taking a moment to rest. "So… was that… what you expected?" panted Jeremy.

"Ohh yes…" Chrysalis replied, still smiling. Another thought occurred to Jeremy, and he suspected he wasn't the only one who was thinking this. The first time they had met, they were mortal enemies. The second, grudging allies. And now… Now, they were more than friends. Jeremy sometimes wondered if he had done something really good in a past life at times like this – after all, normal people didn't get this kind of romantic luck.

After a while, Jeremy felt cold enough to push Chrysalis off of him, seeking his suit. "Don't you have any insulation on that ridiculous hide of yours?" Chrysalis complained, noticing him shivering.

"No, and I don't want any – interferes with motion," Jeremy answered. It was true he was skinny as a nail, but that was more genetics than anything – or so it seemed. Finally finding his suit in a corner, he slipped it on, and returned to his position, cuddling Chrysalis as he had with Celestia and Luna. "Chrysalis, why the hell are so many ponies attracted to me?" he wondered aloud.

"Probably something to do with your hero status? And the way you go out of your way to save them, risking life and limb just to protect those you hardly know? We tend to like that," answered Chrysalis seriously. Jeremy could think of no reply to this, so he simply went back to hugging Chrysalis, pressing her body firmly into his so the both of them were warm. Chrysalis seemed to enjoy the attention, and closed her eyes for a moment, before making a purring sound. Her eyes flew open and she stopped, sitting up rapidly.

"Did you just…" Jeremy asked.

"No!" Chrysalis frantically answered.

Jeremy burst out laughing. "That is so cute!" he exclaimed, and Chrysalis blushed green.

"Don't you _dare_ tell anyone," she threatened. Jeremy was still laughing.

"Relax, I won't tell a soul," he promised. "Still, that is ridiculously adorable," he added after a pause and Chrysalis swatted at him with her front foreleg. Still laughing, he got up, making a placating gesture with his hands. After a short moment, Chrysalis laughed as well.

"Sorry, I just – if word got out…" she explained. Jeremy dismissed her faltered attempts with a wave of his hand. "It's fine, really."

With that, he left, Chrysalis actually cheerfully waving him good-bye as he exited through the portal. Jeremy rolled his eyes – looked like he wasn't the only secretly hopeless romantic around here. He sat down at his desk and pulled out another sheet of paper, and began drawing. His doodles this time were centered around Chrysalis – and he found the subject noticeably easier now that he had gotten so close to her. Satisfied with the results, Jeremy put the drawing away and went back to focusing on his actual work.

12-29-13, 2:07 P.M.

Jeremy decided to play through some games – it was refreshing to get back to them, even if it was on a different computer. Slowly trekking through the ruins of a city, he didn't notice when Chrysalis came up behind him. "Having fun?" she asked, and Jeremy very nearly jumped out of his chair.

"Fu – don't scare me like that!" he exclaimed after a moment, putting a hand to his chest to quell his racing heart. Chrysalis laughed, and jumped up into his lap, resting her head on the table and watching his paused game.

"So, let's see some of your 'games' – this is like those hero tales in stories, right?" she asked.

"Yep, pretty much," Jeremy awkwardly said as he allowed her to remain in his lap and unpaused the game.

"Never read one of those before - I hope this doesn't ruin them for me," she commented in reply.

Jeremy looked at her. "You've never read a book before?"

Chrysalis grimaced. "I can read, but I had better things to do than steal books." After a moment, Jeremy shrugged and went back to the game.

Of course, Chrysalis was not nearly as squeamish as Celestia when it came to blood and gore, and watched with rapt enthusiasm. "There wouldn't be a pony version of this game – I don't think they could handle such images of violence," Chrysalis commented.

Jeremy gave a noncommittal grunt. "True. But it's not like I play the game for all the blood." He spent a while checking for hidden loot, to Chrysalis' displeasure, before getting back in his vehicle and moving on.

12-29-13, 6:24 P.M.

A few hours later, he quit the game and sat back – he'd get to this part later. Chrysalis jerked a little at the sudden motion, but quickly re-adjusted her position so that she was lying down on top of him. "Mmm… I could go for a nap, right about now…" she remarked as her eyes closed.

"But then I won't be able to move!" protested Jeremy.

"Your problem," she replied and went to sleep. Unamused, Jeremy gently picked her up, putting her in his chair before heading out to dinner.

When he came back, she was still asleep on the chair, an ear twitching and a smile flashing as she dreamed of something particularly pleasant. Jeremy looked at her, a small smile coming to his own face, and quietly turned off the lights and closed the door.

In the dark, he trekked back to his room, wondering about the upcoming fight. Chrysalis had said it was in just a few days, but it had felt like forever – probably because of all the stuff he had done in the interim period. Now that he was officially coupled with Celestia and Chrysalis too, Jeremy felt marginally better about the whole situation – and the weapon he was having built was a plus as well.

He decided to read some more of Lyra's story before going to bed. With a straight face, Jeremy watched as the girl blushingly proposed to the boy, to which the boy responded yes as his friends cheering him on. Jeremy would have to find this couple someday – it would be metaphysically fascinating.

**A/N: Song was 'Disturbia', by Rihanna.**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Chapter Summaries:**

**Chapter 27 - Jeremy reports early in the morning to the hive for training, and it's pretty exhausting. He then does nothing for a while and sings "Saltwater Room" with Princess Celestia, marking the official beginning of their relationship. Then they had sex.**

**Chapter 28 - Immediately thereafter, Jeremy takes a nap after he just slept like an idiot, Chrysalis sings 'Disturbia' just to mess with him, and then they have sex too. After that, they bond over scenes of gruesome game-related violence, and Chrysalis has a narcoleptic attack.**

**And that brings us to this chapter.**

**Chapter 29**

12-30-13, 6:07 A.M.

Jeremy rubbed his eyes as he walked into the hive, anticipating an ambush at any second. He was therefore surprised to find Chrysalis speaking with another changeling, this one with green coloration only slightly more vibrant than Chrysalis' own. It wasn't from the hive, judging by the other changelings hissing as it passed by. As Chrysalis saw him, she motioned him over. "Good, good, just who I was looking for," she said, switching to English. "Care to explain yourself to my resident psychotic murderer?" she asked the other changeling, who visibly shifted. Jeremy simply stared impassively, carefully not reacting to her comment – clearly it was meant to be a threat, but it hit home all the same.

"We've… moved up the day of the Trial," he falteringly managed.

"When?" Jeremy asked, still feigning calm.

"It's… today," he mumbled, and promptly fled, Chrysalis' changelings snickering. Jeremy looked at Chrysalis in outrage.

"Today?!" he exclaimed. Chrysalis shrugged.

"Hey, I don't like it either, but it's true. Apparently, this is an attempt to interrupt our training. They think you've got some sort of secret weapon, and were hoping to stop you from finishing it." Jeremy groaned.

"Well, they succeeded – although, to be fair, they'll be worse off from that decision than me," he considered. Chrysalis smirked, using her magic to bring over two boxes. Jeremy stopped his internal musing to examine the larger one. "The sleeper gun, right?" he asked.

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at him. "Not the name I would've chosen, but yes. Luna finished it early as soon as I told her, although it's a prototype model, so it's not quite stable."

Jeremy frowned. "If it's going to break on me midway through, that's going to be problematic." Chrysalis shook her head.

"We can use magic to fix it from afar, provided we're close by." Jeremy nodded understandingly. He opened the other box to find a second portal gun, as clean and smooth as the first.

"Aw yeah!" he enthusiastically commented. "I was beginning to miss this thing." Chrysalis grinned.

"We made it harder for you to break – as useful as it was last time, I don't think it would be very safe if you dropped it and it went nuclear." Jeremy chuckled, and went back to focusing on the other gun, stashing the portal gun in his suit.

"Okay… well, this one's not the best," he remarked as he picked the sleeper gun up. It was very lightweight – Jeremy felt like it would break if he so much as dropped it. "But it should be good enough. So… where is this 'Trial' taking place?" he asked. Chrysalis took him over to her room, where a massive map covered a large section of the wall. A huge red circle was marked off, and Jeremy noticed that it was mostly open terrain. "Lot of fields… not many places to hide… looks good to me," he concluded.

"No, it isn't. This is the overhead view – the arena itself is actually underground," Chrysalis explained.

Jeremy stared at the map for a while, before uttering "Son of a dick."

Chrysalis nodded sympathetically. "Thankfully, you've spent some time in caves – this should be much the same, only without all the crystal formations," she reminded him. Oh yeah. That. Jeremy rolled his eyes as he remembered his short trek through the caves under Canterlot – he had been half dead from lack of food, and he had been rescuing Cadance on top of that. It wasn't exactly an unpleasant memory, but Jeremy didn't really like to remember any of that first few days in Equestria.

"Alright, so the arena's in a cave, it's starting today, and I have a working but unstable version of the sleeper gun," he concluded. "Today is already terrible," he finished under his breath.

"There is an upside," Chrysalis mentioned. Jeremy raised an eyebrow at her, and she continued. "If – _Once_you get out of that arena, Luna mentioned she would have a portal back to Earth ready." Jeremy smiled.

"That actually is an upside, thanks." Chrysalis looked away, frowning. "…What?" Jeremy asked.

"It's just… are you really so eager to go back to your home?" she asked.

"Um… yes? The portal would be constantly open, like that one," he replied, pointing to the office portal.

"But I wouldn't get to see you as much," Chrysalis protested. Jeremy sighed.

"Hey, I don't like it either, but I do have to get an education. I wouldn't feel right otherwise," he informed her. Chrysalis lowered her head, and Jeremy immediately felt terrible. Then he felt conflicted – he did have a right to educate himself, and she knew it. "I don't know, maybe you could come with me or something," he thought out loud.

"To… Earth?" Chrysalis asked, seemingly touched. Jeremy gave a single nod.

"We could hang out, and I could show you Earth stuff," he mumbled. To his shock, Chrysalis hugged him.

"That sounds wonderful – count me in." Jeremy patted her on her hair, still very confused about this turn of events.

Chrysalis had since left to make preparations for her delegation moving out to the arena, as well as to round up Luna, who was apparently staying up into the daytime now that she had heard. While they were gone, Jeremy reflected on Chrysalis' drastic change in personality. She had started as the queen he had watched on the TV show, but quickly became more… happy. Upbeat, even. What was up with that? Jeremy decided he'd ask her once he got out.

12-30-13, 12:22 P.M.

The planning phase had finished, and it was time to move out. Fully dressed in his suit and helmet, Jeremy rode on the back of Luna as she flew to the meeting area. It hadn't been the most convenient arrangement, and Luna complained about his weight more than once, but she made it just fine – if slightly tired from exertion. They touched down in the middle of a sunny clearing deep in the Everfree Forest, next to a cave opening. Of course, it wasn't sunny for long – in the first five minutes, as the other delegations began to arrive, the clouds quickly took over the sky, and it began raining. Groaning in dismay, the others retreated into the cave, and Jeremy reluctantly followed – it was the first time he had seen rain in Equestria, and it was actually rather enjoyable. Sensing his thoughts, Luna flashed him a smile, and he gave her one back through the suit before following into the mouth of the cave.

It was dark enough that Jeremy couldn't see anything, until a blinding green glow lit the room. Night vision, Jeremy supposed as he looked around – some changelings from other hives were approaching him, evidently trying to scare him. Jeremy remained still – he didn't want them to know he had night vision, after all – until they were right on top of them, then leaned forward and poked the first one square in the middle of the forehead. It jumped back, and after a bit of frantic hissing the others jumped back as well. Jeremy made sure his suit microphone was off before he chuckled – another useful feature he had discovered, and it was certainly better than a few air holes around the back of his neck.

The changelings gathered around Chrysalis, evidently expecting her to do something. Chrysalis began hissing in her own language, and Luna mentally translated for him. _Welcome to the 342nd Trial, Chrysalis began. None of you will perish tonight_ – most of the changelings perked up at this, confused – _if only because we have a much worse fate in store for you when I succeed._ A changeling attempted to interrupt, and Chrysalis stopped her introduction to viciously bite him in the neck. The changeling fell to the floor, twitching slightly, and Jeremy and Luna exchanged an alarmed look before Chrysalis calmly continued. _After this, there will be no more violence among our kind. We will feed forever, and live in peace, and be happy. Whether you like it or not._ Seemingly finished, she stepped out of the circle, and it quickly disbanded back into the respective groups – Jeremy could only see green with his night vision, but he thought he counted no less than seven respective groups of changelings. He vaguely wondered what the color of their shells were.

Another changeling took her place, and Luna began translating again._ Chrysalis, you must have hit your horn in that invasion,_ they started, and Jeremy glared at it. _Allying with ponies? With aliens? Using their alien weapons instead of the advantages we changelings were given naturally? This ends now, Queen. Starting today, your insanity will be no longer tolerated._ Jeremy crossed his arms, and Luna too glared at the speaker. Noticing this, the changeling orator directed his words at Jeremy directly. _Alien, though I doubt you can understand me, you are no more worthy of being here than that moon princess_, it stated, and Jeremy felt the brief urge to attempt to rip it in half before Luna sent a quelling gaze his way. _The Trial has always been fought by changelings alone – and no matter how strong you think you are, Chrysalis' hive was nothing compared to ours_. If Jeremy could have projected onto his screen an expression of rolling his eyes, he certainly would have.

With this, the orator too left the circle to hissing that Jeremy wasn't sure meant applause or jeering. After a moment more of internal hissing amongst the various changeling populations, Chrysalis beckoned to Jeremy. "You're to go down to the largest part of the cave, and wait there. When I give the signal, you'll begin. Is your weapon ready?"

Jeremy nodded, giving her a terse "Yes".

"Is your suit charged?" Feeling somewhat henpecked, he affirmed once more. "Then get going," Chrysalis admonished, and Jeremy began walking down the cave path, feeling nervous but also strangely excited – the thought of actually fighting something made him feel good.

/{Half Life 2 Episode 2 OST – Sector Sweep}

Finally, they entered into a vast underground cavern, with beautiful stalactites hanging off of the ceiling and a subterranean lake over to his left. Most of the cave was still open space, but the walls had plenty of holes, outcroppings, and other places to hide. "Ready?" Chrysalis whispered over his headset.

"No, but are you?" Jeremy whispered back, forgetting his outside microphone was still off.

"They're all going to start on my signal," she whispered back. She spoke again in the changeling language, this time audible from even their position, and Luna translated. _Three. Two. One…_ Chrysalis paused for a moment._GO!_ Jeremy immediately whipped out the weapon and began firing around him, and changelings dropped like flies. Thinking that their comrades were dying, the other changelings fled deeper into the cave, and Jeremy picked a group to pursue. Thankfully, the changelings that went down stayed down, not moving or even so much as twitching.

Some of the lighter-shelled changelings – yellow, maybe? – engaged him at once, biting and flying around him. Unconcerned, Jeremy sprayed the weapon around him, and they too dropped. After the first few fell prey to the sleeper gun, the rest stayed back, wary of him. Jeremy gave a brief, unseen smile as he attempted to hit them from afar. Unfortunately, these ones were good at dodging, and after a moment they took to the air, heading for an outcropping on the top of the cave. Jeremy looked at them, unamused – he'd get to them later.

As tempted as he was to mess with the changeling contingents, Jeremy remembered he had a job to do. Unfortunately, the weapon did not have a long-range mode, so he had to get closer. He ran after the nearest group, causing them to scatter – some of them even turned invisible, and Jeremy grinned as he switched on his infrared camera. There was one, hiding behind a rock. Jeremy pretended he didn't see it, and just as it was about to jump out he whipped around and blasted it with the sleeper gun. It fell silently, and he continued on, surprising a few who had hidden in a miniature hole. Eventually, the whole group of that color was lying at his feet, gently breathing.

After the initial fight, most of the changelings had by now hidden deep in the subterranean trenches and floors of the massive cave. On one hand, Jeremy was almost constantly creeped out by the surroundings – on the other, this was easily one of the coolest places he'd ever been. Caves like this back on Earth were restricted from access, presumably for public safety as well as ecological preservation. Here, he could break off stalactites that changelings were hanging onto all he wanted – in fact, it was probably encouraged. Just then, a beep from his headset signaled that Chrysalis was trying to contact him. "Yes?" Jeremy answered as he wandered through the cave, searching for more changelings.

"It's - oomph! – gotten pretty brutal over here. The other hives are trying to directly kill me and Luna – seems they brought assassins," Chrysalis haltingly mentioned, sounding as though she were fighting for her life.

"What the hell! Should I get up there?" Jeremy asked.

"No! Stay where you are, and finish the job – we need you to win in order for this nonsense to end. I can handle these idiots, especially with Luna at my side." An explosion sounded in the background, and Jeremy could vaguely hear Luna shouting angrily in her royal Canterlot voice as changeling screams echoed through the headset.

"Ahaha. Yeah, I guess you two can handle yourselves. Just… don't die, alright?" he asked, still concerned.

"Love you too, hairless ape. See you in a bit," Chrysalis mockingly signed off. Grinning once more, Jeremy continued his hunt.

/{end}

Unfortunately, he found them – almost every single remaining changeling had grouped together by the lake. As soon as they saw him, as one they dived in, vanishing from sight. "…The hell?" Jeremy wondered out loud.

"What is it," Chrysalis answered, sounding much calmer.

"Literally every other changeling just dived into the lake when they saw me." Chrysalis thought for a while, and the rustling of paper was heard in the background – evidently she was consulting the map.

"If I'm reading this right, there might be another series of caverns that connects to the lake – ordinarily you're supposed to take a much longer way around." Jeremy frowned.

"Well, screw that! I can swim, unless it's more than fifty meters or so." Chrysalis muttered something to Luna, and she just as inaudibly answered back.

"It should be closer to twenty – and Luna says you really need to learn our unit system." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Add it to the list of things I'll do when I get back," he replied, and gracefully dived into the frigid waters.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

As soon as Jeremy hit the water, he stopped any attempt to be graceful – his suit might have dampened the cold and been waterproof, but the sudden loss of gravity stopped him all the same. Reorienting himself, he looked around for a hole in the lake. He found that an entire section of the wall was missing, resulting in an underwater cave at the edge of the lake. Going back up to the surface to take another breath, he dived down and made for the cave.

Thankfully, Chrysalis had been right: The swim was only a few meters. He poked his helmet out of the other end of the lake, taking in the surroundings. There were a lot of side caves, and he fruitlessly switched to infrared – there were no changelings here. He heard a rustling behind him, and he whipped around to find nothing. Shrugging, he turned back to find that in the short time he was facing away, the entire space in front of him had filled with changelings. Jeremy groaned – this again?

He pointed his weapon forward, only to find it snatched away by a changeling who was close to him, and promptly broken in half. Grinning, the changeling tossed the two pieces off to the side, and faced him. "Jeremy! Run, we can fix the weapon!" cried Luna, evidently watching.

"No! Don't run, it shows weakness!" Chrysalis countered, and the two quickly started a vicious argument. This irritated Jeremy, and he still had to deal with the oncoming horde – should he attack or not? Sensing that he was indecisive, the crowd pressed in and began biting every inch of him they could reach – none of this actually punctured the thick suit, but it still pinched enough to hurt.

Soon, he was being slowly crushed under an ever-increasing mass of changelings – evidently they had all teamed up just to kill him.

"What are you – get out of there!" Luna ordered.

"He can't, you idiot!" Chrysalis retorted, and they resumed their argument.

As Jeremy's vision turned black, he reflected on his life choices. Maybe he should have ran. Maybe he shouldn't have given up the weapon so easily. And as he was about to slip away from consciousness from the sheer weight that was pressing down upon his chest cavity and exposed joints, the feeling of mild irritation gave way to a burning, white-hot rage. He hadn't fought his way through Chrysalis' entire hive, Celestia and Nightmare Moon, and come back from the dead to be beaten by such a simple tactic as being crushed to death. Everywhere he looked, changelings were laughing and hissing, and he could still hear Luna and Chrysalis frantically arguing in the background. Jeremy decided he couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut. _UP_!" he yelled, and in a burst of rage he threw the pile of changelings off of him. There was a shocked silence on the other end of the receiver, and Jeremy didn't care anymore. No longer worrying about peace, nonviolent confrontation or any of that, Jeremy grabbed the nearest changeling – he remembered this one's laughing face _specifically_ – and slammed it down onto the stone floor, with enough force to cause the surrounding loose stones to quiver. Something glowed behind him, but he didn't care, instead solely focusing on ripping the changelings apart. The next one was quickly dispatched by a ruthless foot stomp to the skull, and the others began to run away, screeching. Immediately, Jeremy gave chase.

After a few short seconds of catching up to and ruthlessly pummeling each changeling he came across, Jeremy's radio alerted him that Luna and Chrysalis were about to speak to him. "Jeremy. We fixed the device, it is lying right where you left it. Get back here and retrieve your weapon," Luna demanded.

"In a moment," Jeremy muttered as he ripped a changeling off of him and threw it on the ground, stomping on it with his metal boot in a psychotic fury.

"Not just a moment! _NOW_!" Luna yelled, nearly blowing out the speakers with her royal Canterlot voice. Startled, Jeremy stopped what he was doing and immediately ran back to the spot he had left his weapon, noting that it certainly looked fixed.

"What's the hurry, anyway?" Jeremy asked as he picked it up.

"I didn't want you doing something you'd regret," Luna answered. Jeremy stared for a moment as it hit him that he had snapped. And done exactly what he wasn't supposed to.

"Ah…" Jeremy started, searching for the right words to finish that sentence. Fortunately, Luna seemed to understand the sentiment.

Chrysalis spoke up, somewhat shocked but trying to sound amused. "The ones you – _ahem_ – 'caught up to' aren't too bad. Gravely injured, but they'll regenerate – the purple-shelled ones do that."

Jeremy made a disparaged sound. "I can't see anything except green down here, but sure. Why the hell do purple ones specifically regenerate?" Chrysalis grumbled, but sounded glad to change the subject.

"Each of the most popular hives goes after love in different manners," she explained. "I won't go into what each does, as we really just lure in prospective food differently – suffice it to say that the purple ones try to infiltrate militaries and win them over with their enhanced combat skills, then use the love they get to make themselves stronger and thus attract more military interest. In fact, I believe some countries let them." Jeremy noted this, half-interested.

He went back to spraying the changelings, and paid extra attention to the ones he had already taken care of, noting with distaste that they had already mostly healed by the time he had gotten back to them. Part of him still wanted to break them – to make sure they would never get up and hurt him again. But he had to keep that under control. Keep moving. Keep spraying.

He was interrupted by a changeling with a seemingly colorless shell beckoning to him, and actually speaking his language. "Over here!" it cried. Jeremy cautiously walked over to find more of the same color of changeling, all huddled inside a crevasse. The one who had spoken addressed him again. "We… um… would like to ally with you. You know, to get rid of the competition." Jeremy considered the offer – a changeling posse of his own would actually be rather helpful. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between friend and foe on the battlefield.

He turned on his outside microphone, wincing at the audible click it made. "Sounds nice, but I don't trust anyone here on principle – plus, I'm just going to get you all eventually with this," he noted, pointing to the spray gun in his hand. The changelings recoiled in fear.

"No! I don't wanna die!" another female one pleaded. Jeremy stopped, and lowered the weapon in surprise.

"What, you think this kills you?" The changeling curiously nodded.

Jeremy chuckled. "We said we weren't killing, remember?" he reminded her. "This gun just puts you to sleep for a few days – no harmful effects whatsoever." There was a brief bit of confused-sounding hissing among the members of the oddly colored hive.

"Well, it's not just that," a male spoke up angrily. Jeremy made a questioning noise in his direction, and judging from the beep in his ear, Chrysalis had just started listening in. "We're not a very popular hive, and we don't get much food as it is… if we come back from this fight without scoring a high position, our queen will kill us off just so there are less mouths to feed."

Jeremy was once again irritated. "We… also said something about infinite love, forever, right? That was a thing, if I recall," he remarked sarcastically. The changeling nervously shifted its hoof.

"Yes… well… a lot of us hives are skeptical about that – we think Chrysalis is just putting on an unusual act for this Trial in order to confuse the rest. Or maybe she's just crazy, who knows." Jeremy was startled out of responding by a vitriolic torrent of combined hissing and speech from Chrysalis – judging from the parts he could understand, she was extra pissed off at that idea.

He quickly switched off his outside mic and advised Chrysalis to save it for later, before continuing his train of thought. "So… you said you needed to score high compared to other hives and they'd leave you alive?" he asked, and the changeling group nodded. "Well… hold that thought, and whatever you do, don't cross me again. I'll come find you when everyone else is down." With that, he left – he had been absent from the game for far too long, and he bet the other competitors were getting complacent.

12-30-13, 9:07 P.M.

Oh, how very wrong he had been. Jeremy stepped out onto a full-on battlefield – so this was what Trials were like without his presence. It had quickly turned into an all-out competition, and the fight was so thick in places that dust clouds obscured those who were actually fighting. Through unknown means, changelings had managed to blast a hole in the roof, letting moonlight through and giving the whole chamber an eerie glow. It was being repaired, and any changeling who dared approach the whole in an attempt to escape was ruthlessly shoved back by none other than Chitin, a massive hoof blocking the way. The changelings bit, slashed with their wings, and kicked at each other viciously, and Jeremy decided he should probably put a stop to this before someone got badly hurt. Taking out the spray gun, he waded around the cavern, sticking to the shadows until he struck with a large burst of the tranquilizer, and then stepping back into invisibility.

This seemed to work, for the most part – a large portion of the changelings had been taken by surprise by his re-entrance and promptly dropped to the floor, breathing peacefully. A few managed to notice his approach, but weren't able to avoid the liquid spray of his gun. Finally, he took out the last group by firing at random into the air until the ceiling and surrounding changelings were thoroughly coated in the transparent, non-viscous sleeping agents, and dropped out of the air, landing with audible thumps. Jeremy reached a hand up to wipe the sweat from his brow, but was physically stopped by his helmet. Lowering his hand, he felt briefly embarrassed for forgetting it existed – he was acclimatizing way too fast.

He decided to check in with Chrysalis. "Chryssi, Luna, you there?" he asked. There was a distinct silence on the other end.

"…'_Chryssi_'?" Chrysalis asked, voice dripping with mockery. Jeremy blushed, and thanked science she couldn't see him.

"It was shorter to pronounce!" Jeremy protested, and Luna could be heard laughing in the background.

"Ugh. You and I have to have a talk about this when you get back – no pet nicknames." Chrysalis stated flatly.

"Fine," Jeremy huffed. "Anyway, besides the group I talked to earlier, is that all of them?" Luna stopped laughing in the background.

"…Now that you mention it… yes, I think that's all of them. So why haven't the others surrendered yet…?" Chrysalis wondered. Judging from the sounds that happened next, she had been shoved aside, audibly protesting as Luna took the mic.

"We did an echolocation spell for thy area. Something's coming, and whatever it is, it's _big_. Brace thyself." Jeremy nodded. What could it be? he wondered as he took stock of himself – he was bruised and battered, but otherwise recovering alright from his recent near-death experience. The suit, as usual, was perfectly fine, having once again mysteriously repaired itself. Well… not so mysteriously to Jeremy, at any rate.

Jeremy became aware of a tremor in the ground every few seconds. Getting ready, he hid behind a tall stalagmite jutting out of the ground, gun at the ready. To his surprise, the tremors faded away for a moment, but he wasn't stepping out just yet. He took a single step out, to look out from the side of the rock formation. The tremors suddenly, violently came back, as if hearing him. Jeremy distinctly remembered that he was in a giant cavern, and sounds echoed. Really, really, well.

{Half Life 2 Episode 2 OST – Vortal Combat}

A massive changeling burst out of a cave opening, the opening itself enlarged by its entry. Two more appeared from under the lake, and to top it all off, a fourth appeared furled on the ceiling of the cave, where the opening had been earlier. In the background, Luna was yelling at him to do something, while Chrysalis was hurriedly apologizing that she hadn't seen this coming – not that he was paying much attention. Jeremy vaguely remembered screaming once before they were upon him.

The next few minutes were a series of blurs for Jeremy, but he still was somewhat cognizant of what was happening, and forced himself not to freak out and go berserk again, no matter how much the music made him want to. The first one attempted to stomp him to bits, but there was a hole in its hoof in just the right place – Jeremy dove through it and scampered up its leg, using the other holes as hand- and foot-holds until he was riding atop its back. It screeched and bucked forward, causing Jeremy to begin to slide off – and it was no small drop to the cave floor below. Not wasting a second, he grabbed its hair and swung up to the bridge of its nose, and hurriedly picked himself up. It reared up, flinging him into the air, and opened its mouth expectantly. Jeremy was aware that he couldn't fly, and really wished someone had done something to fix that. As the mouth closed over him, he gave the entire inside of the changeling's maw a spray with his sleeper gun, and it stumbled a second before collapsing to the ground, the shock of landing thankfully absorbed for Jeremy by its massive tongue. Grunting with exertion, he crawled out of its mouth to hear Luna cheering. "Fight's not over yet," he grumbled, facing the three remaining.

They appeared stunned for a second before all three sprang forward, with the obvious intent to attack him together. After noticing the trajectory of their heads, Jeremy sprang back and two collided with a dull thud. Jeremy took advantage of this to spray both of them up the nostrils with the sleeper gun, distastefully noting how that would've felt if it had been done to him – at least they went down quicker from direct ingestion. The final remaining changeling, who had been invisible before it teamed up with its comrades, stalked towards him, hissing angrily. "Yeah? Well c'mon then, let's see what you got!" Jeremy yelled back, forgetting that his mic was off. It made an attempt to bite him, but seemed to think better of it, evidently remembering what had happened to the others. Instead, it reached out a hoof and casually smacked him, and Jeremy went flying. Thankfully, there was a wall close by – but as Jeremy achingly got up, he thought he'd be seeing stars for weeks. The giant changeling then lowered its head, and charged at him, intending to impale him on the wall with its huge, curved horn – as good as his suit was, Jeremy didn't think it could take that.

What could he do? There was no way he could escape to the side – he had been thrown into an unfortunately narrow crevasse, just a few feet too deep into the wall for him to escape in time. No going under it, either – its head was so low to the ground he'd be crushed if he tried. Only way out was up, then. Just as it was about to hit, Jeremy jumped up, pushing off of the wall in a desperate attempt to avoid its horn. Unfortunately, he had miscalculated, and tripped over the horn itself, slamming down onto the forehead of the giant. Scrambling up, he noted that the changeling appeared confused – it had expected him to be a smear mark on the wall. Smirking tiredly, he took out his gun, and in a display of bravado for the confused giant, whirled it around once before turning on his mic. "Goodnight," he jeered, and sprayed the liquid mixture all over its face. The changeling initially resisted before giving over, and dropping with a thump – Jeremy was pitched head over heels, landing with a metallic clang to the changeling's side.

/{end}

As Jeremy picked himself up, he tried to think. But he was hurt, and tired, and hungry – all he really wanted was to sleep. An obvious question came to mind, and he tuned back in to his headset to find Luna and Chrysalis still cheering. "Hey, girls." Jeremy mumbled, causing them to stop and shuffle around for a moment before waiting for him expectantly. He tried to remember what he was going to ask, succeeding after a moment's wait.

"So… is it over?"


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

12-30-13, 10:47 P.M.

God, Jeremy was hungry. He mentally smacked himself for not bringing food to this – he had stupidly assumed he'd be able to finish this fight sooner than the others. He was partially right – this was the fastest he'd ever killed a large group. Or… wait, right, he wasn't killing. Incapacitating? No, he hadn't done that before, so the analogy was ruined. Oh well. Point was, he was hungry, and very, very tired.

As he wandered through the caves, he recalled Luna's advice: Find that last group, take them out carefully, and exit the cave the same way he entered. He wandered around for a while, silent – he wasn't going to make it too obvious for them. Finally, as he admired the crystal formations on a wall, he was tackled by a colorless-shelled changeling, teeth dripping with what might have been saliva or venom. Jeremy squirmed to extricate himself, finally succeeding in throwing the changeling off. As he started to climb to his feet, more appeared out of nowhere and held him down, and the changeling he had spoken to earlier came out of the gloom of the cave, hissing eerily. He struggled for a while, but not too hard – putting on a show was so much easier than actually fighting. Finally, as she reared back to bite, he rolled out of the way, twisting his arms uncomfortably as she stopped and attempted to pin him down again. Bursting up, he threw the remaining changelings off of him and whipped out his gun, only managing to drop a few before they got out of range. They charged him, knocking the gun from his hand – were they faking or not? Jeremy was starting to get confused – he thought the agreement was that he would eliminate them last, but they were clearly going for first. Mentally shrugging, he punched the nearest changeling in the face before scrambling for his sleeper gun. One changeling got to it first, and sprayed it at him. Jeremy stumbled back, wiping the tranquilizer off of his helmet – he didn't know if the onboard air filters could take out that much. After clearing his vision somewhat, he made a grab for the weapon, only to see it tossed over his head. Okay, now he was irritated – he hated Keep-Away games. As a changeling near to him caught it, he took advantage of its distraction to deliver a roundhouse to its neck – it dropped like a stone, clutching where he had hit with its hooves. Jeremy frowned – he hadn't intended to do that. Was he getting too bloodthirsty again? Best to finish this quickly. He took his weapon back, and quickly fired at the changelings who had closed in again, and they all dropped. Finally, he took care of the changeling who was still on the ground, moaning in pain, and it slumped to the floor, almost gratefully.

As Jeremy trudged out of the cave and into the open sunlight, he noted the stares of the changelings around him – they clearly regarded him with fear. Some openly stumbled back as he walked past, and Jeremy gave a tired sigh before finally coming over to Chrysalis and Luna. Luna held out a hoof for a hug, but instead of taking it he collapsed against the wall, not daring to remove his helmet in case of a surprise attack. Luna quickly sat beside him, placing a hoof around his shoulders – he was slumped so low against the wall he might as well have been laying down. _Are you alright? _Luna mentally asked.

Jeremy took a while before answering – now that the usual battle adrenaline had worn off, his thoughts came slowly and disjointedly. _No_, he finally answered, and Luna frowned but didn't press him. Looking over wearily, he saw Chrysalis accepting her odd little crown back – when had she lost it? Jeremy couldn't remember.

12-31-13, 8:04 A.M.

The preparations had been made for their departure – surprisingly, they were traveling by land this time. Even more surprisingly, Chitin was carrying them home, and Jeremy, Luna and Chrysalis rode on his back as he crashed through the treetops, managing to only knock a few over in the process. Jeremy was unusually silent for most of this, and Luna seemed to notice, not saying anything in turn. Chrysalis was carrying on a hissed conversation with Chitin, who's deep rumbling responses made his whole body vibrate in a sensation that was not altogether unwelcomed. Of course, Jeremy was focused on something very different as he finally got around to pulling his helmet off, and stashing it in the extradimensional void his suit carried with it.

"Luna?" Jeremy asked, his voice sounding small. Luna looked over at him, concerned – this was a new tone for Jeremy. His voice usually ranged from sarcasm and snark to concern for others or apathetic resignation, with rare interludes of joy or rage.

"…Yes?" Luna prompted. Jeremy stared at the ground for a while before answering.

"Can I quit my job?" Chrysalis looked over, now concerned as well.

Luna stared at him for a while. "Why?" she finally asked. Jeremy gave a deep sigh.

"It's just… Making all these weapons… and then using them to fight things… it's killing me." Luna merely looked at him. Jeremy buried his face in his hands. "I can't take it anymore! I keep fighting, and fighting, and everyone I love looks at me like I'm a monster. And maybe I am! How can I tell?!" he hysterically finished. Chrysalis attempted to place a calming hoof on his shoulder, but he shook it off. "First thing before I got here, I killed over a hundred people. Next thing? Gunned down a bunch of changelings. And then what? I fought off a crazed mare, and died. And now I'm back to do – what? Kill _more_?" Luna interrupted his ramblings by grabbing him by the shoulders with her hooves and shaking him hard.

"Jeremy, look at me," she commanded. When Jeremy refused to do so, she used a hoof to move his head for him. "Defending thy life is no act of evil. We cannot undo the things thou hast done, or thy perception of them. But we are here to help you move on." Jeremy acknowledged this with a nod. "If thou still want to quit thy job, we will accommodate. But… please don't ever think thou art a monster."

Chrysalis nodded at him. "I might not have your body count, but I know what you're going through – and I'm sure Luna and Celestia do too. We've all been monsters, and we all have our own ways of coping it – just let us help you." This was an unusually serious tactic for Chrysalis, which snapped Jeremy out of his self-pity. He gave them a tired smile.

"Yeah… you're right. And… I'm not sure about my job. I just… can I have a few days to work that out?" Luna nodded.

"Take all the time thou need," she answered, wrapping a hoof around him.

"You know, there are better ways to get out of work," Chrysalis commented, back to her old snide tone. Then she frowned. "Sorry, was that insensitive?"

Luna glared at her. "A little bit, yes." Chrysalis drooped her head, and Jeremy reached over and tousled it.

"Relax, I'm not that mad," he replied, and Chrysalis enjoyed the attention for a moment before Luna protested, clamoring for his attention as well. As the three laughed and relaxed together, Jeremy sighed inwardly – but this time with a modicum of content. Sure, his life had been hell. But it had also been heaven, in a way – and he was fighting as hard as he could to keep it that way.

After a while, the earlier tension had all but been forgotten. Luna and Chrysalis were curled up on either side of him, and he had a hand on both of their manes. Luna was asleep, her job of lowering the moon accomplished. Chrysalis was still awake, but only barely. Jeremy, still wide awake, was reflecting on the insanity that had been his life. When he had burst out back there, he had seriously considered running away from all of this. But now? He realized he couldn't do it. Here were more sources of joy and happiness than he had ever had back home. Leaving Luna? Impossible. He would die for her – already had, in fact, and would gladly do it again. Chrysalis… She used to be callous towards his feelings, and was the only one here he knew could rise to the same level of sarcasm he himself displayed frequently, she had changed recently. Speaking of which… "Chrysalis?" he asked.

The Queen looked up at him. "Yes?" she asked.

"I don't mean to insult, but… you were always so negative. And sarcastic, and snarky. Why, then, are you so…" Jeremy spread his hands in search of a suitable word.

"Happy?" Chrysalis finished, smirking at him.

"Sure," he replied. Chrysalis looked away.

"I could give the usual answer, but… why not. I'll tell you the truth," she responded, somber. "I first started changing my attitude when you started helping me, with the food problem," she began, still serious. "No pony had ever dared to build such a thing before, let alone deliver it to the Hive in person. They run at the sight of me. To them, I'm a freak of nature – don't deny it, you know that's how they see us!" Chrysalis exclaimed, seeing him about to protest. "We're a mutated version of them, with holes, and insect-like parts. Legend has it we steal their babies and replace them with our own, converting their babies into more of ourselves – not that we would bother with such an enterprise," she hastily amended when Jeremy looked at her. "But you… you were never culturally trained to hate us. So… when you brought down our entire army, using the same technology we stole from you, I thought it was the final proof that nobody could ever like us." Jeremy frowned, and she looked down. "But then you came to my cell – you might have done it out of boredom, or curiosity. But you visited. And… you were so _different_. You refused to demonize me – and then you stood up for me, in royal court. So then I was confused – what were your motives? Did you simply want to trick me into thinking you had forgiven me, so you could follow me to the Hive and kill off the remaining changelings?" Jeremy grimaced. "But… you never gave any indication of being anything other than sincere. You didn't even try to seduce me or anything. It was the first time anyone had done such a thing with no intent other than helping me, and let me tell you, it shocked me," she admitted. "Then, after just a week's scant work, you stood there, grinning like an idiot as the problem that had consumed all my waking hours was solved. Just like that." She paused to catch her breath.

"Being a changeling, I'm used to manipulation and lying. It's part of our culture, in the same way you believe violence is a part of yours." Jeremy made a disgruntled noise, and Chrysalis gave him a small smile. "But to make such a rebound like that – from our worst enemy to our best friend, without skipping a beat – it made me realize something. Maybe my perception of being hated was my own design – maybe I could be liked if I made an effort. So… I made an effort. It was hard, at first – I wanted to scorn you, like I've done before. But you were always so accommodating, even if you didn't say it out loud. And… it worked. We became friends. And to tell the truth? For the first time, I was nervous about going further. What if you spurned me? I didn't think I could take that," she admitted, head drooped. "I mean, I thought it could never work from the start, when you said you were monogamous. But then you changed – and that was what really won me over. You went against everything you'd been taught, just to make me happy." Chrysalis looked away, cringing as though she expected him to be angry. Instead, Jeremy pulled her into a tight hug, eyes watering as he laid his head on top of hers.

"You make me sound so cool," he noted.

"And you aren't? You're the perfect guy – you don't care about looks, or what your partner has, or whatever ridiculous demand we lay on you – you only ever seem to care about making us happy." Jeremy looked at her, a smile coming to his face.

"You're not wrong there – although I have a life, you know!" he teased. Chrysalis' lip curled.

"Oh yes. You and your thousand hobbies. Which reminds me – how do you even do all of that? I see your blueprints and they have knowledge of so many things it's hard to know where to start." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a genius, honestly. What I do is I start with what I want to do, and then learn what I need to learn in order to do it." Chrysalis looked at him in surprise.

"That sounds a little backwards." Jeremy shrugged.

"It's worked so far, and it's a lot more interesting than general education."

After a moment more of silence, Chrysalis struck on a new topic. "What are you going to do when we get back?" she asked. Jeremy was surprised by the mundane nature of the question – he'd heard it before at the end of camping trips, or vacations.

"I… I'm probably going to work on heading home, figuring out the interuniversal stuff so we can hang together." Chrysalis smiled.

"Never a dull moment, hmm?"

Jeremy gave a tired nod. "You have no idea," he muttered.

She grinned. "Oh, I think I do~," she growled playfully. Jeremy gave her a shove, and she actually started to slip down Chitin's back before he hurriedly pulled her back up, apologizing. "Oh, stop! I could have just flown up, you sap," Chrysalis teased. Jeremy frowned as this obvious conclusion hit him.

"Well… still…" he mumbled, and Chrysalis kissed him on the lips, shocking him into silence. As she pulled away, she grinned. "You are such a hopeless romantic," she remarked.

"Is that a bad thing?" Jeremy asked as he pulled her onto his lap and began rubbing her belly.

"Ooohhh… not at all…" Chrysalis replied, before once again making that odd purring noise. She covered her mouth, and Jeremy gently pried her hooves off before continuing.

"Did I mention I love that sound?" he commented. After a moment of seeming indecision, Chrysalis actually blushed before succumbing to his hands. Jeremy grinned – he had actually won a blush from her.

As they entered Chrysalis' hive, Jeremy looked up, feeling like he had just returned home after a long vacation. "Hive, sweet hive," he happily commented. Chrysalis grinned, and gave out a jubilant hiss. Immediately, the hive sprang to life, changelings pouring out of every corner to greet their queen. Upon seeing her crown still on her head, they grew more excited. Chitin lumbered off to his duties, leaving Jeremy and Luna to watch as Chrysalis was swarmed by her adoring drones. After a moment more of Chrysalis joyfully conversing with her changelings, they turned to him and Luna, quickly surrounding them before raising them up into the air. Jeremy froze in fear, unused to the sudden change in elevation, and Luna was similarly surprised.

"What? Isn't this what you do for celebrities?" Chrysalis asked, noting their looks.

"…Yes…" Jeremy answered after a moment. He gave a confused, but happy grin, and Luna looked over at him. "Looks like you're quite the returning hero these days," she commented. Jeremy gave her a genuine smile at the reference.

For a while, they stayed there, and the mood was festive as the changelings partied in their own special style. Jeremy, unused to parties of any sort, simply stayed off to the side, calmly conversing with any changeling that approached him but otherwise not making any attempt at being social. Only when Luna pulled him into a conversation of hers did he begin to relax, and even then it was difficult to resist the urge to escape the conversation. Not that it wasn't bad – Jeremy found himself more and more interested as he listened. As far as lifestyle went, just talking like this wasn't nearly as hard as fighting – and he was determined to appreciate the break in pace.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

1-1-14, 12:07 P.M.

Jeremy attempted to roll out of bed to find that his bed was liquid. And he was naked. He made a startled sound as he attempted to escape, only to find Chrysalis staring at him. "Is it really that bad?" she asked. Jeremy looked down at the cocoon he had just been in, filled with green slime.

"Well… no… I guess not," he sleepily answered. "Just… I've never woken up like that before…"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Get used to it – if you want to sleep with me, I'm not settling for those ridiculous 'beds'. Too uncomfortable."

Jeremy shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, sure, I guess. What even happened last night?"

Chrysalis laughed. "After you passed out midway through the conversation, I offered to escort you to bed while Luna left to catch up with Celestia." Jeremy frowned.

"I passed out? I didn't think I was _that_ tired…" Chrysalis chuckled.

"After what you just did? Nobody blamed you for still being exhausted." She teleported a set of clothes next to him, and a towel. After attempting to wipe as much of the oddly viscous slime as possible from his body, Jeremy gratefully pulled them on.

Chrysalis then walked over to the secret lab, and Jeremy followed, once again thankful that the odd properties of the carbon-like, porous substance that coated every wall prevented any dust or dirt in the cramped passageway. He entered the lab to find that his suit was there, once again in pristine condition. "You know, I think I'll leave it here for now," he commented. Chrysalis looked at him in surprise.

"You're not worried about anyone attacking you?" Jeremy made a so-so motion with his hand.

"Not really – you're still officially queen, and I've got no current political problems with Equestria."

Chrysalis slapped a hoof to her forehead. "I meant on Earth, you id- er…" Jeremy smirked at her.

"Okay, yes, that's a fair point," he noted, choosing to ignore the insult. Chrysalis visibly relaxed, and he looked at her in consternation as he pulled the suit on. "You don't have to keep a civil tongue around me – half my friends call me the worst names imaginable in good fun."

Chrysalis appeared surprised at this, before shaking her head and smiling. "You humans are just so… refreshingly odd."

Jeremy laughed. "I could say the same about everyone here."

They discussed what had happened after he had won. A group of delegates, one from each Hive that made it to the final five groups, presented Chrysalis with her crown, which had been taken away from her at the start of the Trial. Chrysalis then unveiled the love machine, and showed how it worked, and allowed every changeling in the room to have a taste, making sure to keep it away from Jeremy due to his earlier requests. After that, the changeling delegates had very quickly acquiesced to her new rules, and Chrysalis had arranged their transport home. Jeremy looked embarrassed for a moment, before Chrysalis asked him what was wrong. "Well, it's just… You talking about how I don't manipulate or lie reminded me… I put a self-destruct in that love device, in case you ever betrayed me." Chrysalis appeared surprised for a moment, before bursting out laughing.

After a moment, she calmed down enough to explain. "I knew that – Luna told me when you were… gone. I was angry at first, but I got over it." Jeremy noted this with interest – she didn't even care? Chrysalis lightly punched him in the waist with her hoof. "As if I'd be that angry that you were intelligent enough to prevent my betraying you – that's just common sense!" After a minute of intense confusion, Jeremy mentally shrugged –_changelings_.

He departed cheerfully, Chrysalis stopping him at the last minute to steal a quick kiss. "Get a hold of me when you get that portal working, okay?" she muttered.

Jeremy nodded. "See you when I see you," he replied, and exited through the portal. Walking out into the bright Equestrian sunlight, he at first shielded his eyes.

Ponies stared at him for only a moment before going back about their business – and this time they were only making comments about his alien attire. Jeremy smiled and walked to the throne room – he was fairly certain that his update on events counted as "royal business".

Celestia was calmly sitting there as usual, answering questions about various aspects of Equestrian life and signing documents. Jeremy calmly stood in line, subtly trying to keep his posture straight while still appearing relaxed. To his delighted surprise, the line didn't take long – Celestia's judgment on each item was well-reasoned, quick and as to be expected, final. Finally, it was his turn, and he approached her with a small smile on his face. "How goes it, Jeremy?" she asked politely.

"Better," Jeremy answered, assuming Luna had told her about his outburst. "Chrysalis is still Queen, so no worries there – and they're working on being a more peaceful nation." Celestia nodded.

"Excellent. By the way, see me after dinner?" she asked. Jeremy nodded.

"You got it. Have a great day!" he called as he left. Before he could exit the castle entirely, he was stopped by a royal sun guard, who promptly took him up a back staircase and through a corridor before arriving at Luna's door. "Isn't she asleep?" Jeremy wondered. The guard shrugged and knocked once before leaving him there.

"Enter!" Luna's voice called, and Jeremy stepped inside.

As usual, her room was messier than Celestia's, being covered in books and all manner of papers and notes. "Hey, you're up. In the daytime. What gives?" Jeremy asked, confused.

"My sleep schedule's all messed up ever since we headed over there, so I am taking a day off to recuperate. And I heard you downstairs, so we sent a guard down. We have something new to show you!" And without further ado, she pressed a button next to her bed and a portal opened on the wall, leading into solid blackness. "Hmm… well, you do have the suit on…" mused Luna, and used her magic to push him through. Jeremy fell through the void, yelling in shock as he landed on seemingly nothing. He looked up at where he thought he had entered from.

"Luna, what the hell, where am I?" he asked, still a little frightened and irritated from the sudden change.

"Oh, just wait for it!" she called back.

_Wait for what_? Jeremy wondered, dreading and yet anticipating what might happen. A loud electronic noise started, and he covered his ears, only to open them in surprise. "Rise and shine, Dr. Freeman… rise and… shine…" an eerily familiar voice opened, and Jeremy was surrounded by odd hallucinations. "No way. _No way_," he exclaimed, instantly delighted.

"We thought this might help thou blow off some steam and keep thyself in shape." Jeremy laughed.

"Forget that, this is perfect just for the playing value. Thank you!" He contented himself with watching the intro scene for a while longer, before experiencing the odd sensation that was being inserted into a train. Reminding himself, he called out to Luna, hoping she could still hear him.

"We can hear thou regardless of thy volume. What is it?" she asked, with amusement.

"I have to see Celestia at dinner, so don't leave me in here too long." Luna gave him a thoughtful hum.

"If thou wish to exit, simply think about opening a door somewhere in the game to here." Jeremy interestedly took note of this.

Hours had passed before he wished to quit – and the door instantly opened in the side of a wall as soon as he thought about it. "What time is it?" Jeremy asked as he exited the odd pocket dimension, the coat of blood and sweat vanishing off of him as soon as he stepped through.

"About 3 P.M., you're fine," Luna replied without looking up from her latest book. Jeremy sat down on the edge of the bed with her, and stroked her hair, and Luna sighed contentedly.

A few more hours passed, and it was time for dinner. Jeremy and Luna attended together, eating inside the castle as was custom during the winter months – and of course it was magically warm. After he finished, which was as usual much faster than anyone else, Jeremy approached Celestia, who swallowed her bite of food before addressing him. "You said I was to see you?" he asked. Celestia cleaned her face off with a napkin before nodding and standing up, motioning for him to follow. Surprised that she had interrupted dinner for this, Jeremy followed her down to a secret staircase, accessed by her horn only. Inside was a single stone panel, and Celestia used her magic to press a button. A portal opened, golden yellow in color, and his room – his _bedroom_, on _Earth_ – was visible through it. Jeremy looked at her.

"You can leave anytime you wish," Celestia stated, wiping a tear from her eye. Jeremy noticed with dismay the look of sorrow on her face.

"Aw, don't act like that – it's not forever, I'll probably visit every day!" he protested. Celestia shook her head to clear it.

"I… of course," she replied thickly. Jeremy hugged her tightly.

"As if I would ever leave this behind," he muttered. Celestia smiled, and pulled away, trying to appear regal once more.

"So… when do you plan to… head back?" she asked, trying to make such a thing sound non-permanent.

"Tonight, I guess. I already invited Chrysalis to hang out on Earth sometime – you and Luna are welcome to join whenever you get time off," he mentioned. Celestia nodded wisely.

"I think we'll take you up on that," she answered, and the two went back to dinner.

The evening was uneventful, and after a while of waiting Jeremy traipsed back to the hive to alert Chrysalis that he was going to Earth. Almost immediately, she bounded out of the portal and stared at him expectantly. "…What, you're coming with? Now?" he asked, perplexed.

Chrysalis looked at him, hurt. "I thought you wanted me to attend?" she retorted. Jeremy made a calming motion with his hands.

"I just meant – don't you have queenly duties or something?" Chrysalis shook her head.

"My drones are building more love machines – once we get those distributed to the individual hives, I won't have to do much of anything for a while." After a moment, Jeremy shrugged and turned around, leading her out the door and into the Canterlot streets.

Ponies who saw Chrysalis immediately moved to the other side of the street, skittish at her presence. "How come they didn't run when you were at the karaoke thing?" Jeremy wondered.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "I could tell they wanted to, but their princess was there." Jeremy grimaced.

Finally, they came to the throne room. Jeremy entered, and stopped. Chrysalis looked at him curiously. "What?" she asked. Jeremy cleared the memory from his head – that begrudging glare of Celestia's would never quite leave him – and instead decided to continue on. Luna merely nodded in his direction, and he smiled at her as he wandered over to the corridor that led to the secret staircase. To his dismay, Celestia's horn-based lock was closed.

"Well… shoot. Forgot about this. Celestia's probably asleep, too…" he thought out loud. He leaned against the door, intending to puzzle out what to do next, when it swung open, and he toppled over. Chrysalis laughed, and he grumblingly picked himself up off the floor.

Taking the steps down two at a time, Jeremy approached the blank dead end of the staircase. "Why do they even have this staircase, anyway? It doesn't lead anywhere…" Jeremy mused. Chrysalis had no answer for this, and Jeremy reached out and pressed the button to activate the portal. It did so, opening with a small tremor, and Jeremy stepped through. He looked for Chrysalis at his side, but she was struggling to enter, pushing against some unseen barrier.

"I can't get through!" she burst as she pushed and strained. Jeremy tried to think of how this might have happened, laughing slightly as Chrysalis pushed against nothing.

"Oh, wait, I got it. I have to give you permission or something. Um… I, Jeremy, give Queen Chrysalis permission to enter and exit this portal as she pleases." Chrysalis instantly toppled through when he finished the sentence, and he resumed his laughter from earlier as she glared at him. "Now we're even," he remarked, and looked around. His bedroom was just as he remembered it, which was always a good thing.

Chrysalis examined his room. It was typically messy, to the point that walking on any given part of the floor would make noise due to the papers and plastic objects that were strewn everywhere. Jeremy explained that this was on purpose, and Chrysalis shrugged. He went over to his computer, and booted it up, waiting a while. Once everything was loaded, he examined his games – he had completely forgotten about some of the newer ones he had gotten after Luna had copied over his old computer data, and wondered if he could get the new stuff over in Equestria as well. Chrysalis was preoccupied by the TV in a corner of the room, fascinatedly pressing buttons and changing channels. She noticed the long-abandoned console plugged in, and picked it up. "You have more games?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, I stopped playing those a while ago," Jeremy offhandedly mentioned. Once he was satisfied everything was in order, he opened his email and promptly stood up – at the rate his emails loaded, he would have a while to wait. "Want to see the lab?" he called out to Chrysalis, who reluctantly abandoned the TV to follow him once more.

When they went downstairs, she was quickly distracted by his food stores – more specifically, his fridge. "Luna wasn't kidding – you do have meat in here!" Chrysalis exclaimed. Jeremy looked over, somewhat embarrassed.

"Yeah… sorry you had to see that…" he shamefacedly muttered. Chrysalis looked at him.

"Hey… it's alright, I don't care…" she responded, consolingly. Jeremy cleared his throat.

"Yeah… I just feel like _I_ should now…" he mumbled. Jeremy opened the garage door, and led her out to an unused third car bay. This area was stocked with both Jeremy's lab and the gardening equipment, which was perpetually rusty due to his younger self not understanding about acid fumes.

Beakers and flasks covered a wood worktable, which was stained with bright and varying colors of chemicals long since cleaned up. "Not a big fan of organization, are you?" Chrysalis asked, staring at the mess.

"A clean chemist is a lazy chemist," Jeremy answered.

Chrysalis looked like she wanted to poke around some more, but Jeremy mentioned wanting to sleep and she instantly joined him. "Do you want to use the guest bedroom? Or, wait, you mentioned something about a cocoon earlier," Jeremy remembered. Chrysalis waved a hoof, dismissing his concerns.

"I forgot to bring it… so why don't I sleep in your bed tonight?" she asked, grinning. Jeremy gave her an embarrassed grin of his own.

"I hope you enjoy me fidgeting constantly," he replied. Chrysalis laughed, climbing into his bed as Jeremy changed into pajamas.

"Just don't knock me out of bed," she admonished, and Jeremy chuckled as he got into bed with her.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

1-2-14, 8:43 A.M.

When Jeremy woke up, he was still too sleepy to think much of Chrysalis still being next to him. She rolled over, and sleepily bit him on the forearm. It didn't penetrate, it was more of a pinch, but Jeremy was still very uncomfortable. She opened her eyes, and noticed what she was doing, quickly unlatching and sitting up in horror, frantically apologizing. "Were you… feeding off of me?" Jeremy hesitantly asked. Chrysalis looked away before nodding. Jeremy tapped her on the shoulder, and offered his forearm. She looked at it in surprise. "Well? It's yours, after all," Jeremy commented. Chrysalis seemed unsure of what to do. Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Girl, I'm not going to starve you while we're here. Hurry up, already!" Chrysalis looked at him, the tiniest hint of gratitude expressing itself in a small smile on her face before she gently bit back into his forearm. A pink vapor seeped out of the bite marks, and she stayed like that for a while before unlatching once more.

"Thanks, I… thanks," she muttered.

Jeremy smiled. "Anytime."

It was a casual day as Jeremy caught up with his homework, stopping occasionally as Chrysalis questioningly brought up item after item for him to explain. When she was downstairs digging in the garage, he composed an email to the last Hasbro employee to contact him. "Hey, so I got back," it started off. "Kinda confused about a few things. First, what's up with the time synchronization? I don't want to find out today that it's been a month for them when I get back, or something. Second, try to stay out of Canterlot if at all possible, or give me a heads-up if the six head over there. Third? You guys aren't the only authors out here…" Signing off with his name, he sent it just as Chrysalis came up, levitating a coffee grinder that had once contained aluminum foil. Jeremy smiled as he began to explain.

Finally, finding nothing else to do, Jeremy decided to head back through the portal to check up on Equestria. Carrying his phone with him, he was surprised to discover that he still had wi-fi, although it wasn't usable if he was outside the castle. Chrysalis opted to stay at his house, still curious about Earth. Celestia was pleased to see him, greeting him with a wave – she was as busy as ever with her various royal duties. Luna was asleep, so he went over to his computer at the office. To his pleasure, he found that it had updated to include the more recent games he had acquired. He had lunch with Celestia in the royal dining hall, and afterwards headed back through the portal, once again finding himself bored. Maybe Chrysalis had found something they could do?

To his surprise, Chrysalis was surfing through websites, using her magic to push keys and her hoof on the mouse. As soon as she saw him, she choked and hurriedly clicked away from her tab. Jeremy placed his hands on his hips. "Alright… what did you find?" Chrysalis was blushing too hard to answer, and seemed to be holding back laughter. Jeremy waited patiently, and she finally calmed down.

"I… oh, you've just got to see it," she replied and clicked back. Jeremy himself blushed as it depicted an extremely lewd picture of Chrysalis herself.

"_Um_. Yeah, that's… that happens," he falteringly explained. Chrysalis laughed louder, nearly slipping out of her chair.

"And here I thought we were just a wriggler's entertainment!" she taunted, still laughing as hard as she could. Jeremy gave an embarrassed laugh. What was he supposed to say in this? After a while, she calmed down enough to breathe. Chrysalis turned to him, smirking. "So… I found some pretty interesting ones on here. Feel like acting them out?" she seductively asked, and Jeremy's heart missed a beat as he went right back to blushing.

"Um… no. No, I'm good, thanks!" he stammered. Chrysalis went back to laughing at his reaction.

"Relax, I wouldn't do that to you," she chuckled. Jeremy took a moment to still his beating heart. "What's gotten you so flustered, anyway?" Chrysalis asked. "I didn't see anything too out of the ordinary." Jeremy looked at her in disbelief.

"Clearly you weren't looking hard enough," he muttered. Chrysalis gave him a suspicious look, but shrugged it off. For a while, Jeremy showed her some of his favorite websites – mostly science sites, with only a single, obscure social media account. Chrysalis perused these briefly, and moved on to her own research projects – among them, Jeremy caught various news sites. He read an article with her on recent Middle East conflicts. "Planning something?" he sarcastically asked. Chrysalis shook her head.

"No, but your news reports are fascinating – to see deaths discussed so casually…" Jeremy shrugged.

"Yeah, it happens." He left to get lunch.

By the time he came back, Chrysalis had headphones on and was staring at a YouTube video, a rapt expression on her face. Smiling, Jeremy decided not to interrupt her, and instead focused on continuing a book he had begun reading a few days ago.

This continued on for a few hours, and Jeremy was relieved at the rest – he felt that his life in Equestria was always far too hectic. Was this how Celestia and Luna felt about their jobs? Still vaguely on this train of thought, Jeremy was extremely surprised when Luna tapped him on the shoulder. "Good evening! I see Chrysalis is enjoying herself," Luna noted, watching Chrysalis as she clicked through yet more videos – judging from the titles, they were all love songs.

"Yep. I might have to intervene at some point – she's been on there for hours," Jeremy replied. Apparently, Chrysalis heard this, as she hastily took off her headphones and paused the video, swinging around the chair to face the pair of them.

"Sorry, I just… alien culture, you know?" she commented. Jeremy smirked.

"Can I check my email?" he asked, and Chrysalis got up and stretched, trotting over to Luna and striking up a conversation about her day as Jeremy logged in. As he waited for the computer to load his messages, he reflected on how friendly Chrysalis and Luna were being – he had half expected some sort of jealousy amongst his three mares. Hearing them giggling in the background, he elected to ignore it and focused on reading the latest emails.

Most were spam, one or two were petitions he didn't feel like signing, and there was just one from Hasbro. Interested, Jeremy opened this one. "Dear Jeremy," he mentally read. "The synchronization should be 1:1 – we're not sure if we can do anything about that, but we'll see how things work. As for Canterlot, Twilight should only visit in this season's final, so you don't have to worry about that. And what do you mean on that last line?" Jeremy composed a quick response, noticing yet more giggling and muttering behind him.

"Sounds good to me – P.L. just checked in on time, so I think it all worked out? Who knows. Any tips on knowing when to avoid the finale? Oh, and whatever you do, don't mess with a certain mint pony… -Jeremy" He sent it, and turned around to find Luna blushing as Chrysalis whispered into her ear.

"Oh, for god's – did you have to?" he asked Chrysalis, instantly catching on. Chrysalis giggled.

"Seeing her reaction was almost as good as seeing yours!" Luna looked at him, interested.

"We wish to see some of these!" she proclaimed in the most serious voice possible. Jeremy went straight back to blushing, and Chrysalis was on her back, struggling once again to breathe as peals of laughter echoed through the room. Luna looked at her, confused. "What is so amusing?" she asked. Jeremy was still too embarrassed to answer, and Luna got this after a few seconds. Chrysalis picked herself up off the floor, and left, claiming she had to "get a few things" while still chuckling.

Jeremy spent the day chatting with friends and surfing the Internet, being careful not to give any details about recent events. After assuring them that he really did feel much better, he signed off and ate a quick dinner. When he came back up, he noticed that Chrysalis was moving around in his room, her horn casting a green glow on the bedroom walls. Walking in curiously, he noticed that the space formerly taken up by a cabinet was now dedicated to a large cocoon, easily twice the size of the one in her own room. "Nice, I guess, as long as it doesn't spill – I do vacuum occasionally," Jeremy commented. Chrysalis waved a hoof.

"I'll clean it up if it does – and you vacuum?" Jeremy nodded.

"I've done my own chores ever since I got back," he informed her. Chrysalis sized him up with a look.

"…Do you also take long walks on the beach?" she asked sarcastically. Jeremy laughed.

"What, a guy can't do chores?" Chrysalis grumbled something, before rolling her eyes.

Getting back on his computer, Jeremy noticed an incoming call on the phone downstairs. Grumbling, he walked back down the stairs and picked it up, Luna looking at the phone as though it were a strange beast that had wandered into the kitchen. As soon as he held the phone to his ear, a voice began speaking, skipping the usual introductions. "Don't give out any more information. We're being watched," the male voice said, and promptly hung up. Jeremy was thoroughly perplexed. Being watched? By who? Shrugging it off, he went back to killing time on the computer, reading through a new comic his friend had sent him, claiming it was yet another fandom he needed to enter. It was pretty long – something like 7,000 pages? However, it was pretty interesting.

A few hours later, it was midnight, and Jeremy needed to go to bed. He reluctantly saved the page he was on, and went into his room, pulling on his pajamas and brushing his teeth. Chrysalis climbed into her cocoon, sighing as she quickly drifted off to sleep. Jeremy crawled into his own bed, and jerked away when he discovered something was already in it. To his surprise, Luna poked her head out from under the covers. "Couldst thou turn off the lights?" she sleepily asked, and after some hesitation Jeremy did so, plunging the room into pitch darkness. Feeling his way back into bed, Jeremy pulled up the blanket and draped an arm over Luna. He gave a content sigh at the boredom of the day – just what he needed, he thought to himself before slipping into dreaming oblivion.

As he dreamt, the still-lucid part of him noted that he wasn't having any nightmares about fighting or killing. In fact, his dream was relatively peaceful, consisting of wandering down endless steel and stone corridors, picking up random objects that he dazedly thought were important before continuing on. Sometimes, he would turn a corner to see Luna watching him interestedly, but after she didn't appear for a while, Jeremy promptly forgot about her existence – such was the nature of his dreaming mind.

It seemed like only an hour or so before he started to wake up, the sunlight streaming through his window causing him to turn over and face the wall. Wait, where was Luna? And why did he hear giggling? And why was he so _cold_? Jeremy opened his eyes to find Luna and Chrysalis both sitting on the bed, the covers pulled back. Jeremy looked down at himself, and immediately regretted it: While they had left his pajamas on, they were very clearly having fun with his sleeping body. Chrysalis walked forward and sat on his chest, face inches from his. "You know, I really wasn't expecting you to have those kinds of dreams," she mentioned, and Luna giggled in the background. Jeremy got over his shock and sat up quickly, startling Chrysalis. He looked back at her, an embarrassed smile on his face.

"Likewise, I wasn't expecting this kind of wake-up call," he responded. Chrysalis mockingly traced a hoof around his collarbone before walking off of him. He swung out of bed, and went into the bathroom to change, pulling on a skintight pair of jeans and a warm winter jacket to compensate for his being so cold. Walking downstairs, he ate a quick breakfast before going back up to his computer.

"Is this what you do all day? Check the computer, do random experiments in the lab?" Chrysalis asked, sounding bored.

"Hey, it's still midwinter break for three more days," Jeremy argued. "Next Monday, I'm going to be doing classes and homework, and all that other stuff that bores me senseless." Chrysalis frowned.

"Why do you put up with it, then?" Jeremy shrugged.

"I don't know… a college degree is nice." Chrysalis gave him a confused look, and it occurred to Jeremy that she might not know what college was.

They spent the day relaxing, as was the usual, and Luna popped in and out due to her royal duties. Celestia even walked through once or twice, commenting interestedly on the various aspects of his house. Finally, Jeremy decided to head to Equestria out of sheer boredom, walking through the royal garden to his office.

To his surprise, Lyra and Bon Bon were once again at his door. As soon as she saw him, Lyra whipped around and greeted him with a huge grin. "Hello, mister Jeremy!" she happily exclaimed. Jeremy gave a small smile in return.

"Hey. How's it going?" Lyra bounced up and down, the picture of joy.

"Great! I was so sad when I thought you had died, but now that you're alive I can finally ask you!" Jeremy raised an eyebrow.

"…Ask me what?" he inquired. Lyra beamed at him – all her enthusiasm was starting to infect Jeremy at this point, who jovially smiled.

"I was wondering if I could go to the human world, of course!" And there went Jeremy's mood.

"…You. As a pony. In the human world," he clarified, and Lyra nodded. "Absolutely not," Jeremy answered sternly. Lyra immediately protested, and he silenced her before continuing. "You know what it's like there – in fact, I seem to recall you _literally wrote_ the book on the subject! It's not safe for you." Lyra pouted, and Bon Bon glared at him. "Yeah, I know, I'm a joykiller," Jeremy admitted, hating himself for doing this. "But you would have a very serious risk of death – I noticed you skated over the government and corporate sectors in your story, and they are not to be ignored. They'll dissect you, or imprison you just for being a living, functioning unicorn – let alone the author of their universe." Lyra looked down, by now on the verge of tears.

Jeremy sighed, knowing he was taking a risk but unable to stand the sight of a crying pony. "Okay, how about this. We can find some way to disguise you as a human, and… you can tag along with me, I guess." Lyra looked up, mood instantly changing back to jubilant, and Jeremy looked at her, somewhat alarmed.

"Yes! That works, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she exclaimed. Jeremy decided to let Lyra's seeming bipolarity slide.

"By the way, a few others will probably be joining you – Queen Chrysalis among them. Still up for it?" he asked. To his surprise, Lyra furiously nodded. "Okay… well, stop by the castle sometime next week. I'll let Celestia know what you're up to in advance," he told her, and Lyra bobbed her head up and down so quickly Jeremy feared it would fall off. Bon Bon gave him a glare that said "If you end up hurting my Lyra, I'll kill you", and Jeremy gave her a solemn nod before continuing into his office.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

1-4-14, 3:07 P.M.

It had been a few days of relaxation, and the human world had quickly lost its allure for the two alien mares. Jeremy felt much the same way, and not even various trips to Equestria served to dampen the boredom, as there was nothing to do there either. So, Jeremy spent most of his time being a couch potato, or playing games in Luna's new pocket dimension – right now he was checking various websites, refreshing each page and hoping for an update.

Luna walked in, and pulled up a chair from another room. "Jeremy, we have been reading your email, and we need to talk," she declared, and Chrysalis looked at her before taking a seat on the floor.

Jeremy grimaced. "Yeah…" Should he apologize? Explain, maybe? Luna cut him off.

"We wish that thou would keep us informed of such matters – they are of critical importance to us, after all. Still… it troubles us, this 'finale'…" Jeremy shrugged, dismissing her concerns.

"If it's in the show, we're pretty much guaranteed to win, so I wouldn't be too unhappy." Luna frowned, but apparently accepted this argument.

Chrysalis looked between them. "What are you two talking about?" she asked, in utter confusion. Jeremy quickly explained the fourth wall to her, and she looked at him as though he were crazy. To this, Jeremy sighed, and pulled up an episode of My Little Pony for her to watch, specifically selecting her own debut. Chrysalis watched for a while, looking away in disgust at her own monologues and Cadance's dialogue. Finally, when the episode was over, she turned to Jeremy. "So, this 'Hasbro'… they're in control of our universe?"

Jeremy shrugged. "It's up for debate – honestly, I have no idea at this point which universe is influencing which. Maybe we'll never know."

He turned back to his computer, checking his email once more out of boredom. Finding nothing, he turned back to the two mares, who were doing their usual thing and relaxing. Chrysalis seemed to have a special preference for the heating vent over in his bedroom, and Jeremy honestly didn't blame her – the house could get very cold during the winter. "Anyone else bored out of their skull?" Jeremy asked, and Luna nodded.

"As relaxing as this is, we are beginning to look forward to thy first day of school," Luna grumbled.

"Oh yeah, that's tomorrow," Jeremy remembered. He got up and found his backpack, and checked through the mounds of loose papers for any homework. To his annoyance, he was interrupted by a phone call.

"I got it," he called out before putting down the backpack and heading downstairs.

Picking it up, he was expecting pre-recorded political advertisements or other spam – none of his friends ever actually called him – but was surprised by a smooth, male voice on the other end, evidently human. "Hello, is this the residence of one Jeremy L.?" the unknown male asked.

"Yes, why?" Jeremy answered, once again expecting nothing good. As the man answered, Luna curiously walked downstairs.

"This is the Federal Bureau of Investigation – we have recently received confirmation of potential anomalous activity involving you, and are requesting a meeting at your earliest convenience." Jeremy paled even whiter than he normally was, an impressive feat, and the phone shook slightly in his hand as he answered.

"Do you even have the authority to force me to go?" Jeremy alarmedly replied, wishing he were more eloquent in this scenario. The voice chuckled slightly.

"Not at all… but if you don't, then we have to come over and investigate ourselves. Waste of both our time and yours, not to mention resources. So, are you going or not?" Jeremy thought for a moment, and drooped his head, feeling the embarrassment of a scolded child.

"Yeah, alright, fine. I'll come. This Saturday sounds good, I guess. Where is this 'meeting' at?" he answered dejectedly, fearing the worst.

There were sounds of shuffling paper in the background, and the voice finally replied "We can meet you at our headquarters, which you can find with a simple Google search. Transportation and room and board will be provided should you ask for it. Any other questions?" Jeremy answered in the negative, and they exchanged the usual closing remarks before hanging up.

"Art thou okay?" Luna inquired. Chrysalis was still nowhere in sight. Jeremy gave a shaky sigh before sitting down.

"The government's onto us," he explained. Now Luna was alarmed as well.

"What did they want?" Jeremy angrily glared at the phone, as though it were the object of offense and not the nameless man who had utilized it.

"Right now? They want me to meet them, in their headquarters, on the other side of the country. Probably to interrogate me, or something." Luna gave a thoughtful hum.

"Perhaps they merely wish to speak with thou – despite thy attitude towards thy culture, we still refuse to believe every other human is as bad as thou say." Jeremy wasn't willing to argue the point, so he simply shrugged.

Chrysalis came downstairs, laughing to herself about something and quickly stopping at the serious look on the other two's faces. She paused to sniff the air curiously. "Fear, dismay and just a hint of anger – alright, what happened?" she asked, all traces of earlier mirth gone. Jeremy explained, and to his surprise, Chrysalis reacted more violently than he would have expected. She staggered her way into a chair, face in her hooves.

"…Are you… okay?" Jeremy falteringly asked after a short moment.

"Oh, yes, I'm absolutely fine," Chrysalis practically snarled through her hooves, her sarcasm dripping. "It's just – this is the same government you've been talking about, which had no problem with committing horrific atrocities and probably wants to strip-mine Equestria now? Oh yes, absolutely peachy," she continued. Jeremy looked at her – as much as he agreed with the sentiment, he thought her reaction was a little dramatic.

"Relax, I'm sure we'll be fine. The military couldn't stop me before, remember?" he reminded her, trying to sound confident. Chrysalis glared at him.

"Even you don't believe what you're saying," she retorted, and Jeremy glared right back at her, remembering that she could read minds and sense emotions.

"Alright, maybe I don't, but I'm not going to lose hope just yet." Luna watched the exchange in mild alarm, before clearing her throat. Both Jeremy and Chrysalis looked at her.

"Perhaps we should focus on what we can do about this, and not what this 'FBI' might do to us," she suggested. Jeremy glumly agreed, and set about to brainstorming.

A solid hour later, they didn't have any good ideas. "Can you teleport me out if anything happens?" Jeremy asked Luna, and she considered.

"Yes, we could, but that would not solve much. Thou would simply have to deal with them later, and they would be even less happy," Luna replied, and Jeremy grimaced before settling back into his chair and gazing around the kitchen table, as though vaguely hoping to find an answer there. Chrysalis had been silently musing all this time, and Luna had had a few ideas, though with her lack of knowledge of modern human diplomacy, none were viable. Finally, Chrysalis spoke up.

"What if we pretend we're the ones with the upper hand here?" she asked. Jeremy looked at her in disbelief, and she pressed on. "Hear me out here. If you act like you hold all the cards, you might be able to intimidate them into leaving you alone. You could threaten them with any number of things – they don't know how our magic works, right?" she asked, and Jeremy nodded, quickly warming up to this idea. "Then you could say, for example, that Celestia could rain fire down from your own sun if they don't do as you say. Or that Luna could move your moon away from Earth permanently. Something like that," she finished. A wicked smile came to Jeremy's face.

"I like that idea. Incidentally, can you do any of that?" he asked Luna, who shook her head. Of the three, hers was the only face still frowning.

"We do not like manipulating them so… it seems wrong," she pondered aloud. Chrysalis immediately objected to this, while Jeremy was now inclined to doubt the idea he had been so sure of earlier.

"We're only going to use it if we have to," he replied, interrupting Chrysalis' tirade about unfair play. Chrysalis looked like she was going to object as well, until Jeremy shushed her with a look. "We'll play by the book… right up until the second they stop. Then all bets are off," he concluded. Luna still looked skeptical, but less so.

"We still do not think this is a good plan, but… It is a plan," she conceded. And with that, they adjourned to bed, Jeremy setting his alarm for 6:30 A.M. tomorrow and wishing he only had to deal with either school or the government. Luna crawled into bed with him, and he smiled as he placed an arm around her – an act as comforting to him as he meant to her.

1-5-14, 6:51 A.M.

Jeremy walked into his school building, Luna and Chrysalis tagging along behind him. Luna had taken a while to settle on her human appearance, but Jeremy thought the overall result was very convincing. Chrysalis found no trouble with disguising herself, settling on a random female teen she had seen in the audience of some political speech video. Their official cover story was that Chrysalis – newly renamed Christian – and Luna, who had kept her name, were transfer students from England attending Jeremy's classes as part of an exchange student program. After the quick conjuration of some official paperwork, they were set to go, and Jeremy warned that these wouldn't be the only exchange students, thus covering for Lyra and possibly Celestia as well. Luna and Chrysalis fascinatedly followed Jeremy around as he went to his various classes, living up to his exchange host role by explaining to them everything he could think of about the school. The teachers were at first surprised by the sudden appearance of two exchange students, but quickly moved on back to their lesson plans, to Jeremy's satisfaction.

After four monotonous periods of mind-numbingly boring subjects and note-taking, it was finally time for lunch, and Jeremy did his usual thing and got downstairs before almost everybody else, casually waiting in line. "Salad's over there, pizza's over there, and I am off to the grill line," he stated as he waited for the lunch staff to raise the metal grille and allow the students to enter the serving lines. Once they had all gotten their meals, they headed off to Jeremy's favorite table, where his human friends usually met up. Introductions were made, and Jeremy found it surprisingly hard to resist telling his friends that they were, in fact, speaking to Princess Luna and Queen Chrysalis – but he successfully resisted the urge. They asked how Mexico was, and he replied with enthusiasm, going into detail on the trip while avoiding any mention of Celestia. After eating quickly, he adjourned to the library, finding to his delight that it had gotten some new books over break. He checked as many out as he could, exchanging small talk with the librarian before heading over to a reading section and opening the topmost of his new books. "How long will those take you to read?" Chrysalis queried, sitting down next to him as Luna looked around the library.

"Hmm… maybe a day?" Jeremy half-jokingly replied. Chrysalis picked up a book from his stack, clumsily dropping it before finally managing to pick it up and open it.

"I never did like opposable thumbs – too unwieldy compared to magic," Chrysalis muttered so the librarian wouldn't overhear.

Two class periods later, it was time to go home. Jeremy strode out the door, heading for the bus area as Chrysalis and Luna struggled to keep up. "Do you have to walk so fast?" Chrysalis complained.

"Yes," Jeremy smugly answered as he walked past the flood of other students, freely stepping off the sidewalk to circumnavigate when needed. Greeting the bus driver with a wave, he walked back to a spot he chose to sit in often, Luna and Chrysalis squeezing into the seat with him.

As soon as they got home, Jeremy took off his ski jacket and tossed his backpack to the side of his computer, waiting for it to boot up. Chrysalis changed back into her normal form, stretching vigorously before heading back through the portal. Luna also headed through, and Jeremy was left to his own devices.

Hours passed before Chrysalis returned, as nonchalant as ever. "So, what have you been up to? Nothing too interesting, I suppose," Chrysalis commented. Jeremy smirked.

"Homework, research, and games – the usual cocktail of time-killers. You?" Chrysalis shrugged.

"Just making sure the hive was still going in my absence – which it was, of course. We've almost got our series of love machines finished, and have started distribution." Jeremy smiled.

"All right, nice." Chrysalis crawled up into his lap, and he gave her a brief head rub before resuming his homework.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Chrysalis inquired.

"Sure, what?" Jeremy answered.

"While I was poking around online, I found something called a 'tranquilizer dart gun' – why didn't you use that instead of spraying tranquilizers everywhere?" she asked. Jeremy nervously shifted.

"Truth be told? I'm kind of… afraid of needles," he mumbled. Chrysalis arched an eyebrow.

"So what? It's not like you're getting hit by one." Jeremy nervously shifted some more, causing Chrysalis to have to steady herself with a hoof.

"Yeah, but… it's just… whenever I even think about that kind of sensation, or see someone getting injected…" At this point, Chrysalis sat up from her earlier position.

"Okay, seriously, stop. I'm going to fall off at this rate." Jeremy noticed what he was doing, and immediately stopped, still twitching nervously. "Wow, you really do have a phobia, don't you," Chrysalis noted.

"Yeah, well, doesn't everyone?" Jeremy grumbled. Chrysalis waved a hoof.

"Not always, and not on your level most of the time. Say… how are you okay with fangs in your skin if you're not okay with needles?" Jeremy shrugged, recalling the incident two mornings ago.

"I guess because it's easier to see the fangs? I don't know, they just seem too different for me to make the mental connection or something." Chrysalis rolled her eyes and settled back down.

As they got ready to go to their respective beds, Lyra bounced through the portal, tackling Jeremy. While he didn't fall over, he did stumble back, before returning her hug somewhat uncertainly. Chrysalis looked over in surprise.

"Who is that?" she asked in confusion.

"Chrysalis, this is Lyra. She's really, really into humans, so she'll also be hanging here," Jeremy introduced. Lyra backed away at the mention of Chrysalis' name, whereas Chrysalis just shrugged.

"Sounds good – just don't touch my cocoon." Lyra mutely nodded, and Jeremy looked at her quizzically. _Guess some prejudices die hard_, he thought.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

The week went on much like this. Lyra enthusiastically followed him around every day, and Luna or Chrysalis occasionally tagged along. Celestia only visited once, exchanging the usual small talk about his school as they wandered around. Luna offered to help with his homework, and Jeremy gladly accepted. As it turned out, her original thousand-year tenure on Equestria had rendered her intelligent in a wide variety of subjects, though she struggled with distinctly human concepts. Chrysalis, meanwhile, claimed she had no interest in learning mathematics, not seeing the use. Jeremy was sorely tempted to argue this point with her, but he decided to let it go for now. He got on the bus with Lyra, who had managed to rebound from her earlier fear of Luna and Chrysalis, though she still addressed them as respectfully as she could.

Suddenly, as the bus lurched into motion and lumbered around the school building, a question occurred to Jeremy – one that he was amazed he hadn't asked before. "Hey, Lyra. What do you know about Hasbro?" he asked. Lyra thought for a while, and then shrugged.

"Nothing. Why, should I know something?" she asked, and Jeremy debated on whether to tell her. Ah, what the hell.

"They seem to have created your universe," he answered. Lyra looked at him in shock – thankfully, no one was paying attention to their conversation, and the bus was loud enough to obscure it anyway.

"Yep. You created ours, and we created yours. Fun, right?" Jeremy finished. Lyra appeared to be attempting to puzzle this out, and Jeremy zoned out for a while.

Finally, the weekend rolled around, but Jeremy was not feeling the usual anticipation of a calm Saturday. He packed up his stuff for one or two nights, and Luna joined him, ready for the meeting with the FBI. Chrysalis elected to stay behind, taking the HEV suit for her own use. "What if they try to steal your things while you're away?" she pointed out when Jeremy expressed confusion at her not wanting to come. Agreeing to this point, and wishing he had thought of it earlier, he waved goodbye as he and Luna teleported to Washington D.C.

"Dost thou even know thy way around here?" Luna grumbled.

"No, that's what Google Maps is for," Jeremy replied, tapping buttons on his phone. Finally, they established a route, and began walking, Jeremy forced to go slower due to the sheer volume of pedestrian traffic.

Luna, meanwhile, was taking in the sights and sounds of America's capital. "So many people," she commented, and Jeremy nodded.

"This is a pretty popular place to watch old white people argue with each other." Luna laughed, and they continued walking.

Some hours later, they arrived at the J. Edgar Hoover building, housing the FBI's headquarters. It was an unassuming building but for the pillars across the entrance, featuring the exact same drab gray as the rest of the buildings in the area. Jeremy turned to Luna as they were about to enter. "Stay with me," he asked her, and Luna solemnly nodded. They walked in, checked in with the front desk, and waited. Finally, they were called into a meeting room, surprisingly well-lit and welcoming, with a cadre of six men waiting for them. Despite the pleasant nature of the room, Jeremy nervously twitched as he shook hands with one of the men, who had stood up to greet them. They exchanged introductions, and the man shook hands with Luna.

"And who might you be?" he asked. Jeremy looked at Luna – should they tell the truth? His question was answered for him when Luna, in a bright blue flash of light, transformed back into her alicorn form and introduced herself, as formally as possible.

"We are the Royal Princess Luna of Equestria, Protector of the Night and Dreams, and Ruler of the Moon." As scary as the situation was, Jeremy couldn't resist cracking a smile – what would these guys think of a title like that? To his satisfaction, this caused a whole lot of nervous shifting among the FBI members. _Point for us_, Jeremy thought. The leader cleared his throat.

"Er, well. Nice to meet you, Princess Luna."

"Now, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here," another FBI person asked as Jeremy and Luna sat down next to each other in the two remaining chairs. Luna merely impassively stared, and Jeremy followed suit. "You were probably under the impression that we were going to try to dissect ponies, or exploit magic, or something. We get that kind of thing a lot," remarked the second person, to Jeremy's surprise. They had certainly caught his interest, at any rate.

"Yeah, I was thinking along those lines," he mentioned after a short pause. The speaker chuckled a bit before continuing, and Jeremy suddenly recognized that chuckle – this was the man who had called him in the first place.

"Well, hate to disappoint you, but we're not that evil, despite what everyone thinks," another member chimed in.

"Very true. We want the United States to be the best that it can be, but we're not about to pull another Trail of Tears," the man who had shook their hands added. Jeremy was actually beginning to be somewhat impressed – maybe they were legitimately on Equestria's side. _Or_, his cynical side said,_maybe they're buttering you up_. He decided to reserve judgment for now.

"What we do want, however, is some sort of assurance that things don't start 'bleeding' across universes – we don't wake up one morning and find that this 'Discord' is destroying the White House, or some other such occurrence," the fourth member spoke. Jeremy smirked.

"Not having any control over Discord, I can't promise anything for certain – but he seems pretty occupied with Fluttershy, so I think we're fine there. Apart from him, I don't think anything else is going to find the portal – we have it well hidden and protected," Jeremy explained. A few of the committee were taking notes, while the remainder nodded in approval. "And what about your end? What's to say some hapless Congress member finds out about this and decides he wants to spill everything?" Jeremy asked cynically. Several of the FBI members chuckled.

"Trust me, your secret's safe with us. The President won't even know," one claimed. Jeremy shrugged.

"Works for me, I guess."

They exited the building, Luna having since turned back into her human form and looking at him expectantly. "What? Oh. Okay, yes, you were completely right. Happy?" Jeremy asked, grinning a little now that it was over. Luna smiled.

"Very. Art thou ready to head home?" Jeremy shook his head.

"We need to find a more secluded place to teleport from – doing that in public would probably cause more than a few people to freak out." Luna nodded.

"We are aware of this. Come along, then – we can see such a place." Curious, Jeremy followed her as she made her way through the streets before stopping at an old warehouse. Using her magic discreetly, she unlocked the door and the two slipped inside, Luna locking the door behind her. Jeremy held out his hand, and Luna looked at him curiously.

"I thought you had to be touching each other to teleport?" Jeremy asked after an awkward pause. Luna laughed, and they were engulfed in light. When Jeremy had finished rubbing the spots out of his eyes, he found himself back in his bedroom, Chrysalis looking up from inside her cocoon interestedly.

"Back already? How did it go?" Chrysalis asked, concerned. Jeremy shrugged.

"Pretty well – all they wanted was to know whether stuff could get through the portal and mess with Earth. We told them no, and they let us leave." Chrysalis raised an eyebrow, adjusting her position in the cocoon to face him better.

"Really? Sounds like you didn't even have to threaten them," she remarked. Jeremy blushed.

"Yeah, kind of forgot about that," he mumbled. Chrysalis sighed.

"Well, at least you ended up not needing to act confident," she replied. Jeremy gave an embarrassed laugh, before tossing his backpack full of useless clothes to the side.

"So, now that I've had enough nervous tension to last six lifetimes, what are we going to do?" he asked. Luna and Chrysalis grinned at him.

"We know of one thing to lighten the mood…" Luna commented, before tackling him onto the bed. Chrysalis watched on, grinning, as the two kissed, Jeremy staring in shock for a moment before leaning back and settling into it. Luna broke away after a moment, smiling. "We have been missing that," she breathed. Jeremy smiled back, and Chrysalis walked over.

"Well? My turn," she announced, and was promptly picked up by Jeremy and dumped on the bed, only for him to lean over and kiss her as well. As soon as he stopped, Chrysalis' cheeks were once again chlorophyllic green. "Well, that was… new," she commented.

"Better get used to it, wriggler," Jeremy taunted. Just then, Lyra walked into the room, stopping when she saw them staring at each other and blushing.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I – I'll just be out here, then," Lyra exclaimed in embarrassment before quickly shutting the door. Jeremy was also embarrassed – he had completely forgotten they had a guest. Chrysalis was simply glaring in the direction of the door, while Luna seemed more bashful.

"Perhaps we should save this for later, then?" Luna suggested regretfully. Chrysalis shook her head.

"I don't know about you, but all that time spent alone has made me hungry." She quickly locked Jeremy back into her embrace, wisps of pink smoke being seemingly drawn out of his body as she inhaled with a deep sigh. After what seemed like quite a while, she stopped, looking much more tired but just as satisfied. Jeremy, meanwhile, felt slightly dizzy.

"Whoa, that was… odd," he commented, slumping back onto the bed.

"Feeding usually goes something like that – the longer we go at it, the worse you feel. And because changelings are usually hungry enough to take all of their victim's love, we gained a reputation for knocking hapless ponies unconscious – or worse," Chrysalis explained. Luna looked on in trepidation.

"Jeremy, art thou okay?" she asked.

"Mostly, yeah," Jeremy answered as he got up. "A cup of water and I'll be good as new."

1-11-14, 7:00 P.M.

After Jeremy had busied himself drinking directly from the sink (to Luna's dismay), a shout was heard from downstairs. Ignoring his still-throbbing temples, Jeremy hurried downstairs, Luna and Chrysalis in tow, to find Lyra motioning them over to the television. "Look, it's Twilight!" she commented happily. Jeremy sighed –_here we go again_, he thought, and prepared to explain the metaphysical abstraction that was the link between their two universes. Sensing his thoughts, Chrysalis spoke up.

"Don't worry, I explained after she got a turn on the computer." Surprised and more than a little pleased, Jeremy gave her a nod, and the three sat down to watch the latest episode. It featured Pinkie Pie apparently finding out she was Applejack's cousin, and the two going on an adventure to find out whether it was true, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith in tow.

By the time the episode had ended, Jeremy was still laughing, Chrysalis had a hoof to her forehead, Lyra was still gazing raptly towards the television screen, and Luna merely watched calmly, being used to this. "This is what gets shown as an episode these days? How boring," Chrysalis commented.

"Well, they do have to occupy the time between each finale and opening episode _somehow_… and besides, the point of the show is valuable life lessons. Such as 'family isn't always blood relatives'?" Jeremy suggested. Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and Luna smirked at her before getting up to head back through the portal, promising to report to Celestia the recent events.

For the rest of the day, Jeremy took care of his homework, teaching Chrysalis the basics of algebra while he worked his way through precalculus. After getting over her initial boredom, Chrysalis actually started to pay attention, making sure to learn each concept. Noticing this, Jeremy was confused. "What's up with you, by the way? You weren't interested in this before," he remarked. Chrysalis shrugged.

"One more step towards becoming 'civilized', I suppose. After all, with the love problem finally solved, we changelings need to work on getting the rest of our national assets up to speed. Maybe start an economy or something, I don't know." Jeremy pondered this for a moment.

"Well, you're not going to learn much about economics from algebra… but yeah, it's a start," he agreed.

11 PM rolled around, and Chrysalis and Lyra retired to bed, Jeremy staying up to finish reading the comic he had begun earlier. Closing the tab, he turned off his computer, and waited for his eyes to adjust enough to the darkness so he could move safely. As he entered his room after brushing his teeth, Chrysalis' voice spoke out of the pitch dark corner of the room. "Hey, want to join me in the cocoon?"

Jeremy briefly considered refusing, but realized it would be rude – he did need to be accommodating, after all. "Alright, give me a sec," he said, taking his clothes off.

"Oh… I didn't know you had _that_ in mind, Chrysalis remarked in a sultry tone.

"What? No, it's just… I'm not going to wear clothes in a liquid environment," he answered. Chrysalis was silent for a moment.

"So… what do you do when you want to swim?" Chrysalis asked.

"Bathing suit," Jeremy answered as he got into the cocoon. It was surprisingly warm and comfortable, and he immediately relaxed next to Chrysalis. "This really isn't so bad," he noted. "How do you make these?"

Chrysalis shifted, though in the low light Jeremy couldn't tell whether this was from being nervous or simply to adjust her position. "…Do you really want to know?" she asked.

Jeremy nodded, then remembering that it was dark, replied with a short "Try me." Chrysalis sighed.

"Alright, if you must. The liquid is a mix of nutrients produced by a certain type of changeling, in a manner similar to mammal lactation. The shell is the shed skin of many changelings, woven together. Happy?" she finished.

"Huh," Jeremy replied, unsure of what else to say. Chrysalis looked at him, and opened her eyes, revealing their green glow.

"…You really aren't disgusted by that?" she asked. Jeremy made a so-so motion with his hands, by now aware that Chrysalis could see him perfectly well even if he couldn't see her.

"No, not really. That was honestly kind of tame compared to what I was expecting." Chrysalis made a confused noise, apparently attempting to process this. Finally, she sighed. "You know what, I give up trying to predict you." With that, she closed her eyes, and Jeremy placed an arm around her before falling asleep himself, head resting on the lip of the cocoon.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

1-12-14, 11:14 A.M.

It was a calm Sunday, and Jeremy was incredibly bored. Right now, it was day on Earth, meaning Luna was probably busy with her royal duties, and Chrysalis had bade him goodbye temporarily as she once again had to check on her hive. Lyra was on the computer, leaving him in his home lab, waiting for a compound to finish filtering so he could wash, dry and set it on fire. Hearing the garage door open, he tugged off his goggles and glove, and walked out. He jerked in surprise when he found that it was in fact Princess Celestia standing in front of him.

"Hello… I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?" she politely asked.

Jeremy quickly recovered. "No, I was just surprised to see you here," he replied. "So, what's up?"

Celestia smiled, peeking around him to examine his lab. For the first time in a long time, Jeremy wished he could keep the place clean – right now, the worktable was so crowded with glassware and chemical containers that he barely had room to place things. "Just that Luna requested that you come over to the castle when you get a chance. I elected to carry the message over, as I was heading to bed anyway." Jeremy thanked her, and she headed back through the portal, stopping once to acknowledge Lyra bowing with a calm "Good evening, Lyra Heartstrings." As she left, Lyra looked at Jeremy in surprise.

"P-Princess Celestia knows my name?" she squeaked. Jeremy smiled.

"I imagine she would, universe creator," he jokingly replied.

Lyra gave another small squeal of delight, seemingly having a heart attack of joy. Jeremy attempted to hold in his laughter at the sight of her, succeeding only after a long and valiant effort. With that, he quickly put on some better clothes and headed through the portal himself.

Luna was waiting on her royal throne, and to Jeremy's shock, Twilight, Spike and her friends were there as well, bleary-eyed from the lack of sleep. They were chatting about something, and Jeremy considered the possibilities. The fact that all six were present meant that something was clearly going down – but hadn't someone mentioned the Mane Six wouldn't visit Canterlot again until the finale? Maybe they were just meeting with Luna for some reason. As he hid behind a pillar, just out of sight, he overheard a snippet of conversation.

"…Shouldn't he be here by now?" Rainbow Dash was saying.

"It is rather impolite to keep us waiting at such a late hour," Rarity added.

"Actually, he is here at this very moment – just too shy to reveal himself. Come out, Jeremy," she called, and Jeremy stiffened.

Nervously, he walked over to the pillar. Spike screamed and immediately hid behind Twilight, but Jeremy was too distracted to pay much attention. _Luna. WHAT_, he mentally queried, nervous and also irritated.

_Relax – we ensured that nothing was happening. It is perfectly safe_, she replied.

Jeremy gave a deep mental sigh, and turned to Twilight, holding out a hand. "Hello, my name's Jeremy. I'm an alien."

As usual, everyone in the room except for Luna stiffened when he spoke. Twilight nervously shook his hand with her hoof. "Hello, my name's… Twilight Sparkle…" she falteringly responded.

"What in tarnation _are_ y'all?" Applejack asked bluntly. To everyone's surprise, Spike was the one who answered.

"That's a human! They're terrible creatures who hunt and kill dragons with their metal death weapons, and_eat_ the young ones!" The other six looked at Jeremy, apparently dreading his reaction, and Luna looked as though she wanted to issue a sharp retort. They were evidently surprised when Jeremy burst into laughter. Finally, when he calmed down, he addressed Spike.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just… what you said is extremely ironic. We have the exact same legend on our planet, in reverse – that dragons would kill and eat hapless humans, and were considered unstoppable and terrifying forces of nature. Anyway, relax! I'm not going to attack you guys," he finished, the earlier tension broken. Twilight shifted nervously, then held up a hoof as though she were in class. "…Yes?" Jeremy asked after a brief pause.

"Did you come through the mirror?" Twilight inquired curiously.

"What mirror – oh. No. No, I come from a different world – a different universe, in fact. No relation to the mirror's inhabitants at all, aside from basic biology," Jeremy explained. The others were looking at Twilight curiously, but she didn't explain.

From there, the conversation quickly went downhill for Jeremy. "So, why have you been so reluctant to meet me?" Twilight asked, and Jeremy stiffened. He looked at Luna nervously, and she gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head. He turned back to Twilight, who was still staring at him.

"Let's just say… I know my place," he answered, hating himself already for being so cryptic.

"O…kay then," Twilight responded, sounding slightly weirded out.

Jeremy glared at her for a short moment. "Look, I have my reasons, okay?" he continued.

After a moment, Twilight appeared to accept this. Jeremy took a moment in the resulting silence to gauge the reactions of the Mane Six to his existence. Twilight was confused, but not altogether frightened. Fluttershy was, as expected, both shy in his presence and curious as to his species. Applejack, having gotten over her initial shock, was regarding him with a friendly but suspicious look, and Rainbow Dash was looking bored. Pinkie was smiling at him, with absolutely no trace of suspicion or dislike – no surprises there, and Rarity appeared to be judging his clothes, only stopping when he looked at her. Spike was still behind Twilight, but was glaring at him slightly less suspiciously and significantly less scared than before.

Just when Jeremy thought the conversation really couldn't get much worse, a familiar laugh graced his presence. Luna glared at the walls and ceiling. "Discord, show thyself!" she demanded. Her throne warped, and turned into Discord himself, who lazily uncoiled as Luna jumped off in fright.

"My, my. So _touchy_, Luna. I'd think you would be more _thankful_ – after all I did for your relationship!" Luna looked at Jeremy in confusion, and he sighed.

"He let me know you had feelings for me," Jeremy muttered. Fluttershy looked at Discord angrily.

"Discord, what did you do?" she demanded.

"Well, instead of me giving you the usual reassurances, why don't we ask the primary source?" Discord replied, moving over to Jeremy and placing a giant, flashing neon arrow sign over his head. Jeremy chuckled a bit – Discord was as funny as ever.

"Nah, it's fine," he answered Fluttershy. "He wasn't that bad, really."

Fluttershy clearly wanted to say more, but didn't, and Discord disappeared the floating sign, instead manufacturing a couch out of thin air. "So, I might as well break the ice once more – Luna and Jeremy are dating," Discord announced with an air of delight. He then teleported over to Twilight, stage whispering into her ear so everyone could hear as she reared back in shock – though from the information or from Discord's sudden proximity, Jeremy didn't know. "He's also dating Queen Chrysalis and Celestia on the side, but we all know who's really 'caught his eye'…"

Jeremy shifted a little as he remembered that particular lyric – was Discord even there for that? Wait, yes he was. Twilight stared at him. "You're dating Princess Celestia? And _Queen Chrysalis_?" she asked. Jeremy sighed again in irritation, and nodded.

"Believe me when I say that I didn't see it coming either, on all three counts," he answered. Discord was by now off in the background, delightedly munching on handfuls of popcorn. Jeremy glanced over to him, and immediately regretted it, trying to hold back laughter.

Finally, the conversation turned to a far easier topic, as Twilight asked Jeremy to explain just how he got here and started dating the three royals in the first place. Jeremy gave a brief summary, glossing over the sappier parts in favor of the more action-packed parts, as well as skipping the existence of the portal to Earth. "…And that brings us to now," he finished. Discord took out a pair of reading glasses, shuffling a stack of papers titled "The Lost Human".

"Hmm, looks like you missed some parts – let's see here, Chapter 13, Chapter 13…" Discord mused, flipping quickly through the pages as the rest looked on in utter confusion. He turned to about halfway through the stack of papers, and blushed, looking around guiltily and hiding the papers back in whatever dimension they came out of. Jeremy was by now thoroughly confused, but decided not to press it.

With nothing much else to say, the Mane Six plus Spike left, Discord remaining behind to give Jeremy a wink and a nudge before poofing out of existence. Jeremy gazed at the space Discord had just occupied, unsure of whether to laugh, be angry, or just be confused. Eventually, he decided to let it go, and turned to Luna.

"So… is that how you imagined the conversation going?" he asked, trying not to sound irritated at how sudden it had been.

Luna shook her head. "We were not expecting Discord… but then again, nopony ever does," she noted.

Jeremy chuckled as the unintentional cultural reference hit him – Discord in a Spanish Inquisition outfit would have been hilarious.

1-12-14, 3:27 P.M.

As Jeremy headed back through the portal, his stomach growled, and he remembered that he had accidentally managed to skip lunch. To his surprise, Chrysalis had returned, glaring at him the moment he entered the downstairs kitchen.

"Where were you? The house was empty, I thought something had happened!" she exclaimed. Jeremy held up both hands in a calming gesture.

"Whoa, it's fine! Luna called me over for a surprise meeting with Sparkle and her friends," he explained nervously. Chrysalis approached him threateningly.

"Don't you _dare_ scare me like that again!" she growled. Jeremy backed away, now thoroughly alarmed.

"Okay, I promise!" he replied, and after a moment, Chrysalis backed off.

"Look, just… I'm not losing you, got it? Not again," she mumbled. Jeremy looked at her – where she had appeared threatening before, now she just looked small and scared. He bent down to her eye level, placing a palm on her front shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'm not dying that easily. It took a nuclear explosion to kill me last time, remember?" he joked.

Chrysalis looked away. "Don't even joke about that," she muttered.

"What, not funny?" Jeremy asked apologetically.

"Not really, considering we all thought you were dead for three days," she replied. Jeremy glared at her.

"I thought I would never see you guys again for four _months_," he replied.

After a moment, Chrysalis dropped her head. "Sorry," she whispered.

Jeremy sat down with her, placing an arm around her. "It's fine. I get it, you're worried. I am too, really…" he admitted.

Chrysalis laid down in his lap, and he stroked her hair, paying curious attention to the holes embedded within: Oddly enough, they kept their form even though he separated the hairs from the main body. Magic? To his embarrassment, his stomach growled again, and Chrysalis looked down, slightly alarmed. Jeremy laughed at her reaction, and attempted to get up. Chrysalis was having none of it, though, and refused to get off of him.

"Hey, get off, I'm hungry!" he protested.

"So am I!" Chrysalis retorted, and Jeremy blushed.

"Alright, fine. Just do it quickly, okay?" he asked.

Chrysalis kissed him on the lips, and Jeremy held her, feeling as though something was draining out of him. Sure enough, when Chrysalis pulled away, her mouth was slightly stained pink. Jeremy suddenly felt lightheaded, and shakingly got to his feet. He managed a few steps, before collapsing back onto the floor. Alarmed, Chrysalis caught his head before it hit the wall, and fluttered around him anxiously.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry – I didn't mean to take so much!" she apologized hurriedly.

Jeremy dazedly looked up at her. "It's fine, really. I'll be fine, right?" he asked. Chrysalis slowly nodded. "Then do me a favor and grab some fruit – still hungry," he reminded her.

Chrysalis flew over, grabbed a banana and an apple with her magic, and flew back, gently holding the apple just in front of his face. Jeremy reached a hand up and grasped the apple, feeling as though his limbs were made of lead. "Thanks," he mentioned, lifting it out of her telekinetic grasp and taking a bite. Chrysalis stayed beside him until he finished, making sure he was feeling well. Jeremy didn't want to show it, but he was a lot more tired than he let on – he knew this feeling: He'd probably pass out pretty soon. So, after he finished his food, he hesitantly stood up again, leaning against the wall for support. He stumbled his way over to the nearby couch in the living room, collapsing onto it in relief.

"I think I'm gonna stay here a while, that alright with you?" he sleepily asked Chrysalis.

"Of course," she agreed, and Jeremy slipped off into a deep sleep.

Once again, he was dreaming, though he knew not of what. Luna made a few appearances, sometimes in two places at once. Finally, she walked up to him, touching him gently on the chest. Jeremy gasped as control of his conscious mind returned to him.

"What art thou doing? It's too early for thou to be asleep – did something happen?" Luna asked, concerned. Jeremy took a moment to recollect his memories.

"No, nothing like that," he answered. "Chrysalis fed off of me, and I kind of passed out because I was already hungry." Luna looked outraged.

"The nerve! We are beginning to think she is becoming greedy with thy love." Jeremy shrugged.

"She was really sorry about it afterward, so don't be too harsh on her." Luna looked like she wanted to object, but finally nodded.

With that, she left him to his dreams, and he watched the scenes around him with a slight blush – was this really what his unconscious mind thought up?

1-12-14, 6:47 P.M.

When Jeremy woke up, he was surprised to find that a blanket had been carefully tucked around him, and pillows had been tucked under his head. Looking around, he spied Chrysalis, who looked up the second he moved.

"How are you feeling?" she tentatively asked. To her alarm, Jeremy got up and stretched.

"Better…" He sat back down, and Chrysalis sidled up next to him. "Luna visited my dream," he mentioned, and Chrysalis looked over at him in interest.

"Oh? And just what do you two get up to in your dreams?" she commented devilishly. Jeremy smiled.

"Nothing like what you're thinking, at any rate. Mostly we just talk." Chrysalis rolled her eyes.

"You can do that perfectly well when you're awake – honestly, you can be so boring sometimes!"

Jeremy chuckled. "I prefer being boring – much less chance of dying," he quipped.

Chrysalis' mouth curled up in a smile, and for a while they sat there on the couch, simply enjoying each other's company.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

1-15-14, 1:02 P.M.

It was yet another relaxing, boring day at Jeremy's house. For the first time in a long time, it had snowed, but not nearly as much as was currently lining the streets of Canterlot. Jeremy spent most of his time huddled in a winter jacket at the computer, playing games with his friends. Chrysalis occasionally joined in on the multiplayer, delighted to find that she was quite good at puzzle-solving with him. Despite the bitter cold, Luna seemed significantly more cheerful, often going out to gaze at the alien stars and moon. Occasionally, Jeremy joined her, even attempting to make sense of star charts to find constellations. Eventually, Luna had taken over the star charts, and was clearly far more skilled at reading them, though Jeremy knew their cultural meanings. After such nights, he was surprised to find he wasn't as exhausted as he would normally be, despite his staying up late. Right now, Jeremy was working on fixing his telescope, a relic of a time long past when his parents had indulged his interest in space and planets. Unfortunately, he wasn't having much luck.

Celestia showed up more regularly during the daytime, also commenting on the oddity that was the 12-hour difference between the two universes as she observed the Earth's daytime. A much-revisited topic of conversation around the house was the many differences between Earth and Equestria – it had even become a sort of game to find the most obscure or subtle deviations between the two. On one such discussion, Luna had brought up the subject of the most common elements in the Equestrian continental crust, claiming chromium and titanium were most common next to the usual silicon and oxygen while holding a human Periodic Table. Surprised by this, Jeremy had asked what elements were most rare, to which she had replied "Magnesium, and aluminium."

Grinning, Jeremy had got up and pulled out a roll of aluminum foil, and once she understood what it was, Luna's eyes went wide. Jeremy laughed. "I had the same reaction when I found that all your coinage was nearly pure gold – don't go crashing your economy, you hear?" Luna had taken the roll of foil back to her own room for study, leaving Jeremy mildly inconvenienced – he had had to drive all the way out to the store and buy a new one.

After trying fruitlessly for over an hour to fix the telescope, Jeremy went downstairs, to find that Chrysalis was once again the sole other occupant of the house, Lyra having long since reported back to Bon Bon, promising that she would visit again. Celestia was asleep, it being nighttime in Equestria, and Luna was overseeing affairs – she claimed the middle of the week was often the busiest day. Chrysalis, however, had no such duties – in fact, her current 'duty' as queen was to research what to do next for her developing semi-nation. This mainly involved researching similar situations in both human and pony history, and working out plans for what to export and import. At the moment, she seemed to be heavily involved in sketching out a plan for one such affair, though in a language Jeremy couldn't quite read.

As he approached, she looked up at him, smiling slightly. "What do you think?" she asked, gesturing at the topmost paper. Sitting down beside her, Jeremy examined it, once again trying to make sense out of it.

"…Can't read it, sorry," he admitted. Chrysalis looked at him for a second before it hit her. "Oh, my mistake. That's changeling language – it basically says that the main export is going to be the minerals in the caves beneath quite a few of the hives. They're quite nice, the green glow makes us feel right at home." Jeremy stared in alarm.

"Green glow?" he asked her. "That's probably radiation – was I poisoned?!"

Chrysalis shook her head. "Those are below the surface – you've never even been close."

Only slightly more relaxed, Jeremy leaned back against the living room couch. "So, radioactive minerals. I'm assuming those are rare enough to warrant a sustainable trade?" Jeremy asked. Chrysalis looked at him thoughtfully.

"Radioactive, you say? I was wondering what that was – I heard it mentioned somewhere and thought it had to do with sound. At any rate, Equestria only has scant sources of any of these 'radioactive' minerals, and even then they're only used for small research purposes. If we changelings distribute our sources at just the right rate, we can reap in the bits while still being cheaper than Equestria's current sources."

Jeremy nodded, impressed. "Sounds like a good plan so far. What about imports?" he asked.

Chrysalis smiled. "Everything we can get, especially books. I read in your histories of the transfer of manuscripts from China to Europe – I imagine this will be quite similar." Jeremy hummed appreciatively.

"Say, I have a question to ask you, if you feel like answering," he mentioned, remembering what it was he had come down here to do. Chrysalis looked at him, silent. "You told me in our very first real conversation that you had gotten guns from us, not to mention helicopters. How?" he inquired, trying his best to sound merely curious and not accusing.

Chrysalis looked away for a moment. "You sure you want to know? I'm serious, you might hate me after this," she began.

Jeremy laughed. "I'm not that fickle. Go on, try me – I'm genuinely curious." Chrysalis shifted nervously, finally setting her pencil down.

"Alright, well… You weren't the first human I ever met," she admitted. Jeremy simply looked at her, listening attentively. "There was one other. A male, adult by the looks of things. He showed up one day at our hive, lost and seeking shelter. Thinking to extract his love, I happily obliged, as we were still starving. To my surprise, he proved to be a font of information regarding weapons that he claimed could 'easily defeat magic' – as indeed they did. I followed him back to the portal that had taken him here – he claimed it had closed, but I used my magic to re-open it. After that, he spent a few days gathering blueprints under my watch, and showed us some of his own weapons – apparently he was a former member of your American military, and had served in 'Afghanistan'."

Jeremy slapped a hand to his forehead. "Doesn't that just figure," he groaned.

Chrysalis looked at him askance before continuing. "To my surprise, I found that his reason for doing all of this was to make Princess Celestia his sex slave – and when I pointed out that she would die rather than submit in such a manner, he demanded that I transform into Celestia and pleasure him instead, as compensation for his services." Jeremy shuddered, and Chrysalis grimly stared down at her paper, making a careful effort to avoid looking at his face.

"What did you… do next?" he cautiously asked.

Chrysalis looked at him. "I refused. To use a few of your phrases, I 'dumped his ass, stone cold'."

Jeremy laughed. "Serves him right. Where is he now?" Chrysalis shrugged.

"I forcibly ejected him through the portal, claiming that if he ever dared to appear again I would kill him. So… I suppose he's somewhere on Earth."

Jeremy frowned. "Well… you're right, that wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. But… no, I don't hate you. You were starving, probably desperate – a chance to retake Equestria like that was probably too good to pass up, right?" Chrysalis stared at him for a moment, then nodded.

"So… that's how I got machine guns, helicopters, sniper rifles and such," she finished. "But what about you?" Chrysalis asked, and Jeremy stared at her in confusion. "Where did you get your arsenal? It couldn't have been from Luna – she didn't know anything about gun blueprints the last time I asked, certainly not enough to create that assault rifle you enjoyed so thoroughly."

Jeremy gave an embarrassed grin. "Well, to give the short version, some military or terrorist dicks attacked my school and tried to murder the students, so I started killing them and stealing their weapons. Over time, I got quite the collection going – as a matter of fact, I still have all of them in the suit," he mentioned as an afterthought.

Chrysalis shook her head in mock disgust. "Doesn't that just figure – you say you killed a bunch of people, and then it turns out you were being a hero."

Jeremy glared at her. "Murder is not heroic," he stated flatly. "Those idiots might've been evil enough to kill children – but I'm willing to bet that they had homes, and families, and probably even children. Children who'll never quite understand why I had to ruthlessly kill their fathers, and mothers who'll never quite accept that their lover isn't coming home again. If I could do it over again, I would have pretty much done the same things, but… that doesn't make it right," he quietly finished.

Chrysalis dropped her head. "Sorry, I forgot what that meant to you," she replied.

Jeremy sighed. "I don't like to talk about it – you're not the only one who worries about what you look like to others," he admitted nervously.

"I know. What a couple we make," Chrysalis joked, and Jeremy laughed as the tension was broken.

Some hours later, Luna walked in, looking exhausted. "What a night – we might just go to bed early after all," she tiredly exclaimed, flopping onto the couch in a most unprincessly manner. Jeremy, who was preparing dinner, chuckled.

"What happened?" he asked, and Luna launched into an explanation – her usual mix of calming dreams and attending to royal bureaucracy had been particularly hectic, it seemed. Jeremy listened, half of the stuff going over his head as he frowned and nodded in what he felt were the appropriate moments. Chrysalis also listened, amused. When Luna was done, she sighed deeply before laying back on the couch, seemingly asleep. Jeremy looked at Chrysalis, grinning. "I hope you're looking forward to days like that," he remarked. Chrysalis frowned as the implications hit her, and Jeremy laughed as he set out plates.

Luna woke up just a few minutes later, and took a plate of her own – Jeremy didn't have many vegetarian recipes, but this was easily one of his favorites. Eating quickly, she put her plate away before heading up, claiming she still wanted to sleep. Jeremy watched her go, frowning – he had hoped to talk to her a bit before she rested. Oh well – he wasn't about to interrupt her sleep. Chrysalis finished her plate, uncertainly attempting to copy Luna's actions. Jeremy watched her, and nodded approvingly when she had finished. Chrysalis promptly went back to her papers, and Jeremy decided to head to bed as well – no sense staying up late on a school night.

Making his way upstairs, he noticed the still-on computer in the upstairs living room, and after a moment of hesitation sat down to check for updates. Finding nothing, he headed to his bedroom to find Luna situated in his bed, still awake and the lights on.

"Something wrong?" he asked. Luna shook her head.

"We were just thinking… what were the odds of us teleporting here? Both thy universe and our own are primarily composed of empty space, and landing on your planet specifically would have a statistical probability of zero. But it happened…" she went back to being lost in thought.

Jeremy thought about this for a moment. "I bet your parents had something to do with it," he mentioned. Luna looked up at him.

"We had forgotten thou had met our parents. But how are they involved?" Jeremy pulled on his pajamas as he explained.

"They told me they were 'Guardians of Fate' now, whatever that means – I bet it has something to do with destiny and predetermination and stuff. Seems likely to me that they might have adjusted your spell to end up in just the right place to keep destiny on the right track, or something like that."

Luna pondered this for a moment, then gave a sigh of disgust. "We will probably never fully understand – such is the nature of problems like this." Jeremy gave a short chuckle.

"I gave up trying to understand a long while ago – now I just roll with things as they happen." He flipped the light switch and got into bed with her, carefully avoiding her wings so as not to crush them.

Chrysalis trotted in a half hour later, horn lighting up the dark room in green shadows as she levitated some papers onto a nearby cabinet. Jeremy groaned as he turned over, trying to ignore the new and painful source of light. Thankfully, Chrysalis finished quickly, crawling into her cocoon and emitting a gentle, relaxed hiss.

1-16-14, 6:05 A.M.

Jeremy was surprised to find that both Luna and Chrysalis were already up by the time he had gotten dressed. Luna was making breakfast in the kitchen, and Jeremy gladly accepted a pancake as he blearily tried to shake himself from the stubborn throes of sleep. Chrysalis was watching TV, barely acknowledging his presence as he headed out the door.

School was still as boring as ever – though his grades had begun to improve due to Luna's tutoring. His friends were much more carefree around him now that his mood had improved as well, and he actually joked along with them for once. For once, his life was relatively uncomplicated, and he quickly settled back into the school routine now that break was over. Now that it was a Thursday, he stayed after school for Science Club, pulling a few flasks and reagents out of his backpack for the day's demonstration. To his delight, the experiment worked perfectly, and he spent the rest of the club session explaining how it worked.

When he drove home, Chrysalis was unconcerned as to his lateness – apparently she had been tipped off by Luna as to his whereabouts and emotions before she had ventured back to Equestria to oversee their night. To his surprise, a few changelings were there as well, squeaking and hissing in surprise when he entered his room. "Oh, hello," he greeted them with a short wave.

"Greetings," one hissed back, voice surprisingly deep for its stature as it resumed what it had been doing – examining a printout. Peering over its shoulder, Jeremy read the title – something about developing nations? Going over to the computer, he pulled up a chair and began his homework.

He was quickly interrupted by Chrysalis, who had snuck up on him and was now gently biting his shoulder. "Hey, remember what happened last time?" Jeremy reminded her.

"I fed a short while ago – this is just force of habit," Chrysalis explained. She let go, and Jeremy cautiously felt his shoulder for puncture marks – he never could be too careful.

"Say, how'd your drones get in here?" he asked.

Chrysalis pursed her lips. "Celestia allowed me to bring guests once she understood what I intended."

Jeremy nodded, satisfied with this response, and Chrysalis trotted off to continue her work.

Going back to his homework, Jeremy struggled his way through yet another physics problem, finally giving up and circling it in frustration. Maybe Luna would have some advice for this.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

A few weeks had passed, and life had quickly settled back into a routine for Jeremy. He would go to school by day, trudging through the usual monotony of classes and homework. But when he got home, there was always something Luna or Chrysalis wanted to do with him – whether it was simply cleaning the house, playing a board game they had found, or something else. Celestia also popped by whenever she could, which was almost every night. If there was nothing to be done on Earth, Jeremy simply popped over to Equestria for a while, sometimes simply busying himself with wandering around to get a feel for the area. He also visited Chrysalis' hive every once in a while, surprised to find that significant portions of the main cavern had been converted into the changeling equivalent of assembly lines. When he was feeling particularly bored, he would often enter Luna's game simulator to try his hand more realistically at some of his favorites – and it wasn't easy.

Sex was a more common occurrence between Jeremy and his various marefriends now that there was no imminent danger preventing them. Occasionally he could tell by a covert glance in his direction when attention was wanted, but most of the time he was simply dragged to his bedroom as soon as he got home. Chrysalis was especially unrelenting in this aspect, to the point where Luna complained that she "was draining more out of him than the rest of us" – Chrysalis eased up a bit after that, although she was still more frequently in the mood than the other two. Celestia was least likely to need him, if only because of her demanding job and time conflicts. She was also the most accommodating, never overstepping her bounds or trying to push him into something new. Luna, however, was significantly more energetic – now that Jeremy had accepted her being a hermaphrodite, she was eager to try new things, and he went along with them most of the time. All in all, it was a good life – it certainly made up for the boredom of his daily activities.

After one such occasion involving Luna, Jeremy stepped into the shower, only to bump into something invisible. Chrysalis revealed herself, and Jeremy stepped back out in alarm.

"Relax, it's only me," Chrysalis chuckled, turning on the shower water.

"Why are you in here?" Jeremy asked suspiciously.

"I like the hot water – hot showers are something I've never had before," Chrysalis admitted.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Have you even bathed before?"

Chrysalis looked away. "…No," she answered. "Whenever I needed to get clean, I would find the nearest lake and swim for a while." Jeremy sighed as he stepped back into the shower with her, turning on the hot water and waiting for the tub to fill up. "Are you going to give me a bath?" Chrysalis asked suspiciously.

"Might as well, got nothing better to do and I need to shower," Jeremy replied, flinching as the cold water hit him.

"You sure? It's a little odd to see you so comfortable when you're naked," she answered, flying up to perch herself on the bathtub sides and escape the cold water. Jeremy laughed at her reaction.

"Guess I'm getting used to it," he teased. Once the water was scalding hot, he closed off the drain, standing up to turn on the shower.

As they got out of the shower, Jeremy grabbed his towel, handing Chrysalis a spare from a neatly folded stack. Pulling on his pajamas, he stared for a moment.

"What?" Chrysalis asked, noticing him frozen in thought.

"Nothing, it's just… These were the clothes I wore when I first came to Equestria, they were under the suit. Weird memories, huh?" Jeremy asked, trying to joke it off. Chrysalis smirked.

"My memories of the time were instructing my drones to stop you at all costs – I really wasn't concerned about your attire." Jeremy grimaced – his memory had quickly soured at the thought of their once violent hate for each other.

As he wound down for the day and prepared to go to bed, Luna approached him, a serious look on her face.

"We remembered thou said thou would research marriage in thy country – hast thou done so?" she asked. Jeremy nodded.

"The legal age is 17 with parental consent, 18 without, but I can petition to marry at 17 under 'special circumstances'," he recited. "I looked that up just after I got back." Luna considered this for a moment.

"Well, there's no sense petitioning for you to marry early here – or really, marrying at all on Earth – people would wonder who you're getting married _to_," Luna thought aloud.

Jeremy laughed. "I also think a sudden triple marriage wouldn't go down well," he added, and to his surprise, Chrysalis blushed furiously as she ran from the room. "…What's her deal?" Jeremy asked. Luna shrugged, and they went to bed.

2-13-13, 3:07 P.M.

Jeremy arrived home after yet another tiring day, and opened the door to find himself pounced on by Chrysalis, who promptly showered him in kisses. "Ow – what? Get off – what are you – stop!" Jeremy spluttered, half-laughing as he struggled to get out from under her. Chrysalis swept him up into a bear hug, and Jeremy was reminded of just how strong she was for her size – he was seeing spots by the time she let go. "What was that all about?" Jeremy asked, staring at her as he got up and closed the door, hoping the neighbors hadn't noticed. Chrysalis blushed.

"It's just – I thought you were only marrying Luna!" she admitted, still with an uncharacteristic air of joy. Jeremy frowned.

"No? Definitely triple-marrying all three of you," he replied.

Chrysalis smiled. "I'm sorry if I'm acting weird, it's just – I never thought this day would come!" At this point, she was prancing around, and Jeremy found it _adorable_.

"Well… surprise!" Jeremy joked, her mood infectious. A thought occurred to Jeremy. "Did you think I'd never marry you?" he asked. Chrysalis stopped dancing around and looked at him, still smiling but now more serious.

"Well, no, I guess I had it in the back of my head that you probably would. It's just – I never expected to get married at all, is the thing!"

Jeremy laughed. "To be honest, neither did I. Wasn't really planning on dating anyone, and then this happened."

Jeremy decided to visit Equestria for a while – he didn't have much homework. He waved hello to Celestia, before heading over to his office. To his surprise, as soon as he did so he was accosted by a rogue group of changelings, who immediately hoisted him onto their shoulders, carrying him through the portal like a guest of honor. Stunned, Jeremy remained silent. Finally, they came to the main chamber, where changelings were lining every single ledge and crevasse, creating the impression of a massive auditorium. By now, Jeremy was truly confused. A single changeling, male by the looks of things, approached him, and to his shock, bowed.

"Our queen relayed to us that you plan on marrying her – we wish to express our gratitude."

And to round out the whole spectacle, every single changeling began cheering in various voices, both sibylline hissing and what Jeremy thought might have been English. It was deafening, and for a moment he was too stunned to react. As the applause died down, more and more changelings looked at him expectantly, and Jeremy realized he should say something.

"Wow," he finally said. "I… wasn't expecting such enthusiasm… Well, I suppose you're expecting some sort of speech, judging by the looks." Most of the changelings were listening in, and you could hear a penny drop in the cavern. Jeremy frantically racked his brain for something to say – he hated speeches. Then it occurred to him, and he smiled. "All I can say is that I'm going to treat her like the queen she is," he concluded.

There was a moment of silence, and Jeremy wondered if he had sounded stupid. Then, the entire cavern once again burst into applause, and he grinned, embarrassed. With that, the crowd of changeling drones around him parted to allow entrance back through the portal. As he left, Jeremy hoped Luna wouldn't pull anything similar – as flattering as that was, he'd rather not be put on the spot like that again.

The office was just as he remembered it, and he smiled at a stack of papers piled up on his desk – his latest project had taken quite a lot of thinking, drawing and calculating. Sitting down, he tried to continue before realizing he was just as stuck as before – he'd have to wait until some of his online questions had been answered. So, he set off for the Canterlot shops.

To his surprise, there was quite the commotion on the main street. A section of the road was floating upside down in midair, and a cart of ice cream was attached to the underside, looking as though it too had been flipped upside down while still attached to the road. Less surprisingly, Discord was at the center of the scene, arguing with some darker pink pony with a yellow mane, and a cutie mark of three bright red cherries.

"That's not funny!" she protested.

"Say it," Discord countered, smiling as devilishly as usual. She mumbled something. "What was that? Couldn't quite make it out," he continued.

"Can I have my cart back, _pretty please with a cherry on top_!" the mare yelled. With a flash, the piece of road was teleported back onto the street, and the pink mare found herself on top of her cart, and jumped out, yelping at the freezing temperature. Discord, as per usual, was laughing as hard as he could. Jeremy strode up, staring at him.

"Really? _Cherry on top_?" he asked.

"Why, what were you expecting, my little human?" Discord asked as he swiveled to face Jeremy, laying on his stomach in thin air and putting both his claws on his cheeks.

Jeremy grinned. "Something with a bit more… _taste_."

Discord stared for a moment, then went right back to laughing. "I see you have an appreciation for the jokes of life! Very well, let's hear your idea." Jeremy smiled back, glad Discord was playing along.

"Well, I don't know – ponies around here seem awfully cold to be eating ice cream." He whispered into Discord's ear, and Discord listened attentively before grinning and snapping his fingers.

"Oh, I like this – I don't even think anypony will blame me for this one!" Discord laughed, before disappearing into thin air and reappearing just outside the crowd. Jeremy walked up to the mare, who smiled at him uncertainly.

"Why do you even have ice cream right now, anyway? It's winter," Jeremy wondered aloud.

The mare rolled her eyes. "Haven't gotten _that_ question before. I move these to my other home in the winter, because they would all melt in the summer – normally I've got a lot more than a cartful, but business hasn't been going so well." Jeremy grinned.

"Well, why don't you try selling one?" He pulled out a bit from his pocket, and handed it to the surprised mare, who curiously hoofed over a cone. To her increasing suspicion, Jeremy handed it back.

"Try it, you might like it," he remarked, noting the stares of the crowd. Looking at him with an air of utmost suspicion, she took a lick. Eyes widening, she took another.

"It's… warm? Really warm. But it's still vanilla ice cream," she said wonderingly. Jeremy chuckled.

"Sounds like something that would sell well in a cold environment, hmm?" With that, he left the mare to the crowd, who quickly pressed in for a chance to try the newly enchanted substance. Before he walked out of sight, Jeremy looked back, and the mare flashed him a grateful grin. He gave Discord the thumbs up, and after a moment's hesitation, Discord gave the thumbs up back – ponies were pressing around him now, asking what else he could do.

Jeremy headed back through the portal, still grinning – he had the vague feeling Discord knew exactly what Jeremy was going for, and appreciated the gesture. Huh, maybe Discord had changed. Then again, maybe the draconequus was just trolling as usual – you never could know. Exiting his bedroom, he found Chrysalis spread-eagle on the floor of the upstairs living room, reading a book.

"So I went to the hive an hour ago," he informed her.

Chrysalis rolled over so that she could face him right side up, putting the book down. "And what did they do?" she asked, with the air of one who already knew the answer.

Jeremy sat down next to her. "Gave me a standing ovation. Was it really necessary?" he asked, embarrassed.

Chrysalis laughed. "No being has ever willingly wished to marry a changeling queen – such is an unprecedented event in history. Add that to the gossip that's been circulating around you and I for ages now in the hive, and that's what you get."

Jeremy looked at her. "There's _still_ gossip going around? Thought that would've died down once we were confirmed as a couple," he muttered. Chrysalis simply shrugged, and went back to reading her book.

Dinner was an eventful affair – Luna had elected to cook, and promptly needed help turning on the oven. After a few mishaps with the timer, they finally got it up and running, and she placed the pasta-based dish inside with her magic, gently closing the door.

"Must be nice, having magic," Jeremy commented. "Never have to worry about burning yourself on the grates." Luna laughed.

"Believe us when we say magic comes with its own hazards." Jeremy laughed as well, remembering the many mishaps on the show.

After dinner, Jeremy checked around his websites for updates. Finding none, he was about to sign off when a curious email caught his eye. Chrysalis was in the room, reading a book.

"Weird… no subject," Jeremy commented, and she looked up. Seeing that he was on his email, she hurriedly rushed over.

"Don't open that!" she begged, physically attempting to move his hand away from the mouse with her magic.

"What the hell? Why not?!" Jeremy asked, irritated and very confused as he kept the computer mouse out of her magical reach.

"It's… You don't even want to know," Chrysalis mumbled. Jeremy picked her up and dumped her in his lap, staring at her intently.

"Chrysalis, don't keep secrets from me. What happens if I open this email?" he asked. Chrysalis looked around, as though hoping some form of escape would present itself; finding none, she sighed.

"It's… it's that guy," she finally admitted. Jeremy was utterly confused for a moment.

"…What guy?" he inquired. Chrysalis hissed angrily.

"The guy who gave me all the weapons, remember? Tried to rape me? That idiot?" The memory quickly came back to Jeremy, and he nodded.

"Oh, yeah. _Him_. What does he want?" Jeremy asked unhappily – nothing this guy wanted could possibly be good. Chrysalis sighed once more.

"He's somehow gotten your email address, and what's worse, he _knows I'm here_ – he's been trying to contact me all day, alternately apologizing and making veiled threats."

Jeremy looked at her, by now thoroughly alarmed. "Did you respond with anything?" he asked uncertainly.

Chrysalis shook her head. "I'm not going to humor his ridiculous attempts, but that's not what I'm worried about! How does he know I'm here, with _you_?"

Jeremy thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Tell you what – let's bring it up to the others, see what they think," he suggested, and Chrysalis nodded.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Unfortunately, their combined schedules meant Jeremy had to wait until the next day's dinner to bring it up again. As he laid out the plates, Luna picked up on his unusually somber mood.

"Alright, so I'm sure you've guessed we have a problem," he began as he sat down. He briefly explained the events and history Chrysalis had told him of, and was surprised to see Luna glaring at her in outrage.

"We just spoke with the FBI to prevent this sort of occurrence – the least thou could do was mention it!" she accused Chrysalis, who glared right back.

"For you to do what? Track him down? Kill him? Because that's the only way he's going to be silent for certain." Luna fell silent at this.

Jeremy glanced between the two. "We can't modify his memory or something?" he asked after a pause. Luna shook her head.

"If his contention is such that he still remembers after all this time, it is likely he would suffer permanent brain damage by attempting to forget such a span of time in his life."

To be fair, Jeremy would have almost preferred the brain damage for how much he already hated this figure – but he still had an inclination that there might be a more humane option.

"Well, it's not like we can bring in the elements of Harmony - last I checked, those were still in the Tree, and besides, if Nightmare Moon survived her harmonization, who knows what it'll do to this guy…" Jeremy pondered aloud.

"Would it be possible to convince him to submit peacefully?" Luna curiously asked. Jeremy thought for all of half a second before shaking his head.

"Even if we reach agreement, there's nothing holding him back from lying or double-crossing us – and God forbid we agree to any of his terms." Chrysalis solemnly nodded. Unable to resolve the conundrum, Jeremy frustratedly finished his food and packed up, departing for the computer.

To his dismay, he found yet another email from the nameless rapist – this one with the threat to kill himself if he didn't get a response. Jeremy sighed – did he really want to indulge this? He thought of what to do – any response would provoke the guy, it seemed. What he needed was something that confused the sender so much that they wouldn't know how to respond. What would Discord do? Jeremy pondered. An idea came to him, and he pressed the "Reply" button, and without typing a thing, clicked "Send". The email system asked him if he had meant to do this, and he clicked "Yes". Chrysalis walked up, and he quickly explained to her what he had done.

"…Interesting…" Chrysalis noted.

"He wanted a response, and he got one," Jeremy remarked, a smile tugging at the corner of his face.

With that, they went to bed, Jeremy sleeping with Chrysalis this time. He had gotten used to the cocoon, and while it was still a very odd sensation compared to sleeping in a bed, he had long since adjusted and even grew to enjoy the feeling of weightlessness.

As Jeremy dreamt, his subconscious was plagued by images of the other guy – his appearance kept changing, but in the logic-defying nature of dreams, Jeremy always recognized him. His dreaming mind got the idea that if he could kill the other guy in the dream, they might never wake up, and he was about to do so when Luna came up behind him and tapped him on the waist. The dream instantly vanished, and Jeremy looked around, realizing what he was doing.

"…That was dumb," he commented.

Luna sighed. "Didst thou really think that would work?" Jeremy shrugged.

"Kind of? It wasn't like I was sober enough to realize how stupid that was," he replied.

They spent some time in the dream world, discussing various things as the scenery shifted to memories around them. Finally, as the scene shifted to the Equestrian moon, Luna got up, motioning for him to follow. Curiously, Jeremy walked behind her as she approached what appeared to be a bright green hole in their reality – it gave off a soft light, and Luna examined it carefully with a practiced eye.

"We wondered what that feeling was – Chrysalis' mind has sensed our dream." Jeremy looked at it.

"She can do that?" he asked in consternation.

Luna lightly chuckled. "All magic users can do at least some dreamwalking – exceptionally powerful ones such as alicorns and fully-loved changeling queens can reach out with their minds and interconnect with other dreams directly." She stepped through, instantly disappearing, and after some hesitation, Jeremy followed.

They emerged in Chrysalis' hive, but it looked different: Chrysalis herself was in her room, and a cluster of changelings was around her – including, Jeremy noticed, a human that wasn't him. Lying on her back, Chrysalis groaned in pain as the various changelings applied differently colored liquids from their fangs.

"Follow my advice and you won't even have to do this anymore," the human mentioned as casually as though Chrysalis wasn't dying in front of him.

"Is that…?" Jeremy asked, pointing. Luna nodded.

"That would appear to be the one. Remember, this is only a dream – attempting to harm him would do nothing."

Jeremy nodded, and continued to watch, feeling oddly out of place. Was this what Luna did all the time – simply watched dreams from the sidelines, intervening when necessary?

The memory shifted, and this time Chrysalis, who was looking significantly better but not quite healed, was traipsing through the forest along with the human, who was looking at her every few seconds nervously.

"So… Ethan, was it? You said the portal was closed," Chrysalis mentioned.

"Yeah, it was right here, I'm sure of it," the man grumbled as he surveyed a tree.

Personally, Jeremy didn't know how he could tell, as it was exactly the same as every other tree in the forest – but then again, maybe he was missing something. Chrysalis grinned, and her horn lit up green. The familiar green portal opened, and another house was visible through it.

"I may not have much power, but I certainly have enough to open a simple gateway," she boasted. The male gazed openmouthed. "Now, remember our part of the deal, human," Chrysalis intoned forcefully, and the male raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I can get you everything you need," he answered. "If I'm not back in a week, come find me."

Chrysalis watched him step through the portal, smirking to herself.

Once more, the scene changed, as instantly as though it were simply a movie. This time, the portal had been relocated to inside the hive, and Chrysalis was smugly conversing with the other human – Ethan, Jeremy reminded himself. He listened in.

"You mean the whole time, you wanted to mate with Princess Celestia? _That's_ what you wanted out of this? And now that you've realized that she would never submit to such dark intent – a fact readily obvious to everyone with brain cells, you want me to take her place?" Chrysalis inquired mockingly.

"It's always been a dream of mine, and you owe me," he threateningly stated.

Chrysalis looked at him in surprise, and began to laugh. Her laugh filled the chamber, until Jeremy realized it was being echoed by the thousands of changelings who were already surrounding the defenseless human.

"You are living on my whim, _human_," Chrysalis spat, advancing toward him as he backed up towards the wall the portal was next to. Jeremy watched with interest as the crowd of changelings came closer and closer towards where he and Luna were hiding, only to pass right through them. "You're lucky I let you live long enough to give me your blueprints. If I weren't so amused by your pathetic attempt at satisfying your equally pathetic desires, I would have ripped out your throat for daring to speak to me that way." The changelings stirred, hissing slightly and narrowing their eyes at the human figure in the center.

Ethan shifted uncomfortably. "What… what are you going to do?" he asked, his voice having lost its earlier bravado.

Chrysalis pretended to consider, before giving a single hiss. The changelings surrounding Ethan opened a path from him to the portal, and he stared around in shock. "Well," Chrysalis continued, the look on her face expressing her absolute control over him, "I'm feeling generous today, so I'll allow you to live another day – I have more important things to do than dispose of your corpse. But if you don't leave fast… I may just change my mind," she threatened, wings spreading out and fangs bared in an impressive display. Without a moment's hesitation, Ethan fled the hive, to the hissed laughter of the surrounding crowd of changelings.

"We think now would be a good time to interrupt," Luna mentioned as she trotted up to Chrysalis and tapped her on the shoulder.

All the other changelings instantly disappeared, and Chrysalis looked around in shock. "I- what?" she asked, her voice having notably changed back to the more demure and polite voice she had adopted recently.

"We and Jeremy would like to speak with you, and – Jeremy?" she called over in his direction.

"Yeah, what?" Jeremy asked, jogging over as he looked around at the hive.

"…Nothing," Luna commented after a while. She turned back to Chrysalis. "It seems this human was intimidated easily – perhaps the same tactic would work twice?" Chrysalis huffed, taking a seat in the memory-projection of the main cavern.

"As much as I appreciate your interrupting this travesty, we could just as easily discuss this in the real world."

Luna nodded wisely. "We could, but then both of thou would be still half-asleep and only partially lucid," she reminded Chrysalis. "This way, we can discuss it at length – time is very subjective in dreams." Jeremy nodded – this made sense.

After an indeterminate amount of time later, they were still at a standstill. Chrysalis had quickly rejected any notion of intimidation, as "she wasn't about to go back to that". Grudgingly, Luna had accepted this line of reasoning, and the three were now firmly planted on square 1.

"Ugh – at this point I'm tempted to just turn the guy over to the FBI – why can't they deal with him? He's a threat to national security, or something, right?" Jeremy frustratedly remarked. Luna looked at him in delight.

"Of course! They have many more resources than us – and they can detain him and figure out what to do!" Chrysalis looked at the two of them for a moment, then shrugged and nodded.

"Whatever floats your boat. The last time I checked on a map, he was somewhere in the state of Florida – although he could have moved," she noted.

"Well, that solves that, I guess…" Jeremy remarked uncertainly – he had meant the idea of involving the FBI as a joke, but he could see it being taken seriously.

For a while, Chrysalis too wanted to discuss her day with him.

"Weren't you just complaining about how my dreams are boring?" Jeremy taunted. She looked at him with a slight glare.

"We never talk anymore – you're always at school," she grumbled. Jeremy laughed, and with a nod of his head, gestured for her to continue her train of thought.

This was interrupted quickly, however, by Luna staring at him.

"…What?" Jeremy finally asked during a pause in the conversation.

"You're… fading," she commented.

Jeremy looked down to find that every few seconds (as far as the concept of 'seconds' went here), his body would fade and turn translucent.

"Okay, what does that mean?" he asked.

"It would usually mean you're waking up, but what-?" Luna began, but was unable to finish her sentence before the world around Jeremy went black.

Jeremy sat up in shock as he woke up – an incredibly loud crack had just sounded right outside his house. In fact, if he didn't know better, he'd say that was… gunfire! Resolving to save his conversation with Luna and Chrysalis for later, he hurriedly pulled on his suit, taking out the assault rifle.

As he headed out into the night, the clock on the oven told him it was approximately 2 A.M. He was amazed that neither Luna or Chrysalis had woken up – the gunshots repeated once every few minutes, as though whoever it was had been target practicing. Heading out the door, he kept to the shadows, hoping he wouldn't be seen. He followed the sound of the gunshots until he reached a street the same as any others, devoid of all activity. Sighing with irritation, Jeremy was about to go back and wake up Luna for help when he found himself locked into an iron embrace, and a cloth pressed to his nose and mouth. Jeremy accidentally inhaled in shock, and the sweet smell changed to a very rotten one. _Why had he forgotten his helmet? Why hadn't he woken up Luna beforehand for assistance? Why…_ Before he could finish this latest thought, he passed into dreamless unconsciousness.

Waking up, Jeremy's first thought was that he had a hell of a headache. His second thought was to vaguely wonder where he was, and why he was in the back of a car seat. Too out of it to process these thoughts, he slipped away from reality again.

The second time he woke up, the headache was even worse, and he was smelling something awful. A blurry object was taken away from his face, and he groaned as he tried to remember what had happened.

"Oh, God… where am I?" he mumbled.

"Safe," a clipped voice answered. Why did Jeremy remember that voice? Everything was so confusing… Wait… the hive. Chrysalis… where was Chrysalis? She had been talking to… Jeremy's eyes flew wide open as the truth hit him.

"Who are you?" he asked, hoping the answer wasn't what he thought it was.

"Name's Ethan," the other guy grumbled, coming into view. "Not that it matters, because you and I aren't going to know each other for much longer." As casually as though he were flicking a light switch, he pulled out a pistol from a jacket pocket, and it occurred to Jeremy how very haggard Ethan looked: Specifically, as though he had been up for the entire night – perhaps more than one.

Aiming the gun at his face, Ethan spoke carefully, as though he had rehearsed this moment.

"Now. The longer you talk, the longer you live – and since that plagiarized suit of yours prevents me from hurting you anywhere but the head, first slip-up means death." Jeremy mutely nodded.

"First question: How did you seduce Chrysalis?" Ethan asked.

"I… solved the problem of feeding her hive, and then we got to know each other as friends," Jeremy hazily replied.

Ethan nodded as if this made sense to him. "Alright, next question: What do I have to do to steal Princess Celestia from you?" Jeremy looked up at him sharply, and Ethan waved the gun in his face.

"No lying or stalling, now. Remember, I can kill you just like that." A thin bead of sweat made its way down Jeremy's face.

"You… what? I don't know how you would do that, I'm no miracle worker!" Jeremy protested.

"Shut up!" Ethan yelled, causing the pressure in Jeremy's skull to spike to unbearable levels. Finally, his head couldn't take it anymore, and he gratefully accepted oblivion.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

As Jeremy came to once more, he noticed Ethan was off in another room, and took advantage of the moment to gather his surroundings, hoping to either deduce where he was or a means of escape. The room was quite dark, so he could only make out that he was tied to a chair along one wall, and the room looked like it hadn't been occupied for some time. Unfortunately, the only door out led right to where Ethan presumably was, and the sole window wasn't helping much, providing only a view of a dark forest. Was it nighttime still, then? Or maybe this was the next day. How long had he been out? Thinking quickly, he attempted to send a mental message to Luna. _Kidnapped – a little help?_ He thought, attempting to project his thoughts outward and only succeeding in worsening his headache. To his dismay, the response was so garbled that he couldn't make it out – either they had finally discovered a limit to their mental connection, or he was so messed up after being drugged that their connection had frayed. So, that probably wasn't working. What then? He was still wearing the suit – he surmised one or even all three of his marefriends could track it or him if necessary. Until then, he'd simply have to hold out.

Unfortunately, Ethan came back into the room and promptly noticed he was awake.

"Ah, good. Feeling better? Man, you have the chloroform tolerance of a baby, you went out like a light," Ethan remarked, as casual as ever. Jeremy tried to laugh a little in an attempt to lighten the mood, but couldn't bring himself to do much more than wheeze. "Abandoned house. Nice, huh? I scoped out the place before coming to collect you. Apparently, it's been closed down due to asbestos, but I think we'll be fine." Jeremy looked up at him, coughing a little.

"So… isn't this the part where you tell me just how the hell you tracked me down?" he asked, stalling.

"Heh. Yeah, this is that part, isn't it? Where the good guy tells the bad guy just how he beat him. Alright, I'll bite – you're going to die either way. I'm sure you're aware of my former escapade of Chrysalis, although she probably made me out to be a lot worse than I was," Ethan began, pulling up a second chair.

"After that, I went back to my daily life – it was pretty depressing, being rejected from Equestria, I'll tell you that much. After all, I befriended her when no one else would – don't you think that entitles me to a little action?" Ethan claimed, gesturing at Jeremy. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Just continue the story," he replied, trying to hold back the insults he wanted to hurl at this scum.

Ethan laughed. "Fine, since you're such a good listener. During my tour in Afghanistan, I became friends with a guy who later worked in the NSA – and I made a bet at the time that Chrysalis would want to contact more humans. So, I had my friend tap into the Hasbro email system – apparently, it wasn't even that difficult. He sent me concept art, and I began to notice you. You looked awfully familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. That was when I found this." He pulled out a newspaper article, and with a sinking feeling, Jeremy saw his own picture staring back at him with the headline "Local Teen Rescues High School, Kills Over 100". He had read that article – and concluded it was the usual sensationalist tripe. "Once I saw this, I knew who you were and where to find you. To my surprise, you never disappeared – how did you do that, by the way?"

Jeremy grimaced. "Time shenanigans," he said by way of explanation.

Ethan chuckled. "Figures – did you get Twilight to do that?" Jeremy made a noncommittal motion with his head, the only part of him that could move.

"So, I knew where you were, and I knew you had been in Equestria at some point prior to now. Since then, I've been planning, and waiting," Ethan finished. Jeremy sighed, the ropes around his chest uncomfortably restricting his breathing.

"Seriously, what is the NSA's deal?" Jeremy complained. Ethan laughed, taking out his pistol again.

"Does it look like you get to ask questions?" he replied, polishing the small black gun with a cloth. Jeremy attempted to shrug, and failed miserably. "So, I asked you once and I'll ask you again: What does Princess Celestia like? I know she's with you, it wasn't hard to figure that out when you drove back with a mysterious lady from your trip to Mexico," Ethan slyly remarked.

Jeremy sighed. "She likes… singing. Heroic acts, apparently. And… you know, all the regular stuff a girl likes. Talking, complimenting her, helping her when she's down. That sort of thing?" Jeremy tried. Ethan nodded, actually taking the time to write these down on a notepad he had also pulled out of a pocket.

"Right, well, it doesn't seem like you're pulling my leg, at any rate. Thanks, this has been helpful," Ethan smoothly said as he put away the notepad.

"So… can I go, then?" Jeremy irritably asked. Ethan laughed.

"No, no, you misunderstand. I'm going to kill you anyway – can't have you messing with my girls." He pulled out the pistol, and aimed it at his head. "Last words?" Ethan asked, as polite as ever, and Jeremy once again strained to mentally connect with Luna, Celestia, Chrysalis, _anybody_. He'd even settle for Twilight Sparkle and the fourth-wall consequences that were inherent to her presence.

"You're a real douchebag if you think you're entitled to love - what are you, one of those ridiculous bronies with the fedoras and misogynistic attitude?" Jeremy taunted. If he was about to die, he was going to go out as snarkily as possible this time.

Ethan snarled at him. "It's a _trilby_, you assh-" he started, and began pulling his finger back on the trigger.

Before he could finish Jeremy off, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. "What the hell?" Ethan asked in consternation, but before he could finish, the door burst open, and four figures burst into the room. Luna was foremost, her eyes taken over by a burning blue aura and her face containing enough alicorn rage to remind Jeremy of Nightmare Moon. Chrysalis, off to the left, was baring her fangs at the sight of Ethan. To Jeremy's surprise, Celestia was also present, eyes smoldering in anger – when had she shown up? His shock only increased when he saw the fourth figure was a human – a female, looking as though she had just gotten up.

To his credit, Ethan reacted remarkably quickly. He dove back into Jeremy's room, pulling out his chair with difficulty and aiming the pistol straight at Jeremy's head, the end of the barrel digging into his temple. "If I even see a horn lighting up, he dies," Ethan warned, and Jeremy looked in shock at the blurry, dark rectangle off to his right. This was it – he was going to die, and they couldn't save him. "How did you find me? I've been extra careful. Who even are you?" Ethan asked gruffly, directing his question at the lone human of the group.

"Mary Callahan, FBI," she replied in an official voice. "And even if you kill him, we've got three super-powered horses and a trained agent on our side – there's no way you're getting out of this fight alive if you choose to initiate it." To everyone's surprise, Celestia and Luna both looked at her in shock and hurt, before returning their gaze to Ethan.

"So, Celestia, seeing as you don't want this kid dead on the floor, what would you be willing to do to see him safe?" Ethan replied, sounding bored. Celestia gave him a furious glare.

"What… did you have in mind?" she asked carefully.

Ethan smiled. "Oh, I don't know. Why don't we get to know each other? You might find I'm not so terrible. We might even bond…"

Even Mary looked disgusted at this point, though Jeremy noticed she was slowly, almost imperceptibly moving her hand – to where, he didn't know. Ethan's eyes were still on Celestia.

"Oh, don't give me that look. You think I wanted to pull all of this? No. I would have been happy to do things the regular way, but your changeling friend stopped me, for her own selfish reasons." Chrysalis gave him a smile.

"Guilty as charged," she mocked.

Ethan's smile turned into an ugly frown, and he backed away slowly, still pointing the gun at Jeremy's head. He grabbed an assault rifle off a table, and Jeremy recognized it – it was his own. _How dreadfully ironic_, he thought to himself. Ethan returned to the main room, now pointing the assault rifle at Chrysalis in addition to the pistol aimed at Jeremy's head. "What, you think you're funny? A hero too, is that it? You're a _changeling_. Just a mindless enemy who didn't even rate high enough to get her ass kicked by the Elements of Harmony," Ethan snarled as he attempted to hold the weight of the gun with one hand, causing his entire arm to slightly shake.

It was then that Mary sprang into action, reaching back and pulling out her own sidearm in the space of less than a second. With practiced aim, she squeezed off a single shot at Ethan, aiming not for his body but for his arm, and scoring a hit. Ethan howled in pain, and dropped the pistol to clutch his arm in pain. "I'll get you for that, bitch!" he roared. "But first, I'll fucking finally give that overgrown insect some payback!" With that, he let off a burst of bullets at Chrysalis, who was far too slow to dodge them.

"No!" Jeremy cried as she slumped to the floor, lifeless and bleeding heavily.

Ethan swung his gun around, finger still on the trigger, and Luna rapidly countered by shielding all of them from the bullets. Before anyone could react, her horn began to emit a sphere of blue light, seemingly charging.

"Luna, no!" Celestia screamed, but it was too late: The area around Ethan blew apart in a colossal explosion, sending Jeremy flying through the window and completely demolishing the side of the house. Passersby stared as Jeremy flew backwards, landing on his front. The chair was demolished, but the ropes still held him tight to the fragments. Somehow, he was alright – no shrapnel? He looked back, and saw why: Luna appeared to have created a bubble of pure force rather than an actual explosion – aside from the chunks of wall sticking out of a few odd places on his suit, he wasn't even hurt, and there were no visible scorch marks anywhere. Unfortunately, the ropes were as strong as ever, so he lay on his side and tried to angle his head for a better view of the fight.

Luna was by now going full-on crazy, shooting bolts of magic left and right. Celestia too was joining in, and Ethan was putting up a remarkable show by dodging and firing shots back at them, causing them to stop their attempts to avoid or deflect the bullets. Mary was shooting whenever she could, but wasn't hitting much due to the chaos all around her. "We could have been something!" Ethan screamed. "But no, you had to throw it all away for this – this kid! What's so special about him?!" Celestia responded with yet another beam of magic – this time a roaring column of fire that lit the grass on fire wherever it touched. When Ethan dodged this, Luna added in her own magic, turning the fire bright blue and causing the stream to bend towards Ethan, who weaved and rolled before issuing a spray of bullets, catching Luna in the chest. She staggered back, and Jeremy was about to cry out in shock. However, with a grim determination, she shook it off, and reared back to her hooves.

_That's my girl_, Jeremy thought gratefully.

Unfortunately, Ethan had taken advantage of their momentary distraction to bound forward, bringing the gun down on Celestia's head with a crack loud enough to be heard a block away. Celestia dropped like a stone, and Ethan snarled at Luna before bringing the gun in a wild arc towards Mary, who dropped her firearm in shock. "I've beaten your sister – you want me to fight you too?! Bring it on!" Ethan yelled as he brought his firearm back towards Luna and issued a spray of bullets directly at her – she had no way to dodge, and they were all aimed at her head. Jeremy closed his eyes. A soft sibylline laugh caused him to open them in utter shock, and for a moment the entire fight stopped. Luna looked up – she was protected by a bright green and very familiar magical sphere

Chrysalis surveyed the scene, and Ethan stared at her as though he was seeing a ghost. "You – I just shot you, how are you alive?!" he exclaimed, momentarily letting the rifle drop.

"Changelings can't die from just bullets, fool – this one learned that the hard way," she snarled, jerking a hoof at Jeremy. "As for how I'm healed, let's just say being given enough love to power a city helps!" With that, she sprang forward, and Ethan reacted by swinging the gun up and shooting at her once more.

_Because if something didn't work before, that's exactly what you do – you keep on trying until it does_, Jeremy thought sarcastically. Sure enough, Chrysalis had extended her magical protection to herself as well, and she and Luna sprang forward. Oddly, the whole scene reminded Jeremy of his respective battles with Chrysalis herself and Nightmare Moon, but in exact reverse.

The fight ended quickly after that: Luna had used her magic to finally steal the assault rifle away from Ethan, and Chrysalis issued burst after magical burst of green energy around him until he backed away, crying and screaming "Okay, I surrender! Don't kill me, dammit!" Chrysalis approached him.

"You know, if you had been actually nice to anyone, we might have accepted you. As it stands… I can see into your mind, worm, and one phrase strikes me in particular." Ethan looked at her, curiously and still in fear. "Nice guys finish last," Chrysalis laughed, and swung the butt of the rifle around, knocking him on the head and causing Ethan to finally collapse, unconscious. Jeremy breathed out a sigh of relief, and Chrysalis looked over.

"Jeremy!" she cried, Luna following her as she trotted over.

Jeremy gave a weak smile as they approached. "How'd you even find me, anyway?" he asked.

Luna gave a nervous laugh. "We informed Celestia of your disappearance, and she was about to track thou using the same spell she used to find thou last time, but we received a call from Mary. As it turns out, she is assigned to thou and tracks thy movements. Once she had discerned thou leaving the house at such an odd time, she called us to learn whether we were aware of this fact, and found we were not, we quickly got together and found you." Jeremy smiled over at Mary, who looked at him uncertainly.

"So… anyone going to untie me?" he asked, and Chrysalis started guiltily as she used her magic to loosen and finally snap the ropes. Stretching, Jeremy got up. "As for me, I got captured in the stupidest way possible: Woke up to gunshots, went out to investigate, and got myself chloroformed. So much for the perfect hero, huh?" he joked. He then looked at Celestia, and his expression turned grim.

"She'll be fine – a bit sore in the morning, but we alicorns are tougher than thou think," Luna answered, following his gaze.

"What about you?" You've been _shot_ – don't you need medical attention?" Jeremy protested, examining her wounds. Luna lit her horn once more, and her wounds magically healed, the bullets popping out and gently thumping on the floor. She pitched forward, and Jeremy caught her. Chrysalis too looked a little dazed.

"Might've used up a bit more magic than I should've," she muttered. Fortunately, she was still strong enough to stand, and assisted Jeremy and Mary in lugging the unconscious forms of Celestia and Luna to Mary's car.

They drove to Jeremy's house in silence. "So… tracking me, I see. How's that work?" Jeremy commented to Mary, who gave him a tired grin.

"Yeah, that's my job – keeping track of an important political figure. I tracked you by your cellphone - hope you don't mind the intrusion?" she asked.

"Just this once, I'll let it slide." Jeremy replied with a hint of gratitude.

"So… is this normal? Talking horses, magic battles...?" Mary asked.

Chrysalis sharply sat up. "Don't call us that!"

Mary looked at her through the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry, is that offensive?" she inquired.

Chrysalis nodded. "It's a highly derogatory and sexual term where we come from - just call us 'ponies'."

In response to her question, Jeremy deeply sighed. "My life is never normal," he grumbled, and Chrysalis chuckled in the back seat, holding the sleeping alicorns from bumping around with a hoof.

It seemed the FBI were very good at convincing the passersby who had seen into alternative explanations, and Jeremy was grateful for that: The last thing he wanted was to be famous again. Mary had driven off with Ethan in custody shortly after dropping the four off at Jeremy's house, claiming that the psychotic soldier "would never be seen again." Jeremy normally objected to such anti-transparent methods of disposing of political prisoners, but a look from Chrysalis suggested she thought his punishment, whatever it might have been, was far too light. Celestia and Luna healed remarkably quickly, and Jeremy apologized endlessly for getting them into such trouble.

"Oh, stop!" Luna exclaimed after a recent bout. "It's about time we saved thou anyway – thou were stealing all the good adventures."

Celestia giggled, and Jeremy reluctantly let it go. Chrysalis, as soon as she was certain the two alicorns were alright, embarrassedly asked Jeremy for some love – she was running dangerously close to starving again. To her shock, Jeremy swept her up and kissed her on the lips, and she immediately returned the favor. Jeremy settled down into a chair as he felt more and more lightheaded, and finally broke away, claiming that he would pass out if he gave any more. Jeremy smiled at Celestia and Luna, who were watching with adoration.

"More where that came from," he added, and they blushed. And Jeremy finally relaxed – he was once and for all, finally certain that he would never have to fight for this heaven again.


End file.
